Torn

by A. F. Crowell

  Aha! That got their attention.

  Chapter Thirty-two

  Leila

  “What?” Jaxon rushed to me first, with Brody hot on his trail.

  “It’s time?” Brody asked, eyes as wide as half dollars. “Are you sure?”

  “Well, the puddle on the floor would be a damn good indication,” Barb snarked.

  “Your water broke, babe?” Jaxon took the pans and handed them to Derrick, who was doing a horrible job trying to suppress his laughter.

  “Yeah, in the middle of all your chest thumping. Do you have the car here?” I asked as I started up the stairs to my old room.

  “Fuck. No, I rode over on the bike.” Jaxon continued cussing.

  “Drew, I’m stealing a pair of sweats.”

  “Help yourself, kiddo.”

  Barb ran up and helped me the rest of the way up the stairs. As I crossed the threshold, a contraction gripped me. Barb checked her watch.

  “Eleven oh six,” she mumbled.

  She helped me get cleaned up then dressed. Once back downstairs, I noticed most everyone had left. Jaxon had also disappeared.

  “They said to text them later.” Ashley walked over and took my hand, leading me to the couch. “What can I do, honey?”

  “I’m okay right now. Just need to get back to our house for my bag.”

  “Jaxon left right after you went up. He should be back any minute. He was gettin’ the bag and the car,” Doug filled me in.

  “Oooh,” I groaned and closed my eyes at the pain of the next contraction.

  “Eleven seventeen,” Barb alerted. “Eleven minutes apart, honey. Do you wanna hang here for a little while longer ’til they’re closer to five minutes apart?”

  Ashley sat next to me, still holding my hand as I breathed through the contraction.

  “Brody. Where’s Brody?” I looked around. He was in the kitchen but came right over.

  “I’m here, babe.” He knelt in front of me.

  “We need the camera,” I blurted out. I knew he’d be freaking out right now and he’d need something to focus on.

  “Right, the camera.” He spun and looked to Jane. “Can you drive me home to get the camera?”

  “Of course, dear. Let’s go now and we can meet them at the hospital,” Jane said.

  “Sounds good. I’ll call you as soon as we leave for the hospital, okay?”

  “Right. Okay. I’ll see you at the hospital,” Brody stuttered, then rose and kissed my forehead. “Be careful… I can’t believe she’s going to be here soon.”

  “Drive carefully, please.” I smiled.

  Just as Brody left, I heard my car pull up and Jaxon came barreling through the front door.

  “I’m back, baby. You ready?” His voice was frantic.

  “Jaxon, take a breath, honey. Her contractions are still eleven minutes apart. Y’all have some time. Why don’t you sit down and relax?” Ashley asked sweetly.

  “Huh, why are we waitin’? She needs to be in the hospital,” he insisted and pushed past his mother.

  “Baby, are you okay? What can I do for ya?” He plopped down next to me.

  “Jax, I’m fine. We don’t need to leave yet. Once they are about five minutes apart, then we can go. Did you get the bag?”

  “Yeah, it’s in the car.” He rubbed my back.

  “Barb, are you going come with us to the hospital, or do you want Jax to call you when it gets closer to time?” I looked over my shoulder at her and Drew in the kitchen.

  “I’ll probably hang here with Drew and wait. Then we’ll come up later. You cool with that?” she asked, perched on one of the barstools, swinging her feet.

  “Sounds good to me. No reason for everyone to be up all night.”

  “You wanna take a shower before y’all go to the hospital?” she asked.

  “Yeah, but all my shit’s at home.” I turned to Jaxon. “You feel like running me home so I can take a shower and get my big-ass pillow?”

  “Whatever you want, babe.” He leaned over and kissed me.

  “Good answer, son,” Doug chuckled softly.

  “You certainly didn’t learn that from your father.” Ashley pursed her lips and cut her eyes in Doug’s direction. This had everybody stifling a snicker.

  “Okay, let’s go to the house. I’ll text Brody on the way to let him know we’re going be there, until the contractions are closer together.”

  Jaxon helped me off the couch and I used the bathroom before we left. Halfway home, I had another contraction and thought for sure Jaxon was going wreck my car. It was three blocks, but he drove like a bat out of hell.

