Beautifully Toxic

by Charity Parkerson

  Theo jumped to his feet. He had to know. Theo forgot about his lack of clothing. Nothing mattered but seeing that message for himself. Luckily, he didn’t run across anyone as he headed to his old bedroom. Everything was where he had left it. His phone sat on top of his closed laptop on the nightstand. Theo grabbed it and plugged it in, waiting for it to charge enough to start. After what felt like forever but was probably only seconds, ding after ding sounded as incoming messages made themselves known. Theo held his breath. There it was. The final message from Jessie.

  Jessie: I love you.

  Theo sniffed so hard, it hurt his throat. If anyone had ever said those words to him, Theo had been too young to recall. He fought the urge to rush back to Jessie’s room and force him to say them to Theo’s face. Instead, he picked up the necklace Jessie had given him and put it back on. This was his home. He replied to Jessie’s message and then opened his web browser. Theo typed Jessie’s name. He didn’t have to hunt. It was the first headline he saw.

  Jessie Thunder enters rehab two years after the death...

  Theo clicked when the headline stopped there. He read from the top.

  Jessie Thunder, the superstar drummer who made millions after shooting to the top of billboards around the world, entered rehab Sunday morning. Almost two years to the day after three of Thunder’s band mates were found dead after ingesting drugs laced with fentanyl, Jessie has been admitted to…

  Theo read with this heart in his throat. Bits and pieces from the story leapt out.

  Thunder was the only survivor of the unfortunate overdose…

  Thunder recounted the story of waking up among the bodies of his best friends and band mates...

  Theo’s eyes fell closed for a moment before he tried to read deeper, getting back to the present story.

  ... He was found unresponsive and revived by an unnamed friend of the family.

  Theo couldn’t take anymore. He shut down his phone and headed back down the hall. Thankfully, Jessie hadn’t budged. Theo spent a moment staring at his sleeping form. Ezra had said Theo could stay with him for the rest of his life if he wanted. It was as an offer Theo would have to decline. His place was here. Jessie needed him. Jessie needed Theo’s love and watchful eye. Theo wouldn’t let him hurt or be alone. He especially wouldn’t let Jessie backslide. It was time to heal. Jessie was his. Theo had him. He would be Jessie’s strength.

  Theo stripped and slipped back into bed. Jessie stirred and rolled onto his back. He snagged Theo and brought him with him. With Jessie settled on his back with Theo in his arms, Theo pressed his ear to Jessie’s chest. The steady beat of Jessie’s heart soothed him. Jessie loved him. He loved Theo so much, he had chosen to get clean, even though being clean meant facing a nightmarish past. That was some heady knowledge. It was a big responsibility. Theo wanted it. From this night on, Jessie would only know happiness. He would see. Theo wouldn’t fail him.

  Ten

  For a long while, Jessie watched Theo sleep. He looked so sexy with his shaggy hair in his eyes and face sleep swollen. Jessie was wide awake and painfully turned on. Theo was an irresistible sight to wake up to. Jessie’s lower back screamed at him to move. Lounging around all day no longer suited his body. Jessie rolled and checked the time on his phone. There was one unread message waiting. A smile stretched his lips when he saw it was from Theo. He quickly tapped the message icon.

  Theo: I love you too.

  That was it. Jessie couldn’t wait any longer. He slowly slid the drawer open on his bedside table, hoping Theo wouldn’t wake. Every move he made sounded loud as hell in the otherwise silent room. He found the lube and coated his fingers. Jessie wouldn’t go all in today, but Theo needed a little practice. Plus, Jessie wanted to show him how much pleasure his body could manage.

  Jessie kissed Theo’s back as his lubed fingers found Theo’s asshole. He probed, going deep and right for the spot that would drive him wild. A loud moan vibrated from Theo. He arched into Jessie’s touch, seeking more. Jessie kissed his way down Theo’s spine before urging him to roll over. He wanted Theo’s dick. The second Theo was on his back, Jessie settled between his thighs and went back to fucking Theo with his fingers. He mimicked sex, pumping his wet digits in and out of Theo as he swallowed Theo’s cock. Theo’s hips left the bed.

  “Oh, god. Don’t stop,” Theo whispered, sending Jessie’s lust skyrocketing.

