by Brynn Hale
I let the words settle into me. Every man I’d been with was always telling me what I could do to him and blaming me for his short comings—and quick comings. Not once had they told me how much they wanted me. They just did what they had to do to get in and get off.
I stop the tears, but my body rocks a hiccup.
“Shit. Hey, hey, I’ll stop telling you those things, if you don’t want to hear them.” His warm arms wrap around me and he guides me to sit on the bed edge. “And if this is too much or not right for you, then just say so. Baby, I want this, but I want you to be happy more.”
There are times in our lives we’re faced with a choice. One of my biggest from the past is across the hall in that second-hand crib and she’s happy. She’s truly happy. What makes me think that I’m allowed the same in the present.
I slip a hand behind his neck and I fall back to the bed, tugging him with me. “Please. Make love to me, Leif.”
The warmth of his hand on my double-D breast sends a lightning bolt straight to my core. I swear I’m dripping. His lips close around one of the nipples and he sucks first softly.
“Harder.”
He sucks harder.
“Yes. Oh, God.”
His other hand travels down my stomach. “Baby, just tell me what’s feeling good and if there’s something I can do better or different, you tell me. Tell me all of it.”
His hand slips into the waist of my panties. The tip of a long finger brushes my clit and I gasp. My body is on fire, the match struck by this caring man. A finger slides between the wet, puffy lips, and slowly inside of me. He repeats the motion, slowly. Clit and inside. Clit. Down. Inside. Clit…
I arch my back as a burst of energy radiates out of my stomach. Every muscle tenses in my body, contracting in a way I’ve never felt.
“Can you suck on my clit?”
“I can, but why don’t you tell me to do it?”
I grasp his head and make him look me in the eye. “Suck on my clit, Leif.”
Superman doesn’t move as fast. My panties are down my legs and his tongue laps up my center, dipping briefly into my body, almost slurping like he can’t get enough.
“Oh, fuck yes. That’s sweet, Rissa.”
His finger slips back inside me as his tongue laves over my clit. I buck my hips and on the upward thrust his lips latch on and he doesn’t let go.
I hold his head to me. “Don’t stop. Yes. I think I’m close. God, so fucking…” He reaches up with his other hand and his fingers pinch my nipple and my body explodes deep inside.
“Oh, fuck!” I pulse everywhere and I can feel my pussy clench around his finger as he continues his actions. “Oh, God…” The waves keep coming and I have to grab and pillow and cover my face so I can scream his name. “Leif!”
He chuckles against my body and I feel him sliding up to look at me. I keep the pillow over my face. I don’t know what to say to him or how to say it.
He’s like that tattooed lion on his chest—an animal. And I liked it.
He tugs the pillow and I hold it firmly.
“Rissa…hey, I need to see you.”
I drag the pillow to my chest as I heave deeply.
“How are you feeling?” His fingers thread into my hair and behind my neck.
“I’m…grood.”
“Grood?” His scorching and self-satisfied smile starts pre-heating my body again.
“I mean, good…great.”
“I just want to be clear, baby. Am I correct in believing that was your first orgasm?”
I nod. “Fuck, yes.”
“You never got yourself off?”
I shook my head. “Just thought that if I couldn’t with a man, that I couldn’t.”
“So…what do you want now?”
I reach down and rock my hand along his cock. “You have to go slow. I’m not sure you saw, but I had to have a Caesarean-section because Riley was breach.”
His face hits the recognition phase. “Oh, so you’re…”
“Tight as the day I had sex for the first time.”
“Okay.”
“But let’s try this.”
“Have some lube?”
I pull it out of the nightstand.
He suits up and then slathers up. “Okay, baby, I know it’s going to feel like a lot, but I promise, it’ll start to feel good.”
His massive cock head presses against me. Slick. Cool. I close my eyes to just feel and when he slides through the puffy tissues, I relax my legs a little. I like it. I love how full I feel. The pressure in my body. The moment in my soul. The gravity in my heart. It’s all there.
