Forget Me Not

by Brenda Jackson

  And she was no longer wearing her ring.

  That was one of the first things he’d noticed when he’d joined her for breakfast. He knew exactly what her removing her ring meant. She was ready to move on with her life and put the past behind her.

  Funny, he’d decided to do the same thing. The words she’d spoken to him weeks ago had tumbled around in his mind all day. She wouldn’t remove her ring until she had met a man who’d charmed her into doing so.

  The thought that he’d had anything to do with that made him somewhat wary because he wasn’t sure he was worthy. There was a lot about him that she didn’t know and he was beginning to feel he was deceiving her into thinking he was someone he was not. There was only one way to remedy that. He would tell her the truth about himself. Tonight.

  Hesitating before getting out of the truck, he leaned back in the seat and drew in a deep breath. If she decided she still wanted to see him after what he told her, it meant he would be starting a new chapter in his life. Was he ready?

  He knew that was a silly question because he wouldn’t be here if he wasn’t.

  Opening his truck door, he got out and looked down at himself. He had traded the jeans and T-shirt in for a pair of dark slacks, white collared shirt and dinner jacket. It was an outfit he’d purchased to wear to Sawyer and Vashti’s wedding and hadn’t worn it again. Until tonight. It was his first date as Ray Sullivan.

  Strolling to the door, he knocked. She opened it and he immediately thought she looked amazing. She was wearing light makeup and her hair was curled at the ends and flowed loosely around her shoulders. He definitely liked her red shade of lipstick. The entire package was stunning.

  She was wearing a pretty blue dress with a ruffled hem that hit right above the knees, complementing a gorgeous pair of legs. He recalled the first time he’d seen those legs and the effect they’d had on him. It had been that day he’d been inside Smithy’s Tackle Shop waiting in line. Minutes later he’d jumped in the ocean to save her.

  “You look nice,” he said as his gaze roamed over her.

  “Thanks, and you look rather handsome yourself.”

  He chuckled. “Just a little something I threw together.”

  “And you did it so well. I’m ready if you are.”

  “I’m ready but there is something I want to talk to you about. After dinner.”

  She nodded. “Okay.”

  And then he did something that even surprised him. He took her hand as he led her out the door.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  “I LOVE THIS PLACE, Ray. Thanks for bringing me here.”

  Dinner had been great and Ashley had enjoyed his company. During the meal they’d made a lot of small talk, with him telling her more about his boat tours and with her telling him about the blog piece she was working on. She could tell he was proud of the business he’d started from the ground up, which didn’t surprise her, as Devon had been just as proud of his first company.

  But there was a sparkle in his eye, too, that said he was not only proud but that he genuinely enjoyed what he did for a living. Devon had been ambitious and fed off a good challenge, but she wasn’t sure he’d been passionate about what he did. She was glad he’d found something to be passionate about as Ray.

  They declined dessert but agreed on coffee. She’d noticed like before he kept the conversation more on her than on himself. Ashley had an idea what he wanted to talk to her about later and knew that no matter what he told her, she couldn’t level with him as to her true role in his life. It was only until she was certain he had fallen in love with her a second time that she could reveal that.

  “Ready to go?”

  The sound of his deep, husky voice interrupted her thoughts. “Yes.”

  A short while later they were pulling into her yard. When he brought the truck to a stop, there was no need to ask if he wanted to come in because he’d already told her about the talk they needed to have.

  “Thanks again for dinner, Ray.”

  “I’m glad you agreed to go out with me.”

  “There was no reason for me not to. I enjoy your company. I think you know that.” And if there was any doubt in his mind of that, it would be gone by the time he left tonight.

  Always the gentleman, he didn’t say anything when he got out of the truck and came around to open the door for her. She knew the smile he gave her was meant to put her at ease but it didn’t, not when she could see so much uncertainty in his face. She figured he thought what he had to tell her would basically end things between them before they could get started. But he was wrong about that.

  When they reached her door and she opened her purse to retrieve her key, he said, “It’s late. Maybe we could have that talk another time.”

  She had a feeling if they didn’t have it tonight it would be something he would put off until no telling when. “It’s not late, really. Besides, you have me curious.” She was more than curious. She was downright antsy and wanted to get this done and over with so they could move on. Together.

  He nodded and she opened the door and didn’t look back when she entered and he closed the door behind him. “Would you like a beer or something?”

  “No, I’m good.”

  It was on the tip of her tongue to agree with that assessment of himself. She put her purse aside and kicked off her shoes. Looking over her shoulder, she said, “You don’t mind if I get comfortable, do you?”

  “Not at all. This is your place.”

  Ashley wondered how he would react if she began removing her clothes. She decided not to pull such a stunt to find out. Moving over to the sofa, she sat down and deliberately crossed her legs and placed her hands on her knees. “So what do you want to talk to me about, Ray?”

