William Shakespeare's The Jedi Doth Return
Page 9
HAN
Pray, mark me well, else all of you shall die:
Move quickly to the side, and let us in.
[Imperial troops move away, surrounded by rebels.
Go, brave Chewbacca, guard these wayward souls.
LEIA
Make haste, good Han. The fleet shall be in range
Anon.
CHEWBAC.
—Egh, auugh!
HAN
—Give me those charges, quick!
Enter more IMPERIAL TROOPS, COMMANDERS, and STORMTROOPERS, running into the bunker. C-3PO, still outside the bunker, sees them.
C-3PO
O my, they shall be captur’d! Misery!
If only I could quickly warn them all.
WICKET
Netah muah,
Meego thuah,
Meego gennem,
Puah, puah.
[Exit Wicket in haste.
R2-D2
Beep, meep!
C-3PO
—Where dost thou go? Come back! R2,
Stay here with me, I pray. My joints and wires
Are burning with my terror and my fear.
If thou dost leave, I surely shall melt down
From all the dread that runs through me.
R2-D2
—Meep, squeak!
[ Aside:] Though small, his brave protection shall I be!
We cannot save the others, and may not
E’en save ourselves, but I shall not, at least,
Desert C-3PO when he’s afear’d.
COMMAND.
[ to Han:] Be still, thou rebel scum.
HAN
[ aside:] —Alas, how’s this?
The Empire knew our plan—something’s amiss!
[Exeunt all, with Imperial troops subduing rebels.
SCENE 2.
Inside the second Death Star.
Enter two GUARDS.
GUARD 1
Oi! Comrade, how art thou?
GUARD 2
—Quite well, my friend.
Say, didst thou hear the news?
GUARD 1
—What news, pray tell?
GUARD 2
It seemeth we have found Skywalker.
GUARD 1
—Aye?
The lad for whom we have for ages search’d?
The one o’er whom Darth Vader seems obsess’d?
The mighty boy of whom we’ve all been warn’d?
GUARD 2
Indeed, the same—thou knowest whom I mean.
GUARD 1
Where was he, then?
GUARD 2
—Upon the moon.
GUARD 1
—Which moon?
GUARD 2
The moon around which we do orbit now.
E’en Endor.
GUARD 1
—Can it be? Our enemy,
The greatest threat the Empire’s ever known,
Hath ’scaped our watch and is to Endor flown?
How can that be, for do we not have guards
Identifying ev’ry ship that comes?
Hath he fool’d them to make his landing, then?
GUARD 2
E’en so. Lord Vader hath return’d with him.
GUARD 1
Darth Vader brought him here?
GUARD 2
—Yes. Wherefore art
Thou so perplex’d?
GUARD 1
—The rebel pilot who
Hath single-handedly destroy’d the first
Death Star is hither brought—
GUARD 2
—As prisoner.
GUARD 1
As prisoner. Aye, that is better. But
How came he then to be on Endor, say?
And wherefore was he there? Do we yet know?
GUARD 2
How he hath landed there is yet beyond
Our knowing. He hath said he was alone.
GUARD 1
And hath he been believ’d?
GUARD 2
—Nay, we have not
Our senses quite forgot. Pray, give our men
An ounce of credit, lad. Our scouts do search
For his accomplices e’en now.
GUARD 1
—’Tis well.
GUARD 2
Forsooth, the Empire soon shall triumph.
GUARD 1
—But . . .
GUARD 2
Alas, my friend, what troubles thee? Why dost
Thou speak this “but”? Why “but”? What “but”?
GUARD 1
—Hast thou
Read the descriptions of the Endor moon?
GUARD 2
I have, for we were order’d so to do.
GUARD 1
Then thou hast heard about the creatures there.
GUARD 2
Mean’st thou the native population that
Was deemèd insignificant?
GUARD 1
—Indeed.
The full report hath said that they are arm’d.
GUARD 2
But with such sticks and rocks as would not harm
A womp rat, and much less an AT-AT. Thou
Wilt not fear armies made of twigs. ’Tis true?
GUARD 1
Perhaps, yet follow on: it seems that there
Are rebels on the forest moon, who now
Have hidden, and we know not where. What if
These rebels were to meet the creatures, band
Together, crush the bunker that controls
The shield that watcheth o’er the Death Star, then
Coordinate a wing’d assault, which would
Destroy this battle station and—still more—
Deliver our dread Emperor and Lord
Darth Vader unto their untimely deaths?
Could not just such a chain of dire events
Defeat the Empire strong in one fell swoop?