“More please,” I say on a moan.
Leif’s lips hit mine and his tongue frantically searches for mine. I meet him, dancing and dipping. “Fuck, Rissa. You’re not just tight, you’re hot. Boiling inside, baby.”
Six
Leif
I try to keep control, but I’m going to lose it quickly. I give her what I think is about six inches before stopping. “More?”
“Fuck, yes!” Her hands grasp my shoulders and she wraps her long legs around my ass. Her toned thighs contract and she uses those legs to drag me deeper into her.
“Baby, slowly, I don’t want to hurt you.”
“God, you won’t…” She stills, her gaze meets mine. “Leif, I know you won’t.”
I start thrusting, slowly driving deeper with each subsequent plunge. Finally, I hit rock bottom, my nuts slapping her ass. “I’m all the way in.”
“In my throat!” She giggles and I cover her mouth with mine, so Riley doesn’t wake up.
I plant my knees and press up so I’m looking down on her.
“Faster…” she demands.
I obey every word from her mouth. It’s all for her.
“Harder,” she moans, writhing under me.
“You sure?”
She smiles. “Give it to me, Leif.” Her hand slides down my cheek, and I kiss her fingers as they pass by. “Give it all to me. I’m ready for everything you have.”
I swallow back what I’m feeling, she wanted one night. If it’s only one night, it’s going to be one fucking amazing night.
I go harder and deeper, listening to her body. “Baby, play with your clit.” Then I remember what she said. “Rub it lightly, tease it, however it feels good to you.”
She reaches between us and her eyes grow wide. “It’s so sensitive.”
“If it feels good, keep doing it.”
I settle her thighs in the crooks of my arms and drive deeper, a little slower, a little faster, watching and waiting. All the time, ignoring how my nuts are buzzing and my gut is like a fist ready to punch through my dick.
And then I see her eyes widen and feel how her pussy starts to quiver. Pulling me deeper, asking me to lose control with her.
“Leif…” My name is a breath of life from her mouth to my ears.
“That’s it. God, you’re so fucking beautiful. Come for me, Marissa. Come on that cock…hard, baby.”
She clenches down on me and her body rocks with waves. Her glove of a pussy grips me until I’m seeing stars while my cock fills the condom. I collapse on her body, her soft meeting my hard.
Heaven.
I wake up to her sucking on my cock, then Rissa slips a condom on me and rides me. Grinding her pretty little clit in between my cock and stomach, her pussy starting to do that fantastic quiver that I know is precursor to her detonation. And then she leans down and sucks my nipple. No woman’s ever done that and for some reason, it’s like my fucking cock kryptonite. I detonate with little warning and force myself to keep going until she’s throwing her head back and screaming my name.
As she collapses to my chest, I look over at the clock. 6:15 a.m. Probably okay if we wake up Riley and I have to get going to meet the guys at the shop at seven, but still…
“You have to work today?” she asks, tracing her fingers over my chest in a lazy pattern, my cock still inside of her. I don’t want to pull out. I like th
is.
“Yeah. Probably should get up and going.”
I know what she said, but I also know that she woke me up this morning and got me going again. It wasn’t technically a one-night stand to me because I’d be gone if it was. It was a one-night and is an early-morning stand. We’ve crossed over and I’m not going back.
After she rolls off of me, I stand and clean up in the hallway bathroom. I hear Riley making sounds, so I pull on my pants and go into her bedroom. She startles when she sees me, but soon reaches out. I lift her and meet Rissa at the door.
Rissa reaches out, but Riley shakes her head at her mother. “Oh, really? You like him better than me? Okay, princess. I see how it is.” Rissa flips her hair as she turns quickly, and I nuzzle into Riley.
“She’ll be okay. She likes me, too.”
“What did you say?” Rissa asks, turning back to me.
“Nothing.”
She gives me a skeptical glower but turns and walks the hallway to the kitchen. “Breakfast? Coffee?”
