Since I Saw You

by BETH KERY

  Until she’d left him. Or he’d sacrificed Diana to his pride and left her. Kam had never really figured out which.

  After that catastrophe, he hadn’t even bothered to rein in his instinct for isolation. He’d been entranced by Diana’s elegance and sophistication, her beautiful body and a face that could make a man like him crazed, it was so beyond his experience. He’d been hypnotized into sacrificing his freedom.

  It suddenly struck him that the more refined Kam had recently made a reappearance since coming to Chicago. Yes, his cosmopolitan impression was less consistent than it had once been, and probably a hell of a lot less convincing. But he’d definitely been donning the once-familiar role again.

  He’d been doing it because of Lin, and for no other reason.

  “Kam?” Lin murmured a minute later as he pulled on his pants, her sleep-roughened voice in the darkness causing goose bumps to rise on his neck and arms.

  “Yeah. Sorry. Didn’t mean to wake you. I thought I should go. I’m moving over to the apartment in the morning.”

  “I’ll send a driver to the hotel who can help you transport all your things,” Lin said in a hushed voice.

  “It’s okay,” he assured, whipping on his shirt and buttoning it rapidly. “I can carry it all, no problem. I’ll take a cab.” He hesitated next to the bed, now fully dressed. Her low, melodious voice, graceful arms and soft-looking form beneath body-warmed covers pulled at his consciousness.

  “I’ll see you at two o’clock?” he said, reaching for his discarded jacket.

  “What?”

  “At the new apartment,” he reminded her, determinedly looking away from the appealing vision of her. “You said you’d be my test subject.”

  “Oh. Right. Okay,” she said sleepily.

  “Ian told me that you have a workout facility for the managers at Noble. Do you use it?”

  “Yes,” Lin said, sounding a little puzzled.

  “Can you use it sometime before you come to the apartment tomorrow? I’ll send over a sensor and some instructions. I’ll need to get your resting and exercise heart rate and your blood pressure. This part of the protocol is pretty straightforward. Just use the instructions and then bring the sensor with you when you come. I’ll extract the information from it. I’ll send over a quick questionnaire about your general medical history, too.”

  “Sure. I’ll just do my workout before work.”

  “Good. I’ll see you this afternoon then.” He started for the door.

  “Kam?”

  He paused. “Yeah.”

  “Thank you for a nice night.”

  For some reason, discomfort swamped him. He didn’t know what to say. He almost walked out the door without a word, but instead found himself taking two long strides back to the bedside. He leaned down and kissed her, at first hard, and then lingering.

  Which made it all that much harder to walk away a moment later.

  • • •

  “Did you hear anything back from the courier service we hired to pick up Angus from the airport?” Lin asked Maria the next day after she’d finished her workout. She carried the surprisingly small sensor that Kam had delivered to her in order to gather data. He’d been right; using it had been straightforward and easy.

  “Yes. The ‘goods’ are supposed to arrive at O’Hare at two forty-five this afternoon. Given the check-in time and evening traffic, Angus should be downtown by four thirty or so,” the administrative assistant told her, smiling. “I actually wish I could be there to see Mr. Reardon’s surprise. I got the impression from Phoebe Cane, the woman who was watching Angus, that they have quite a relationship.”

  “Kam and his dog?” Lin murmured, distracted.

  “Well, now that I think of it . . . them, too.”

  Lin blinked, her gaze sharpening on Maria where she sat at her desk. The small hairs on her nape seemed to stand on end. She walked toward the other woman.

  “What do you mean?”

  Maria chuckled and shook her head, as if to say, It’s nothing of consequence. It suddenly felt as if she’d swallowed lead. Lin smiled congenially, even though her lips felt stiff.

  “Are you suggesting that Kam and this Phoebe woman are an . . . item?”

  “She certainly asked a lot of personal questions about Mr. Reardon for your typical dog watcher,” Maria responded with a significant glance.

  “Well it’s not too surprising, I suppose.” Lin attempted to make light of the matter. “Kam’s a very good-looking man. He’s bound to get a lot of attention from the women in that village.”

  “Right,” Maria said, turning to her computer.

  Lin wavered in her heels. Something in Maria’s tone told her there was more to the story. “What sort of things did this Phoebe woman say?” Lin asked, despising herself for not being able to just walk away and dismiss the whole thing.

  “Oh, the usual things like, whether or not Kam seemed to be enjoying his stay in the States, when he was returning, and if he missed Angus and Aurore Manor.”

  “Anything not so typical?”

  “Well,” said Maria, turning and putting her elbows on the desk and leaning toward Lin in a confidential, girl-talk manner. “She did mention that Angus was having trouble sleeping and had run away on several occasions. Then Ms. Cane made a comment like, ‘Angus is just like her master. I can’t keep him in my bed for more than an hour or two before he gets restless and is running for the countryside as well.’”

  “Oh, yes, I see what you mean,” Lin said with a small laugh before she walked to her office and shut the door.

