Since I Saw You

by BETH KERY

  “With Reardon Technologies?” Ian asked pointedly.

  “Yes,” Kam replied without pause. He knew what Ian was angling at, but he wasn’t ready to discuss his personal feelings for Lin, especially when he hadn’t even had that discussion with Lin yet. “Of course, Lin might feel differently,” he admitted grimly under his breath. “Everyone knows how loyal she is to you and Noble.”

  “So you haven’t spoken to her about any of this yet?”

  “No,” Kam said. “I plan to talk to her about that when she gets back. She might suspect something. I’m not sure. She’s kind of hard to read sometimes.”

  “She says the same thing about you. I agreed with her. You’ve certainly gone and proved us right in this case,” Ian said, frowning. He turned and faced Kam. “You care about her? You truly do? Because maybe I could start to accept this . . . maybe I could maybe even start to feel good about it if it’s what Lin wants and you assured me her feelings and her future are a priority for you.”

  Kam met his stare unwaveringly. “You can feel good about it,” he said simply.

  Ian held his gaze for several long seconds before he nodded once slowly. “Well, it’s not as if I haven’t had a sneaking suspicion something volatile was happening between you two. I’ve sensed something was about to erupt, but I didn’t guess this. I won’t deny that there have been many times I’ve regretted not being able to offer Lin more. Not money. She’s one of the top-paid executives in the United States. I mean more of Noble itself. She deserves more for all the work she’s done in the past.”

  “I agree,” Kam said.

  Ian’s eyes flashed in residual anger at Kam’s steadfast reply, but then he seemed to calm himself. “You have to understand. It’s not the wealth I don’t want to share. I don’t care about that. I’ve just never been good about sharing decisions when it comes to my company.”

  “I’m not blaming you for the way you want to run your business, Ian. Lin wouldn’t, either. I heard her defending you to Klinf. She was sincere. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t deserve more.”

  Ian blinked and shook his head as if suddenly weary. “You’re right. I don’t know what I’m going to do without her at work,” he said hollowly.

  I don’t know what I’d do without her. Period, Kam thought.

  Kam shrugged and headed over to the sideboard, reaching for two glasses. They both could use a drink. “No reason to panic,” he told Ian, pouring some bourbon from a decanter. “The lady hasn’t spoken yet.” He walked over to Ian and handed him the glass. Ian just studied the golden-brown liquid for several seconds, lost in thought.

  “To Lin,” Ian said finally, holding up the bourbon.

  “To Lin. And her future,” Kam replied.

  • • •

  Lin thought a lot about Kam on her trip. She used his innovative device and thought of him and his brilliance. It was amazing, to learn about the rhythms of her own body, to come to understand how certain events, environments, and interactions made her respond. She started to feel more connected to her flesh than she ever had before, the biofeedback mechanism making her consider her physical being in a whole new way.

  Lying alone in her hotel room at night, she could think of nothing but Kam and his challenging, intensely pleasurable lovemaking, his devilish smile, the knowing gleam in his silvery-gray eyes. She missed him so much.

  They spoke on the phone on Monday night, Lin thanking him profusely for the gorgeous pearls and praising his device almost nonstop. A startling amount of people had noticed and commented on the watch, including many of her business associates in San Francisco. Lin had talked ebulliently about the mechanism, and saw firsthand the fascination and curiosity people immediately had for it. Kam had a future phenomenon on his hands. She asked him point-blank during a phone conversation if he planned to start up his own company sooner rather than later, and he’d admitted that it was his hope to jump right in versus waiting.

  By the time she landed at O’Hare on Wednesday morning, she was feeling energized and excited, looking forward to the Gersbach demonstration that afternoon. She’d thought the device was fascinating before, but now that she’d become familiar with it on a firsthand basis, she was enthusiastic in a way she’d never before been about a product.

  She was brimming with excitement for the Gersbach meeting because of the product, but she was ten times as thrilled at the idea of seeing Kam again.

