by Stacey Lewis
“There’s nothing that can be done. I had a one night stand with a woman a couple weekends ago.. It was…” I lick my lips, unable to stop myself from thinking about that night. The woman haunts my dreams just like Ava haunts me during the day.
“A woman? You didn’t get her name? What about her number?” I narrow my eyes, grabbing the whiskey bottle and pouring myself another glass. I don’t like the sudden interest that Reed’s taken on my love life. The man just barely got his own together, the last thing he needs to be doing is giving advice.
“Yes a woman, a very hot, very fucking sweet woman. It was the most amazing sex I’ve ever had, and unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before but when the deed was done I fell asleep with her in my arms, and since I was drunk as hell I didn’t get her number or her name.” I growl in frustration more with myself than with him, before bringing the glass to my mouth and pouring the brown liquid down my throat.
I notice then that Reed’s smiling. Like full on grinning. The look on his face only pisses me off further and I glare over at him.
“Why are you smiling like that? You look like a jackass.” I bark.
Reed’s smile turned into laughter that fills the room. “You are so fucked,” He tells me, shaking his head. “You don’t realize it yet, but you are.” I have to force myself to keep both hands around my empty glass instead of crossing my arms over my chest and pouting like a child. He must be able to read my mind because his laughter mounts, echoing off the walls of my office.
“So what are you going to do? Are you going to find her?” I roll my eyes.
Did he not hear me say that I didn’t get her name or her number? “How am I supposed to do that? I didn’t get any of her information, remember?” My agitation grows, and I slam the glass down on the table and stand, running my hands through my hair and pacing.
“I’ve never seen her there before, so it’s not like I can just hang out and hope she comes back in. I’m not sure I would even recognize her if she did.” I’m so pissed off. Pissed at myself, at the situation, at Reed for making me tell him this. Okay, maybe he’s not actually making me tell him because I need to talk to someone.
Nonetheless it didn’t have to be him, it could’ve been Remy. At the very least he wouldn’t have asked me a million questions and made me repeat myself ten times.
Out of the corner of my eye I see Reed. He’s silently watching me, unravel. He says nothing, and it makes me feel even more unbalanced.
“If what you felt was real, and it was meant to be then she’ll find her way back to you. If it isn’t then you’ll find love with someone else.” Reed states so matter-of-factly, like he’s loved and lost thousands of women, when we both know it’s always been Fallon for him.
“Go back to being the CEO, and stop trying to be Dr. Phil. Please?” Reed stands, grabbing the glasses, and taking the bottle of whiskey into his hands. I have half the mind to ask him to leave it here, but what good am I to the company if I’m drunk?
“I love you Ry, even if you don’t believe it. Even if you’re mad that I made you talk about all the shit going on inside your head. I just want you to know that Dad would be proud of you right now. He’d be proud to see you stepping up to the plate, I know I am.” His words were sincere and I knew he was thankful to have me running the ship while he was was gone.
It was me though that wasn’t worthy.
I was grief stricken and taking out my pain on everyone around me. If only I could find the one woman that made all the noises inside my head shut up. Maybe then I could stop treating everyone around me like shit.
“Thank you brother, and I do mean it.” I grimace at the words, feeling as if I’ve ripped the bandaid off of the wound.
It isn’t until Reed turns around to leave that I notice a red high heel peeking out right outside the door, and I know just who’s heel that belongs to. I start grinning like an asshole at the thought of having the sassy blonde in my office again.
“Might as well come in, Ava,” A gasp meets my ears as I announce her hiding place, and she pops out, a head of blonde curls, and dark amber colored eyes meet my blues as Reed slips through the doorway, giving her a curt nod.
It’s when she comes into full view that I notice the heat in her normally creamy white cheeks. Is she embarrassed that I discovered her eavesdropping?
“I’m… I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to interrupt anything.” She speaks so fast, that I can tell without a doubt that she’s anxious, and maybe even scared and that’s the kick to the balls I fucking need. I realize then that my little taunting of her the other day pushed things to far.
“Don’t be sorry. It’s me who is sorry. If I made you uncomfortable in any way I apologize. I have a lot of shit going on, but none of that is your fault, and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.” She looks up at me, her amber eyes wide with shock, and I’m not sure why, but I feel the need to explain, even though I’m sure she heard plenty while she was listening in.
“It’s been a rough couple of weeks, and I’ve been pushing everyone around me away. All I wanted was to be an asshole in peace, but I’m sure you’ve noticed that my brothers have this wonderful ability, one where they dig into whatever’s bothering you so the wound can never scab over.” I try to smile at her, but it falls flat.
Sympathy contortus in her features, and while I would normally hate anyone feeling sorry for me, I’m hoping she’ll forgive me for being such an ass, so I’ll take whatever I can get and let it slide this one time.
Her hand comes up to rest against my arm, and she steps just a little closer. She’s near enough for me to smell her light perfume, and I’m hit once again with the feeling of deja vu. Something about her scent is familiar, but I can’t place why or where I’ve smelt it before.
“It’s okay, Ryker.” Her soft voice soothes me in a way I don’t understand, and I find myself leaning closer to her. The way her body stiffens when I do though, it’s like a bucket of cold water being thrown on me.
