Since I Saw You

by BETH KERY

  “Is Mr. Reardon there?” the doorman asked into the phone. “He has a visitor. Oh, hello Mrs. Noble,” the man said deferentially after a moment. He glanced up and gave Lin a pointed glance. What was Francesca doing in Kam’s apartment? “Oh, Mr. Reardon isn’t there?”

  “Can I speak to her?” Lin asked, holding out her hand for the phone.

  “Francesca?” she asked a second later.

  “Lin, is that you?”

  “Yes. I’m looking for Kam. I need to find him. It’s important.”

  “Is everything all right?” Francesca asked worriedly.

  “Yes,” Lin said, realizing that she hadn’t hidden her growing franticness. “Well, not really. I need to speak with him. Do you know where he is?”

  “He’s at the airport,” Francesca said. “He called the penthouse at around midnight last night and said he’d changed his mind about visiting the Gersbachs in Geneva next week. He decided to go now. He booked a flight for this morning, and was calling to ask if I’d take care of Angus while he was gone. I thought it was strange, but—”

  “What time was his flight?” Lin interrupted her.

  “It’s at eight o’clock. He left around ten minutes ago I think. You just missed him. Lin, he said something about possibly not returning to Chicago. He said he might arrange for Angus to be returned to Aurore.”

  “Airline?” Lin pressed.

  “United.”

  “Thanks. I have to go,” she said hurriedly, handing the phone back to the doorman.

  “Good luck,” she distantly heard Francesca call into the receiver.

  “You didn’t see Mr. Reardon leaving a little while ago?” Lin asked the doorman in frustration as she started to back away.

  “I took a bathroom break a few minutes ago—”

  Lin made a sound of irritation and charged through the revolving doors.

  “O’Hare. Fast,” Lin told the cabdriver succinctly as she flew into the backseat and slammed the door.

  “Morning traffic. I’ll do the best I can.”

  “I’ll pay you ten times the amount of your fare if you do better than that. Significantly better.”

  In the rearview mirror, she saw the driver’s eyebrows go up in interest and braced herself against the seat divider when he punched the gas. The alarm amplified to a wailing scream in her head as she hastily dug her cell phone out of her purse. She hit Kam’s number. If she begged him to postpone his flight, would he hear her out?

  The cabdriver met her challenge, risking about a dozen different tickets to get her to the airport in record time, given traffic. Her sense of alarm became tinged with dread, however, when Kam didn’t answer his phone after several tries. Why was she growing so panicked? Surely, even if she missed him, she could fly to Geneva or France or wherever he was to seek him out?

  Now that I’ve stopped playing it safe, I’m tired of wasting time.

  She shoved four one-hundred-dollar bills into the cabdriver’s hand and rushed out of the taxi, slamming the door behind her, her mind focused ahead on the target of Kam.

  Suddenly she was falling. She hit the sidewalk with a jarring lurch.

  “You all right?” a nearby skycap called out to her.

  Lin grimaced. Her hands stung badly from bracing herself from the fall. She’d tripped over a concrete curb in her haste. Cursing under her breath for her idiocy—she couldn’t recall ever taking such a header in her life—she pushed herself up, only to almost fall again when she tried to stand. Her confusion over her sudden unsteady state was replaced by desperate irritation when she saw that the heel of her right boot had broken off.

  Kam might be passing through security check any second now, moving out of her reach.

  She pushed a mass of wild curls out of her face and limped onto the sidewalk, her gait awkward because of the three-inch disparity of height in her legs due to the missing heel. She staggered through the busy airport, looking for the nearest security check-in.

  Security was packed. She searched wildly for Kam’s tall form and signature dark, wavy hair, her helplessness and dread mounting until it felt like it’d choke her throat. Nowhere. Not a sight of him. She moved her position anxiously searching, hoping to catch a glimpse of him at the actual security checkpoint.

  She checked her watch, and then closed her burning eyelids. It was seven twenty-two. He’d be boarding soon. Even if she pulled the stunt of buying a ticket to get through security, the lines were too long. She’d never make it.

