Spinning Out Of Control

by Vickie McDonough

  The minister lifted his hand toward the crowd. “Folks, I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Micah Walsh.”

  Instantly, Ben was on his feet and moving toward them. “Welcome to the family, Amy.” He gave her a quick hug and a peck on the cheek, then backed up, his ears a bright red.

  Tierney was at her side, embracing Amy in a warm hug. “I knew he loved you,” she whispered.

  “How?”

  “It was written all over his face. I’m glad his mind and heart finally figured it out.” Tierney leaned back, smiling.

  “Me, too.”

  Jonah stood on the outskirts of the group, next to Sookie, who held Missy. Amy slipped from Micah’s side and past Ben to stand in front of the black couple. “Thank you so much for bringing the lovely flowers. I’m sorry that my delay messed up your surprise. Still, your kindness means a lot.”

  “It weren’t nothing.” Sookie hugged Missy and stared at the floor.

  Jonah beamed his gap-toothed smile at her. “I knowed the day I set eyes on you that the Good Lawd had something mighty special planned for you.”

  “How did you know?”

  He patted his chest. “I just knew in here.”

  Micah stepped beside Amy and pulled her against his side. “I’m hungry, wife. You ready to go eat?”

  Amy wasn’t certain she could eat a bite after all the day’s excitement, but she nodded. She felt a tug on her skirt and looked down.

  “Can I call you Mama now?” Beth looked at her with hopeful brown eyes.

  Amy glanced at Micah. His eyes dulled for a moment then sparked back to life. “That would be fine, Punkin.” He reached down and lifted Beth in his arms. “You hungry?”

  His daughter nodded. “Can I have a store-bought pickle?”

  Micah grinned and looked at Amy. “Ever heard of a child who’d rather have a pickle than candy?”

  Amy smiled. It warmed her heart that Micah agreed to let Beth call her Mama. Imagine, in one day she’d gone from being a kidnapped victim to a wife and mother. The Lord sure worked in mysterious ways.

  Nineteen

  Amy crossed the cabin and stood close to Micah. She twisted her hands together, her face a mixture of fear and anger. “When I agreed to marry you, you promised not to go off and leave us.”

  Micah glanced at Sookie’s back. She sat at the table, rolling out biscuits. “Let’s take this discussion outside.”

  With Missy on her hip, Amy stormed out the open cabin door, stomped down the porch steps, and marched along the path that led to the creek. He followed, wishing he knew what to say to calm her. She’d finally confessed to him how her father left her mother and her without food or support for weeks and months at a time. In spite of Amy becoming a Christian, she still feared being deserted.

  But with Ben down sick, that left only him to see the latest group of slaves across the border. He didn’t want to leave her any more than she wanted him to, but he needed to help the slaves move on to the next safe house.

  So far, in spite of them both confessing their love, their marriage had remained chaste—and it would until he could finish the new cabin he was building for Sookie. If he didn’t have to leave, he probably could have completed the new cabin in a day or two. Jonah was helping, but the old man moved slower than a caterpillar. Micah had prayed for patience, but he was a twenty-four-year-old newlywed who longed to be with his wife.

  Amy stopped so fast, he nearly barreled in to her. She spun around. “You promised.”

  He held up his hands in defense. “No, I never promised I wouldn’t have to leave. That’s unreasonable. But I do understand your fears. I can’t promise I won’t ever have to go away, but I can promise that I’ll always return.”

  Amy studied him, as if to see if he was being truthful. He ran the back of his hand down her soft cheek, and she closed her eyes and leaned into his caress.

  “I don’t want you to go, Micah.”

  “I know, but I’ll only be gone a day. You can be assured I will hurry home.”

  A bird flittered in the trees overhead, chirping a cheerful tune. The water rippled along in the creek. The sun stretched its fingers through the trees and touched Amy’s cheeks. Missy bounced in her arms, oblivious to the tension surrounding them. Love for his family swelled in Micah’s chest.

  The baby opened her mouth and gave Amy a slobbery kiss. His wife’s lips lifted in a reluctant grin.