  Jessie fought the urge to hump the bed like a teenage boy. He was so horny, and Theo was so fucking tight and responsive. Theo was like a man’s wet dream come true. Jessie wanted to shove his dick inside Theo and pound until they were both too raw to walk. Months and months, he had craved. Even when Jessie’s body wouldn’t work, his brain had been just fine. He had never had any trouble imagining this boy on his cock, sucking and riding. Goddamn, he was turned on past the point of insanity.

  Jessie sucked Theo’s dick like he would be the one who came. He couldn’t stop. Theo was tugging his hair and incoherently babbling. Theo’s body tensed. Jessie sucked harder. Cum filled his mouth as a cry reverberated from his bedroom walls. Jessie squeezed his eyes closed and swallowed as much as he could. His cock ached, but his heart was full. Nothing mattered to him except pleasing Theo.

  Theo tugged his hair, urging him higher. Jessie kissed his way up Theo’s body. Before he reached Theo’s mouth, he caught sight of the necklace Theo wore. His heart twisted in his chest. Jessie pressed a light kiss to the musical note resting on Theo’s collarbone. His eyes burned. Jessie found himself burying his face in the crook of Theo’s neck and fighting tears.

  “I love you. Jesus, Theo. I knew I had lost you and I wanted to die.” Jessie swallowed hard as a panic attack threatened to pull him under. “You’re the only thing keeping me sane. I can’t lose you.”

  “Shhh.” Theo rubbed his back and massaged his head while tears slipped from Jessie without his permission. “I love you, sweetie. I’m not going anywhere.”

  Jessie’s body slowly relaxed beneath Theo’s soothing touch. His lips skimmed Theo’s throat for the hundredth time. “Thank you.” Jessie tried to move, but he started shaking unexpectedly.

  Theo’s hold tightened on him. “I’ve got you. Just let me carry it for a minute.”

  Jessie relaxed again, giving up the fight. It felt too good in Theo’s arms for a panic attack to win. Sometimes, they came from nowhere. He didn’t do well with stress anymore. Not since waking up alone and surrounded by lifeless eyes. Jessie drew a steady breath. He could feel Theo’s heart beating against him. Theo wasn’t like the out-of-control people who had always surrounded him. He was steady. Strong. His spirit was unbreakable. In Theo’s arms, Jessie recognized he would be okay. They just needed time and each other. Everything else would find a way. Jessie believed that with all his heart. He had to.

  As hard as Theo tried, and despite Jessie’s momentary panic attack, he couldn’t stop smiling. Life had been shit for much longer than most people were forced to endure. Now everything felt different. He felt like everything would—finally—be okay. Theo’s eyes fell closed as Jessie’s lips brushed his neck.

  “Run away with me.”

  Theo chuckled at the suggestion.

  Jessie leaned back and met his stare. He looked adorably intense. “I’m being serious. Let’s go to Aspen and lock ourselves in a cabin. We can light a fire in the fireplace and focus on each other. I’ve missed the fuck out of you. I don’t want to share you with anyone or anything else right now.”

  Theo wanted the picture Jessie painted, but he also needed to be realistic. “What about Ezra and my job? Ezra just got you back too and Wrecker needs my help. Plus, Declan and Johnny have missed you too. I’m sure they’re looking forward to spending some time with you.”

  Jessie didn’t back down. “Ezra will understand. He’s my brother and we love each other, but he also gets that you’re the biggest part of me now. As to working, do you really plan to keep working?”

  A hint of irritation wormed its way into Theo’s rid
iculous happiness. “Maybe I do. I don’t know. I mean, maybe. Ugh. I can’t leave Wrecker high and dry no matter what we decide. He gave me a job when I didn’t feel like I had anything else.”

  Jessie stared at him with a crushing mixture of understanding and disappointment. “Okay.” He immediately brightened again. “What if I send someone to cover for you until you decide if you’re going back? That way, Wrecker will have the help he needs, and you’ll have some time to decide if I’m worth giving another chance.”

  “Oh, sweetie.” Theo cupped Jessie’s cheeks. “I’ve already decided you’re never getting away from me.” A smile tugged at Theo’s lips. “I think you forget that you saved me first. That’s what we do. We rescue each other. What about Declan and Johnny?”

