Breaking Free

by Layla Nash

  “I don’t need flowers,” I said, gazing across the room because it was easier than looking at him as I admitted things I hadn’t even dared tell myself. “I don’t—I’m not a girly girl. I’ve never been a girly girl. But it still hurts to be treated like one of the guys constantly. I had to fight to be taken seriously by the other alphas, like all the hyenas have to, and that doesn’t leave any room to want to…to want to be asked out to dinner. Who would dare call up the hyena queen for a date?”

  Nick reached up to touch my other side, his grip gentle but solid, but he didn’t try to drag me down or do anything other than support me. Which only made me want to cry more. A tear escaped and I brushed it away angrily. “It’s just…I thought I would have a partner. Someone who makes me better and who I make better. An equal. And he’s gone, and I’m going to be alone forever because there’s no one in this city with the balls to ask me out for a drink.”

  “Well,” Nick said, the hint of a smile growing just a bit. “For the record, I asked you out just two nights ago.”

  “Yeah, after we killed a couple of guys in a back alley,” I said. “That’s not normal.”

  “We’re not normal.” When I frowned at the glib answer, Nick shook his head and caught my face in both his hands before I could draw away. “Listen to me, Lacey. Normal isn’t interesting. Normal is boring. There’s a hell of a lot going on in this city that isn’t normal, and later tonight we’re going to meet some of the craziest bitches I’ve ever crossed. It’s just another night. But that’s a good thing. I like our normal. I like knowing you’re a bad-ass chick who can take care of herself, but I like it even more that you can lie here next to me and let your guard down. That’s the rare thing. That’s what’s special.”

  It didn’t make me feel any better.

  But Nick wasn’t done. His thumbs caressed my cheeks and a hint of gold flashed in his blue eyes. “And you’re not going to be alone forever. You’re not alone now.”

  “You’re just temporary,” I said. It hurt to admit, but it felt too much like the truth to let it remain unsaid. “You’ll finish this job and find Smith, and you’ll move on. Why would you volunteer to hang around as the consort to the hyena queen?”

  “Maybe because I love the hyena queen?”

  He said it like it was obvious, but he might as well have socked me in the stomach. I hoped it was a joke. I even tried to laugh. “You don’t love me. You’re just trying to be charming.”

  “I’ve already got you in bed twice in the last two days, darlin’.” Nick smiled in that lazy, self-assured way that should have driven me crazy but instead just ignited a wiggle of need deep inside. He stretched and his hands drifted down my sides. “And I do love you. You are the only thing that calms down the wolf, and you brought me back when I was pretty sure everything was too far gone to salvage. Just you. I’d do anything for you. If that isn’t love, I don’t know what is.”

  He scared me on a deep level. That kind of intensity from a man like that... I shook my head. “But you don’t know me.”

  “I do,” he said, and craned his neck enough to brush his lips against mine. “I know enough to know I want to know everything, and that I will do whatever it takes to have the time to learn all of your secrets.”

  I bit my lower lip as I studied his mouth, remembering the intensity of the last time he kissed me. My thighs clenched in anticipation as his leg moved and the gentle friction of his rougher skin against mine sent shivers through me. “I don’t have that many secrets.”

  Nick chuckled. The skin around his eyes crinkled as he smiled, and the hint of gold in his eyes blazed into an inferno as his hand slid low on my hip and brushed my bare skin. “You have a couple that I’m very interested in.”

  And the thin sweats he still wore didn’t do much to disguise that interest.

  I wondered if he would reject me again, if I propositioned him. Even though my muscles ached pleasantly from the earlier fight, I still felt restless and uneasy about the Council meeting and confronting Cassidy. What if I had it all wrong and she didn’t set me up? What if she did and really wanted me dead? What if the whole family wanted me dead? Plenty of people in the family didn’t agree with the direction I took us after Mother’s death, though I thought everyone came around after a few months and the results of our hard work started to show. I’d never felt so uncertain and off-balance; I’d never questioned my decisions so much before I became queen. And I’d lost my way. I’d lost Cal, my rock and compass, and just... drifted.

