Lamp Black, Wolf Grey

by Paula Brackston

  14

  IT WAS A little after midnight when Laura crept out of the house and headed for Rhys’s croft. A cloudless night made the journey easier than it might have been, but still she needed her torch to pick her way along the hill path. She was sure she would not be missed. The evening had been an emotional one, where talk had turned to how life had been before Angus’s accident. Every memory was punctuated with a swig of wine, so that it was hard not to become teary as the hours passed. Steph had eventually headed for bed, promising that this time she would forgo the sleeping tablet that had become the norm for her. Laura and Dan had not been in bed more than five minutes before he was snoring gently. She knew him well enough to be certain he would sleep soundly until morning.

  All the same, she quickened her pace. She was dreading the scene that lay ahead and wanted it all done and over. Her breath clouded in the torchlight, and she could feel the cold seeping in through her gloves. At least the exertion of the uphill climb was keeping the rest of her warm. When she reached the cottage it looked almost cozy with its lamplight falling through the curtainless windows. She took a breath and raised her hand but the door was opened before she could knock. Rhys stepped out quickly and pulled her into a tight embrace.

  “Laura, my beautiful Laura, I knew you would not let me down.”

  She fought the impulse to push him away but wriggled free as soon as she could.

  “Let’s go inside,” she said. “It’s freezing out here.”

  “Of course, sorry, my love, I wasn’t thinking. It’s just so good to see you and have you to myself again at last.” He led her by the hand to the open fire. “Sit down, I’ll get you a drink.” He fetched wine while she peeled off her warm outdoor clothing and sat nervously on the edge of the sofa.

  “Here,” he said, passing her a large goblet of red wine. “Drink. It’ll warm you up.”

  Laura sipped reluctantly. She needed a clear head and had already drunk more than she should have before leaving the house.

  “Rhys,” she said hesitantly. “We need to talk.”

  “You are so right,” he said, nodding with enthusiasm.

  “I am?” He surely could have no idea what was on her mind.

  “I love you, Laura. We are meant to be together. It’s obvious. We can’t go on letting other people get in the way of that any longer. It’s time.”

  “Time? Time for what?” Laura felt her mouth drying and took another sip of wine.

  Rhys knelt in front of her and took her hands in his.

  “Time to tell everyone about us. Time for you to move in here with me. It’s what we both want. Let’s not put it off any longer.”

  “But…”

  “I know it’s hard for you, I understand. Of course you feel bad about Dan, but he’ll get over it. I told you, Laura, he’s already getting close to Steph. Leave them to it. Think about yourself for a change.”

  “Actually, I think I’ve been doing rather too much of that lately,” she said, pulling her hands away. “That’s what’s got us into this situation.”

  “Situation?” There was an edge to his voice now. “You and me, we are not a situation.”

  “Look, I’m sorry, Rhys. I’m making a mess of this.”

  “Don’t put yourself down. You know I don’t like you doing that.”

  “You don’t understand.” She stood up and stepped away from him a little. “Rhys, I came here tonight to tell you that it’s over. You and me. Us. It was wrong. It never should have happened in the first place. I can’t do this anymore.”

  “Of course you can’t. I wouldn’t expect you to, all this creeping around and feeling guilty. That’s why we’re going to be together properly. No more hiding.”

  “No!” She had not meant to shout, but she had to make him listen to what she was saying. “I can’t be with you, Rhys. Not anymore, not secretly, not living with you, not now and again, nothing. It stops now. I’m sorry, but that’s the way it has to be.”

  There was a moment’s silence. Laura began to stop feeling nervous and start feeling scared. She could sense the anger building in Rhys as he stared at her in disbelief.

  “You don’t mean that.” He spoke softly, but there was ice in his tone.

  “Yes, I do.”

  “You love me. We are destined to be together. This is not some whim, some passing fancy. This is what has to be,” he said, grabbing her hand. “Come upstairs.”

  “What?”

  “Come upstairs—there is something you should see. Something I need to explain.”

