The Fall of the Red Queen (Self Made Men...Southern Style Book 3)

by Lexxi Callahan

“Did he have a special rosary or Bible that you would like to use?” Father Tommy asked.

  Her stomach heaved, and she choked on a bitter laugh. A Bible?

  “Madlyn,” Jared said, distracting her from throwing up everywhere. “He probably has the one they used when he was sworn in as a judge.”

  Relief had her tearing up again. Of course. She should’ve known that. She couldn’t think straight. There was a Bible in his office.

  “It’s not formally part of the rites, but have you considered a eulogy?” Father Tommy asked. “The Governor has offered.”

  “The Governor?”

  “Madlyn,” Father Tommy said gently. “I don’t believe you understand the scope of this funeral. Father Joseph and I believe you should hold a reception here after the service. You will never be able to accommodate all the people attending at your grandfather’s home.”

  “All the people?” she echoed, dread slithering across her skin. She pushed to her feet, swallowing back the scream that had been clawing at her throat all day. Her grandfather was gone. He really was gone. They were planning his funeral. It was like waking up from a bad dream.

  And the world she woke up in was not a world she knew how to function in. Without fear driving her every decision, every move, she didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know what came next. She didn’t…

  “Breathe,” Jared said, and she looked around, startled to find she had moved across the room and he’d followed. “Inhale, Madlyn.”

  Her lungs responded to the steel in his voice, and she almost choked on the sudden rush of oxygen. Her head spun. But she exhaled and took another deep breath.

  “He’s dead,” she whispered, not recognizing her voice.

  “Yes,” he confirmed for her, his expression solemn and full of concern.

  “Tell me I’m not dreaming.”

  “You’re not dreaming.” He brushed a stray hair behind her ear.

  “The Governor is coming to the funeral.” She said it out loud in order to come to terms with it. It didn’t help.

  “Grant wants to do the eulogy if you’ll let him,” Jared said gently.

  “Why would he want to do that?”

  Jared shrugged. “It’s a great opportunity for him politically, but it’s also my father’s way of showing you’re with us. He’s closing ranks.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “I warned you that he always gets what he wants,” Jared smiled, a mixture of pride and irony lighting his face.

  She choked again as it all broke free inside her. “But they don’t need me anymore. There’s no investigation.”

  “Why are you so surprised? You’re going to have offers from every firm in the state now that the old man has gone.”

  She nodded as if she understood, but it was only starting to dawn on her how much her life had changed the instant her grandfather had stopped breathing. She hadn’t thought past Robbie. Her career had never meant much to her. Now, standing in that parish office, the world was suddenly spread out at her feet.

  She squeezed the hands that held hers, knowing the next decision she had to make was an easy one. Because it was not only finally accepting a position she’d never dared dream of, it also set Jared free. “Yes, Grant should do the eulogy.”

  She smiled at him, her vision clearing as she turned back to Father Tommy. “Grant Marshall will do the eulogy, Father, maybe the Governor could just say a few words.”

  Jared left the engine running for a few minutes when they pulled up at Madlyn’s house. He hated to wake her. She looked ready to dissolve at the lightest touch.

  “Maddie,” he whispered into the cool interior of the car. “Wake up. You’re home.”

  She turned towards him, her eyes still closed but her mouth curving into the first honest smile he’d ever seen from her. She was finally starting to accept the old man was really gone.

  Jared was glad the old man was dead. He’d taken perverse pleasure in helping arrange that old bastard’s funeral. Choosing that casket had been a more satisfying victory than putting the Judge in jail would have been. Sealing up his body in a crypt would put an end to his reign of terror.

  The back door opened at the same time Madlyn stepped out of the car. Robbie met her halfway, throwing himself at her and almost knocking her back on her feet. Jared smiled, watching her close her arms around the boy, pressing kisses to his hair and holding him tightly.

  It broke something in him, seeing her with her son. Seeing all that love and affection and humanity she kept so tightly guarded from everyone else.

