Forgive Me

by Kateri Stanley

  This was his first job after finishing college. He’d studied chemistry and shockingly, managed to bag the first lab technician job he applied for. Some of his friends were still flipping burgers at McDonalds and were completing applications for every lab out there during their breaks. It was hard not to feel guilty about it.

  Laurie had been at Kaltheia for about a year when he'd finally gathered the confidence to work in the lab on his own. He’d done the routines enough to complete in his sleep and his boss seemed comfortable with the idea of him manning the fort. It of course had nothing to do with his colleagues whinging that it was his time to clock a night shift under his belt so they could have a sleep in.

  Laurie was becoming immune to the jibes about his lankiness and sandy surfer hair. He was the youngest in his team. Sometimes when he was feeling particularly brave, he'd dish an insult back. Only now and then, he didn't want people thinking he was a complete jerk. In the long run, it wouldn’t be beneficial for his career.

  There was a loud bang and Laurie nearly choked on his coffee. It was coming from the lab and his heart began to race.

  Shit, I bet the analyser is fucking up! I don't want to call Estates. Those guys are such assholes.

  They’d arrive at the lab with their widened smiles and sharp tongues. They’d poke at Laurie’s youth, stabbing at his smooth tanned skin, comparing their silver and white hair to his blonde locks. Also working in Haematology and Pathology was enough for mockery, especially from the opposite sex. Laurie could count on both hands the amount of cutting remarks he’d received when he plucked up the courage to approach an attractive female about his ‘dorky’ profession. Way to go, Mr Sexy…

  The banging from outside erupted again. The volume made him jump to his feet. The samples will be ruined!

  Laurie pulled on his coat and felt like he was going to barf when he saw something staring at him from the lab window.

  What the…

  There was a woman standing in the rain. She was slamming her hand against the window pane again and again, watching him.

  He wasn’t sure how old she was. She could’ve been a young girl. He couldn't be too sure, with age nowadays. People looked older or younger than they actually were. Laurie grew increasingly apprehensive. Why on earth was there a woman outside?

  Kaltheia was in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by trees and hills. Possession of a full valid driving licence was essential; it was in his employee contract.

  The rain poured down and the woman was so close to the window that her breath was clouding the glass. Her eyes were bright blue, pale like ice. She started to tap on the glass, her gaze never left his.

  “Hello,” she whispered, her voice was soft. “Can you let me in?”

  Laurie swallowed his fear and opened the window, his fingers were shaking. “What do you want?” he asked.

  “My truck broke down and I need to make a call,” she replied.

  “Ah, shit. Sorry, that sucks. If you go to the Security team round the front, they’ll help you. They can phone a mechanic.”

  She scrunched up her face. “I… can’t see them.”

  “It’s around the front.” Laurie pointed so she could follow. “See? If you walk down the hill, it’s on your left.”

  The woman smiled, shaking her head with embarrassment. “I’m sorry, I don’t know. I can’t see it. The rain’s pretty heavy out here.”

  Laurie was hating this; he had a job to do and this was happening during his break. “This place is in the middle of nowhere. How long have you been walking?”

  “For hours. This is the first building I’ve seen in ages. Is it okay if I can use your phone? I'm not a thief, or a serial killer. You can frisk me for knives or rope if you want.”

  The remark made him queasy. Keep it together man.

  “I only need to make a call. I really won’t be long,” she added.

  The woman was soaking and shivering. Laurie knew cars broke. His own had done it a couple of times but it was always on the freeway. Why was she driving around this God forsaken place late at night?

  Do something man. You can’t just leave her. She could catch hyperthermia and it’ll be your fault. You don’t want a cute dead girl on your conscience. He wanted to shake the thoughts away. Laurie stared at her, sighing inwardly. Fine, but this is the last fucking time I do something generous.

  “Okay, I’ll let you use the phone.”

  Her face was a wash of relief. “Thank you. I really appreciate it.”

  They don’t pay me enough for this.

