Finally...One Summer (Just One of the Guys)

by Kristi Pelton

  “Zach,” I whispered. I hoped he was paying attention because it’s how I said his name when I just…said his name not wanting anything. But I did want something. I wanted the light off. As his hands skimmed over my abs and up over my breasts, he stared at me, and I was suddenly self-conscious, though my bra was safely intact. His eyes memorized everything he touched in great detail, and my normal shudder rippled through me as he touched beneath my bra.

  I cleared my throat as a smile touched his lips. “Zach,” I said louder this time and he sensed my urgency and stopped.

  “What?”

  “The lights. I don’t like that…”

  “Emma. Please. Give me this…just once, please.”

  He’d never asked for anything like this before, and I didn’t have the strength to tell him no. I would extend this to him. I’d extend anything to him.

  He saw the answer in my eyes and returned to kissing by stomach. His lips moved lightly over the skin till he found my hipbone that barely stuck out from my low-rise mini skirt. He nuzzled the small protruding bone with his nose, and I giggled when it tickled. His huge hands wrapped around my hipbones and my body instinctively arched up. I felt him clasp my skirt zipper, then his hand slowly moved downward. As he eased the material from my hips, I swallowed any self-consciousness I had left. He kissed my thighs, my knees, my shins and my toes as the skirt was tossed aside. His finger briefly dipped below the lacey waistband and the inevitable whimper escaped my mouth.

  “There she goes,” he whispered between kisses

  It felt awkward being exposed like I was. Though I felt my body responding to his every fingertip, it was hard to relax fully. He had returned to his starting point and when his lips settled across mine, they were softer than before, his tongue not so urgent.

  “Emma. If we were old enough. I’d marry you. Right now.”

  I cradled his face this time. He was so serious tonight…too serious. “I’d marry you too,” I smiled, but he didn’t. “Zach. Something’s wrong. You’re different.”

  He smiled. “Just missed you, baby.”

  I grabbed the material that hung near his waist and pulled it upward till he finished taking it off. I watched his Adam’s apple jet out and back in as my hands now touched his perfect body and smooth skin…the ripples of muscle more defined than I remembered. My fingers trembled as I circled his belly button and fondled the patch of hair just above his jeans. His eyes were closed as I raked my nails over his soft skin, and he smiled.

  His jeans unfastened easily and I unzipped them slowly. His traditional boxers were beneath the denim, and I blushed to myself when I could tell that his body was ready for me. It felt good to know that I did that to him, and as we both worked off his jeans, I bit my lip. I ran my fingers through the hair on his legs and I copied his motions by also running my hand along his waistband.

  “Em,” he groaned and I smiled.

  “Mmm?” I kissed along his waistband lifting it slightly when he grabbed my arms and pulled me up to him. “You stopped me,” I giggled. He didn’t laugh but rather turned me till my back rested against his chest and our legs bent around each other. “What are you doing?” I asked as we spooned, his right arm pulling me tightly in.

  “I want you close. As close as I can get you.”

  But as quick as that, he slid off the bed. “I’m going to the restroom. I’ll be right back.”

  “OK.” What the fuck? His behavior was odd.

  Before I knew it, he was behind me again, kissing my shoulders then down to my mid back sending a flurry of goose bumps over my skin.

  “So. We’re only going to lay together?” I asked curiously.

  He brushed through my hair. “For tonight. I just want to hold you.”

  My body wanted more than that. I ached for his touch now and wasn’t sure I could go without it. I chewed on my lip as I took his hand in mine and pushed it down the front of my body. His breath caught in his throat. I pressed his hand against the satin panties and my lower back pressed back against his body. My throat arched as my head hit his chest.

  “No, Em.”

  He tried to pull his hand away, but I forcefully kept it where I wanted it.

  “Zach. Touch me. I want you to touch me,” I begged trying to move his hands in unison with my hips.

  “No,” he snapped and I let go and quickly rose to my feet staring at him.

  “Why? What is wrong?”