  Brigit and Otto Gersbach came for the demonstration in Ian’s office, but Lucien and, of course, Kam were expected to come as well. Lin was seated in her usual chair at the gleaming cherrywood conference table in Ian’s office, casually showing Ian, Brigit, and Otto the Reardon device, singing her praises without a hint of artifice. They were all fascinated. Everyone stood when Kam and Lucien entered the room.

  “Hi,” Lin said breathlessly to Kam after she’d greeted Lucien.

  “Hi,” he returned, as Otto Gersbach shook Lucien’s hand and they exchanged hellos. He looked wonderful to her, not to mention extremely handsome in a dark gray suit with crisp white dress shirt and black-and-silver striped tie. She met his stare, smiling when she saw that familiar knowing gleam in his silvery eyes as he looked down at her. Her lips brushed against his jaw.

  “They already love the watch,” she whispered quietly near his ear.

  “That’s because you’re making it look so good,” he murmured back before he lightly kissed her lips. It wasn’t a professional kiss, technically speaking. For the first time in her life, Lin could have cared less about professional appearances.

  The demonstration went well. She explained to the group about her experience wearing the watch, telling them that once she understood what her stress looked like on the display screen, she could take proactive steps to lower the indicators on the bar graph. Her progress in controlling her body’s stress response grew exponentially with all the regular feedback. She showed them all in real time how she could control potentially negative stress responses by merely focusing on her breath or doing a brief centering exercise.

  “It’s like having a constant mirror for your body,” Lin explained. “It’s hard to learn when things are invisible, but when you see your responses visually or audibly”—she switched the control panel to audio for a series of feedback beeps—“it becomes instinctive to understand and learn from the feedback. I had no idea how my body responded so adversely to landing in an airplane, and don’t even ask me about my response to two caffé macchiatos after a sleepless night,” she said, glancing at Kam fleetingly and repressing a small smile when she saw his knowing look.

  Lin had never seen Otto so smitten and enthusiastic about a product. He insisted that Kam come to Geneva sometime soon in order to show the product to the rest of the Gersbach board of directors. After the demonstration was complete, Kam broke the news that he’d decided not to sell his product wholesale, but would consider a royalty use of his product by Gersbach. Otto wasn’t pleased about this development, but was starting to come around when he saw how steadfast Kam was on the topic.

  Lin’s phone began to ring. “Excuse me for just a moment,” she said quietly when she saw the caller identification, getting up from the conference table and going to the far side of Ian’s extensive office.

  The call was from Emile Savaur, Richard’s partner. Lin took it because she’d been worried by a conversation she’d had with Richard while she’d been in California. His “flu” was not getting better the way it should have if it were a typical bug.

  According to Emile, Richard had gotten worse. Emile had taken him to the hospital, and much to his concern, they’d admitted Richard.

  “I’ll meet you over at Northwestern Memorial as soon as I finish up with this meeting,” she said. Emile had tried to tell her it wasn’t necessary, but when she insisted, he’d sounded relieved.

  “It was Emile calling about Richard St. Claire,” Lin told Lucien whe
n she returned. Lucien was good friends with both Emile and Richard as well, having known the two men since his days in Paris. Everyone seated at the table quieted and listened to Lin. “Emile has taken him to the hospital and they’ve admitted him. They say he has pneumonia.”

  “Is it serious?” Lucien asked, his brow creasing in concern.

  “It sounds like it,” Lin said. “I’m going to head over to the hospital as soon as we’re done here. I won’t be back. I have class tonight,” she reminded Ian. Her gaze transferred to Kam, who nodded in understanding. Had he guessed that she hoped he’d meet her after her dance class like he had last week?

  “I’ll go with you,” Lucien said.

  “I’ll call you in a little bit,” Kam told Lin. She gave him a grateful glance. She hated having to leave when she hadn’t seen him for days, but it would just delay their personal reunion a few hours.