  We took a shower together because Jaxon insisted he needed to be close, in case the pain became too much. Afterward, we climbed into the bed and watched TV. The TV helped distract me. Jaxon finally fell asleep about two a.m.

  I loved that he tried to hang in with me, but he needed to sleep. I tried to nap between contractions, but as the night wore on, the harder the contractions became. Brody kept in touch via texts. I told him I’d text him as things got closer.

  I woke Jaxon up at 6:30 a.m. and told him it was time to head to the hospital. The contractions were now between five and six minutes apart and lasting for a good sixty seconds.

  Brody met us, with a wheelchair, as we pulled up to the hospital and he helped me out of the car. How the hell he beat us here was beyond me, but I thought he must have been here before I texted him. He grabbed the bag from the backseat and threw it over his shoulder.

  Amazingly enough, Jaxon didn’t shit a tribe of little baby goats. He simply jumped out of the car and threw, yes threw, the keys at the security guard and yelled, “Here, uh, park it or, uh, tow it, or whatever. My woman’s in labor.”

  “Jaxon. That’s my car. Don’t you tell him to freaking tow it. Go park it. I’m not paying two hundred dollars to get that shit out of impound. Besides, they could scratch it and arrgggh. Goddamn. That hurts. Son of a bitch.” I had a death grip on the arms of the wheelchair.

  “Breathe, Lei—” Brody coached.

  “Shut it, Brody, I am breathing,” I growled through clenched teeth. My abdomen felt like someone was gutting me from the inside out.

  The security guard took one look at me and tossed the keys back to Jax. “No way, man, she’s pissed enough. You park it.”

  “Fuck.” Jax slid his hand down his face. “Babe, I’m gonna park the car and I’ll be right back. You okay with Brody?”

  “Heee heeee whoooooooooo,” I panted and just glared at him.

  “Okay, I’m gonna go.” He ran back around the car and muttered good luck to Brody.

  Poor Brody. He was in for a shit show of a day and he didn’t even know it yet.

  After about an hour of waiting for a room, we were finally upstairs on the L and D floor in a birthing suite. Contractions were now four minutes apart and steady. I was six centimeters dilated and ninety percent effaced. The on-call doctor told us it would be a few more hours before we would welcome our little bundle of joy.

  Joy my ass.

  Bundle of pain and exhaustion, maybe. This shit sucked ass. What the hell was I thinking? No drugs? Jesus, Mary and Joseph. And of course, I made both Jaxon and Brody promise me at least a dozen times each, that no matter what I said or did, not to let me have any drugs. I wanted a natural birth.

  Yeah, well. Fuck. That. Shit. That was before I had experienced transitional labor. Now I wanted drugs and an epidural. Hell, I’d be happy if someone hit me over the head with a bat.

  “Babe, you made us swear on our balls, no drugs,” Jaxon reminded me, while I was on my hands and knees on the bed, in the throes of a hellacious contraction.

  I had already yelled at them and they didn’t budge. They only rubbed my back and fed me ice chips. Oh, and told me to breathe. To which I so eloquently responded with, “How about you go fuck yourself, how about that?”

  “Babe, you can cuss me all ya want, but you’ll thank me afterward.” Jaxon smiled at me, making me want to pun
ch him. Oh, I am going to thank you all right, buddy.

  I was up and down several times over the next two hours, trying to figure out if it was less painful to sit on the birthing ball, squat, sit on my hands and my knees, or just lie on my side.

  As I gripped the bed rail, groaning through another contraction, the nurse entered the room. “How ya doin’, honey? Can I get you anything?”

  Brody and Jaxon simultaneously and overzealously shouted, “No.”

  As the contraction subsided, I took a couple of deep breaths and looked at Emily, my L and D RN.

  “Yes, I want the anesthesiologist. I need an epidural. Like thirty minutes ago,” I blurted out with wide crazy eyes.

  “No, she’s fine. Our birth plan is no drugs,” Jax disagreed.

  “Drugs. Now,” I reiterated, shooting daggers at him.

  “No, Lei. You made us swear.” Jax didn’t waver.

  But Brody did.