  For a stretched minute, she just stared out the floor-to-ceiling windows with her back pressed to the closed door, her brain vibrating with tidbits of memory and the knowledge Maria had just casually imparted. She heard Kam’s voice in her head.

  I wouldn’t have had sex with you last night if there were someone special.

  But how significant was that? Just because he spent a couple of hours a week in this woman’s—Phoebe’s—bed didn’t imply she was his girlfriend.

  Or that you are.

  A blush of mortification heated her cheek at the thought. What was she, an eleventh grader? Of course she wasn’t Kam’s girlfriend. She was a mature woman who was sharing a private, extremely gratifying sexual relationship with a very attractive single man. Why was she getting so shaken up about the idea of discovering he had a bedmate in France?

  She vividly recalled awakening in the early morning and seeing his tall, large form standing in the shadows as he hastily pulled on his clothes. His nighttime exit hadn’t really bothered her all that much at the time, and whatever doubts had started to creep in were quickly silenced by his searing kiss before he left.

  The realization that this was typical behavior for Kam, that he was known for not staying in a woman’s bed far beyond what it took for the essentials, shouldn’t have caused that jolt of icy anxiety to go through her.

  It shouldn’t have, but it did.

  Lin pushed herself off the door and approached her desk, tossing the sensor on the blotter. She knew from years of experience of coping with unrequited feelings that there was one rational way to silence her anxieties: work. She put on her glasses and hunkered down behind her desk, a detailed financial report in front of her.

  Much to her chagrin, it was harder for her to rein her mind in today than it had ever been on any occasion when she was heartsore over Ian.

  Chapter Ten

  Kam opened the door to his new temporary apartment at two that afternoon.

  “Hello,” he said, his gaze lowering over her in a manner Lin was determined to ignore.

  “Hi.”

  His head lowered. She felt herself panicking. His lips brushed hers. He smelled so good. For a few seconds, her lips responded to his kiss without her giving them permission to do so. Something snapped
like a whip inside her.

  She abruptly shoved an envelope that held the sensor and the completed medical information sheet into his hand and walked past him.

  “Any problems with the sensor?” he asked after a pause, even though he sounded a bit puzzled.

  “No, it was simple to use, just like you said,” Lin replied airily.

  During the past several hours, she’d forced her anxieties into neat storage at the corners of her consciousness. She’d open the containers and rifle through the difficult contents when she felt more in control of her emotions. But one of Kam’s deep kisses could easily rattle something loose and cause some real damage as it bounced dangerously around her brain.

  “This is a great place. And only three floors away from Ian and Francesca,” she said, walking into the spacious, luxurious living room that was furnished with a pleasing combination of substantial Asian antiques and modern, comfortable couches and chairs. She turned when she reached the center of the room.

  “Yeah. Francesca already asked me to the penthouse for lunch.”

  She arched her eyebrows and gave him a cautious glance. She knew he might quickly feel claustrophobic if family members pushed themselves on him too greatly. It wasn’t that Kam didn’t like his new family—Lin thought he had in fact grown very fond of them. He just wasn’t a fan of frequent attention and chitchat.

  “And did you go?” she asked.

  He shrugged as if the answer would be obvious. “Have you ever tasted Mrs. Hanson’s cooking?” he asked, referring to Ian’s longtime housekeeper.

  “Yes, it’s fabulous. I never turn down an offer for Mrs. Hanson’s meals, either. Did you get all your things transferred over from the hotel all right?” she asked, her manner perfectly friendly. Lin was an expert at unruffled amiability.

  He nodded, his gaze narrowing on her. He followed her into the living room. From her peripheral vision, she’d noticed that he looked rugged and extremely appealing wearing a pair of faded jeans and a steel-blue button-down shirt that made his gray eyes look especially light in comparison. If only she’d known, she would have bought him uglier clothing, she thought, disguising her spike of irritation at his potent good looks.

  “Yeah, and I have all my equipment set up,” he said, pointing at small mechanical device with various wires and electrodes set up on the coffee table. As she watched, Kam extricated the sensor he’d given her and plugged it into the device. One of the wires connected to a laptop computer sitting on the couch. Another computer was turned on, but wasn’t attached to the compact machine.

  “Great. We should probably get started,” she said. She removed her coat and draped it on a chair. “I have a few things I need to get done before I go home and dress for our meeting tonight.”

  She noticed his expression stiffen. “We have to get all dressed up again?”

  “Yes. I haven’t had a chance to tell you, but I was able to get tickets for opening night at the opera. Jason is so excited. The opening night festivities begin at six, but we aren’t due to meet Jason until six thirty. Otello will follow. We’ll have a late dinner afterward to discuss business. You’ll have to wear the tux we got you.”

  His expression flattened. Unwanted guilt swooped through her. God, she was a bitch. She’d made the change of plans just an hour ago, knowing perfectly well Kam would be uncomfortable with the alteration. And why had she done it? Because she’d experienced some petty jealousy over the discovery of his French lover? Or was it because she’d come to understand that casual affairs were commonplace to him?