  “Yeah, sure.” Laurie’s hand trembled as he opened the window. The rain splashed, and he grabbed her wet fingers. He pulled her through, making a racket. “Be careful where you put your hands and feet.”

  “Thank you so much! You’re a lifesaver,” she replied, her clothes were dripping, making patterns on the floor.

  “I’ll get you a towel,” Laurie said and threw a cloth from the cupboard.

  “Is this a laboratory?” she asked, looking around as she raked the cloth along her hair.

  Is it obvious? “Yeah, it is, that’s why you need to be careful.” Laurie peeled the sodden coat from her shoulders. His cheeks burned when their eyes connected, feeling immediately stupid. Get the fuck on with it. He placed the coat in the sink, indicating to the wall by the administration corner. “There's the phone.”

  She smiled brightly. “Thanks.”

  “Yeah, sure. Don’t mention it.”

  Laurie watched her speak to the operator as he tried his best to wrench the dampness from her coat. According to her story, white smoke was seeping from the engine of her red chevy truck. She'd added oil but eventually the vehicle conked out. She yapped on for a while about how she got to Kaltheia and winked at Laurie as she joked about being saved by ‘a knight in shining armour’. He seemed more scared than she was and he wasn’t a fan of her flirtatious jokes. They were making him uncomfortable.

  “Thanks for your help. See you soon.” She hung up, turning to Laurie. “They’re gonna be about an hour or so, is it okay if I hang here for a little while I wait?”

  Laurie felt sick because he had work to do, a lab to watch and he didn’t have time to babysit a stranger. What the fuck am I gonna do?

  Laurie wasn’t expecting to be babysitting a stranger on his night shift. He kept his ‘guest’ in the tiny staffroom next to the lab not concentrating on his job. He was too preoccupied with the raven-haired beauty next door. He didn’t need this right now, not with the amount of ridiculing he’d receive from his colleagues if he messed up any of the samples.

  The rain was still lashing; the whole situation was making his head pound. He checked his watch and couldn't help but sigh. It had been over an hour now and the support for her broken truck still hadn't arrived, it was long for the pick-up crew. Something wasn't adding up and the feeling of dread was creeping up on him.

  Laurie finished preparing the stash of blood samples and he assembled them into the analyser. He pressed the start button and watched the machine churn in sequence.

  I don't know what the fuck to do. I have my break now but she's fucking here and...I can’t talk to girls. I mean, she's pretty and she scares me. I can’t fucking stand here all night. My food’s in the staff room and I need to eat something!

  His stomach answered for him and he peeped around the staff room door to check on his guest. The room was in darkness, the moonlight poured in from outside. The rain patterns from the windows were reflecting off her skin. There were purple dots up along her arms; she was scratching at them viciously. He didn't need lamp light to know where they were birthed from. Laurie wasn't a prude when it came to narcotics, especially in college and high school. He'd smoked cannabis back in the day but he kept his hands clean when it came to needles, pills and powders.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  She pulled her sleeves away from scratching, turning to him. She clicked on a smile and Laurie noticed perspiration was looming on her forehead. Is s
he detoxing?

  “I’m gonna eat my dinner as I’m on my break now. Is that okay?”

  She smiled tiredly, nodding her head.

  “Can I switch the light on?”

  “No!” she snapped.

  “Why not?”

  “Sorry, I just prefer it with the lights off.”

  I bet you do. “Oh okay, no worries. It’s a little dark in here with the lights off, that’s all.” Laurie got his dinner from the fridge and sat next to her on the couch. His stomach was making all kinds of sounds but he was too hungry to care if she heard them. Well, you do care. Just fucking eat. “What's your name? I didn't ask before.”

  “H-Heather. What’s yours?”

  “Laurie. Short for Laurence.” He munched on the shards of shredded carrot, scraping the tub. “What do you do for a living, Heather?”

  “I’m-I’m a model.”

  No, you’re not. Not with those marked arms. “Oh, really? What type of modelling do you do?”