GUARD 2
Thou shouldst not be a guard, my friend, for thou
Art suited for a life of fantasy.
Thou shouldst a writer be of stories grand
Wherein a group of men and simple beasts
Do overthrow an Empire powerful.
O, it doth break upon my sight: my friend,
The ancient storyteller he, who weaves
His tales to bring delight to all who hear.
GUARD 1
Thou mockest me.
GUARD 2
—Well notic’d! Mark me now:
Thy fears all rest upon a tiny word,
A word so small it should not give thee cause
To fret and worry so: that word is “if.”
“If” there were rebels on the forest moon,
“If” they did meet with creatures and form pacts,
“If” then they could our bunker strong destroy,
“If” they had plann’d to strike our Death Star great.
Thine “if” itself the Empire overthrows,
But “if” knows little of reality.
I tell thee true, if I had richer been,
If I had been a politician’s son,
If I were rais’d in wealth and privilege,
If I myself became most powerful,
Why then, I would be Emperor, not guard!
But for the “ifs.”
GUARD 1
—Thy point is made, and I
Shall rest my “ifs” and be at ease. Now, if
Thou shalt come with me, we have both been call’d
To rearrange the chairs upon the deck.
GUARD 2
If thou shalt lead, I’ll follow, worthy friend.
[Exeunt.
Enter EMPEROR PALPATINE on balcony, with ROYAL GUARDS.
EMPEROR
Our age is but a constant grasp for pow’r,
A time when trust and honor are no more
And all is but a furious race till death.
How doth a person make a life that’s worth
The
living? Is’t by love or ventures? Nay:
The one who hath the greatest pow’r prevails.
The politicians grumble, scrape, and grab,
A’fighting o’er their spheres of influence,
The people cringe and whimper ’neath the loads
Plac’d on them by those in authority,
And all in bleak timidity do cow’r
When in the presence of their Emperor.
O what a piece of work are we! I should
Find joy in our humanity, and yet,
To me, what is this quintessence of dust?
A galaxy of vermin searching for
A crumb of what the best do eat, all rul’d
By those who have the appetite for pow’r—
For in a world of darkness only those
Who serve the dark deserve to live and thrive.
Let those naïve and wayward souls who seek
For justice, wisdom, honesty, and right
Endure such suffering as fits their weak
And simple souls. Let those who love be made
To witness how their lov’d ones scream and shriek
And, at the last, forsake e’en those they love
When tortur’d by the mighty hand of pow’r.
Let those who lurch and stumble t’ward the light
Discover, in the moments ere they die,
The light they sought is but a blaster shot,
Lightsaber beam or lightning of the Sith
That shall their wretched life put to an end.
And let the vile Rebellion choke upon
Its own absurd and innocent ideals,
Until each sick’ning, cursèd, backward soul
Who e’er hath spoken in Rebellion’s name
Lies broken in the streets, beneath my steps.
Aye, let’s kill all the rebels. It shall be,
For power is my slave and I its god.
Enter LUKE SKYWALKER and DARTH VADER on balcony.
I bid thee welcome, young Skywalker. Long
Have I awaited thee. Guards, leave us now.
[Exeunt royal guards.
I do look forward to the moment when
Thy training shall completed be. In time
Thou shalt bow low and call me Master.
LUKE
—There
Thou art mistaken gravely, for I am
Not thine to be converted as thou in
The past did turn my father.
EMPEROR
—Nay, my young
Apprentice. Thou shalt find ’tis thou who art
Mistaken vis-à-vis so many things.
[Darth Vader hands Luke’s lightsaber to the Emperor.
VADER
His lightsaber I give to thee.
EMPEROR
—Indeed.
The weapon of a Jedi Knight, much like
Thy father. Surely, boy, thou knowest well
That never shall thy father turnèd be
Away from dark toward the good; so shall
It be for thee.
LUKE
—O, thou art wrong. Anon
I shall be dead, and thou with me.
EMPEROR
—Ha, ha!
Belike thou speakest of the imminent
Attack that hath been plannèd by the fleet
Of rebel ships?
LUKE
[ aside:] —Alas! How can he know?
EMPEROR
Aye, let me reassure thee we are safe
Here from the foolish undertaking of
Thy wretched friends.
LUKE
—Thine overconfidence
Is thy great weakness.
EMPEROR
—And thy faith in thy
Base friends is thine.
VADER
—’Tis pointless to resist,
My son. Thou shalt be turn’d unto the dark,
And then we three shall rule the galaxy.