  Laura hesitated. Rhys’s bedroom was the last place she wanted to be right now, but what choice did she have?

  “Please,” he said, stroking her palm with his thumb.

  She followed him, cursing herself for not handling things better, anxious that he was stubbornly going to refuse to listen to her.

  Upstairs the little room was in darkness. Rhys lit a candle by the bed, then an old oil lamp. He carried the lamp over to the wall with the Indian hanging and beckoned Laura. She stepped a little closer. Rhys reached up and detached the fabric, removing it completely. The wall behind it was covered in pictures. He held up the lamp, and as the light fell on the images Laura stared openmouthed. There were drawings, paintings, pictures cut from books and magazines, computer printouts, and photocopies. They were all different in size and quality, but they were all of the same person: Merlin. Laura was aware of Rhys watching her, waiting for some reaction.

  “Wow,” she said feebly. “This is … impressive.”

  “Look.” He gestured at one image, then another. “This is Merlin when he was a boy. You don’t see many depictions of him at such a young age, and this is him at the cave near Carmarthen, and with Arthur, and working as a shaman.”

  “I never realized you were quite such a fan.” Laura regretted the flippancy of her remark the second she had made it.

  “Fan! I am not a fan. For pity’s sake, Laura, can’t you see?” He stood close to one of the larger images, one that made Laura long for Merlin with all her heart. “Open your eyes,” Rhys told her. “What do you see?”

  “You look very alike,” she said.

  “Not just alike. The same. The same!” In the lamplight his eyes glinted and his face was animated. “I have known for so long. I’ve studied him for years, and that’s when I began to realize the connection. That’s why I came to live here, where he was. I’ve come home. Do you see that now? And look, there’s something else.” He grabbed her hand again and pulled her to the wall. “Look at her.”

  Laura looked and saw a delicate watercolor print of Megan.

  “Don’t you recognize yourself?” he asked.

  “Rhys, that is not me.”

  “But it is!”

  “No, she looks like me, but she is somebody else.”

  “I know it’s hard for you to take in, but you have to trust me, Laura. I know. Merlin has been reborn in me, and Megan, the love of his life who he lost so tragically—she has been reborn in you.”

  “Rhys…” Now Laura was really frightened. If she had clung to any thought that she might have been wrong about Rhys she let it go now. He was clearly seriously deluded. Dangerously so, she believed. How could she ever reason with such a person?

  “Don’t worry, my beautiful Laura, in time you will come to accept what is true. You must. We don’t have a choice in these things. We are the way Merlin and Megan will be reunited and have the family they longed for.”

  Laura shook her head. “Rhys, you know I can’t conceive. You know that.”

  “There are other ways to acquire children.”

  “Acquire! What are you talking about—you can’t go out and buy babies! Listen to yourself, Rhys. You must know what you say is impossible.”

  “No, it isn’t! I admit when you told me you couldn’t get pregnant I was thrown. Here was my Megan, but how could we have a child together? And then the boys came.”

  “The boys?”

  “William and Hamish. Two fine
boys. We can raise them as our own. Soon they will forget they ever had other parents before us. We can live here and teach them everything they need to know.”

  Under the pulsing light his features had taken on a fierceness that now, in his maniacal enthusiasm, looked truly terrifying. Laura tried to stay calm.

  “Rhys, William and Hamish belong to Steph and Angus. Not to us.”

  “But they could!”

  “No! This is madness. A fantasy.”

  “I can do this for you, Megan, for us.”

  “My name is Laura! And I don’t want you to do anything for me!” She turned and ran toward the stairs, but he darted across the room and blocked her way.

  “You have to have courage, my love. I will do what needs to be done. Don’t worry. Then we can all be together,” he said as he dropped down the stairs, slamming shut the door at the bottom.

  Laura flung herself against it as she heard him push the bolt home.

  “Rhys! Let me out! What are you going to do? Rhys!” she screamed, as she hammered on the unyielding wood. “Let me out!”