  I pushed away the thought and focused on the here and now. I needed to feel something real, something good. Nick thought he loved me and thought he knew what being the queen’s consort would be, but I knew in my heart he wouldn’t stick around. A man with an ego that size couldn’t play second fiddle for long, even for someone he lusted after. A couple of months and he’d be long gone. But at least I could enjoy him while he was there.

  Guilt still waited in the back of my head, ready to break free the moment I started to think again, but I needed to act. I needed something to burn off all the nervous, guilty energy. Maybe sleeping with him would clarify everything and I could go back to the cackle with a clear head.

  Nick still waited for me to respond, his fingers drifting up and down my side along my ribs. I’d never considered him a patient person, but he certainly earned the title being tangled up with me in bed, just watching me breathe as I struggled with my thoughts.

  I took a deep breath and forced myself to relax into his touch, and hoped he didn’t ask me too many questions. “Make me feel good, Nick. I just need…I need to feel something good, something real. Please.”

  He squeezed my waist and leaned to kiss me again, though his lips lingered long enough that I closed my eyes and kissed him back. Nick nudged me to my back, following me so he could deepen the kiss and tangle his tongue with mine, and my heart sped up. Being on my back, in a submissive position, immediately made me anxious. I wanted to shove him on his back and have my way with him, use him up until I felt what I needed and could walk away without regrets. The hyena didn’t want to wait; she wanted immediate gratification.

  But I stayed where he put me, testing myself as much as I tested him, and Nick broke the kiss, his mouth leaving a heated trail down the length of my throat. He nibbled on my shoulder, squeezing my hip before letting his hand drift down to the back of my thigh. “Why are you so tense?”

  “This is different,” I said. I closed my eyes as he tugged at the hem of my shirt, then I sat up and dragged the shirt off, reaching for his as well. “Not being in charge.”

  “Do you want to be in charge?” Nick grumbled as he spotted my breasts, his rough palms cupping their full weight as his thumbs rubbed against my nipples. He didn’t sound particularly enthusiastic about letting me take over, and pushed up on his elbows so he could see me.

  It would have been easy to say yes and been done with it. But it felt safe enough to try something new. Something different. And my body thrilled at the idea of just lying back and letting him call the shots. For once, I didn’t have to make the decisions. I didn’t have to give orders or figure out what to do or have a plan. I just got to feel. I shivered and my heart raced, and I almost couldn’t breathe as I stretched my arms over my head and exhaled all that stress. “No. I want you to... take over. Just for now. Just for this.”

  There was no mistaking the smile that spread across his face. Nick rubbed his stubbled jaw against my middle and I jumped, and he chuckled again. He growled a little in his throat, though it wasn’t a threat—more anticipation and eagerness. A readiness to play. Nick tugged at the waist of my borrowed jeans with enough force that the button strained, and I shimmied out of them quickly so he wouldn’t tear them. I still needed to wear them, and I didn’t want to beg more clothes from Kara. Nick’s eyes glinted gold and it was the wolf watching me as his hands slid up and down my legs.

  I closed my eyes and exhaled, wanting to just feel. To be transported. To enjoy the moment
and let go.

  Let go.

  Nick kissed his way down my chest to my stomach, though he continued to play with my nipples, and my breath caught. My underwear disappeared and Nick lay between my legs, pushing my thighs apart. Every movement was deliberate and decisive, with no hint of hesitation, and I tensed in anticipation and desire. We hadn’t showered, after the fight. Everything still felt a little raw and sweaty and real, and what if –

  Nick gripped my thighs a little tighter to keep them from closing. “No, you don’t.”

  I sucked in a breath, lifting my head to look at him. “Wha—” but I cut off as his tongue flicked across the top of my slit. Nick locked eyes with me as his lips sealed around my clit, teasing and sucking and even biting with a rough touch that made me arch off the mattress.

  I groaned and started to work my fingers through his hair, but Nick shoved my arms back toward the headboard and paused the madness long enough to say, “Arms up. Don’t distract me.”

