Struggling together they removed his formal suit, baring his hot skin. Aroused almost to the point of insanity after these past days of torture, he couldn’t wait to be inside her.
And the feeling was mutual. Andi raised her hips, welcoming him as she breathed hot kisses over his face and neck. Sinking into her again was the best feeling he’d ever had. He guided them into a shared rhythm that made Andi gasp and moan with pleasure.
He wanted Andi at his side—and in his bed—for the rest of his life. She was perfect for him in every way. Brilliant, beautiful, sensual and loyal.
He eased them into another position that deepened the connection between them and made beads of delicious perspiration break out on Andi’s brow. Her breathing was ragged and her lips formed an ecstatic smile. Pleasure swelled in both of them, thickening and deepening and growing into something new—their future together—as they moved together, clinging to each other with fevered desperation.
Jake held his climax off for as long as he could, until Andi’s cries reached a pitch of pleasured anguish that sent him over the edge. They collapsed onto the bed together, panting and laughing, then relaxed into a sleepy embrace.
A sense of deep contentment settled over him, along with the languid desire unfurled in his limbs. Emotions he couldn’t name flickered through him and illuminated his visions of the happy future they’d share, as he drifted off to a peaceful sleep.
Andi watched Jake’s chest rise and fall, while silver beams of moonlight caressed his skin through a crack in the curtains. Her heart swelled with painful sensation.
It had been so easy. She’d told him she was tired and that she wanted to go to bed. Did he care? No. He had his own agenda and her needs were irrelevant.
He also knew she never had a prayer of resisting him. How could one person have so much power over her? He’d ruled her life for six years. Six years during which the joy of being with Jake was mingled readily with the sorrow of knowing their relationship was strictly business.
Now he’d followed through on his promise to seduce her into his bed. He’d driven her half mad with sensation—just because he could—and now he slept like a newborn, without an ounce of recrimination.
If only life could be that simple for her.
He didn’t care if she loved him or not. That didn’t matter to him one bit. He needed a wife and she was a promising candidate with a good résumé. Tried and tested, even, in more ways than one.
Jake probably didn’t want to love anyone. Emotions were complicated and messy, and he wouldn’t like anyone else having that kind of power over him. No doubt he preferred to keep things clearheaded and businesslike.
At least for one more day, she could manage to do the same. She couldn’t bear to think ahead any further than that right now.
The next morning, Andi helped Jake host a palace breakfast for nearly fifty guests. Then they rode through the town in an open carriage with a procession of schoolchildren in front and the town’s marching band behind them. Flags waved from windows and hands and the whole country seemed alive with enthusiasm and energy.
At one point Jake slid his hand into hers and warmth flared in Andi’s chest at the affectionate gesture. But she turned to look at him and he was waving out the window with the other hand. No doubt the romantic gesture was just intended to look picturesque to the gathered crowds.
Her heart ached that she wanted so much more than a relationship put on for show.
Back at the palace a feast filled long tables on the patio outside the ballroom. She had her work cut out for her chatting with female guests—each of whom congratulated her on her engagement and wished her every happiness.
Are you happy? she wanted to ask each of them. Did these elegant women in their designer clothes enjoy close and loving relationships with their important husbands? Or were they content to follow along and smile, enjoying the gourmet food and expensive shoes that came with the job?
She envied the few women who were there in their own right as ambassadors or dignitaries of sorts. In charge of their own destinys and not dependent on anyone.
Whenever she glimpsed Jake, he looked right at home amidst the glamorous crowd, smiling and talking and laughing—in his element.
By midafternoon Andi felt exhausted. Last night’s late-night shenanigans hadn’t helped. As servants cleared the coffee cups and the guests wandered out onto the lawn, she slipped back into the palace for a moment’s breather.
“Hey, Your Majesty.” Livia’s voice startled her as she hurried along the corridor. “Playing hooky?”
“Getting something from my room.” She just wanted to be alone.
“Don’t you have servants for that?” Livia’s brown eyes twinkled with mischief as she caught up with Andi and followed close by her.
“I’m used to doing things for myself.”
“It must be hard to make the leap from PA to princess. Though I think I could manage it.” She crossed her arms. “Shame Jake didn’t notice me first. Still, maybe it’s not too late.” She raised a brow. “I don’t imagine kings usually stick to one woman for the rest of their lives.”
“Have you lost your mind?” Andi’s temper finally snapped. She ran up the stairs, hoping Livia would not follow.
Livia laughed, climbing right behind her. “Oh, dear. We have turned into a princess, haven’t we? I’m just saying what I’ve observed. It must be difficult watching your fiancé dance with other women almost every night. It takes a special person to put up with that, I’d imagine.”
“It’s just part of his job.”
“And I suppose that putting up with it is part of yours.” Livia followed her down the hallway to her own door. “Oh, dear, will I get fired for speaking my mind?”
Her voice grated on Andi’s nerves. “Quite possibly.”
“You must feel pretty powerful right now.”
Not in the least. She wanted to cry. If she was just Jake’s assistant she’d have had no difficulty issuing Livia some task, then talking later to Jake about how she wasn’t working out. Now, somehow, everything seemed more loaded.