  “Robbie,” Stefan said as he joined them. “You and Jared get the rest of your things out of the truck so I can talk to your mom.”

  Jared didn’t like the wintry expression in Stefan’s eyes. The last thing he wanted to do was leave her alone with him.

  “Go,” Madlyn urged. “It’s okay.”

  He gave Stefan another warning look, then followed Robbie to the truck still loaded with boxes.

  Madlyn watched Jared hand Robbie a box before grabbing up two.

  “He’s a good guy,” Stefan said, pulling her attention around to him. He nodded past her at Jared. “Try not to skin him alive.”

  Madlyn ignored the barb. “Did Gary give you any trouble?”

  “Robbie has bruises on his arms,” Stefan snapped, his voice low.

  Ice scraped at her skin. “What?”

  “That motherfucker put his hands on him. We packed all his stuff. He's not going back to that house with your sister and that piece of shit.”

  She shivered, the menace in Stefan’s voice worse than anything she’d ever heard. She started to tell him she was never taking Robbie back there when he cut her off.

  “If you send that boy back to your sister, I will make you regret it for the rest of your life.”

  Her jaw dropped as she stared up into blue eyes white with rage. Did he really think she would do that? Of course he did. She’d spent a decade making sure they all believed that.

  “You will let him stay here for the next few nights. During the funeral, he stays with us. He doesn’t need to be exposed to that circus.”

  She nodded because she couldn’t speak.

  Stefan shoved his fingers through his hair, and she caught the slight tremor. What was left of her heart bled out. She’d known she’d hurt him, but she hadn’t realized quite how much.

  She started to speak, but he cut her off with one cold look and shook his head. “No. We’ll talk later.”

  She nodded, watching as he went to help with the rest of the boxes. Her grandfather might be gone, but fundamentally nothing had changed. Everyone still thought she was the evil Red Queen, except for her son.

  And Jared.

  As if she conjured him up, his arms slid around her waist from behind. “I get your choices, Madlyn. I even think they were the right ones, but this can’t continue. You have to tell Stefan the truth.”

  “No.” She shook her head, absorbing all that heat and strength and dragging him deeper into her darkness. “This is better,” she whispered, squeezing her eyes shut against everything as she let herself have this moment in his arms. It was better for them to hate her than to know the truth. She could handle it, even as sharp and jagged as the pain was. She would carry that.

  “You can’t tell them. Not ever.”

  His arms tightened around her, but she couldn’t feel it anymore. She’d gone past sensation of any kind. She was at the place where she could cope because she felt nothing.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Father Joseph and Father Tommy had been right about the number of people who would attend the wake and funeral. Madlyn watched the entire thing from somewhere just outside her body as she stood at the head of her grandfather’s casket, shaking hands with an excruciatingly long line of people.

  An outsider looking in would believe a great man had died. Politicians had descended on the event, eager for their opportunity to be photographed grieving. Even the national news media were
in attendance. All their coverage glossed over their earlier attempts to excoriate him in the press. The hypocrisy of it was hard to swallow. She wanted it over. The only thing that kept her from releasing the silent screams echoing in her head was the arm that stayed curved around her waist, the fingers gentle but steady against her rib cage.

  Jared didn’t leave her. Not even for a minute. He was beyond elegant in the gunmetal gray suit she’d goaded him into buying. The lighter gray striped tie she’d selected was knotted perfectly at his throat, covering all traces of the ink she knew swirled beneath. He demonstrated more political acumen than his brother and the Governor combined. He could be charming, reassuring, and sympathetic with enough humor that it never seemed inappropriate, but somehow whoever he talked to felt uplifted as he skillfully shook hands, then moved them past her without them even realizing what he was doing.