  He immediately scooted to the end of the bed and found his jeans. “I’m leaving, Em.”

  Chapter 39—Goodbye

  “Leaving? What could you possibly have to do at this moment? Oh, wait…don’t tell me…dessert.” I threw my arms around his bare back and kissed his neck, giggling.

  He freed himself from my arms and was sliding his shirt over his head. “No. No dessert. I forgot that one actually.”

  My knees were tucked beneath me and I sat on my feet. “Then where are you going?”

  His sad eyes worried me, and suddenly aware of my appearance, I reached for my sweatshirt and skirt, my smile fading.

  “Zach. Talk to me.”

  I watched as he shoved his cell phone in his pocket…mine was on the nightstand…not where I left it. His keys were next in his pocket as he glanced around the room.

  He sat on the corner of the mattress and took my hand, clearing his throat.

  “I’m moving, Em. I’m going to Southern Cal…tonight. I’ve taken all but one final and I’ll either fail the class…or return…” his eyes narrowed when he said the last word. “I’m not sure yet. I talked to the Dean and he approved my transfer at semester.”

  I don’t think my mind was able to process the words as fast as he spoke them. “Southern Cal?” was all I got out.

  He nodded. “Don’t hate me,” he whispered standing.

  I stood on the mattress. “I could never hate you. And I think if this is what you truly want then it’s the right thing,” I said touching his face. “We’ll make it work. Hey, we just got through a whole month with no contact,” I laughed.

  His brow pulled inward. “No. You’ve misunderstood. I won’t be coming back. Christmas…maybe but that’s it. I’ll stay for the summer. I’m moving there. You and I…we won’t work.”

  I smacked his shoulder. “Zachary.” I smiled. “We’ll make it work. You and I…can do anything.”

  “Emma. Stop! Listen to me. Hear my words. It’s over.”

  I refused to accept what he was saying. “You just told me how much you love me. You’d marry me…right now…if you could. But since you can’t…it’s over?”

  “I do love you and I always will.” He took three slow steps toward the door then turned toward me. “I will never love anyone the way I love you. Please forgive me.”

  He opened the door and it closed behind him as I sat lifeless on the bed.

  I rushed to the door and opened it. I was only in my matching bra and panties. “Zach. You can’t leave me here. I have no ride.”

  He swiveled around and stared at me. “Yes. You do. I’m guessin they’ll be here within five minutes. Go back in the room.”

  This was more real than I thought. “Stop! Why are you doing this?” I screamed running toward him and allowing the door to close. He pulled the key from his pocket and caught me in one arm, picking me up and hauling me back to the room. “Why did you do this? Why the hotel? Then you wouldn’t even touch me.”

  “Emma. You’ve given yourself to me twice, and I will be forever grateful for what we shared. I wasn’t going to do that tonight knowing I was leaving. I just wanted to be with you. I told you that. I let it go farther than I should have. Don’t make this harder than it is.”

  I grabbed him. “Please don’t do this. I’ll be more patient. I won’t text you as much. I swear…” I started to cry. “I won’t ever worry about being pregnant again.”

  “Baby.” His voice broke and tears boiled in his eyes. “Stop.” He squeezed his forehead between his thumb and the rest of his fingers hiding
his eyes. “You…have done nothing wrong. This is about…me.” A single tear broke free and streamed down his face.

  I’d never seen him cry before and it broke my heart. I didn’t know if it was possible for your heart to actually hurt…but mine did. I reached for his face, and he caught my hand before it got there and pushed it away.

  “Good-bye,” he said coldly. His back was to me again and the door closed.

  I followed him again.

  “Damn it, Emma. Stay in the room.”

  “No. You don’t want this any more than I do,” I screamed and one of the hotel room doors opened. A 30 something year old man in a suit stared at me in my bra and I crossed my arms.

  “Get back in your room and shut the door,” Zach ordered and the guy did without hesitation. Zach yanked his shirt off his head and threw it down over mine then shoved me around guiding me to the room once again.

  “I’m not staying. I know you love me.”