More personal.
“Don’t you have a job to do?” Andi turned to her. “There’s a big event going on and you should be running it.”
“You should be attending it, so I guess we’re both skiving off. I’m leaving anyway. Off to New York.” She grinned and crossed her arms.
Curiosity goaded Andi. “You have a job there?”
“You’d know all about it. It’s the one I told you about that you tried to steal from me. I guess it’s lucky for both of us that I tripped you on those stairs in your silly dress.”
“What?” Shock washed over her. “Is that when I hit my head?”
“Oh, did I just say that out loud?” She shook her head, making her red curls dance. “Must be loopy from packing. Certainly was lucky, though! I’d have said ‘have a nice trip’ if I’d known I was sending you into King Jake’s affectionate arms. I saw you dancing around like a loon and him coming to your rescue.”
Andi stared at her. “I think you should leave right this minute before I tell someone you tried to hurt me.”
Livia just laughed. “I couldn’t agree more. I’m looking forward to leaving this sleepy backwater and getting back to the big city. Ah, freedom!”
Anger flashed through Andi as Livia waltzed away. None of this would have happened if it wasn’t for her interfering jealousy!
She couldn’t help being jealous of Livia, now. If Andi married Jake she’d never get to live in New York again. Never be mistress of her own destiny again, with plans and hopes and dreams that could change on a whim.
She’d have duties. Responsibilities. She’d have to be loyal and faithful, serving Ruthenia and Jake until the end of her days.
While Jake danced and flirted and chatted with other women, day after day, night after night.
At least Livia wouldn’t be around to taunt her anymore.
In the bathroom she splashed water on her
face. She looked pale and haunted, so she slapped on a bit of her familiar blush. But even that couldn’t pick up her spirits right now, though. She’d been in the public eye all day, and even though Jake was right there at her side for much of the time, it felt as if they were a thousand miles apart—her craving affection and love, and him needing a royal spouse to put on for ceremonial occasions, much like his sash and scepter.
Last night’s intimacy didn’t make things better. The closeness they’d shared for those brief hours seemed so distant now, like it wasn’t real at all. The memory of his embrace still made her heart beat faster, which only made it hurt more that he didn’t love her.
Were her suitcases still here under the bed? Sudden curiosity prompted her to look. They were. She’d only committed to stay through the end of today. After that she could pack her things—again—and get back on the track she’d planned before Jake derailed her for his own professional needs.
A wife by Independence Day. That’s all he’d needed. If she wasn’t around, he might well have asked Livia. It probably didn’t matter all that much to him as long as she did her job.
Still, she did have a job to do for today. She dabbed on a little of her favorite scent, hoping it would lift her spirits. Didn’t work.
Lying in his arms last night had been so bittersweet. A dream come true, but with the knowledge that it was just a dream. He’d slept with her to win her over to his side, much as he’d done while her memory was gone.
Any pleasure she’d enjoyed withered away when she remembered that.
She dabbed a bit of powder on her nose—it suddenly looked red—and steeled herself to go back downstairs again. She’d pushed herself through enough long and tiring events over the past six years; she could manage one more, even if her heart was breaking.
“Where’s your fiancée?” Maxi sidled up to Jake as a waiter refilled his champagne glass.
“Andi’s around somewhere. It’s a big crowd.” Where was she? He’d been so wrapped up in their guests he’d only glimpsed her a couple of times through the crowd. Still, they’d spent a full hour together this morning being dragged through the town in the ceremonial carriage. Andi had been quiet, which was fine with him. He liked that she didn’t have to chatter on all the time like some women. He hadn’t stopped thinking about her all day, wanting to see her smile, her frown, hear her laugh and even her scolding. She was becoming an obsession.
“Daddy has a proposition for you.”
“Oh?” Jake sipped his freshly filled glass.
Maxi nattered on about some proposed factory project in the eastern hills. He was used to listening with one side of his brain and making the right noises, while using the other side of his brain to plan ahead.
Tonight he needed to let Andi know how much she meant to him. He’d told her with his body, but Andi was a pragmatist and he knew she’d want to hear it in words.
I love you.
The truth rang through him like the old church bell tolling in the distance. Maybe he’d known it all along but not realized it until right now. The reality of it left him stunned and filled with a powerful sense of joy.
He loved her and he had to let her know that.
“What?”
He didn’t realize he’d said the words aloud until he looked into Maxi’s startled face. Her lipstick-painted mouth stretched into a wide smirk. “Thank you, Jake, I’m touched.”
He schooled his face into a neutral expression. “Don’t take it personally.” He raised a brow. “I’m talking about the development project.” He must be losing it. Andi had cracked open some tender new part of him that didn’t quite know how to act. He was so used to being all business all the time that it was hard to switch off that part of him and just be.
Andi certainly didn’t have trouble reining her emotions in. She acted as if she was trying to decide whether to accept a promotion or not. It stung that she had no personal feelings for him at all. He could be alarmed that one slender woman had such a strong hold over him—instead he just wanted to kiss her again.