  Jessie looked excited—like he knew he would soon have his way. “I think we’ll probably need Johnny, since I still have reporters stalking me everywhere I go, but I’ll put him in a cabin nearby or something so we can still be alone. As to Declan, he always takes six weeks off at Christmas to travel around the country. I saw him for a little while when he picked me up from rehab before he headed out. We’re used to touring and he misses it. We’ll see each other when he gets back.” A pained look crossed Jessie’s face. “If he even wants to keep working for me. He seemed kind of sick of my shit when we talked yesterday. It’s okay, though. He lasted longer than I expected. Hurting people and driving them away is what I do.” Jessie’s gaze locked on to Theo again with the same intensity he had while asking Theo to run away. “That bullshit is over, though. I swear I’ll never hurt you again. I’m in this. All the way.”

  Theo was torn between telling Jessie the truth about Declan to save him from thinking any of Declan’s bullshit was on Jessie, and keeping Ezra’s secrets. He chose option three. Distraction. “If you’re in this for good, do you ever plan to make love to me?”

  Jessie’s expression underwent a hilarious series of transformations before landing on confused. “I made love to you last night and I don’t know anyone who complains about waking up to a blow job.”

  Theo felt the blush on his cheeks, but he didn’t back down. He stroked Jessie’s erection that had been poking him all morning like it tried to get Theo’s attention. “I’m not complaining. I’m telling you that I want this inside me, and I want to know if you plan for that to happen anytime soon.”

  A flush rose high on Jessie’s cheeks. His eyes looked unfocused as Theo continued stroking his cock. “I’ve been trying to ease you into things,” Jessie said after a moment—like his attention was split. Theo squeezed. He needed Jessie’s pleasure. “Oh, god.”

  “I’m not afraid.” Nervous, yes. Theo wasn’t completely out of his depth. He had done some solo play. It was a little different with someone looking at him and making him worry he would do something stupid or humiliating.

  “I won’t make it to being inside you if you keep doing that,” Jessie said, sounding breathless

  when Theo squeezed again.

  For a moment, Theo was torn. He kind of wanted to make Jessie blow before he was ready, but Theo really didn’t want to miss his chance to feel Jessie pushing inside him. In the end, he released Jessie. “Hurry. Find a condom.”

  Jessie scrambled away like he didn’t need to be told twice. A chuckle stuck in Theo’s throat. It died as he watched Jessie suit up. His mouth watered as Jessie rolled the condom down his length and coated it with lube. His body practically vibrated with desire—like Jessie hadn’t sucked him dry earlier.

  While squirting more lube on his fingers, Jessie eyed Theo. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “You won’t.”

  Jessie crawled between Theo’s thighs. “Just let me play for a little while to make sure.”

  Theo’s head fell back against the pillow. A moan rose in his throat as Jessie’s lubed fingers found their way inside his ass again. He was back to stretching and hitting that button that drove him wild. Theo fought the urge to stroke his own cock and lost. A pained sound vibrated from Jessie as Theo jacked off—like Theo was killing him. A second finger joined the first. Theo’s hips left the bed. He didn’t know if he would make it until Jessie could get inside him. A third finger stretched him. Theo whimpered. He needed more.

  “Please, Jessie.”

  “Goddamn. You’re perfect.” That was all the warning Theo got before he found himself impaled.

  It hurt, but nowhere near as much as he expected. He recognized Jessie hadn’t given him time to tense and that had probably saved him. Then Jessie rocked, hitting the perfect spot with his dick, and Theo couldn’t be still. He fought to get closer to Jessie. They were one person. Completely connected. Theo was a mess. His body was a huge combination of pain and ecstasy while his soul recognized he was complete. His other half was a part of him. Theo was in love and on the verge of orgasm. The mixture was a heady one. Theo would do anything Jessie asked in that moment if he promised to make Theo always feel like this.

  “I love you.” The confession tore from Theo’s lips as he reached for orgasm. Everything felt too good, especially his heart.

  “Then marry me.”

  Theo went from being a half second away from orgasm to frozen. He stared at Jessie. Jessie was still buried inside him and he looked completely calm—like this wasn’t a whim.