  The meeting came to an end as Lucien and Lin gathered their things, and the Gersbachs extracted a promise from Kam to go to Geneva for a few days the following week.

  • • •

  “Do you know Richard St. Claire?” Kam asked Ian once they were alone in his office.

  Ian nodded. “He’s a nice guy. Young and healthy, too. Seems strange that something like this could happen.”

  “Some of the newer respiratory viruses can be dangerously virulent,” Kam replied.

  “The meeting went well. You were right: that device is a linchpin, a flagship product, not a means to an end for building capital. You’re going to be able to name your terms with Gersbach and any number of other companies.”

  “Thanks,” Kam said, meaning it. He valued Ian’s opinion more than Ian knew. He’d regretted telling him he was going to ask Lin to work with him, even though he was convinced it was the right thing to do. He sat in front of Ian’s desk when Ian took his seat behind it. “Does this mean you’re not pissed at me anymore?”

  Ian leaned back in his leather chair, elbows on the arm rests, fingers forming a bridge near his chin. He considered Kam coolly.

  “It means that if I were in your shoes, I’d probably be doing the same thing. I might not like the idea of you taking Lin from Noble, but given what you plan, even I have to agree it’s a smart move. She’s lit up over that device. She’s practically glowing over it, and when that happens, Lin is impossible to resist. You two are going to have trouble keeping up with the demands for that watch.”

  “You actually think she’ll agree to come with me?”

  “I’ve never seen her so excited about a product. She seems even more enthusiastic about you.”

  Kam cleared his throat in the charged silence that followed.

  Ian gave Kam a pointed, steely glance. “That doesn’t mean part of me won’t be pleased if she turns you down. Still, if she stays with Noble, I hope she does it because it’s what she truly wants, not because she’s worried about being disloyal to me,” Ian conceded.

  “She is loyal to you. No doubt about it,” Kam mused, feeling a little defeated at the very idea. There was no way he could compete with the years of experience, family ties, and close working relationship Lin shared with Ian.

  Ian grimaced slightly and sat forward, bracing his forearms on his desk.

  “Are you doing anything in particular to convince her?”

  Kam blinked. “I told you how I plan to incentivize her.”

  “Not like work incentives. I mean anything personal to set the atmosphere. Woo her. Are you taking her out to a nice dinner, at least, in order to broach the topic?” Ian persisted when Kam just stared at him in blank bemusement. “It’s a big deal what you’re proposing to do. You should do it right.”

  “Are you giving me hints for how to convince Lin to work for me?” Kam asked incredulously.

  “It looks like someone has to,” Ian muttered under his breath. “Take her out to a nice dinner. Order champagne. Get her some flowers.”

  “Flowers?” Kam repeated.

  “Yes,” Ian agreed as if warming to the subject. He picked up his phone and began tapping on the screen. “Get her purple lotuses. They’re her favorite. I’ll give you the number of the only florist in town that sells them. The owner grows them specifically for me to get for Lin. They’re extremely rare flowers. I’ve texted you the number of the florist,” he said, setting down his phone. “Kam?” he asked when Kam just sat there, frozen.

  A strange wind seemed to be rushing in his ears. A vision of all those carefully preserved lotus flowers sitting in Lin’s bedside table drawer flashed before his eyes.

  Lin had said she’d been in love before. When Kam had asked her what had happened she’d said . . .

  . . . Nothing. Absolutely nothing. He was someone else’s, never mine.

  He heard her voice as if she’d just spoken. She’d sounded sad. Resigned. If there was one woman he knew who could contain her sadness and pain and face each day with a determined smile, it was Lin. He’d always sensed that trace of sadness to her, a hint of loneliness. He just hadn’t fully realized the origins of it until now.

  Lin was in love with Ian. Of course she was. She’d never revealed her secret because she’d sensed Ian didn’t return her feelings.

  She was attracted to him—Kam—because he resembled Ian.

  “Kam?” Ian repeated, bringing him out of his analytic trance. “Are you all right? You looked like you’d seen a ghost all of a sudden.”