  My hips lifted in response as my head fell back on the pillow at the gruff command, and my breath came faster as Nick’s broad fingers teased my opening. I wanted more, moving to encourage him, but Nick backed off the incredible torment as soon as I felt the climax approaching. I cursed and gripped the headboard until my knuckles ached, but the bastard only chuckled and feathered delicate touches against my clit that nearly drove me insane with desperation.

  “More,” I said, though it came out a groan. “Come on, Nick.”

  “I love the way you say my name,” he said. “But I want to hear you beg.”

  The rough stubble on his cheek scratched the inside of my thigh and I jumped, trying to close my legs around him, and Nick grabbed my ass to tilt my hips. He growled and returned to devouring my aching core. I cried out and squirmed as his broad fingers plunged into me over and over, matching the unpredictable rhythm of his tongue and teeth. Ecstasy built low in my stomach, sparking up to my breasts as Nick pinched my nipple and didn’t let go. He increased the pressure until it twisted into pain and connected with a sudden overwhelming surge of sensation as he sucked my clit against his teeth. I froze as everything else disappeared except the raging pleasure that tore through me, sending shocks over me as I jerked and thrust and came apart in his hands. Still he didn’t relieve the pressure on my sensitive flesh, only holding on as the aftershocks of ecstasy made me pull against his unforgiving grip and torment myself even more.

  Nick pressed his fingers deeper, curving them up to reach every part of me, and growled against me. “Say my name.”

  “Nick,” I moaned. My hips jerked as he licked my slit in a long drag that stole all the oxygen in the room and froze my lungs until I couldn’t breathe or move or do anything but hold onto the headboard. “Please.”

  “Please what?” Nick finally released my nipple and squeezed my ass instead, his fingers digging into the soft flesh, and he bit the inside of my thigh.

  I couldn’t take it. It was too much. Another orgasm hovered too close, so close it was painful. It terrified me with its intensity. I didn’t think I would survive it. “Please wait. Oh my God, please wait.”

  His hand pressed against my stomach, pinning me to the bed no matter how much I moved. Even trying to thrust my hips against his face didn’t help. Nick started to pinch and flick my clit, watching my face as he did it, and I panted and cursed him and gave up on holding onto the headboard so I could grab his head instead. I didn’t know if I wanted to hold him close or push him away, but before I could decide, Nick’s thumb slid between my cheeks and pressed against my asshole and my brain shorted out. I came straight off the bed as a tsunami of ecstasy shoved me into darkness and complete overwhelming pleasure from the unfamiliar sensation.

  I could only feel. My body shook and spasmed, my muscles clenching around his fingers and my hips bucking against his mouth. I’d never felt anything like it as I fell to pieces and collapsed on the bed, sweaty and too weak to move. Nick withdrew his fingers from my channel with agonizing slowness, and I twitched with each tiny movement; even that sensation overwhelmed my nerves. I choked on air, gasping and desperate, and couldn’t even lift my head to beg him for…something. I didn’t know what I wanted anymore.

  Nick dragged himself up the length of my body and captured my wrists. I forced my eyes open, unable to form a coherent thought, and he nuzzled behind my ear as he put my hands on the headboard once more. His whisper against my ear sent shivers all the way to my toes. “I thought I told you not to distract me.”

  My eyes nearly rolled back in my head, and an aftershock of pure pleasure raced to my clit. Jesus Christ. I shivered and tried to regain some of my composure, though my voice came out throaty and unfamiliar. “I didn’t expect… that.”

  “Get ready,” he murmured. “That was just the beginning.”

  I managed to wet my lips, though I couldn’t swallow. I didn’t even know what I wanted to say; all the words evaporated from my head when I saw his expression—hungry and dominant, the wolf nearly in control. Yet I still felt safe. He wouldn’t hurt me.

  Nick let me feel the hard line of his cock as his hips settled against mine, although he still wore his sweatpants. His teeth dragged along my throat. “How should I have you, Lacey? Like this, on your back? On your knees? Should I put you up against the wall? In the shower? Hmm?”