  Jessie massaged every place he could reach while he waited for Theo’s answer. When Theo couldn’t find his voice, Jessie pushed. “I’m serious, Theo. Marry me. Let Aspen be our honeymoon. I love you and I think I have since the moment I set eyes on you. You’re the one for me.”

  “Okay.” It definitely wasn’t the marriage proposal of his dreams, if he had ever thought to dream of such a thing, but it was still magical. The way Jessie lit at his response, and then fell on Theo like a man possessed, made all the romantic gestures in the world look dull. Jessie kissed Theo deep as he rocked inside him, hitting the right spot while creating all the friction between them. Theo’s entire body burned. He focused on the pleasure, letting it grow. Then, the spring that had been winding tight broke. Theo’s body jerked. An orgasm rocked him, tearing a cry from his throat. Jessie threw his head back and strained. Theo couldn’t look away as Jessie came. It was beautiful. His eyes stung. They were beautiful. Maybe they had started out in the oddest of ways and found love where no one else would have, but they were right together. Theo wouldn’t let doubt destroy them again. They would show the world how much true love could survive.

  Eleven

  Jessie loved Aspen. He couldn’t recall the last time he had seen snow. Not that Theo and he had seen much of anything other than the inside of their cabin. They were truly newlyweds in every way. Jessie freely admitted he couldn’t keep his hands to himself and had no plans on trying. He did feel a bit guilty about one thing, though. They hadn’t told anyone other than Ezra they were getting married. In fact, they had well and truly eloped. They had packed their bags, snagged Johnny, and shown up on Ezra’s doorstep. They had married in Ezra’s living room before sneaking away to Colorado.

  Jessie promised Ezra they would have a big wedding later and let Ezra plan the entire event. Hopefully, that would appease everyone who would be hurt by their need for privacy. Jessie just didn’t have a big wedding in him right now. While he was better, some days were still hard. Stress still wasn’t his friend. Thankfully, Theo turned his body to jelly and kept him totally relaxed... except when he had Jessie hard, which Jessie was in danger of right now while watching Theo pour their hot chocolate. That was it. That was all it took, and Jessie was a mess.

  Theo smiled as he carried two cups Jessie’s way. His hair was a mess and he wore only flannel pajama pants. He was the most beautiful thing Jessie had ever set eyes upon in all his years of living. Theo handed Jessie one of the cups before joining him on the floor in front of the fireplace. “Where were we?”

  A smile tugged at the corners of Jessie’s mouth. “You were at the part where the bad guy was about to give his monologue.”

  With
a nod, Theo picked up the comic book. He gave Jessie a very schoolteacher-like look over the edge of the book. “Remember our deal. Three more pages and then you have to write. Extended honeymoon or not, I’m not letting you give up your dreams. Okay?”

  Jessie bit his bottom lip to stop himself from smiling like an idiot. “Okay.”

  With a sharp nod, Theo went back to reading while Jessie stared at his mouth and didn’t hear a word. Theo didn’t realize it, but he was the only one who hadn’t stopped believing in him. No one else thought Jessie had any songs left in him to write. Everyone else on the planet believed Jessie’s musical talent had died with his band. While it was true he wouldn’t likely play on stage ever again, Theo hadn’t stopped pushing him to create. That was real love. It was a love only another artist understood. Jessie didn’t think Theo realized it, but he had a creative genius living inside him too.

  “You should start narrating comic books online. I love listening to you. I can’t think I’m the only one who would love to listen to you all the time. You’re a natural at voice acting.”

  Theo blushed and kept reading. Jessie knew Theo meant to pretend Jessie had never suggested such a thing. Unfortunately for Theo, the idea was already in Jessie’s head. He would push Theo toward something he loved, because Theo would do the same for him. Jessie couldn’t stop staring at him. Love damn near choked Jessie. When Theo had holed up in Jessie’s pool house, Jessie never dreamed that dirty and homeless kid would burrow his way inside Jessie’s heart and set up shop. It just went to show that no one knew who would be set in their path to save them. He couldn’t imagine his life without Theo now. But Jessie knew one thing with absolute certainty, he would never have to live without him again. They were written in the stars.

  Keep an eye out for the next Candied Crush, Beautifully Angelic.

  Please consider leaving a review on Amazon. Reviews really help with a book’s visibility, which ensures I can continue writing. Thank you, Charity.