Ava doesn’t trust me or my motivations at all. I’m going to have to work hard if I want to earn her trust, and deciding whether or not I should is a decision I won’t be taking lightly. I’m not sure what to say, or if I should say anything at all, but before I can decide, she removes her hand and takes a step back.
“It’s getting late. I should probably head home.” She’s looking up at me like she’s half hoping I’ll ask her to stay, but that’s not what either one of us needs right now.
As much as I want to ask her to, to offer to feed her, or do just about anything so she’s still here, I don’t. “Yeah,” I have to clear my throat in order to continue. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?” It comes out more like a question than a statement, and I cringe inwardly, not wanting to show any weakness where she’s concerned.
Ava’s face falls as disappointment fills her eyes, and I almost take it back. I hate seeing that expression on her beautiful face, she should be smiling, laughing, and happy. Thankfully, she doesn’t give me the chance, and without another word, she leaves my office, taking all the warmth with her and leaving me alone in the cold, sterile room.
Chapter Nine
Ava
When I walk into the apartment I share with Marie and Gabby, I’m met with grumpy stares. I find the two of them lying on opposite sides of the couch with their faces buried in their phones while Sixteen Candles plays on the TV in the background.
“You guys look like death warmed over,” I tell them as I take off my heels and put my purse on the small dining room table.
Marie flips me off, but Gabby grunts and says, “Well, my vagina feels like it’s trying to eat the rest of my body, so yeah, I probably don’t look so hot.” I blink, her comment causing me to pull out my cell, and look at the date on the screen.
“It’s already that time of the month again?” I mumble under my breath mainly to myself before pushing my phone back into my dress slacks. It’s then I realize I’m not experi
encing any cramping or the usual cravings I have for mint chocolate chip ice cream.
“You aren’t bleeding yet?” Marie perks up as if she can read my mind, looking at me over her phone. I shake my head no, but cover up any further questions with an easy response.
“No not yet, but I’m sure I will be any day now. We work like clock work around here. Always in sync with each other.” I smile, half lying to myself, and to Marie. She eyes me wirily, as if she’s trying to read further into my words or something.
The anxious feeling that fills my belly when our eyes collide annoys me. I’m still upset over what happened between us yesterday but I also don’t want to be. I want things between us to be normal like they were before I brought up Ryker. Instead they’re tense, almost like a line’s been drawn in the sand with each of us standing on either side. I want to ask her what her problem is, but I’m also scared. The only thing I can think of is she and Ryker together, and if that’s the case I can’t go there with him again.
“What’s for dinner?” I ask them, hoping a change in the subject will ease my mind away from thoughts of Ryker having sex with Marie and the possible reasons I could be late. Being late is the last thing I need right now, especially since I can’t remember if Ryker and I used a condom that night.
“Sleep. Sleep, alcohol and midol, my own personal concoction.” Gabby answers, causing me to giggle softly. Most of the time she drinks an entire bottle of wine and begs me to watch an entire season of Grey’s Anatomy.
“So I’m guessing I should order a pizza?” I question. Marie doesn’t answer me and Gabby merely grunts. Wanting to get out of my work clothes, and wanting to have my freak out in peace, I decide to go to my room for a little bit before asking them about dinner again.
When I make it to my bedroom I close the door, and sag against it. It feels like there are a thousand secrets floating between all of us, the weight of most of them resting against my shoulders heavily. This thing with Ryker, and his up and down emotions. Marie’s strange hate for Ryker, and the fact that my period is late.
It’s almost too much for me to bear. I squeeze my lids shut and will away the tears that sting them. I will not cry. I will not.
After changing into a pair of pajama pants and a tank top, I sit on the edge of my bed clutching my phone in my hands. I know I should pull up the app I have on it that will tell me exactly when I’m due, but if I don’t look I won’t have a reason to panic right?
Besides, this whole month has been stressful. Between papers I’ve had to write for school, interviews for an internship, mom’s latest drama with my father, and of course, the night I had with Ryker and the way he treated me when I started at Winston Industries, it’s no wonder I’m out of sync. Stress can cause problems with your body, it can cause your cycle to be late, or even cause you to miss periods all together … I’m positive I’ve read that somewhere.
Oh God … what will I do if stress isn’t the problem? The thought makes me nauseous. I can’t afford a baby right now, and there’s no way Ryker will believe me if I tell him I’m actually the woman from the bar, and that I’m pregnant with his baby. The entire situation has my thoughts going a million miles a minute.
The quiet knock on my bedroom door startles me, and I find myself rushing from the bed and to the door without much thought. I twist the knob, pulling it open with more effort than need be. When I notice it’s Marie that’s standing in the doorway, my heart lodges into my throat.
“Can we talk for a second?” Her voice is soft, and the anxious look in her eyes tells me how uncomfortable this conversation is making her.
“Of course Marie. You’re my best friend, why wouldn’t we be able to talk?” I question curiously, never really thinking that whatever has happened between her and Ryker could affect our friendship. She walks into the room stopping right before the bed.