  I groaned and closed my eyes as the mental pictures of all of those possibilities ran through me. Any of them. All of them. He could do whatever he wanted, and I knew I would love it.

  He toyed with my breasts, now and then pinching my nipple to draw a gasp from me. “Tell me, Lacey. How should I have you?”

  The hyena knew. She knew there was only one way. My thighs parted again as his hand drifted down my stomach, teasing the top of my slit. “Knees.”

  “What was that?” He nipped at my earlobe, hands bolder as they grabbed my ass. “Say it again. “

  “On my knees,” I whispered.

  Nick chuckled, though it was mostly growl, and flipped me to my stomach. “Your wish is my command.”

  I closed my eyes and exhaled, ready to feel more.

  Chapter Twenty-two

  Nick

  Nick didn’t think he would be able to control himself or the wolf when Lacey breathed against his neck how she wanted to fuck. He wanted to do everything to her, and with her, and for her. He would have started anywhere she wanted. He would have spent all day and all night with his head between her thighs and her knees over his shoulders, feasting on her. He could tell from the tension coiling through her that she wanted more, wanted to move, and he didn’t mind giving that to her. Over and over and over.

  He growled as she wobbled on her hands and knees, then rested on her elbows, and he found some pillows to shove under her chest to give her more support. He knelt behind her and slid his palms down her back to her shoulders, wrapped her hair around his fist to give an experimental tug, and she moaned.

  He chuckled, leaning down to kiss the small of her back and then down her spine until his body covered hers and his cock slid against her core when she moved and shoved back against him. Nick wrapped his arm around her chest, holding her close, and murmured in her ear, “Are you ready?”

  She nodded, her hips pushing back, and he put a little tension on her hair so she gasped, “Yes, Nick. God, I’m ready. Please.”

  He wanted her slow. He wanted to savor every second, every touch and breath and sensation. He gave her an inch in a gentle push and her head dropped down to the pillows as she moaned. He waited, straining for control, as Lacey’s body clenched around him like a velvet fist. He couldn’t hold back his own groan, holding tight to her hip to keep her from impaling herself on him when he held back.

  She cursed and shook, holding fistfuls of the sheets, and Nick reveled in it even as the wolf wanted to hammer into her and mark her forever. He slid into her another agonizing inch, setting off more spasms, and Lacey froze beneath him as a guttural noise tore out of her. Nick leaned down over her again,
kissing and nibbling on her shoulder, and closed his eyes as he got lost in the soft clenching of her sex. God help him. He was addicted. He’d never get enough of her.

  Lacey went limp against the pillows and into the support of his arm, panting, and after a long moment she started to growl. “You’re killing me, you bastard.”

  “You love every minute of it,” he murmured in her ear, moving her hair out of the way so he could set his teeth against her shoulder. “You want me to stop?”

  “God no,” she said. Lacey got her elbows back underneath her but kept her head on the pillows, shoving her ass in the air and back into him, and Nick groaned in response. The hyena queen looked at him over her shoulder, her eyes soft and hazy and heated with pure lust, and she bit her lower lip. “Just thought you might need some help.”

  He chuckled and released her hair, using both hands to grip her hips, and hauled her to him as he thrust and filled her completely. She cried out and bucked under him but Nick drove forward again and again, loving the long drag of his flesh into hers, and he growled as lust seized him and everything else in the world disappeared except her.

  She moved to meet him in wild, jerking motions that grew wilder and wilder the more he pounded into her. Nick gave up on holding her hips and instead slid his arm under her chest so he could grip her shoulder from below, using his other hand to flick against her clit and make her seize up with a single touch. He hauled her back into each thrust as tension built low in his back, his balls aching, and the wolf started to growl with the need to fill her. To mark her.

  Lacey wailed and started to seize up again and Nick held her tighter, covering her with his body, letting her feel his weight. Their skin slid, sweaty and hot, everywhere they touched. He was close. He knew she was close, could feel it in the way her body moved back to meet him in unpredictable jerks, and he wanted to touch all of her.