  “You should. I do. But I’m still leaving.” He opened our door again.

  Outside the door, Austin stood with his hands in his pocket. His brow lowered when we both came out.

  “Austin. Please keep her here. I have to go. Trust me. It’s for her own good,” Zach’s voice was low.

  “What?” Austin asked confused as he looked me over head to toe wearing only Zach’s shirt.

  Zach opened the exit door at the end of the hall and walked into the darkness not looking back.

  I started to move toward the door. Austin grabbed me, scaring me at first, because for a brief moment, I forgot he was there. He held up the card that Zach had given him and tugged me toward the door.

  “Why are you here?” I asked as we went back into the room. I stared at the leftover food that we had enjoyed hours before.

  “I got your text.”

  My head snapped his way. “What text?”

  Confusion masked with enlightenment crossed Austin’s face. He sat down in a chair. “He texted me from your phone. That’s why he asked to meet me here.”

  I watched Austin intently as something fell into place for him. It still hadn’t for me. “He asked you to meet him here?” I asked quietly.

  He shook his head. “He asked me this week to meet him down here to talk about you. He knew I would. I’ve been waiting for the past hour for him at the pizza parlor. Then I got your text and left. He knew I’d do that too.” His chuckle was low. “Well played.”

  I heard his words but didn’t look at him. “He planned this?”

  Out of my peripheral vision, I saw Austin moving toward me. “He planned it well. But why?”

  “He’s transferring to USC,” I said and I heard the sadness in my voice.

  “What?”

  I slowly rocked my head back and forth.

  “When?” he asked.

  “Now. He’s leaving tonight.” The words brought tears again.

  Austin’s arm slowly pulled me in and I sobbed harder.

  “I don’t get it. I don’t understand. He didn’t give me a reason…why?”

  Austin’s breathing accelerated and his body stiffened. “So. You’re telling me. He brought you to a hotel, you two…” He paused. “And then he left.”

  I sniffed and the lining of my nose was swollen. “We didn’t do what you think we did. He wouldn’t.”

  Austin’s chest deflated and I felt him relax.

  “Em. Did you guys have a fight?”

  “No,” I cried.

  He unclasped my hands from his shirt and propped the pillows on top of each other.

  “Come here,” he requested holding out his hand. He sat upright with one arm around me and my head rested on his chest. “Tell me what happened from the beginning.”

  Chapter 40—Zach

  When the Jeep door closed, the door to my heart slammed. Welcome tears finally spilled over and fell. They simmered most of the night. Who am I kidding; they had simmered the past month since the decision was made. I couldn’t NOT cry. No matter how hard I tried. Had a friend been sitting shotgun, I think I’d have had the same uncontrollable reaction. In my heart, I knew Emma was my one true love. My soul mate. My life partner. Fast forward five years, maybe then. Loving her was my job and protecting her was my life. The only way to protect her was to leave.

  Stunned, I sat with a death grip on the steering wheel, willing myself not to go back to her. The well-thought-out plan was executed perfectly. The expected pain was more unimaginable than I anticipated. The pain searing through my chest—unequivocally the worst pain I’d ever experienced.

  When I spotted the new Rover sitting in the parking lot, I wanted to ram the shit out of it with the Jeep. Even if it meant destroying the Jeep, I wanted to destroy a part of him. Seeing it sit empty was a gut-wrenching realization of where he was at this moment. Holding my girl. Wiping her tears. Running his fingers through her hair. Her little eyes were staring up at him full of questions. He was shushing her as she cried. I reached for the door handle and wished it would burn me.

  “FUCK!!” I shouted, my fist slamming against the door. I rested my head on the steering wheel, taking deep breaths. Twenty more seconds…that’s what I would give her to see if she broke free of him and came after me. What would I do if she did? If she were still only wearing my shirt, I’d go to her. I’d have to. She doesn’t think. She reacts out of emotion. And coming into that hall in her bra and panties? Really? There was no guilt when I told that old prick taking in every inch of her body with his eyes to get back to his room. If she came out now…I’d…I’d…I’d go to her. The ring I’d given her was on my pinkie. I’d taken it from the nightstand before I left. It was a low move. A dirty one. But I didn’t want it to become nothing to her. It meant so much to me.