  “Be patient, my love,” he said.

  Laura heard the front door open and close and then there was silence. She kicked frantically at the door in front of her, but it did not give at all. She went back up the stairs, her mind in turmoil, terrified at what Rhys might be planning, at a loss to see what she could do to prevent it. He had taken the oil lamp with him so that the only light in the bedroom came from the solitary candle by the bed. She picked it up and made her way slowly around the room, searching for a way out. The window was tiny, and locked. Had he planned to trap her in here all along? She kicked at the small panes, but the frame was tough hardwood, and there was no way she was going to be able to break it—or squeeze out, even if she succeeded. The thought of what Rhys might be planning spurred her on. She put down the candle and picked up the bedside cabinet. She manhandled it to the window then heaved it at the glass with all her strength. One of the panes cracked, but beyond that nothing. It was futile. She picked up the candle again, near despair, clinging to the tiny light as to the small hope that Rhys was not going to do anything terrible. He said he would do what needed to be done to get the boys. What could that mean? Was he going to snatch them from their beds? They weren’t babies—he couldn’t just carry them away. And even if he did, Steph would just call the police and get them back. A new thought made her feel sick. What if there were no Steph? She searched her memory. Had she ever told Rhys that she and Dan were down as the boys’ potential guardians? Had she mentioned that if anything happened to Steph and Angus they would have legal custody of the children? With cold dread swamping her she remembered that she had told him. She had shown him a way he could indeed “acquire” children. But to do that he would have to get rid of Angus, which, after all, hadn’t he already tried? And perhaps succeeded? And now he would have to kill Steph. And Dan, if his plan were to be properly carried through.

  “Oh my God,” Laura shouted aloud. “Help me! Somebody! Help me!” she screamed, and the breath from her cries blew out the candle. “No!” But it was too late. She was in darkness, save for the moonlight from the now half-blocked window. She felt herself beginning to panic. Here she was, locked in a dark room while a madman went to kill her husband and her best friend believing he was doing it for her. “Stay calm, Laura,” she told herself. “Your eyes will get used to the dark, then you will be able to see.” She waited and, sure enough, dim shapes in the room began to edge into focus. And the most striking of these was the girl who now stood in front of her. Laura let out a scream and staggered backward.

  “Do not be afraid,” said the girl softly.

  “Megan?” Laura’s mind was reeling.

  “Come,” she said. “Follow me.”

  Laura stepped cautiously after her, feeling her way around the room. Megan descended the stairs to the door. She lifted the latch and opened it as if it had never been locked. Laura followed her into the kitchen, from where she could see the front door was open. She turned back to thank Megan, but she had vanished. Laura wanted to call her back, to talk to her, but there was no time. She blundered over to where she had left her things and groped for her torch.

  “Yes!” she said as she found it. She considered her coat for a moment, then decided it would slow her down, and ran out into the night.

  As she ran she thanked God for her sturdy boots, the dry ground, and the pools of moonlight falling on the path. Small clouds were snagging on the mountaintops now, but there was still a fair amount of natural light to back up the narrow beam of her torch. She ran as fast as she dared, but the short journey seemed to take an age, as if she were running in a dream, on leaden legs. At least the downhill slope meant she did not have to pause for breath but could charge on, not allowing herself to think about what she was going to find when she reached Penlan. Nor what she would be able to do about it. Nothing in her wildest imaginings could have prepared her for the sight that awaited her once she turned the last bend before the house. Smoke. Lots of it. Billowing up from Penlan.

  “No!” she screamed, running on, heart pounding, hurling herself down the hillside. As she got nearer she could hear the fire, a low, terrifying rumble like a gathering avalanche. She could see figures outside the house. She tried to make out who they were, and how many. Only three. One tall, and two small. Rhys and the boys. Where were Dan and Steph?

  “Rhys!” she bellowed as she raced into the yard. “Where are they? What have you done?”

  “It’s all right! I’ve got the boys out!” He held on to the terrified children who were too shocked to do more than cling to him and stare at the burning house.