  “Jaxon, maybe we need to rethink this. She’s in a lot of pain and with no prior experience, I think we let her make this call.” Brody sympathized with me, rubbing my back. “I’m not sure how much longer I can sit by and watch her in this kind of agony, man.”

  Meanwhile, Emily was charting and checking my monitors. “Let’s check your progress before the next contraction.”

  Both guys quickly moved to the head of the bed and got to checking the ceiling for God knows what.

  “Seriously?” I asked. “You two are a bunch of babies. It’s not like I’m crowning. Jesus, she’s just checking my cervix.”

  “Okay, you’re almost there. Nine centimeters and fully effaced. Which also means no epidural.” She was so chipper and exuberant I wanted to choke her. Although I was thankful she was nice.

  There were a few nurses up here I would have thrown out of my room. You should not be a labor and delivery nurse if you couldn’t be understanding and patient. Women scream when they are in labor because it was excruciating pain, not because they didn’t get ice cream with lunch.

  Emily removed her gloves and left just as another contraction came on. I turned on my side and clutched the railing again.

  About forty-five seconds into the contraction, I finally broke down and cried. I looked over to Jaxon, who was standing in front of me, and began pleading with him. “Please, baby. Oh God, it hurts. Help me, please.”

  The look on his face was gut-wrenching. As his eyes got watery, he swiped the wet rag over my forehead and leaned down. “Baby, I’d do anything I could to take your pain from you. If I could do this for you, I would. But I can’t. This is all you. You can do this. You’re doin’ such a great job, babe.”

  Just as I was coming down, Brody, who was behind me rubbing my lower back, encouraged me. “I’m so proud of you, Lei. You’re so amazing. She’s almost here. Our baby girl is almost here and that’s all you. You wanted a natural birth and you’re doing it.”

  Between contractions I looked at both of them. “Her last name is going to be hyphenated. Davis-Coleman.”

  Neither of them argued or even seemed to flinch at the declaration. They agreed, nodded, and kept feeding me ice chips. Jaxon and Brody had been wonderful the entire time. No bickering or fighting, they were solely focused on me and our daughter.

  Around noon, Barb and Drake popped in. I was just about ready to start pushing and Drake decided now would be a good time to tease me, asking if I wanted him to deliver her. Jaxon and Brody quickly pulled him out of the room.

  Lucky him.

  Barb grabbed the nurse and started prepping the bed.

  “Barb, you don’t have to do this, honey. You’re not working.”

  “I’m just gettin’ the bed ready, then I’ll leave.”

  “No. Stay, please. I really want you here. I know I didn’t ask before, but I wasn’t sure how this whole thing would go,” I rationalized as the nurse left the room. “Please.”

  “I’d love to.” She ran around and hugged me.

  Jaxon, Brody, Dr. Rogers, and a pair of nurses all came back in a few minutes later.

  “Ready to start pushing, Leila?” Dr. Rogers inquired.

  “Not really, but it’s not like I can push pause, huh?” I tried to joke.

  “Not unless you know something I don’t.” She smiled and gowned up.

  Brody and Jaxon took their places next to me and helped support my legs as I commenced pushing. Dr. Rogers agreed to let Barb gown up and catch Lillian as she was born.

  Just as I was crowning and ready to give up, Brody looked at me. “Come on, baby, push hard.”

  “I am pushing hard, you asshole. I swear to all things holy if you tell me to push hard again, I will punch you in your throat.”

  “You’re doing great, Leila. Rest for a few more seconds and then on the next contraction we should be able to get her head out,” Dr. Rogers reassured with a gentle pat on my leg.

  I had always heard about the “ring of fire” but until you experienced it, you had no clue.

  None.

  Several contractions later, I heard the best noise in the world. I heard my baby girl crying. Well, wailing was probably more appropriate and I cried right along with her.

  Overjoyed didn’t begin to cover it. Love wasn’t a strong enough word for that emotion. No word would ever come close to describing that all-consuming feeling.

  “Oh my God, baby, you did it. She’s here,” Jaxon cried and crushed his mouth over mine. “She’s really gross-lookin’ with all that shit on her but she’s beautiful. And she’s got lots of red hair.”

  Brody had tears streaming down his face too. He was speechless as he looked back and forth between our daughter and me. “She’s perfect. Gorgeous. My God, she’s so tiny.”

