Forget Me Not

by Brenda Jackson

  Easy, she surmised. Whether she wanted to admit it or not, her husband still had an effect on her in the most sensuous way. More than anything, she had to remember that how she handled herself with him now could possibly determine if they had a future together. One wrong move on her part could end everything.

  “Ready to get started?”

  “Yes,” she said, smiling up at him, trying not to feel off balance by his closeness. “I’m ready.”

  * * *

  “YOU’RE USED TO being on a boat.” Ray observed how easily Ashley moved around the vessel.

  She quickly shifted her gaze from him to glance across the waters when the boat started to move. He wondered why she’d done that. Had his statement bothered her? “Ashley?”

  She glanced back at him. “Yes. My husband and I owned a boat that was pretty similar to this one.”

  When she told him the model, he released an impressive whistle. “Wow, that boat is every man’s dream.”

  “I know. At first I was upset with him when he suggested we buy it.”

  “Why? Don’t you know all men love their toys?”

  When she quickly glanced away again, he figured the conversation about her husband was bothering her. “I’m sorry. I should not have encouraged you to talk about your husband. That was insensitive of me.”

  She looked back at him and said, “Don’t apologize. It’s just what you said are the words he told me...about men and their toys. That’s what made me cave. And the reason I got so upset with Devon was because we’d promised each other that for the first five years of our marriage we would make sacrifices. We would do without all those things we didn’t particularly need until we became successful in our chosen professions. Then we would splurge, so to speak.” She laughed. “I should have known he wouldn’t be able to hold out.”

  He nodded, smiling at her. “But you did? Hold out?”

  Ray watched a degree of sadness that touched her features. “Yes, I held out,” she said softly.

  For some reason Ray wanted to go to her, a woman he barely knew, and take her in his arms. Give her a shoulder to cry on if she needed one. It was obvious from the short time he’d known her that she’d loved her husband deeply. Losing him had been hard on her. It still was. He wondered about the type of man who could extract such a high degree of love and devotion from a woman. He wanted to believe the feelings were mutual and her husband had loved her and had been devoted to her just as much.

  That made him wonder about the woman he’d been married to. What type of marriage had they shared? If it had been even close to the one he believed Ashley shared with her husband, then wouldn’t he remember it? Was there a reason his memory refused to return?

  Over the years he’d read up a lot on retrograde amnesia and one of the theories as to why a person’s memory didn’t quickly return was due to purely psychological reasons. Specifically, in trying to forget certain aspects of their life, the person’s brain was forgetting it all and blocking the chance of their memory returning. Was that what was happening to him? There had to be a reason he had yet to get his memory back, although both Dr. Riggins and Dr. Martin assured him that particular theory might not even apply to him. But still, he couldn’t help but wonder at times if that was the case.

  Deciding to treat Ashley just as he would any other cruiser, he began his tour narrative, telling her about the history of Catalina Cove as they moved through the waterways. He pointed out several areas such as the swamp and the bayous, making sure he provided the information about the wildlife that roamed the shores and swam the waters—namely, the raccoons, coyotes, gray wolves, beavers, otters and alligators. Then because of the swamp, there were mosquitoes that were almost as big as humans.

  Saying that caused her to laugh. Ray much preferred seeing happiness in her eyes instead of sadness. She asked questions and seemed really interested in the different cultures living in Catalina Cove.

  Since that seemed to hold her interest, he continued by delving more into the cove’s history, telling her how people who braved the elements and lived on the bayou thought there was no place better to live. As part of his tour narrative he told her about the culture of those living on the bayou, a mixture of just about every influence from Spanish to French to German to African and Irish and Native American. There were those with predominantly French ancestry, some who still spoke the language and who made up the foundation of the Cajun culture.

  “Vashti told me that Kaegan lives on the bayou and that he’s part of the Pointe-au-Chien Native American tribe and that his family’s ties to the cove and surrounding bayou go back generations, even before the first European settlers.”

  He nodded, smiling. “Yes, that’s true. Kaegan is very proud of his heritage and the contributions his ancestors made to this area.”

  “You seem very knowledgeable about the area, Ray. Are you sure you didn’t live here in another life or something?” she asked as a teasing glint appeared in her features.

  He forced a smile, almost telling her that when it came to his past, he wasn’t sure of anything. Instead he said, “I’m positive. When I moved here I wanted to learn as much as I could about the town and the people so dedicated to the cove and preserving the old ways. I read a lot. In fact, the library became my best friend.”

  There was no need to tell her the library also became his hiding place from the single women in town who were determined that he would be the catch of the day, the week, the month. It was hard for them to understand he’d just wanted to be left alone and liked the solitude.

  It had taken a while but they’d finally redirected their attention to Sawyer, who’d been just as adamant as Ray about not becoming involved with anyone. It had been odd that none of the women tried coming on to Kaegan and it didn’t take long for Ray to figure out why. Although no one talked about it, it seemed everyone knew of Kaegan and Bryce’s history and figured why waste their time since sooner or later the two would come to their senses and get back together. Honestly, Ray didn’t see such a thing happening, but...