  “I’ve-I’ve done all-all sorts.” Her confidence had shrunk within a manner of seconds. “What do you do here?”

  “I'm a lab technician.” Laurie checked his watch as he stuffed potato salad into his mouth. “It's been over an hour since you called, and the support still hasn't come. Are you gonna give them another call? Something could be up. Feel free to use the phone if you want.”

  She looked apprehensive for a moment. “I’m going to wait for a little while longer. Road services can get delayed.”

  “I'm just saying with the rain and all, and you don't want to be stuck with me all night surely.”

  Heather shrunk on the couch. “Do you have a cigarette?”

  “I don’t smoke,” he said, staring at her.

  Oh-kay, I've had enough of this bullshit. There’s something shady going on here. Laurie was becoming increasingly impatient. “Is there something you're not telling me?”

  She didn’t respond.

  “You’re not in any trouble, are you?” he asked.

  Still no response.

  Laurie plonked his dinner on the coffee table in front of him. “There’s no broken-down truck, is there. You would have used the SOS phones on the road side. This place is in the middle of nowhere. And there’s no road services coming is there. So why are you really here?”

  “I need your help,” she whispered, there were tears in her eyes.

  “What do you mean?” Laurie asked. “I have friends who got into drugs at college so I know some stuff but I can't give you any money. That’ll just feed your problem.”

  “I don't want your money and this isn’t about drugs.”

  “Then what do you need?”

  “I need…you.”

  His heart leapt. “Me? What? Heather, I don't understand. Why do you need me?”

  “Do you think I’m beautiful?”

  “What?”

  “Kiss me…”

  “Heather...”

  “Shut up,” she whispered, pushing her mouth up against his.

  Her kiss stunned him, blowing Laurie’s mind, he didn’t understand what was going on. He hadn’t been charming to her; he hadn’t flirted or done anything remotely romantic to beckon that kind of behaviour. One thing he noticed was her desperation, the way she clung to him, her fingers clutching and pinching at his clothes. What was driving it?

  It took a while before he began to respond, his hands trembled, stinging when they touched her skin. Heather rolled her tongue into his mouth and he heard a moan curl from the back of his throat. She ripped at his lab jacket, pulling at his pants. Her kiss was suffocating, her body urgent and she pushed him against the couch. She was like some rampant ravaging animal.

  Laurie looked up at her, panting. “Hey, hey. What’s the rush? W-What are you doing?”

  “Something I need to do,” she stood up, sliding off her underwear. “Just relax. You'll enjoy it. I promise.”

  “But I don’t understand.” He tried to protest but it was a fight between pleasure and standards. He was losing majorly when she unzipped him, letting his erection free.

  Laurie gasped as she slid onto him, he had a hard-on the moment she clambered through the window. The lab jacket had been a huge help protecting his modesty. Heather was wet and tight. He watched her slide off her shirt and he got a closer glance at her arms. The bruises were hideous. She must have caught him inspecting the injection wounds and she grabbed his face so he was staring into her eyes.

  “Tell me I'm beautiful,” Heather said, her damp hair falling into his view.

  “What?” Laurie breathed.

  “Say it.”

  “But-”

  “Say it. Please.”

  “You’re, you're beautiful.” And I mean it.

  Heather began to move back and forth up and along his lower body, grinding her hips against his. Laurie grabbed the back of her head, pulling her into his kiss; her urgent lips were knocking him sideways. He hadn't felt intimacy quite like it before. He'd fooled around in college but when it came to this, all of that previous stuff was amateur level. It feels so good being inside her. The way she was holding onto him, kissing him, making love to him was astonishing. She really needs me...

  Pleasure bloomed in his belly and it ran up into Heather. Her blue eyes shined, piercing his heart. Her movements grew faster, more urgent, she never broke eye contact. She really is beautiful. Laurie’s fingers touched her soft cheek; cupping her skin as she rode him.