Andi stood there for a moment, incredulous. A cold, empty space opened up inside her. If Jake loved Maxi, why didn’t he just marry her?
She stepped backward, shrinking back into the crowd before Maxi noticed her. Jake couldn’t love Maxi, could he? She was insufferably arrogant and annoying—he’d said so himself. Unless he was just trying to throw her off the scent.
Maybe he didn’t really love Maxi but just said that to her to keep her favor now that he intended to marry someone else. Maybe he was going around telling every girl in Ruthenia that he loved them and if only he didn’t need a wife who can type and file efficiently…
Her mind boggled.
Jake was a master manipulator; that was how he accomplished so much and managed to get so many people on his side. Now he was masterminding his marriage, and his relationships with every beauty in the nation, with the easy grace she’d always admired.
Except that now she was its victim. So easy to seduce. Such a quiet and willing accomplice. Ready to sacrifice her life in his service.
Except that she had no intention of making that sacrifice.
She’d tell him why she was leaving, and give him a chance to reply, but nothing he said could now change her decision to get away before she signed up for a lifetime of heartache.
She made it through the grand afternoon tea and an enormous dinner. She barely saw Jake at all, so the hardest part was accepting the continued stream of congratulations on her engagement. She wanted to tell them, “I’m not marrying him!” but she didn’t. Too well trained in royal decorum for that.
No. She waited until the last guests had left or gone to bed and she was alone with Jake. She let him lead her to his suite, steeling herself against the false reassurance of his hand around hers or his warm smiles.
Once inside she closed the door. “Independence Day is over, and I’m leaving.”
Jake’s expression turned dark. “You can’t be serious.”
“I am, and I’ll tell you why.” She straightened her shoulders and dared herself to look him right in the eye. He might have power over her, but she was stronger. “You don’t love me.”
“I do. I love you. I’ve been meaning to tell you.” His expression was the same as always, bright and good-humored. Like none of this really mattered.
“But you forgot?” She forced a laugh, though inside she was crumbling to pieces. “You have been busy, of course. I overheard you telling Maxi you loved her. Perhaps you got us confused for a moment.”
Jake smiled. “That’s exactly what happened. I said it to you in my mind and it came out of my mouth in front of Maxi.”
“You must really think I’m a total idiot.” Anger snapped through her at his ludicrous response. “I know I’ve been pretty gullible, believing that we’re engaged when we’re not, and going along with your oh-so-convenient plan to get engaged in time for the big day, but it’s all stopping right here.”
“Andi, be sensible. It’s been a long day.”
“I’m tired of being sensible. I’ve been sensible to the point of madness lately, smiling at strangers while they congratulate me on an engagement I fully intend to break off. It’s enough to drive almost anyone stark mad.”
“I do love you.” Jake’s dark eyes fixed on hers and the intense look in them almost made her weaken.
Almost, but not quite.
“No you don’t!” Her voice rose. “I don’t think you even know what love is. All your relationships are carefully orchestrated for maximum effect. You stage manage us just like the seating plans at your dinners, swapping and changing people to curry favor when needed.”
“I’m not trying to curry favor with you.”
“Obviously not. I was seated as far as possible from you all day.” She enjoyed the retort. “Maybe royal couples are supposed to be kept apart so they don’t get tired of each other.”
“You know that’s just convention. You and I already have a close, in
timate relationship.”
“No, we don’t.” She cursed the way his words made her chest swell. “Just because you’ve seduced me into bed does not mean we’re intimate. You think you can fix everything with sex. If you pleasure me in bed then somehow it will turn into a love that isn’t there. It doesn’t work like that. True intimacy is based on trust, and I don’t trust you.”
He stared at her, the good humor draining from his face. “I know I broke your trust. I promise you I’ll never do anything to lose it again.”
“Once lost, trust cannot be regained. Whether you love Maxi or not, I really don’t care, but either way, I can’t trust you and I won’t live my life with someone when I don’t know if I can believe what they say. It’s too late.”
Just the fact that she could even suspect him of carrying on with another woman made marriage to him a recipe for disaster.
“I want a normal life that isn’t under any spotlights. I’d like to marry an ordinary man who doesn’t have glamorous women kissing up to him all day.” Did she? She couldn’t imagine being involved with anyone after having her heart pummeled by this whole experience. She needed to get out of here before she burst into embarrassing tears.
“I’ve told you I love you.” His features hardened and his eyes narrowed. Silence hung in the room for an agonizing moment. “I’ve given you ample proof that I care about you and think you’re the perfect wife, yet you persist in wanting to leave. Leave then.” His gaze pierced right through her. “I won’t hold you here.”
Andi swallowed. Now he was dismissing her.
Isn’t that what she wanted? She’d already told him there was no chance. “I can’t be the perfect wife for a man who really just wants a permanent assistant.”
“Naturally.” He seemed to look down on her along the length of his aristocratic nose. His eyes flashed dark fire. “I don’t want you to marry me against your will.”
“Good, because I don’t think that would be right for either of us.” Was she trying to convince him, or herself? “It’s important to marry someone you care about. Someone you love.” Her voice cracked on the word love.
At His Majesty's Convenience Page 14