  “You handle this boat like a pro. Were you in the navy or something?”

  He could let her assume, like most people in the cove did, that he used to be in the military, but for some reason he didn’t want to knowingly lie to her. He shook his head. “No, I wasn’t in the military.” At least, as far as he knew he hadn’t been. “I grew up around water and used to own a boat like this once.”

  Suddenly, he felt as if he’d been kicked in the chest and had to quickly grab hold of one of the posts to steady his balance. Why had he just told her that? And why did deep down he believe it to be true? Had he grown up around water and had he once owned a boat such as this one? Was that the reason why he felt so comfortable on the water and why he loved boats? And why he’d specifically wanted this one the moment he’d seen it?

  “Ray? Are you all right?”

  He glanced over at Ashley and saw a worried look on her face. Had he momentarily zoned out or something? The last thing he wanted was for her to question whether he was capable of returning them to shore or anything. “Yes, I’m fine. I just thought about something. No big deal. Now, let me show you all the other places around the cove.”

  * * *

  ASHLEY HAD WATCHED Ray’s face when he’d realized what he had said. He was right. He had grown up around water and he had once owned a boat like this one. In fact, it was the same model, just a tad bigger.

  Had Dr. Riggins been right? Was being around her helping him to reclaim his memory? Were bits and pieces of people, things and events starting to float around in his head? The thought made her want to jump for joy, but she couldn’t get too hopeful. A part of her couldn’t help it. She couldn’t help but feel positive that one day she would have her husband back.

  But what if her husband didn’t come back? What if he never got his memory back? Could she love him as Ray Sullivan when he wa
s different from Devon? Ashley knew the answer to that. Yes, she could, and she knew that, although different, both men had qualities she admired.

  Ray wasn’t as power driven as Devon used to be. He was more laid-back. Making money wasn’t a big priority for Ray. She realized Ray was in a way an older, more mature and confident version of Devon. A man who had learned hard lessons in life and who’d decided to take life one day at a time and enjoy smelling the roses along the way. There was no doubt in her mind that Ray still worked hard, but he didn’t let work consume him.

  Bottom line, she loved both the incredibly ambitious Devon and the laid-back Ray. They both brought something to the table that could satisfy her appetite. At that moment she knew that although she had loved the man Devon had been, she could also love and appreciate another version of him.

  Ashley listened to what Ray was saying as his boat glided through the waters, showing her various parts of the cove, including a beautiful waterfall. Being out with him on this boat reminded her of other times they had gone out on their boat together. Seeing how expertly he was handling the boat gave her a sense of pride like she always had in his abilities. Gone was the Devon Ryan who prided himself on looking all suave, refined and debonair. He’d been replaced by Ray Sullivan, who stood on the bow looking every bit the sexy sea captain.

  When he headed back to shore, she knew her two hours with him were almost up and she felt the regret deep in the pit of her stomach. “I enjoyed the tour of the cove, Ray.”

  He smiled. “I’m glad. And if you get the chance, please go on our website and write a nice review.”

  She couldn’t help but chuckle. “I most certainly will.”

  Ashley shifted her gaze away from him, looked up into the sky and breathed in the scent of the ocean. She loved it out here on the water. Thanks to Devon, she had no choice. After losing him, she hadn’t been able to bring herself to sell his boat. Instead she would take it out on occasion. Because her parents made such a fuss about her going out on the boat alone, she would get Emmie to go with her. Sometimes she would go by herself but didn’t tell her parents because she hadn’t wanted them to worry. It was those times when she’d been out on the waters by herself that she would feel close to Devon.

  “So, you found a place in town for the summer?”

  She turned her attention back to him. “Yes, thanks to Bryce Witherspoon. It was the first place I saw.” She told him where it was located and why she fell in love with it so much.

  “That’s a pretty secluded area. I thought you’d want to be in town.”

  She gave him a wide grin. “It’s not too secluded and I could walk to town if I felt up to it. More than anything, I wanted something on the water, and that’s what I got. I get to wake up to this, Ray,” she said, spreading her arms wide.

  “Lucky you,” he said, grinning back at her.

  “I guess that’s something we have in common. Our love of the water.”

  He seemed to study her for a long moment, before saying, “Yes, it seems you’re right. I’m glad nearly drowning didn’t diminish your love for it.”

  “I’m glad, too, Ray. I’m glad, too.”

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  RAY IGNORED THE conversation between Kaegan and Sawyer, too deep in his thoughts to do otherwise. It had been four days since he’d seen Ashley when she’d taken a tour on his boat. Even now the memories of that day still gripped him in ways he didn’t understand.

  He had thoroughly enjoyed her company, not as a paying customer but rather as a woman whose presence he wanted to be in. And then there had been that jarring moment, when he felt he might have recovered a part of his memory that had been lost to him. For some reason he truly believed what he’d told her about having grown up around water and owning a boat like the Sunflower.

  He quickly brought his attention back to the conversation when he heard Ashley’s name off Sawyer’s lips. “What did you just say about Ashley Ryan?”

  Sawyer glanced over at him. “I was just telling Kaegan, now that she’s back, Vashti—”

  “Back? She went somewhere?”