“Coffee would be great.” I slip Riley into her highchair seat as she rubs her eyes to clear sleep. I grab her sippy cup from the fridge. If there was something I learned as a parent, it was always have one ready. She starts drinking the milk like she’s been in the desert for days.
I examine the brochures on the fridge. “You going to college or wanting to?”
“Well, sure, I want to, but it takes time and money. Two things I’m sorely lacking these days.”
My phone buzzes on the coffee table. I take the four steps to get it as that’s all it takes to get there from the kitchen.
Vivian: Put the envelope in your night drop at your biz. If you could have it back this afternoon, we’d really appreciate it.
She hands me a cup of coffee. “Something wrong? Dillon okay?”
It warms my chest to know she cares, but telling her this is sitting hard in my stomach. Coffee tastes bitter, but it’s not the coffee.
“I need to tell you something.”
“Okay. Let me get Riley her breakfast and we’ll talk.”
I lean against the doorway and watch how she dotes on her daughter. Half a banana cut into small pieces. Cheerios and a little milk in a tiny bowl that suctions to the plastic highchair table. And Riley sets to feeding herself. She smiles at me, milk dribbling down her tiny little chin.
“What’s up?” Rissa leans her hip against the small oven.
“You know Vivian Coates and Jill—”
“Jillyn Kincaid? Yeah, I know them. They come into Graffiti Street occasionally. Jillyn’s constantly trying to get me to go to Graffiti Street Gym to give her personal training a try, but she scares me a little. Intense.”
“Right. Exactly. So about two months ago, I ran into them when I was doing a job in Vegas. I knew Jillyn from the Graffiti Street Gym, too, and one thing led to another and…”
Her face pales, that blush of tan gone. “You slept with…one or both?”
“I don’t want to get into the specifics, but technically, we all slept…”—I blow out a long breath—“Together. A month ago, they told me that Vivian’s pregnant. And it’s mine.”
“Did you know it could happen?” She shakes her head. “I mean, did you try to prevent it from happening?”
“No. I wasn’t thinking. I didn’t know they were…” I raise my eyebrows. “Bisexual or lesbians or whatever. Plus, they never asked me to wear a condom.”
“How did you not know? And do you just not wear one, if no one says anything.” She tips her head and her brows rise higher than mine, her voice tight.
“I figured they were on the pill.” I don’t look at her. I’m a little scared to.
She narrows her eyes. “But you didn’t ask?”
It’s making me uncomfortable to talk about how my moment of recklessness affected so many lives. Even if they’re excited about it, I’m not so sure I am.
“Vivian’s pregnant and when they first told me I said I’d sign over my parental rights. But now…”
“Now?”
“I don’t know. They’d be great parents, but can I…”
“Abandon the baby?” Her eyes laser into me. I can see how this is a familiar story to her.
“But there are two of them and they want this baby.”
“The real question is, do you want the baby, Leif?”
Up until last night I was still thinking I’d sign the form and move on with my life, but now, looking at Rissa and Riley and knowing that a piece of me would be living just miles away…
Moving on isn’t always that easy…
Rissa
“Leif, do you want to be a part of the baby’s life?” I ask him again.
“Do you want more kids, Rissa?”
“I don’t know, but I do know that I don’t want another guy who is willing to abandon his child. I already had one of those.” I shimmy past him. “Leif, I was wavering, but that one night—”
“And this morning stand, Rissa.” He reaches out to me, but I shake my head.
“It’s all it can be. I need to look out for Riley.” I rush to the bedroom and I’m back in seconds with his T-shirt. “I need you to go and I don’t think I can see you again for a while.”
“I want to be honest with you. I want you to be happy.” He pulls the shirt over his head and I don’t look. I can’t. His perfection in my mind was a lie. It’s always a lie.
“Then can you stay away from Graffiti for a little while, or at least not Wednesday to Sunday? Maybe I can just get back to thinking of you as a customer and not…”
He steps toward me and I back up with a raised hand. “Think of me as what, Ris?”