“I didn’t mean to start a fight or upset you last night. I’ve just got my own personal things going on and I don’t want you getting hurt.” Her eyes lift from the floor and to mine, the concern she has for me is etched into her features, proving that her intentions are true.
“I’m not hurt… I’m okay. I swear.” I start fearing she may be thinking the worst of Ryker.
“No, that’s not what I mean.” She holds her hands up, stopping me dead in my tracks. I stare at her puzzled by what she’s saying. She doesn’t want me hurt, but…
“I just… I can’t tell you what’s going on right now, but I don’t want you getting hurt.” Her response is so vague. I want to ask her what it is that she’s hiding but at the same time I want to give her the chance to talk about it on her own.
“Marie.” I plead with her taking another step closer. This is my best friend. The girl that helped me get into college, that listened to me complain about boys, periods, and teenage drama. If she wants to protect me from something I should listen, even if it does have something to do with Ryker.
“What’s going on? I’m here for you, and so is Gabby. You can talk to us about anything, you know that right?” I assure her while practically begging her to spill the beans. I can already tell she’s not going too tell me what what’s going on. There’s a panicked look in her eyes. That panic worries me.
What’s her secret?
“When I’m ready to tell you both I will, until then stop worrying about me. I’m stronger than I look and I didn’t come in here to have you question me. I just wanted to apologize for the outburst yesterday, and tell you that things aren’t always what they seem. I’ve learned a lot about the Winstons over the years and I can assure you there are deeper secrets than you could ever have imagined.” She doesn’t look at me as she speaks, and I feel like I’m losing her, like a piece of our friendship is fading.
“If he hurt you Marie...I swear…” I sigh, running a hand through my long blonde hair. There are a million different thoughts running rampant in my mind. Was Ryker really capable of hurting someone like Marie? I didn’t want to think that he was, but then again I didn’t know him enough to say he wasn’t.
“Just protect yourself…” She pauses, pulling away, her body turning towards the door. “All I’m saying is just because he seems interested doesn’t mean he wants you long term. Protect your heart, and follow your gut.”
It’s as if she’s talking in riddles when all I want her to do is tell me what Ryker did to her.
She gives me one lasting glance over her shoulder, a sad smile forming against her lips as she walks out of the door she just entered. I want to chase her down and ask her to explain, to beg her to tell me who hurt her but I can’t… I won’t.
All of that has to be on her terms and that fact unsettles me, because with each day that passes, and each secret that fails to be revealed I find myself wanting to grow closer to Ryker.
I close the door behind her, feeling the impulsive need to be alone.
If Ryker or one of his brother’s hurt her I’m not sure what I’ll do? I want to believe that nothing bad happened, but I can’t.
And it kills me to know it.
I lay down on the mattress, closing my eyes, for a moment of silence. Except as soon as my eyes are closed I see Ryker’s face above mine, the memories of our one night together surging to the forefront of my mind.
Chapter Ten
Ryker
Ava forgiving me didn’t feel like it was enough. I watched her scurry around the office, the mug of piping hot coffee in my hand proving that she was more than perfect for the job as my assistant. Still I cringed inwardly as I thought back to the way I had cornered her in my office. My head wasn’t in the right place then, hell it still wasn’t, but I knew if I wanted to have a decent relationship with the woman I couldn’t be initiating sex from her.
I felt like a bastard for doing what I did. I wanted to apologize again, maybe even offer her lunch or something? I watcher her curiously from the office, moving towards the door, as her face went pale. My brow furrowed with worry.
> Was she okay?
“Ava?” My voice was louder than it needed me, more demanding and dark then I intended it to be, but something inside me screamed to go to her.
She shook her head, her beautiful blonde curls escaping from behind her ears as she did so. One of her hands rested against her stomach, as she rushed to the bathroom, her whiskey colored eyes watering, and her face filled with panic.
I sat my cup down on the nearest desk and ran after her. Even if she was sick, I needed to make sure she was okay. She was my assistant after all, or at least that was the excuse I was going to give myself for chasing after her.
“Hey.” I gripped by the arm, watching her swallow hard, her hand dropping from her mouth while her eyes moved from my hand and up my arm to my face. She takes a few deep breaths, the color returning to her face, so I release my hold on her, and finish what I wanted to say. “Is everything okay? You don’t look like you’re feeling well.” I tried my best to sound sincere and caring. I didn’t want to scare her off.
Her gaze narrowed, “What’s it matter to you? I’m here that’s all that matters right?” Her voice was cold, and her body language was rigid and angry.
“No that’s not all that matters. If you’re ill you’re more than welcome to go home. I don’t want you feeling like crap or thinking you have to be here when you don’t. I’ll survive for one day. I swear.” The boyish grin I gave her didn’t seem to ease things, and I was conflicted wondering if I had done something wrong yet again?
“Just because you apologize doesn’t mean we’re friends…” Her words sting more than I care to admit and when she turns a pale shade of green and pulls away, running for the bathroom again, I’m taunted with the idea of going after her once more, and forcing her to tell me what is wrong.
Before I can do that I’m interrupted.
“Whoa where are you going?” Fallon’s sing song voice, and hand upon my arm stops me dead in my tracks. Dread fills my belly as I watch Ava escape into the bathroom.