  Barb held her up and placed her on my chest, wiping her as she went. “Congratulations, Momma.”

  Best. Moment. Ever.

  It was like a flip of a switch. Instant, overwhelming, intense love, adoration, and joy. Nothing would ever compare.

  Brody held her after I did, then graciously looked to Jaxon. “You want to hold our daughter, man?”

  “Hell yeah,” Jaxon managed to choke out.

  Not a dry eye in the house. And not a soul in that room that she didn’t immediately have wrapped around her teeny tiny pinkie.

  At 12:38 p.m. on Wednesday April 22, we welcomed our daughter, Lillian Elizabeth Davis-Coleman into the world, weighing in at six pounds, fifteen ounces and twenty inches long.

  Chapter Thirty-three

  Leila

  The next several weeks flew by in a whirlwind. We had a constant barrage of people in and out of the house. Jaxon’s parents stayed with us for a few nights, then returned to Greenville. Barb, Drew, Drake, Jane, several of the MC brothers, Brody’s friends, and Drew’s friends all came over.

  The night Lillian was born Jaxon told me that he was out of the MC and was quitting his job. It caught me so off guard I had to ask him to repeat himself. “Come again? You’re doing what?” My mouth hung open.

  “You heard me, I’m quitting DHS. No job or revenge is worth losing you or Lilly. The thought of y’all being hurt or even targeted because of my need for adrenaline is unbearable.” He climbed into bed next to me. “Besides, V and I always talked about starting up a security firm and bein’ our own bosses. I talked it over with Drew and he’s game. Kai agreed to come on board and he’s got years of experience, and even a few loyal employees who will follow him over.”

  “Wow, you’ve really got this all figured out,” I said, stunned.

  “It might be rough for a little while but I think we can do this,” he said as I curled into his side.

  “I’m really proud of you for taking this leap. I know you can do this, baby.” I snuggled in tighter.

  When Brody found out, he wanted in as a silent partner. He claimed this change would benefit Lillian and he wanted to support it. These two continued to surprise me at every turn.

  And get this shit: Brody stayed with us the first few nights after Lilly and I were dischar
ged. The first day was tension-filled and awkward, but Jaxon and Brody actually seemed to be getting along. All right, maybe getting along was a stretch, but they were civil to each other, and occasionally nice.

  Brody was over every day. He was understanding and never pushed about taking her. Once she was three weeks old, Jaxon and I packed a weekend bag or six and drove out to Brody’s place. It was her first outing other than the doctor’s appointments.

  I thought Jane was bad with Ruger; she was obsessed with Lillian. She doted on her as if she were her own grandchild. She was probably the closest thing to a grandmother that Lillian would have on Brody’s side. What she lacked for in grandparents was more than made up for by the staggering number of pseudo aunts and uncles.

  Jaxon’s parents loved her as if she were their biological granddaughter. They were such wonderful and loving people. I was grateful for all of the help Ashley provided. She came back down, courtesy of Brody, when Lil was five weeks old. Ashley knew I needed a break since Jaxon had been working around the clock on Viper Security, and Brody was in New York on business.

  When Lillian was six weeks old, Ashley helped me plan a little overnight getaway with Jaxon. I had been pumping extra for the last two weeks, since we started plotting. This way, I would have plenty in reserve so I’d be able to have a couple of drinks. Pump and dump.

  My cell phone chirped, alerting me to a text message from Jaxon.

  Jax: Hey babe. OMW b there in 10. Need anything?

  Me: nope, just you baby! XOXO :*

  “Do you have everythin’ you need, honey?” Ashley asked as she sat in the glider rocker in our bedroom.

  “I think so. I’ve got the pump, storage bags, clothes, cell phone chargers, and toothbrushes. I don’t think we need anything else for an overnight.” I smiled as I watched her cooing to Lil. “I’m going take these out and throw them in the Escalade.”

  “Okay, sweetie. We’ll be right here, won’t we, my sweet Lilly girl?”

  I packed the bags into our new, ridiculously overpriced Cadillac Escalade that, according to Jaxon, we needed. It was safer than my car and his truck. So the day before we were discharged from the hospital Jaxon traded in his truck and got a family vehicle.