  “I think Missy has the right idea.” Before Amy could object, he swooped down and planted a kiss on her soft lips. He started to pull back, but Amy tugged on his shirt, pulling him to her again. Joy burst within him, and he honored his wife’s wishes, kissing her until his breath was ragged. A sharp tug on his ear brought him back to his senses. “Ow! You little scamp.” He reached for Missy and tossed her in the air.

  Amy smiled, though her eyes still looked sad.

  “How could I not hurry back when I have so many women here, longing to kiss me?”

  His wife laughed for real this time, making his heart sing. “Besides, I have a cabin to finish so I can sleep in my own bed again.”

  Amy’s eyes widened, and her cheeks turned scarlet. Micah chuckled, put his arm around her, and headed back to the cabin.

  ❧

  Tears stung Amy’s eyes, and she fought them back so she could see through the darkness. The wagon Micah was driving disappeared down the road into the black night. Though it looked empty, except for some wooden crates in the back, she knew the wagon carried a precious cargo of two young black men who’d run away from their cruel slave master. She could still hear the soft jingle of the harness and creak of the wagon, but even that was fading against the backdrop of night creatures. She knew the importance of Micah’s mission but dreaded seeing him leave.

  Her fears were irrational—she knew that. But they still assaulted her. If Ben hadn’t taken ill from all the unusual food he’d eaten at the town celebration, he’d be taking the runaways instead of Micah. In her heart, she knew what they were doing was honorable, but she was still afraid.

  She yawned, bone tired after working hard and being upset with Micah all day. Somewhere nearby she heard a creature’s feral growl and darted back inside the cabin and closed the door, leaning against it.

  The tears came in earnest then. Why did he have to leave her? They weren’t even a true man and wife yet. She never thought she’d want to give herself fully to a man, until she fell in love and married Micah. Now she might never have the chance.

  Helping runaways was dangerous work. Micah had promised they would cease the work as soon as someone else in the area could take over. With a wife and young children, he didn’t need to be putting his life in danger.

  Amy crossed the room and dropped down in one of the rockers. The faint light from the lone lantern cast eerie shadows on the walls. She wished Jonah were here to quote her some scriptures and make her feel better. As a new believer, she had not yet committed many Bible verses to memory.

  Her thoughts drifted back to her childhood. The only two times in her whole life that she’d been truly happy were when her mother’s sister had sent money and she and her mother had gone to visit Kathryn’s family in Richmond. If only they had stayed there, like Kathryn’s mother had begged them to. But Amy’s mother wouldn’t abandon her husband, even if he had abandoned her.

  Tears dripped down Amy’s cheeks. Knowing Micah wasn’t upstairs left her with an ache in her heart. She’d never known such longing. He’d only been gone a few minutes, and she craved to be held secure in his strong arms and to feel the warmth of his lips on hers. If she’d ever doubted that she loved Micah, she was now certain.

  But he’d left her—just like her father.

  Still, he hadn’t left without provision. Just this morning he’d shot and plucked a turkey. They had enjoyed the delicious meat at dinner. And she had her garden, and she wasn’t alone. Ben was already on the mend, though not up to traveling yet. She also had Jonah, Sookie, and the children to keep her company.

 
; Yes, Micah had left, but he’d be back. His final kiss had branded her heart and proved where his affections lay.

  But the months of being fatherless and having to beg for food were weeds with roots that ran deep.

  Amy leaned over with her face in her hands. “Oh, God! Help me.”

  She cried until she felt she had no more tears. What it came down to was trust. She had to choose to trust God and trust Micah. It was unreasonable to expect her husband to be home every night. Situations were bound to arise when he would have to be away for a time.

  As Amy prayed for herself and Micah, a warm calm relaxed her body. She leaned back in the rocker and stared at the ceiling.

  “Okay, I give up. I will trust that Micah will be true to his word and will return tomorrow eve. Lord, help me cast aside the negative thoughts that only cause me turmoil. I’m safe here. Father is gone and can no longer harm me. And Micah isn’t Father.

  “Thank you for sending Tierney and Sean to help me learn that there are good men in this world. Please watch over Micah and bring him home safe.”