  Even the Governor was dazzled. She met Grant’s eyes a few times, and he just gave her a helpless smile. Grant knew it, too. Jared was a brilliant waste of untapped potential in the world his brother and father ruled. In the world they still wanted her to take part in, having made it clear her office was ready when she was. But a world she and Grant knew would destroy Jared.

  And that was the main reason she’d signed the paperwork only hours ago, formally accepting the partnership. She just hoped setting Jared free would make up for the darkness she’d forced him to face.

  But she refused to let that darkness have any more of him. When things settled down, she would set him free another way. She was not pulling him any deeper into her abyss.

  Only a handful of people attended the very short graveside service. She and Jared didn’t return to the reception at the church. When they pulled up at Stefan and Jen’s, there was a barbeque in full swing in their backyard.

  “Can you go get Robbie?” she asked, giving in to the cowardly instinct to just stay in the car. She couldn’t face the animosity she knew they would all mask for her son’s sake. She was exhausted mentally and physically.

  “They’re expecting us for lunch.”

  “No. I can’t,” she whispered, feeling inexplicably betrayed. She couldn’t deal with Stefan today.

  “You have to, Maddie,” Jared said, pointing past her to the back porch where Robbie was sitting between Stefan and Nic on the porch swing. He was laughing and showing them something on his new cell phone. “He’s been helping Jen all day. They made a cake. He won’t understand why you don’t want to be here. He doesn’t understand why you weren’t around on the weekends he spent with Stefan and Jen. He thought you were angry at him.”

  “What weekends with Stefan and Jen?” She turned in her seat, her voice strangled. “What are you talking about?”

  “You didn’t know Stefan got court-ordered visitation?”

  “No,” Madlyn choked on the word. “No one told me. I hadn’t seen him since that day Jen and I took him to the aquarium. Then when my grandfather got out of jail—”

  “Was that why you were helping the Warren brothers? He let you have Robbie?”

  She nodded, unable to really speak.

  “I know you, Madlyn. How could he have possibly kept you away from Robbie if you wanted to see him?”

  She swallowed past the pain in her throat. “He had a restraining order.”

  “You’re not serious.”

  “I’m completely serious. One of his buddies signed off on it. They did it all the time. That’s why I was at his house Sunday. He’d forgotten he was letting Robbie stay with me, so he called Suzanne to come get him. He gave Suzanne a restraining order in a sealed envelope in case I showed up to get Robbie. He’d done this so many times she didn’t open the envelope. She just took his word for it. But when I confronted him, I realized that it was an old one and…”

  Reality crashed back into her like a freight train, scattering all the numbing shock she’d been hiding behind. She’d forgotten the argument. The things she’d threatened him with. The things she’d said that had caused him to…

  “Madlyn,” Jared said, his voice rough as he reached for her.

  “No!” She scrambled as far as she could. She didn’t want him touching her. Didn’t want the blood on her hands to touch him.

  “I can tell what you’re thinking…this wasn’t your fault.” He snapped the door locks back down before she could get out. “He had a stroke.”

  “I told him about Trip Kincaid. That I would expose him to the DOJ. He did it, you know. I’ve had proof all these years that West JDC kept prisoners incarcerated past their release date to collect money from FEMA.” She covered her face with her shaking hands. She didn’t want him looking at her. She didn’t want anyone to see her. How could she face her son? “He said no one would believe me. So I threatened to tell Robbie what he’d done to his father. I knew it would push him over the edge.”

  His hands wrapped around her wrists, and he pulled her hands away from her face. “He had a stroke. That wasn’t your fault.”

  “I wanted to push him over the edge.” Everything inside her started to turn inside out. “I did it. I wanted him dead.”

  “That’s not true.”

  “The Warrens wanted to build a diminished capacity defense. I threatened him with that, too. Don’t you get it? I’m just like him.”

  “No!” Jared exploded so fast, her entire body froze. “You are nothing like that old man. You protect the people you love, no matter what it costs. Look out there.” He pointed out the window.