  “I wish I’d met you somewhere else,” she panted. “You seem like a nice guy.”

  He didn't understand the meaning behind her words, he could’ve questioned it but the pleasure was taking over and it was getting too much. He grabbed her hips as he squirmed beneath her. They both came in unison. Heather fell on top of him, her breathing in a heave as if she'd ran a mile.

  “Rest now,” Laurie whispered. “Lie back in my arms.”

  She did so, her head lolling on his chest. “I love you,” she uttered.

  Laurie didn't feel scared, maybe he should’ve been but something in his chest warmed to those words. He relished the way she nestled against him. “I… love you, too,” he whispered back.

  She began to cry softly. Laurie moved her hair from her fragile face.

  “Come here,” he whispered, holding her when she fell asleep, listening to the rainfall outside.

  By the morning, Laurie’s body ached as he rose from his sleep. He saw the blend of green and brown from the trees. He smelt the acid aroma from the rain wafting under his nose. The cold snap kiss of the wind shot him awake when he blinked from the couch in the staff room.

  His arms were empty when he looked around, there was no warm beautiful girl by his side. Laurie zipped up his pants and checked his coat. A flooding wave of embarrassment swamped him. The staff window was open, enough for a body to squeeze out and into the foliage.

  You should’ve known better, man. His car keys were missing, his wallet was empty... and so was his heart.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Winter 1979

  Heather was getting used to the coolness of the gel lathered on her belly during her examination. She didn't find the clinical smell of the room particularly nauseous anymore. She hated the sound of the heartbeat, yet this time, holding back the urge to cry when she heard its healthy rhythm was like walking a running race.

  At least this one is okay, she thought. Not like the others.

  They cleaned her up and moved her to the office for her consultation. She stroked her fingers across her belly. It had taken her a while, not in the most orthodox way but she knew the nerdy guy in the labs was an ideal candidate. He was cute, shy and seemed to have some common sense about him.

  “Is everything okay?” she asked.

  Peter was scribbling on the file. His lips bumbling and muttering as he wrote.

  She was getting impatient. “Peter...”

  “Yes?” he asked, looking up. “Oh, sorry Heather.”

  “My baby. How is he?”

/>   He hesitated. “He's fine.”

  “Why did you pause?”

  Peter pinched his nose, shaking his head. “I'm sorry. It's been a stressful week. Your baby is happy and strong and he's growing wonderfully.” He pushed the grey and black print across the table. “Take a peek for yourself.”

  Her fingers trembled at the sight of the photo. The curve of his face and his tiny nose, cradling his little head. She wondered what he’d look like as a fully grown man. “He’s beautiful,” she whispered.

  Peter smiled. “Just like his mother. Are you involved with the father?”

  Her heart skipped a beat before resuming its normal pace. “Oh, no. He’s long gone.”

  “Does he know about your pregnancy?”

  Her fingers trembled when she thought about that night. I wish I'd met you somewhere else. “No, he doesn’t. It’s for the better though. You won't hurt my baby, will you.” She let her words and meanings float in the air. “Promise me you won't.”

  Peter reached over, touching her hand. “Of course, we won't. He'll be in the best of hands and you can come and see him whenever you want.”

  “I’d rather not, especially when I’m trying to get clean.” Heather knew she couldn't raise him properly. She had to fight the urge of the black snake on a daily basis. She took a piece of paper from her pocket. “I have a name. What do you think?”

  Peter smiled as he read it. “It's ideal. It'll suit him perfectly. Let’s hope he has your stunning eyes too.”

  A smile danced across her mouth. “Sheila told me you’re going to be a dad,” she whispered, skimming his gold wedding ring.

  “Yes, I am. My first child, same as you. I’d love to have a boy but my wife is hoping for a girl. Typical, really.”

  “Maybe, one day if you have a girl, our children will cross paths and fall in love...”

  He laughed under his breath. “Maybe. Are there any questions you want to ask about your birth plan, Heather?”

  “You’ll be there when it happens, right?”