  She’d missed him.

  Her limbs suddenly felt very heavy. Her heart did. Pain waited until that moment to rush into her awareness. Her knees and palms throbbed with a stinging pain from her fall.

  Gone. He was gone. And she was stuck in the sticky web of her own life.

  She’d have to catch a cab back to the city on the departure level, she thought dully. She turned around and walked her graceless, defeated walk to the elevators.

  “Lin?”

  She paused in her progress down the departure level toward the cabstand, her heart leaping into her throat. She turned slowly, her skin prickling, too afraid to believe, and yet . . .

  Kam stood behind her, wearing jeans and a long-sleeved, striped button-down, the handle of a rolling suitcase in his hand. He stared at her incredulously. Suddenly he was rushing her.

  “What happened?” he demanded, his eyes a little wild. “Why is there blood on you?” He touched her cheek, his brows slanting ominously as he looked down at her. He lifted her hand. Lin realized dazedly for the first time her palm was bloody. She must have brushed her cheek and smeared blood on her face.

  “I fell getting out of the cab. I’m so glad to see you,” she said, her voice shaky with relief.

  He looked at her face, amazement dawning on his rugged features. “What are you doing here?”

  “I came to ask you not to go. Not now, anyway. I’m sorry I left last night,” she said in a pressured rush. “I was . . . overwhelmed by what you said. By everything . . .” she broke off, realizing how inadequate she sounded. She shook her head in frustration. “I’m not in love with Ian, Kam. I thought I was. Once. It’s recently been brought to my attention by my friend Richard that my feelings for Ian were an excuse to keep me safe . . . to keep me from taking a risk.” She swallowed thickly, the pressure in her chest and throat making speech difficult, even though she’d never wanted to communicate so much in her life. A tear skipped down her face and dampened a tendril of hair that had stuck to her overheated cheeks. She pushed the errant curl out of her face. God, she was a mess. “Even when Richard mentioned that to me recently, though, I was already starting to suspect what he said was true. What I felt for Ian was a girl’s infatuation that would have evaporated a long time ago, if I hadn’t willfully clung onto it.”

  “When?”

  “When, what?” she asked, confused.

  Kam stepped closer. She suddenly was inundated by his closeness, by his long, hard body and bold features and piercing light eyes. He was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen in her life. His scent tickled her nose. She inhaled it deeply, prizing the unexpected gift of it. Of him.

  “When did you start to suspect you weren’t really in love with Ian?” Kam prompted.

  She met his stare and felt all the walls tumbling down.

  “I didn’t realize it until now, but I think maybe . . . ever since I first saw you,” she whispered.

  He mouthed something soundlessly, and then he was taking her in his arms. She hugged him tightly against her, clenching her eyes closed in the grip of powerful emotion.

  “You said last night that if there was one person you knew who could contain the hurt of a broken heart, it was me,” she muttered in a rush against his chest. “But that’s not true, Kam. That’s how I knew, I really knew for a fact I never really could have been in love with Ian. Because when it
feels like this,” she hugged him tighter, her voice choking, “it’s not something you could ever contain.”

  “Shhh. That’s a good thing, baby. Such a good thing,” he said warmly near her ear, his hand stroking her back in a soothing motion as she gasped, out of control. “It’s going to be all right. It’s going to be better than all right. You’ll see.”

  Lin nodded against his chest. She wasn’t sure how long they remained like that, clutching at each other desperately while strangers rushed past them in either direction.

  She finally removed her pressing cheek from his chest and looked into his face. Despite a veil of blurring tears, she saw his smile, the tenderness of it a poignant contrast to his rugged, masculine aura. He brushed her hair back and cradled her jaw. “You’re a wreck, mon petit chaton. I’ve never seen you more beautiful.”

  She beamed up at him.

  “I never thought I’d see the day Lin Soong came undone,” he said.

  “I didn’t, either. But I’m glad it came,” she replied earnestly. His smile faded slowly, his expression hardening.