EMPEROR
Dost thou not see? All that hath happen’d doth
Proceed according to my grand design.
Thy friends upon the sanctuary moon
Now walk into a trap that I shall spring.
Thy rebel fleet as well: the snare is set
To catch the pests and crush them ’twixt my fingers.
Hast thou yet understood? ’Twas I who did
Allow thy bold Alliance to find out
The site of the shield generator; it
Is wholly safe from thy band pitiful.
I let thy spies believe they had reveal’d
A secret great about this station, yet
’Twas I who leak’d intelligence to them,
So all the pieces would be perfectly
Arrang’d to strike rebellion down at last.
A legion of my finest troops awaits
Their piteous attack. But O, fear not,
For fully operational the shield
Shall be when thy misguided friends arrive.
With skill the players all are put in place,
Much bloodshed and destruction shall they face.
[Exeunt.
SCENE 3.
Space / Inside the second Death Star.
Enter CHORUS.
CHORUS
Imagine you see space, ye viewers true,
In which the final battle shall be fought.
The rebels put their trust i’the Endor crew:
Unless the shield is down, ’tis all for naught.
Yet little do they know that plan hath fail’d,
For Palpatine hath work’d his great deceit.
On Endor is the rebel crew assail’d,
Which doth create disaster for the fleet.
[Exit chorus.
Enter LANDO OF CALRISSIAN, NIEN NUNB, ADMIRAL ACKBAR, WEDGE ANTILLES, and other REBEL PILOTS.
LANDO
Great Admiral, we’re in position now.
Each rebel fighter is accounted for,
And all are now prepar’d for our attack.
ACKBAR
Proceed, then, with the countdown in a snap.
NIEN
[ to Lando:] Ungate-oh ah theyairee uhareh
Mu-ah-hareh. Mu-ah-hareh mu-kay?
LANDO
Nay, worry not, my strangely membran’d friend.
My friend, the valiant Han, shall play his part,
And shall the shield disable in good time.
NIEN
Emutee bitchu me.
LANDO
[ aside:] —Or this shall be
The shortest onslaught we will e’er attempt.
ACKBAR
All groups assume attack coordinates,
And craft prepare to jump to hyperspace
When I have giv’n the sign to make it hap’.
[The ships jump to hyperspace.
LANDO
Now we approach the Death Star, Admiral.
The moment hath arriv’d for us to strike
And win the day in grand Rebellion’s name.
All wings, I prithee, make report.
WEDGE
—’Tis I,
Red Leader, standing by.
GRAY LEAD.
—Gray Leader doth
Stand by.
GREEN LEAD.
—’Tis I, Green Leader standing by.
WEDGE
Now lock thine S-foils in attacking mode.
ACKBAR
And may the Force be with us in this scrap.
WEDGE
[ aside:] Like thee, dear friends, I have observer been
Of all this great Rebellion for a time.
Yet I have also been participant,
And fortunate enough to keep my life
E’en when full many others have expir’d.
The first grave Death Star battle I did see,
All ships but Luke’s and mine were cruelly wreck’d.
I dwelt within the rebels’ base on Hoth,
Where I fac’d AT-ATs in the sno
wy fight.
The second Death Star shall I here confront,
But know not whether I shall live or die.
Still, my life is but little consequence,
For though it ever in grave danger be,
I know I play a mere supporting part
Unto the greater cause of this Rebellion.
I am an actor in a drama vast—
A witness to the tragedy and hope,
The pain, the joy, the sadness, and the fear
That ever follow bold Rebellion’s name.
Like thee, I wonder how the tale will end,
And who shall live to see the glorious day
When falls the curtain on the Empire’s might.
Until that day I shall be on the scene,
To play my part as pilot: faithful, true,
Committed to the play that doth play out,
Determin’d to help write our final act—
To lift our noble cause e’en by a Wedge.
NIEN
[ to Lando:] Lamou-be-o-tee?
LANDO
—But what dost thou mean?
We must be able to detect the shield,
Whether ’tis up or down.
NIEN
—Na mateeou.
LANDO
How could the Empire jam our scan, unless
They knew that we were coming—O, alas!
What awful understanding hath just now
Broke in upon mine unsuspecting mind!
I see now we are caught—break off th’attack!
The shield is up.
WEDGE
—I get no reading, Sir.
Canst thou be sure?
LANDO
—Pull up, good men, pull up!
[The rebels begin to change course and retreat from the Death Star.
ACKBAR
Prepare to take evasive action! Heed