  Sawyer nodded. “Yes. She went home to pack up more of her belongings. She’s moving into Gertie Landers’s place for the summer. Vashti and Bryce are helping her move today. Before leaving home this morning, Vashti asked that I stop by at some point today in case they needed muscle power. I told her I would, but that was before I remembered I’ll be in court most of the day. That’s why I just asked Kaegan to stop by in my place.”

  “Normally, I’d be able to have your back, man,” Kaegan said, “but one of my men called in sick, so I have to go out on the boat today. Besides, with Bryce being there, it’s better if I didn’t show up anyway.” He glanced over at Ray. “How’s your schedule today?”

  Ray knew he could tell Kaegan that he needed to be out on his own boat today as well, but he knew that would be a lie. Tyler was more than capable of handling things without him. Besides, he wanted to see Ashley again. He wasn’t sure why she was slowly becoming an obsession with him, but she was. He would even admit to looking for her around the pier in the evenings when he got off work, hoping he would run into her again like he had last week and they’d end up sharing a meal together.

  “Ray?”

  “Yes?”

  “Your schedule today?” Kaegan said, looking at him oddly.

  Ray figured his friend was wondering what the hell was wrong with him today. “My schedule is flexible. I’m available if Vashti needs help with anything.”

  Sawyer smiled. “Thanks. I really appreciate it.”

  * * *

  “HE’S HERE.”

  Ashley tried not to feel nervous from Vashti’s words. It seemed Sawyer and Kaegan had deliberately arranged for Ray to come help them out. That had surprised her since she’d gotten the feeling that although they were rooting for Ray’s memory to return, they weren’t into playing matchmakers. Evidently they’d had a change of heart today.

  “How do I look?” she asked Vashti quickly, pushing hair back from her face.

  Vashti laughed. “Like a woman who’s been busy yet still manages to look sexy as hell. Tell me, how do you do it?”

  Ashley rolled her eyes. As far as she was concerned, Vashti was the real beauty with her soft brown eyes, long eyelashes, high cheekbones, shoulder-length dark brown hair and skin the color of rich mocha. She’d told her the first day they met that she was a mixture of several cultures—French, Spanish, African and Native American—and was proud of all four.

  “I refuse to answer that question on the basis that I know you’re just being kind,” Ashley said, truly meaning it.

  When there was a loud knock at the door, Vashti grinned and said, “Well, aren’t you going to open it?”

  “Yes.” On nervous legs, Ashley headed for the door. Leaving Catalina Cove for those two days to return home had been hard knowing she was leaving Ray behind. Emmie, Suzanne and Kim had been at the airport waiting for her. She’d known Emmie would be there but hadn’t expected Suzanne and Kim to fly in—she was glad they had. She had so much to share with them, and while she repacked, she’d covered everything.

  She knew they were still in a daze at the thought that Devon was alive and they let her know they admired how she was handling things. More than once Suzanne had said that had it been her, she would not have been able to pull things off like Ashley was doing. In fact, her exact words had been, “After three years of horniness, I would have jumped his bones several times over by now.”

  Suzanne didn’t know how many days and nights such thoughts had flowed through her mind. Just breathing the same air as her husband had a surreal effect on her.

  Before opening the door, she glanced back over her shoulder and saw Vashti’s encouraging smile. It gave her the courage she needed and she slowly opened the door.

  And she fought the impulse to throw herself into h
er husband’s arms.

  He looked so good standing there in his jeans, muscle shirt and fisherman boots. This Devon was such a total turn-on. Sexy as sexy could be, and at that moment, it wouldn’t bother her in the least if he never wore a suit again. The man standing before her seemed comfortable in his own skin...although he did appear almost as nervous as she was.

  “Hello, Ashley.”

  She swallowed. “Hi, Ray.”

  “I understand you need help.”

  “Yes. Thanks for stopping by. Please come in. There are several boxes that are still in the car.”

  “Okay,” he said, stepping inside the house. He smiled over at Vashti. “Hey, Vashti. You okay?”

  She smiled back, nodding. “I’m okay but the baby’s not. I think he’s teething. I hate to run but I need to leave for a spell to go check on him.”

  Ashley knew that was nothing more than a made-up excuse. Granted, the baby might be teething, but there was no reason for Vashti to leave. “Thanks for all your help today, Vashti. I feel guilty keeping you from the inn.”

  Vashti waved off her words as she headed for the door. “You don’t have to thank me for anything. I’m just glad you decided to stay through the summer. I’ll see you guys later.” And then she opened the door and was gone.

  Ray looked around. “Where’s Bryce?”

  Ashley nervously licked her lips. “She left to go show some property in the area to a client.”

  “Oh. The boxes are in your car?”

  “Yes.”

  He nodded. “I’ll go and get them.” He headed for the door.

  * * *

  “WHAT THE HELL am I doing here?” Ray muttered to himself as he grabbed one of the boxes off the back seat of Ashley’s rental car. “Hell, the moment she opened that door and I saw her, I wanted to pull her into my arms and kiss her.” No, dammit, what he’d really wanted to do was a lot more than kiss her.