I point to the door. “Please, just go.”
“All right. I’ll stay away from Graffiti Street for a while and I’m sorry for disappointing you. You have my number, if you need me, please call me. I’ll always be here for you.” His lips brush my cheek and I crave to turn into them. To let them caress away my fears. Sweep away what he’s just told me.
But I can’t.
And the door closes.
I walk to the kitchen and Riley giggles as she licks a Cheerio off the highchair table.
Tears stream my face.
The dam broken.
My soul crushed.
My heart…shattered.
The afternoon is gorgeous. Seventy-five and partly sunny, but I feel like I’ve got a storm cloud over me. I decide to take Riley to the park, but the one near us isn’t great. I saw a needle on a bench last week and that cemented that we wouldn’t be back. “Isn’t great” is an understatement. I look up a few parks and find one near Zale’s house. I remember he’s lived in the same neighborhood since he was a baby, so I figure it can’t be too bad. He’s turned out okay and I know he wouldn’t live somewhere that would put Roxie and Rebel in danger.
I’m pushing Riley buckled into a safety swing and she’s screaming happily. I smile. But the sounds of two kids arguing gets Riley’s attention. I look around and see a girl and boy under the slide.
“No, I like someone else!” the girl exclaims. “You’re just my friend.”
I stop Riley and lift her out. “Hey…everything okay?” I look closer. “Dillon?”
“I know you.” He stands. “You work for my dad.”
The young girl stands. I remember her from the wedding, but I don’t know her.
“I do. I’m Marissa, but you can call me Rissa.”
“Rissa, this is Skye.”
“I’m his friend. Not his girlfriend.”
He rolls his eyes. “Whatever.”
Skye runs off to a group of girls. “You okay, Dillon?”
“Yeah. She says she likes someone else, but maybe someday she’ll like me. I just want her to be happy.”
Leif’s words ghost back to me. I want to be honest with you. I want you to be happy.
“I’ll be waiting for her.” He runs off and I can’t breathe.
Leif
I about ran my team into the ground
today. We got more done than needed so I gave them tomorrow morning off. I was just trying to keep my mind off of… everything. I texted Hemi and he agreed to join me at Graffiti Street. She had the night off, so I figured it was safe. And it was time to handle the Skye issue. Tactfully. Hopefully. I still couldn’t touch the piece of paper that stared at me from the console. One of my guys had seen it and his eyes widened. I covered it with my jacket.
My office manager called out for me before I left, and she handed me the manila envelope that says “DRETH” in the return address. My ex-wife’s law partnership. Great.
Zale’s behind the counter. I take a seat in the corner in a swivel chair and he seems confused.
“What’s up Valore?” he calls out and I walk to the counter and he has my iced tea waiting. I probably don’t need the caffeine with how my heart’s been beating fast today.
“You have someone else coming in tonight?” I ask, eating a handful of the cup of bar mix he set in front of me.
“Yeah, Snake’ll be here soon and I just hired another bartender today. Giving her a trial tonight.”
“Cool. I’m meeting Hemi for a drink and…talk.”
“About Rissa?”
“Did she tell you?”
He nods. “That you were taking care of Riley? Yeah. But I saw the tape from Saturday night. Don’t have to be able to read lips to know what was happening. I thought the camera might melt, dude.”
I let go of a chuckle. “I’m going to be a gentleman and not say anything.”
A hand grasps my shoulder. “Hey, Valore.”
“Hemi. I got us chairs in the back.” His head rears back. “Oh…it’s a chair kinda conversation. I’m a little scared.”
I mumble walking away. “Maybe I should be.” I have martial arts skills, but Hemi is street smart. And as my Muay Thai Kru has said over and over, “Don’t think that your skills can be used against brains, only brawn.” And my Taekwondo Sahyun said, “It wasn’t smart to think with your muscles, only your brain.” We’d find out what Hemi wanted to fight with.