  “Je t’aime, mon amour.”

  Warmth and wonder flooded into her chest, bathing her heart. Her French was good enough to understand that, but even if it hadn’t been, the message gleaming in Kam’s eyes at that moment was unmistakable.

  “Yeah. It kind of took me by surprise, too,” he mumbled, his handsome mouth tilting in a self-deprecating grin. She laughed and he joined her, the moment effervescent. Golden. He must have recognized her amazement at his declaration of love.

  “More like a miracle,” she breathed out, awe tingeing her tone.

  He brought her wrist to his mouth and kissed her pulse, his passionate gaze seeming to bore straight down into her. How could she ever have even considered forsaking this for the safety of her heart? His warm lips lingered for a heart fluttering moment.

  “Come on. You should go into the bathroom and wash those cuts on your palm,” he said gruffly after a moment.

  “I never asked you what you were doing here instead of getting onto your plane,” Lin said as they walked to the women’s restroom side by side.

  “I decided I’d given up too fast. I was coming back to beg for your forgiveness for how I acted last night. I was coming back to put up a fight for you,” he said, giving her a hard, glittering sideways glance that caused that all-too-familiar swooping sensation in her lower belly.

  “Neither thing was necessary,” Lin assured. “But thank you, all the same.”

  Epilogue

  FOUR MONTHS LATER

  BELFORD HALL, ENGLAND

  Lin knocked on the carved walnut door and entered when she heard the soft “Come in.” A smile spread across her face. Francesca lay propped against the pillows in the four-poster bed holding a white-blanketed bundle in her arms. Morning sunlight streamed through the windows. She’d just learned from Ian’s grandmother, Anne, that Francesca and Ian had been up much of the night with their new baby. Apparently, the baby had finally succumbed to sleep. Francesca looked very tired, but sublimely happy as she shared Lin’s smile.

  “Anne told me to come on up,” Lin said in a hushed tone. “I saw Ian downstairs. He said he’d be right in with the bassinet so you can rest. He looked so happy.” She peered down at the bundle and saw the infant’s face. His hair was dark, like Ian’s, and he was fast asleep.

  “Meet James Patrick Noble,” Francesca whispered. “He seems to have finally figured out sleep is a good thing.”

  “He’s beautiful, Francesca.”

  Francesca smiled as she looked down at her son. “He looks like his father. Lucky boy.”

  “What color are his eyes?”

  “Dark blue, but Anne says they might change.”

  “Kam was struck dumb for I don’t know how long when he found out you gave James his middle name,” Lin said quietly, stepping back. She glanced around when she saw Ian walking into the room, carrying a white bassinet. He wore jeans and a shadow of whiskers on his jaw. Like his wife, he looked tired but happy.

  “We wanted to give him a true family name,” Ian murmured, setting down the basket a few feet away from Francesca. “Since Elise and Lucien are his godparents, we thought we’d commemorate Grandfather and Kam by giving him their names.”

  “Kam is so honored. Seriously,” she whispered, giving Francesca a significant glance. “Even though he hardly has said anything about it, I can tell by the sound of his voice whenever we talk about James.”

  “I know,” Francesca said. “I saw his expression when he was at the hospital right after James was born and we told him.”

  “I’m sorry I couldn’t make it for the birth,” Lin apologized to both of them. “It was a rotten time to be halfway across the world.”

  “You’re here now. Thank you for coming,” Francesca said sincerely.

  “Kam says you snagged Reardon another valuable contract with Haru Incorporated,” Ian said quietly, sitting on the edge of the bed, stroking Francesca’s blanket-covered thigh and peering down at James. Lin recalled how she’d seen a whole new expression on his face when he’d fallen in love with Francesca, and how she’d felt glad for his happiness after so much loneliness and pain in his life. Here was yet another expression as Ian looked at his son, one of deep love and profound contentment.

  Lin nodded. “And just in time, with our first shipment of watches going out in two weeks. We needed the extra capital with a royalty contract. It’s all happened so fast,” she said, referring to the launching of Kam’s business. Their business, since she’d decided to take Kam up on his offer several months ago and become his business partner as well as his romantic one.