  She yawned and pushed up from the chair, feeling as if she’d been in a war. In the bedroom, she silently slipped under the sheets. Though she still missed Micah, her heart was at peace. She closed her eyes, dreaming of what it would be like to be in her husband’s arms.

  Twenty

  Lightning flashed in the sky, momentarily illuminating the trail. Micah knew he should have taken Luther Cameron up on his offer to stay the night, but he’d promised Amy he’d be home tonight—and he knew the importance of keeping that promise. He hoped and prayed his delay wouldn’t cause her undue worry. She hadn’t wanted him to leave, but he had had no choice in the matter.

  The unshed tears shimmering in her big brown eyes had made his heart ache. Was he doomed to always disappoint his wife? He’d only been married a few days and already he’d made Amy cry.

  Micah shook his head, not willing to give in to those kinds of thoughts. He must fight the unseen enemy that would weigh him down and make him feel defeated. “Lord, please don’t let this separation affect my new relationship with Amy. Take her fears away and heal her.”

  Huge drops of rain pelted his clothing, soaking him in seconds. Thunder boomed. The horses snorted and jerked in their harness, spooked by the storm. Micah cooed to them and hunkered down, wishing he had something to keep him dry. He’d not brought along a covering since it was summer and the nights warm.

  Another bolt of lightning zigzagged above him. As miserable as he was, he couldn’t help admiring the beauty of God’s handiwork. He heard a thud in the back of the wagon, quickly followed by another. When a pea-sized piece of hail bounced off his arm, Micah knew he had to find cover fast. Lightning flashed again, and he noticed a grove of trees ahead. Trees and lightning were a bad mix, but if the hail got any bigger, he’d be in real trouble.

  Wind whipped his face, and he urged the team forward. The hail increased to acorn size just as he pulled under the trees. “Thank You, Lord, for Your protection.”

  Micah reached for the brake and felt the hair on his arms rise. He looked up as the air around him sizzled. A horrendous boom exploded on his right, and suddenly he was flying through the air.

  ❧

  Amy stretched and kicked off the bedcovers. The rooster crowed, and she bolted upright. Once again she’d slept past daybreak. Sookie’s place beside her was empty, but both Beth and Missy were still asleep.

  Amy hurried out of the bedroom and found Sookie slicing a loaf of cornmeal mush. Already bacon fat sizzled in the cast-iron pan, awaiting the mush. When Sookie looked up and shook her head, Amy’s heart dropped to her feet.

  She opened the front door and stared out. Where was Micah? It had been three days since his team of horses had returned alone, towing the wagon. Ben had searched almost constantly since then, but he had seen no sign of his brother.

  A deep sense of abandonment threatened to overpower her worry about her husband’s condition. Regardless of what her own father had done, Micah loved his family. Even if she weren’t there, he’d come home because he loved his children, his brother, and Jonah and Sookie. But she knew in her heart that he loved her, too. If he wasn’t home, it was because he couldn’t come home. Something had happened.

  She closed the door and dragged herself back to the bedroom and dressed. All she wanted to do was crawl in bed and sleep until her husband returned. But she had a home and family to care for. She rubbed her gritty eyes and headed outside to visit the privy. Afterward, she walked down to the creek and splashed cool water on her face.

  Would she face these struggles every time Micah left home? Somehow she thought she might. At least for a while.

  Amy looked up at the clear blue sky. “Lord, it’s me, Amy. I’m still not too good at praying yet, but I know You understand. Wherever Micah is, please watch over him. Keep him safe. If he’s hurt, I pray that You show Ben where he is, so he can bring him home. And help me conquer these feelings of abandonment. Help me to believe in my husband’s love.”

  “Amy! Micah’s home!”

  Startled at Ben’s shout, Amy jumped and turned toward the house. She saw Ben running from the barn to the cabin. In front of the house stood a horse with a man slumped on its back. Another man, who looked like an old trapper, waved at Ben.

  Amy’s gaze pulled back to the man on the horse. Micah! She lifted her skirts and dashed forward. “Oh, thank You, God, for bringing him home.”