  * * *

  RAY FELT A tightness in his chest as he watched Ashley. Whether she knew it or not, she was getting to him and in a big way. Moving toward the chair across from the sofa, he slid into the seat and tried to keep his concentration off her legs.

  Clearing his throat, he said, “There’s something about me that I think you need to know.”

  She lifted a brow. “And what’s that?”

  “I might be a married man.”

  She stared at him, and to his way of thinking, she seemed to take what he’d said rather calmly. To be sure she heard what he’d said, he repeated himself.

  “I heard you, Ray, but I thought you were divorced? I don’t understand.”

  He figured she wouldn’t. Starting at the beginning, he began telling her about waking up from a coma, badly beaten and bruised and without any memory. She didn’t say anything. Didn’t even ask any questions. That was definitely different from when he’d told Bryce, who’d asked plenty of questions. If he didn’t know better, he’d think she’d already known. But the people who did know about his condition would not have told a stranger his private business. “So there you have it. I have no memory of my past.”

  Ashley nodded. “I see.”

  He raked his hand over the top of his head, not understanding her easy acceptance. “You see?” he asked, feeling somewhat agitated. “How can you?”

  She shifted in her seat, and damn, his attention was drawn to her legs when it should be on the question he’d asked her and what her response would be.

  “I knew someone with amnesia once.”

  Ray drew in a breath as his agitation backed off. He hadn’t thought he was the only person with memory loss but he hadn’t known anyone who’d known someone else with amnesia. “You did?”

  “Yes, while in college at Harvard. Carolyn was a member of my swim team. While home on spring break, she had jumped into a friend’s pool and hit her head, resulting in memory loss. She missed an entire year of school. The team and I would visit her and she didn’t know who we were. She didn’t recognize anyone, not even her parents.”

  He was silent
for a moment and then he asked, “Did she ever get her memory back?”

  “Yes, but it was years later.”

  He inwardly admitted that was what he was truly afraid of now that he’d established this new life for himself. He wasn’t sure he wanted his old life or to know anything about it now.

  “And in a way that’s what I’m afraid of,” he said, speaking those fears aloud. “Of one day regaining knowledge of my past when I want so much to just put it behind me and move forward.”

  “And you can’t?”

  “No. For all I know, I could have a wife and kids somewhere. That’s the main reason I refrained from getting involved with anyone. If my memory ever returns, things could get messy.”

  * * *

  NOT IF YOUR past and present connect, Ashley wanted to say but couldn’t. She had to remind herself that although Ray might be attracted to her, he didn’t love her. In order for them to deal with him not knowing his past, emotions and not guilt needed to be involved. She didn’t want him to feel guilty because he didn’t love her but should. She wanted him to feel satisfied any issues regarding the woman in his past life, the woman he used to love, didn’t matter because they would be one and the same.

  For now she would play devil’s advocate, giving him a reason to consider his choices. “Since moving here to the cove, what have you done to determine your true identity?”

  “I had the papers in the area where I was found run the article again about me, and I had my information updated with missing persons. I figured someone had to be looking for me.” He paused and then said, “I was disappointed to discover after six months that no one was.”

  His words tugged at her heart. At that moment she wanted to go to him and put her arms around him and tell him that the reason she hadn’t looked for him was because she thought he’d died. There was no way had she known he was alive somewhere that she would not have searched for him.

  The thought that he believed no one cared enough to look for him tore at her. It took every ounce of strength she had to hold back from telling him the truth. That she was his wife. The longer she kept the truth from him the worse it would be.

  But remembering what Dr. Riggins said was what held her back. She had to believe if she kept to the plan that eventually Ray would develop feelings for her. She had to believe that.

  “And if your memory never returns, then what, Ray? You’re willing to live your life that way? Refusing to engage in a meaningful relationship ever?” she asked him.

  He leaned forward. “Yes, meaningful or otherwise, I was willing to do those things. Until I met you. For some reason, from the first I was drawn to you in a way I couldn’t ignore, no matter how much I tried. You made me begin questioning why I couldn’t live a happy life like other men.”

  He paused a moment and then said, “I told myself you were safe because you were still grieving your husband. I enjoyed your company, and a friendship with you was all I wanted. And the good thing about it was I believed that’s all you wanted, until a few days ago when you insinuated that a friends only relationship between us wouldn’t work, and belatedly, I would have to agree.”

  He paused again before saying, “This morning I saw you’d removed your wedding ring. So now I need to ask you, Ashley, knowing how attracted we are to each other and the friends thing won’t work, what is it that you want?”

  It would be so easy to tell him that more than anything she wanted to be his again in every way. The woman he loved more than anything. The woman he desired. The woman who more than anything wanted his children and to live a long life with him. She wanted to be his sunflower again.

  But for his sake, she couldn’t take the easy way out. Rebuilding that kind of relationship with him again would be hard but not impossible. In fact, she was getting excited about the prospect of doing so. Devon always said she had the ability to literally blow his mind, and she wanted to blow his mind again, both in and out of the bedroom. Nothing she did would be taboo because the man sitting across from her was her husband. The one person she had vowed years ago to love, honor and cherish until death did them part. He had cheated death and she rejoiced in that fact.