  You need him off balance, she told herself fairly. He was getting to her more than she liked. Look at what she’d let him do to her in that restaurant last night. If she needed no other proof of her vulnerability when it came to him, it was that. And it wasn’t as if she hadn’t explained to Kam that they’d be engaging in some activities that he’d find vaguely uncomfortable. That’s why she was there, after all, to alleviate his disquietude.

  “Right. Tux. Opening night. Your old boyfriend. Sounds like a load of laughs,” he mumbled, flipping a couple of switches on the sleek little mechanism on the table.

  “Jason isn’t my old boyfriend,” she said. “It was a very casual affair. You know the type.”

  He glanced over at her, his dark brows scrunched together, a puzzled scowl on his face.

  “What’s wrong?” he demanded abruptly.

  “Nothing,” she said, returning his puzzlement with a warm smile. “Are you ready to get started?”

  He opened his mouth to respond and seemed to think better of whatever he was going to say. He pushed one more button and straightened. “Yeah. If you are. You’ll just have to take off your clothes.”

  She laughed. He quirked his eyebrows in a wry expression.

  “You’re not serious. Are you?” she asked, her voice ringing with shock when he just waited expectantly.

  “Of course I am. I need to attach the electrodes at all your pulse points to gather baseline data.”

  For a few pregnant seconds she just stood there, her mouth hanging open, all of her easy indifference evaporated. Dread crept into her awareness. She had a vivid memory of him grasping her wrist at Savaur that first night and her subsequent fear that he’d been aware of her anxiety. Her excitement.

  He would read her like an open book with his machine.

  She was out of her mind for having agreed to this. Nothing could have been more anxiety provoking to her in that moment than the idea of Kam Reardon getting inside and rifling through her interior world. Her secrets.

  “Why can’t I apply the electrodes myself? Isn’t that what you plan for owners’ of the watches?”

  “Yes, but we don’t have a test protocol yet for teaching the customer how to gather the data. Either myself or a trained medical professional should do it in the meantime in order to get accurate information.”

  “Surely you can just do it with my clothes on,” she protested weakly.

  He gave her a dry glance and picked up on of the nodes from the table. “I held you for most of the night while we were both naked. We had sex—a lot of it—just hours ago. I can’t believe you’re shy about taking off your clothes in front of me.”

  “Well I am,” she said defensively before she could stop herself. “Did all your other test subjects have to be in front of you naked?”

  “No,” he stated bluntly. “My human subjects wore a medical gown. But I don’t have one here.” He exhaled, frowning when he noticed her defensive stance. “Are you going to tell me what’s bothering you, or not?” he repeated.

  “Nothing is bothering me,” she lied. She cast about for an out for this impossible scenario, but came up with nothing. She was supposed to be assisting him in this project that Ian had arranged for him, and gathering data for a product demonstration was a major part of that. What’s more, she’d agreed to it yesterday. If she backed out now, it’d highlight her vulnerability all the more.

  “Fine. But I’m leaving on my bra and underwear.”

  “I can work around the bra, but you’ll have to take off your underwear.”

  She gasped in disbelief at his matter-of-fact reply. His expression went hard as he studied her. Too late, she realized she was tipping her hand.

  “Wrap a towel around yourself if you want,” he said, his mouth hard. She understood his annoyance. Where was her modesty, after all, when she’d been shaking in orgasm in a public place beneath the forbidden magic of his stroking hands? “Guest bath, first door to the left,” he said pointing the hallway. “Towels are under the sink.”

  She strode down the hallway, her backbone erect. She tried to hold her head up just as high when she returned to the living room a moment later, but it was hard to be regal and aloof while clutching a towel around her naked body.

  “Come over here,” Kam requested distractedly when she stood awkwardly in the center of
the room. As she approached him, something Kam had said to her in the past sprung into her mind against her will.

  What lengths would you go to in the name of service to Ian?

  Apparently, monumental ones, she thought bitterly as she allowed Kam to seat her on the couch next to the computer. Except she wasn’t doing this for Ian. She was doing it for herself; proving to herself that she could handle Kam without turning and running like a scared fool.

  Her hair was down today. She started when he dragged his long fingers through it, drawing it away from her face. Shivers made a web work of sensation just beneath her skin. She backed away an inch or two.

  “What are you doing?” she demanded.

  He looked down at her from his standing position, his hands still in her hair. In her sitting position before him, her face was less than a foot from the zipper of his jeans.

  “I have to apply electrodes to your temporal and facial arteries. I’m just brushing your hair away from your face. Is that okay?” he asked, looking fierce.

  “Of course,” she said, feeling flustered and hating it. “Is this going to hurt?” she asked anxiously when he picked up a small electrode with a wire attached to it.

  “Not at all,” he said. “I’m just reading your body, not doing anything intrusive. Just try to relax.”

  Lin swallowed thickly as he ran two calloused fingertips over her right temple, finding her pulse. He peeled the paper off the back of the electrode and pressed it to her skin, his actions rapid and knowing. Just reading your body. Not doing anything intrusive. Funny, it felt very intrusive to her. Well, not intrusive, exactly, but alarmingly . . .