  “We’ve got to get the others out!” Laura ran toward the door. Rhys sprinted forward and intercepted her, grabbing hold of her shoulders and pulling her away.

  “You can’t go in there, Laura.”

  “Let me go, you madman!”

  He tightened his grip and started to shout at her, but the sound of breaking glass distracted them both. Looking up Laura saw Steph at the little bedroom window, coughing and gasping as she used a small chair to break through the frame and glass.

  “Mummy!” William screamed. Hamish started to cry loudly.

  “The porch roof, Steph!” Laura shouted to her, thanking God Steph had not taken her usual sleeping tablet. “Lower yourself onto the roof!”

  Steph did as she was told, holding on to the tough twists of the honeysuckle. Somewhere in the distance another noise could be heard. Laura looked down the valley and saw small lights coming up across the meadows. The lights of a quad bike. Rhys saw them, too. Laura seized her moment and wrenched herself free and dived into the house. She heard Rhys curse and blunder after her. The heart of the fire must have been in the kitchen, for though the sitting room was filling with smoke, there were no flames. Laura raced to the stairs, hoping that the thick door would have slowed down the progress of the deadly fumes.

  “Stop, Laura!”

  Rhys had caught up with her and grabbed her around the waist.

  “No! Get off me you bastard!” She beat at him with her torch as she used the other hand to pull open the door. Something at the top of the stairs glinted in the light from the small window. A pair of eyes. Golden, ancient eyes. The smoke cleared for a second to reveal the enormous wolf in the instant that it sprang. It leaped over Laura’s head and landed fully on top of Rhys. She heard him scream as she dragged herself on up the stairs.

  “Dan!” She coughed as she hammered on his door. She felt for the latch in the smoky darkness. A piece of wood had been used to jam it. She worked at it frantically until at last the door sprang open. Inside, the bedroom was dense with choking smoke. Dan lay on the bed, horribly still. Laura shook him, trying to wake him, but he had breathed in too much smoke. She was having difficulty breathing herself now, spluttering and gagging as she heaved Dan off the bed. At least near the floor there were still a few inches of breathable air. She tried to drag him toward the stairs, but
he was far too heavy. Her muscles burned with the effort, but still she could only move him an inch at a time. Too slow. Much too slow. Tears of fear and frustration began to mingle with the soot on her face.

  “Merlin!” she wailed. “Help us!”

  For a few seconds nothing happened.

  “I won’t leave him!” she screamed. “I will not. Do you hear me?”

  There was still no sound or sign of Merlin. Laura thought that she and Dan would die together as the house burned around them. Then, imperceptibly at first, a breeze began to stir the smoke. The air moved more quickly, until there was a strong wind howling through the room, forcing the smoke out and clean air in. Laura tried to move Dan again.

  “Dan, wake up! Come on!” She shook him again. This time he groaned in response. “Yes! That’s it, come on.”

  As the fresh air reached his lungs Dan coughed and retched, fighting for breath. At least he was now conscious enough for Laura to be able to help him to his feet. Together they all but fell down the stairs, which, had they not been stone, might not have been standing.

  As they staggered into the sitting room Laura saw a figure coming toward them. For a moment she feared it was Rhys.

  “Come on there.” Glyn’s reedy voice cut through the smoke. “Let’s ’ave you out of this place!” He ducked under Dan’s arm to take some of his weight, and the three of them charged for the door, the terrifying sound of tumbling timber lending wings to their heels.

  Once in the yard Laura and Glyn laid Dan gently down on the grassy cobbles. Steph and the boys hurried over to them.

  “Is he OK?” Steph asked, clutching Hamish with his arms wrapped around her neck, William hanging on to her free hand.

  Laura nodded as she coughed, unable to find enough air to speak.

  “I saw the smoke,” Glyn said. “The fire brigade are on their way.”

  Laura scanned the yard, but there was no sign of Rhys.

  “Where is he?” she demanded of Glyn. “Where is Rhys?”