  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13…the door swung open. The guy from the hallway came walking, looked both ways, then sprinted to his car. I considered yelling at him for good measure. The door closed. 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19…. I turned the ignition of the Jeep over and decided it would only be fair to give her 5 more seconds. 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25. After swiping my hands the length of my face, I pulled out of the parking place where I had just parked with her a few hours ago. I hadn’t planned not to have sex with her, but I worried that would only hurt her more. I was hurting her enough.

  After adjusting my rearview mirror, the door was visible again. 26, 27, 28, 29, 30. As my eyes filled unwillingly this time, I pinched them shut, took one last glance and my Jeep joined traffic.

  “California…I’m coming home…”

  Chapter 41- Survival

  When I woke up, it was 3am. Austin was asleep next to me. I’d told him what had happened…leaving out the more personal stuff. Neither of us could figure out what was going on. I’m not sure when I fell asleep, but I knew it was before him. I slid out from under his arm and sat in a chair pulling my knees to my chest. The candles scattered around had long extinguished and the beautiful roses stood high in their vases. I snatched my phone off the nightstand and tried his number.

  “Hello. This is Zach (and Emma). Leave a message.” I laughed to keep from crying when I heard the message we’d made together. Me yelling the ‘and Emma’ part while he was recording. But he’d left it. I hung up.

  I traced around my finger realizing my ring wasn’t on. Then I remembered him sliding it off when we were on the bed. Blindly, I felt around on the nightstand and couldn’t find it. I lit the area with my iPhone. Nothing. Frantically, I felt around on the carpet. Nothing. I ran to the hotel door and flipped the light switch. Austin sprang upright.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “My ring. I can’t find my ring.”

  He squinted and nodded. “OK. Where’d you put it?”

  “On the nightstand. It was right here. It’s not on the floor either.”

  He was down on his hands and knees pulling up the comforter and tossing it. I pulled the cushion from the chair, moved the coffee table, then ran to the bathroom just to make sure it wasn’t in there. W
hen I came back out, Austin rested his face in his palms with his elbows on his knees.

  “Why aren’t you looking?” I asked panicked.

  “He took it, Em.”

  “How do you know?” I asked, the painstakingly god-awful feeling returning to my chest.

  “I just know. It’s not here.”

  Austin stood. “You take the bed. I’ll take the chair,” he offered. “You need to sleep.”

  Somehow my butt found the edge of the bed and I buried my face. “I don’t understand.”

  “I know you don’t. You really will think clearer if you sleep. It’s 3 a.m.”

  I reluctantly moved back on the bed and he moved toward the chair.

  “Austin. You can share the bed with me.”

  He spun around quickly. “I was hoping you’d say that. Thank you.” He collapsed on his stomach shoving the pillow under his head.

  I slept on and off the rest of the morning until the sunlight crept through the heavy curtains. My eyes were swollen as I looked at them in the mirror of the bright bathroom light. After splashing them with water, I tried to put together some sort of game plan…an agenda for my day. My car was around the corner from Ali’s house and I had to get that first. I brushed my teeth.

  When I came out of the bathroom, Austin’s eyes were open.

  “How ya doin?”

  I shrugged. “If there was a reason…I think it’d be easier.”

  “Would it? Saying goodbye is never easy.”

  I tilted my head to the side. “You’re right.”

  “I always am,” he smiled.

  “Don’t start with that.”

  He grabbed my bag. “Yes, Ma’am. You ready to go?”

  I nodded taking one last look at the suite. A night that started out so perfectly had ended disastrously. My life seemed to have almost ended…I couldn’t imagine going on.

  After picking up my car, I went straight home. Ryan was still in bed. I showered, dressed and decided I was going to Zach’s house. I didn’t care if he was gone. I had to talk to his mom.