  Knowing he still probably thought of her as a grieving widow, with or without her ring, she had to convince him he would be doing her a tremendous favor if he helped her move on by engaging in an affair with her. Nothing permanent. Just during the time she was here in Catalina Cove. Or so he would think.

  “What I want might seem a little selfish on my end, Ray,” she finally said.

  He lifted a brow. “Selfish in what way?”

  She slowly stood and began pacing, intentionally giving him the impression she was nervous about giving him an answer. Truthfully, she was because the way she presented herself to him could be the turning point in their relationship. It could be success or failure. Not hers but theirs.

  She stopped pacing and turned to him. No matter what, she had to make what she was about to tell him believable. She didn’t miss the look in his eyes when she’d abruptly turned from pacing. He had been checking her out, something she’d noticed he did a lot. Hopefully, his intense attraction to her would overrule his resistance.

  “You haven’t been the only person who has refused to become involved in relationships. Meaningful or otherwise. After my husband died, I just could not fathom the thought of another man touching me, kissing me or just getting close to me, period. It seemed the desire to do any of those things was turned off. Until I met you.”

  She glanced down at the floor for a moment and then back at him. “I was attracted to you and it’s escalated from there. I would go to bed thinking of you. And then when we kissed, I did something with you I hadn’t ever done with a man other than my husband. I shared pleasure in a kiss that made me come. After that, it was your face I saw instead of Devon’s in my dreams, Ray. I finally saw what was happening. I was finally able to desire someone other than Devon. For me it’s a start and for now I don’t want to lose it. I’m feeling like a woman again for the first time in years. For the first time since losing my husband.”

  He didn’t say anything; he just continued to sit there and watch her. Then she added, “You asked what I want. I only have the rest of the summer here in the cove. By the end I hope to be a different person. A woman who will have accepted her fate and be able to handle just about anything. So what I’m asking you to consider, Ray, is to have an affair with me while I’m living here in Catalina Cove.”

  * * *

  AT THAT INSTANT Ray’s mouth literally went dry. Every muscle in his body felt in tune to Ashley in a way he’d never known for another woman before. And that was the kicker. He couldn’t remember if the physical attraction he was experiencing was new or what he would normally experience with a woman. All he knew was that he wanted Ashley with a desperation that astounded him. But...

  “It doesn’t bother you I might be a married man?”

  She lifted her chin and held fast to his gaze when she said, “No. The man you used to be might have had a wife. However, the man you are now doesn’t. I want to have an affair with the man you are now. Ray Sullivan.”

  Her words struck like lightning in his mind. Although he’d never analyzed his situation the way she had, what she said was true. He would never go back to being who he was if his memory didn’t return. But he did have a grasp of the man he was now. What she’d said was what Dr. Martin had not only tried to get him to see but also to accept. And he hadn’t until now.

  He was Ray Sullivan, a single man who owned a touring company in Catalina Cove. That life began the day he’d walked out the hospital. He had survived. He was still surviving. And now the most gorgeous woman he knew wanted to have a summer fling with him.

  “If you need more time to think about it, Ray, I understand.”

  Her words reclaimed his attention. He knew the eyes staring back at her were hot, dark and filled with
a sexual need that he felt in his groin. He knew at that moment there was nothing to think about. For the past three years he’d thought so much on the subject it had become overkill. It had taken Ashley’s one sentence to make him see reason.

  Suddenly he felt not like a new man, but the man he should have been all along. A man no longer tormented by the past but a man who wanted to look forward to the future and whatever it held. He stood up from his chair and took the few steps to Ashley and watched her tilt her head back to look up at him. He thought she had a beautiful neck.

  “I don’t need time to think about anything, Ashley.”

  He could see the way her pulse was thumping in her throat and he was tempted to lick her neck. Resisting temptation, he took a step closer and said, “I accept your offer of a summer fling.”

  She nervously licked her lips and his guts tightened. “Starting when?” she asked him.

  “Starting now.” And then he lowered his mouth to hers.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  THE MOMENT RAY’S mouth began devouring hers, a little voice in Ashley’s head whispered she’d gotten her husband back—at least half of the way. It would be up to her to make sure the other half would follow suit and their love was rekindled.

  She turned her full concentration to their kiss and could feel all the emotions he was putting into it. Tonight he’d made a decision he hadn’t planned on making. Now that he had, it seemed he was making up for lost time.

  The same was true with her. This was her husband. The man she loved with all her heart. The man she thought she’d lost forever only to discover he was here, and she intended to claim him in any and every way she could. Even if it meant using her feminine wiles to entice him into lovemaking, which they used to enjoy doing so much. At this point, there was no shame in her game because she was fighting for the most important person in her life.