  “Micah!”

  Slowly, he lifted his head and stared in her direction. Her heart nearly burst with joy. As she neared him, she saw a bandage wrapped around his head. Micah slid off the horse and steadied himself then turned toward her.

  “Papa!” Beth charged out the door, jumped off the porch, and ran to her father, grabbing hold of his leg.

  “Morning, Punkin.” Micah laid his hand on the top of her head and gave her a tired smile.

  Amy’s heart beat a frantic pace, but her steps slowed as Micah was quickly surrounded.

  Ben stopped right in front of his brother. “Where you been? What happened? We’ve been scared out of our wits.” The men embraced and slapped shoulders; then Ben picked up Beth and handed her to Micah. Without waiting for Micah to answer him, Ben turned to the old man who’d brought his brother home and asked him where he’d found Micah.

  Jonah shuffled up and patted Micah’s arm. “Glad to have you back home. I been prayin’ powerful hard.”

  Sookie stepped out the door and smiled. “Breakfast is ready.” Just as quickly, she darted back inside.

  Ben invited the old man for breakfast and introduced Jonah. Beth wiggled out of her father’s arms and followed them inside.

  Finally, Amy and Micah were alone.

  She felt heat warm her cheeks as Micah gazed at her intently, seemingly taking in every square inch. He pulled his eyes from her and studied the ground. Amy’s heart lurched when she noticed the spot of blood on his bandage. She moved toward him as he looked up.

  “I’m so sorry, Amy. I planned on coming right home, but that storm messed things up. I know you were worried.” His gaze begged her for understanding.

  At that moment, all her concerns and fears were dashed aside. All she could think about was that Micah had been hurt and she hadn’t been there to help him. Tears stung her eyes and made her throat ache. She could have lost him.

  Stepping forward, she lifted her hand to his lips. “Shhh. God helped me, and I’m thankful He answered my prayers and helped you, too.”

  Hope sparked in his blue-green eyes, and he grabbed her hand, kissing each of her fingers. Shivers of delight raced up Amy’s arm, and she felt as if her heart would burst with love for this man.

  “Amy. . .I missed you so much.”

  Micah pulled her into his arms and pressed his warm lips against hers. Joy filled her being as she wrapped her arms around his waist and kissed him back.

  Who would have thought a few months ago that she’d be married? Amy marveled at all that
God had done in her life in such a short time.

  Finally, Micah pulled back. He framed her face with his hands, and she noticed a bandage on one of them. “Amy Walsh, you have to know that I was an idiot to want to keep our marriage a business arrangement.”

  Feeling covered with a sudden blanket of shyness, Amy nodded and looked away.

  “You think I’m an idiot?”

  Her gaze darted back to his. “No—”

  Micah’s teasing smile sent butterflies dancing in her stomach. This time he covered her lips with his callused finger. “I know you don’t think that. As soon as I can finish Sookie’s cabin, I’ll move back downstairs.”

  It was Amy’s turn to grin.

  “What are you smiling at?”

  Amy reached up and smoothed back a lock of Micah’s dark brown hair that had flopped over the bandage, onto his forehead. “While you were gone, Sean came over with a friend, and they finished it. Tierney said you’d need to be in your own bed if something had happened, so I could nurse you.”

  Micah’s eyes twinkled with delight. “I like the idea of you nursing me. I’m so grateful to God for bringing you here, Amy.”

  She managed to whisper, “Me, too,” before his lips covered hers again.

  The next day, Amy sat at the spinning wheel, pulling wool into thin strands and spinning it onto a spool. She’d used up Kathryn’s bag of wool and had bartered a deal with a neighbor who owned sheep to trade their extra milk and eggs for wool.

  Missy was asleep, and Sookie had taken Beth down to the barn to look for eggs and to see the horses. The men were down working in the cornfield. Amy took time to enjoy the rare moment of being alone.

  So many times in her life, being alone had been a fearful thing, but now she cherished the few moments of quiet. As the big wheel spun around, Amy marveled at the changes that had happened in her life the past few months. She no longer feared men. She was even married to one.