  “Yeah. I’m fine. Thanks for the advice,” Kam mumbled as he stood. It all seemed so obvious now. Everyone said they’d never witnessed loyalty and devotion like Lin showed Ian. Ian was handsome, powerful, sophisticated, rich, and brilliant—the very epitome of what a woman would find attractive. She’d first met him when she’d been an impressionable teenager. It was no surprise she idolized him from the start. An entire generation of people Ian’s age and younger idolized him, not only for all he’d accomplished, but also for his influence in the social media and electronic-gaming sectors.

  Ian had given Lin those flowers over the years, and Lin had carefully saved and preserved them near where she’d dreamed night after night. Those dried flowers were the only visible symbol of a passion she’d vowed to keep hidden.

  She should have told him. Didn’t he have a right to know why she found him attractive? Was the hesitance he sensed in her at times inspired by guilt on her part? Did she know she was wrong in using him as a substitute for another man?

  He bid Ian good-bye and left his office. Ian had been right. Kam had seen a ghost of sorts. It’d been himself. He’d been the phantom in his affair with Lin, a blurry, shadowy facsimile of the man she loved.

  • • •

  Lin’s phone began to ring as she walked through the main lobby at Northwestern Memorial. She’d seen Richard and Emile, and both of them were in reasonably good spirits. Much to her relief, she learned that Richard’s prognosis was very good.

  She suppressed her disappointment when she saw it wasn’t Kam calling.

  “Ian? Hi,” she said into the phone, pausing in front of a floor-to-ceiling window near the lobby exit.

  “How’s Richard?” he asked.

  “He’ll be fine. A pretty severe infection had set in, so the doctor recommended a course of IV antibiotics. That was why it necessitated an inpatient stay. They say he’s going to recover quickly, though. Lucien just left and I was on my way out.”

  “Are you coming back to the office?”

  “I have my class tonight,” Lin reminded him. She was hoping Kam would meet her there.

  “Sure, I understand,” he said distractedly. “It’s just that I wanted to speak to you about something.”

  “I’ll come back then.”

  “No . . . no, that’s not necessary,” Ian said. She sensed his preoccupation.

  “What is it, Ian?”

  “I’d rather not broach the topic on the phone,
but I suppose I should bring it up now before Kam mentions it to you.”

  “What?” Lin asked, puzzled by his manner.

  “Kam plans to ask you to work for him. Not just for him. With him. He wants you to be a full partner in Reardon Technologies, his new company.”

  Lin just stared blindly out the window at a row of cabs waiting at the curb.

  “You’re surprised?” Ian asked after a pause.

  “To put it mildly,” she replied hollowly. It suddenly felt very hard to move her lungs. A tingling sensation started on her hands and feet. “How . . . how long has he been planning this?”

  “According to him, the idea has been coming on ever since he met you. He has an enormous amount of respect for you, Lin,” Ian said quietly. “I think he realized how much he needs you to make this company fly.”

  Needs you to make his company fly. Is that what all of this had been about? Had her seduction been a means to acquire her for his business dynasty?

  “I . . . I don’t know what to say,” Lin mumbled. She felt numb.

  “I can tell it’s coming to you as quite a shock,” Ian said. “The only reason I mentioned it before Kam had a chance to is that it came to my attention that you might turn him down out of loyalty to me. To Noble Enterprises. I wanted you to know that whatever you decide, I’ll be behind you. Kam is willing to offer you things that I can’t. He’s willing to offer you things most business owners would never consider.”

  “You make it sound like you want me to leave,” Lin said, feeling stung and confused by the news.

  “No. That’s not it at all. Nothing would make me happier than if you took your time with the decision and came to the conclusion that Noble is where you want to remain. You know how much I value you. At least I hope you do. But the fact remains: Kam’s offer is highly generous. I can tell you love the product. With Kam’s brilliance and your business savvy, you two would be unstoppable.”