  “Kam couldn’t have done it without you,” Ian said. “Trust me, I know from experience.”

  Lin laughed softly. “You’re doing just fine without me. Don’t make me feel guilty.”

  “Don’t you dare feel guilty,” Francesca whispered, giving Ian a repressive glance. He gave his wife a small smile.

  “She knows I’m kidding,” Ian rumbled. “I wouldn’t have let her go without a fight to anyone but Kam. She’s still in the family, so I’ll have to settle for that.”

  “Kam is so happy,” Francesca told Lin earnestly. “I’ve never seen a man so energized and purposeful about his work—especially since you two have undertaken this huge task of starting a company and all that implies—and yet so at peace with his personal life as well. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him.”

  “He only scowls in his sleep and at dinner parties these days. I actually saw him smile at a waiter while we were in London last week,” Ian mused.

  Lin smiled, warmed by hearing the couple speak of Kam’s happiness. She and Kam had been living together at Aurore Manor for ten weeks now, although both of them were often traveling on business. Lin had to agree with Francesca’s assessment of Kam’s happiness. She shared in it fully, so who knew better than her?

  Francesca shifted James in her arms. “Let’s put him down. I’m so tired I can hardly keep my eyes open,” she said, transferring the bundle to Ian. Ian took his son and stood.

  “Are you sure you don’t want Melina to put him to sleep in the nursery?” Ian asked quietly, referring, Lin knew, to their newly hired nanny. “You could sleep uninterrupted that way.”

  “No, no,” Francesca insisted, shaking her head. “It’s too soon.”

  Lin smiled, understanding her. James was only three days old, after all. But if Lin had her guess, it’d be that Francesca had never fully warmed up to the idea of a nanny.

  She secured her shoulder bag in preparation to leave. Francesca needed rest, and she was very eager to return to Aurore and Kam.

  “You shouldn’t have made a special trip to Belford Hall, Lin. Kam says you two haven’t seen each other for nine days,” Francesca said tiredly.

  Lin walked over to the bassi
net and got another look at James before she departed. “I wanted to come and see James first. I’m glad I did. He’s amazing, you guys. Besides,” she said, turning to the couple, “this way, Kam and I can settle down at Aurore for the calm before the storm when production begins in two weeks. We have an anniversary tonight.”

  “Really? Which one?” Francesca asked.

  “Four months.”

  “Four months since . . .”

  “We first saw each other,” Lin gave a rueful smile. She knew how idiotic these little rituals might seem to a more established couple. “According to Kam, it was all there in that first look, the seeds of everything,” she admitted, feeling her cheeks heating.

  “He gets that eloquent with you?” Ian asked, looking pleased and amused at once.

  “You have no idea,” Lin assured with a grin.

  • • •

  Lin drove up the long, wooded drive to Aurore. She’d told Kam she had some errands she wanted to do before returning home, so he reluctantly had agreed not to pick her up at the airport. She’d made good time, though, and was home an hour earlier than she’d told Kam to expect her.

  The sun had already set, even though it was only a little after five. After her flight to France, she’d stopped in the village to pick up some needed supplies at the grocer, and then gone to retrieve her prearranged gift for Kam. Even though the woods were barren with winter cold, Aurore Manor looked warm and inviting when she pulled up in the circular drive before the large house. She’d ordered some greenery for Christmas, and it looked cheerful along with a lush wreath on the front door. Golden light spilled from several windows. She saw the compact car owned by Madame Morisot—their new housekeeper—parked behind Kam’s sedan farther down the drive.

  Grinning like an idiot, she retrieved her soft little gift, juggling her shoulder bag and the sack of supplies. She’d get her suitcase later. She couldn’t wait to give him his gift, but she mostly burned to see him. It’d been way too long.

  Madame Morisot had on her coat and was walking down the lit hall when Lin entered. Her eyes sprung wide when she saw what Lin carried in her cradled arm.