  She shook her head, not wanting to see. He made her look, and Jen had just walked outside with a plate of cookies. She kissed Stefan while Robbie took the cookies. It was a greeting-card perfect scene. Too perfect and wholesome to be real.

  “You did that!” Jared said, his mouth close to her ear as she watched them laughing, Robbie refusing to let Stefan have a cookie. “That’s what you’ve spent ten years protecting. They are happy and they are safe and they have no idea what it has cost you to keep things that way for them.”

  “I don’t want them to know,” she whispered.

  “I get that, but one day you are going to have to tell them. You can’t keep this inside you forever, Madlyn.”

  “Yes, I can. I would die before I let Robbie find out.”

  His forehead touched her shoulder, and his voice was shaky. “Because you love him. You love all of them. That’s why you’re not like him. You couldn’t be like him if you tried. You’re not the monster or the evil queen, Madlyn. You’re the white knight. When are you going to get that?”

  She went so still as the world stopped around her.

  You’re the white knight.

  His words exploded inside her like glass. The shrapnel rushed through her, shredding absolutely everything. She turned without even realizing what she was doing. His arms barely got around her before ten years of anger, loss, and grief hit her at the same time.

  Jared held her, squeezing his eyes shut as sobs wracked her body. She was falling apart in his arms, and all he could do was hold her. He should’ve kept his mouth shut. She’d had enough to deal with for the past few days. He’d had no right to put her through more.

  And now, as he absorbed those anguished tears, he searched for the right words. She needed him, but worse, he needed her. This prickly, broken woman was going to tear him apart as soon as she realized he was holding her. When this storm passed and she started to think straight again, she would pull away‏‏. Because she believed that she was bad for him. As if living his life without a heart beating in his chest was an improvement over her. He would survive longer without water than he would without her.

  He knew it was coming, and he wasn’t sure he could go through it again. But he wouldn’t leave her yet, not until she told him to. He’d walk away then and try to do it with his pride still intact. He’d accept Elliot’s offer. It was suddenly the only lifeline he could see. Running Elliot’s kitchen would keep him so busy he wouldn’t have time to feel anything.

  Her hands pressed against
his chest as she tried to push away. He didn’t want to let her go. She was still trembling and desperately trying to get herself back under control. She glanced up at him. Pale, with her face wrecked by tears, she was still the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

  “You forgot handkerchiefs,” he said gruffly.

  The shuddering stopped. “What?” she sniffed, her voice trembling.

  He eased back from her, reluctantly letting her move away. “When you made me buy grown-up clothes, you forgot handkerchiefs. I’d offer you one if I had one.” He pulled the pocket square out of the false pocket. “This is useless.”

  She tried to smile up at him, but she couldn’t quite manage it. He tried not to react to the fresh tears streaming down her face. She looked younger and unsure of herself and so vulnerable it broke his heart.

  And he hated it. He wanted his spitting cobra back.

  “And you forgot cufflinks,” he accused in mock disgust. “I can’t believe you expected me to be satisfied with buttons.”

  She reached out with one hand, a sad smile lighting her features as she touched him. “My mistake,” she whispered, her voice destroyed from the emotional breakdown she was slowly coming back from. “I like you with bling.”

  Relief speared through him, and his eyes burned. He pulled her back into his arms, and she came willingly, like she belonged there.

  “Thank you,” she added, swallowing back more tears.

  “No more Red Queen.” He tried to make it sound like an order, but they both knew it was a plea as his arms tightened around her and he rested his cheek on the top of her head.

  “Okay.” She nodded, swallowing hard and letting him hold her. “No more Red Queen.”

  Their car doors shutting broke up the picture perfect scene on the back porch. Robbie stood waiting for her, Stefan’s hand protectively on his shoulder. He let go when she was closer, and Robbie closed the distance, holding out his hands for her.

  She hugged him close, her heart breaking because she knew he was worried about her.

  “I’m sorry about Pop,” he whispered, his voice shaky.