Our Way

by T L Swan

  “Same.” She sighs. “I actually don’t know if I believe it.”

  “Oh, come on April.” I throw my hand up in the air. “Why would he lie about that?”

  “I don’t know. Why do men do anything they do?”

  “Right?” I agree.

  “Anyway, poof to him. If Nathan wants Sonya then he can have her.”

  “It’s Stephanie.”

  “Whatever her fucking name is.” She huffs. “We don’t like her, regardless.”

  I love April. She always knows just what to say. “I guess I’m just feeling territorial.”

  “I would be, too. I’d be fuming mad.”

  “Hey.” I frown as I remember what I wanted to ask her. “Are you okay for money? Do you want me to transfer you some? Because I can. I’ve been saving really hard.”

  “Don’t you dare.”

  “April, I don’t want you struggling over there alone.”

  “I’m not struggling. I’m budgeting hard.”

  “Isn’t that the same shit?”

  She laughs. “Probably.”

  “Why don’t you call Roy and demand for all your money that the bastard took? You own half that fucking house, you know. It was your money used for the deposit.”

  “I don’t want his slutty money. I want nothing to do with him ever again.”

  I exhale heavily. “Why are you so stubborn?”

  “Because I’m not giving him the satisfaction of asking that prick for anything, least of all money.” Just the mention of Roy’s name sends her raging mad.

  “Okay, okay. Well, you can ask me for money.”

  “You’re going to need your money too, soon, now that you don’t have Nathan to spoil you.”

  “God, don’t remind me.” I hang on the line. “Do you think they’ve slept together?”

  “I don’t know. Did you ask him?”

  “No.”

  “Would he tell you if they had?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “See, that’s weird, don’t you think? If he didn’t have feelings for you, wouldn’t he just tell you? Why would he hide other people?”

  “The girls think he’s kept his apartment for booty-calls.”

  “For sure.”

  I frown. “You think?”

  “Eliza, have you seen how gorgeous that man is?”

  “Yes. I saw him naked just the other day.”

  “Oh my God… and?”

  I exhale heavily, that’s private between him and I, the term packing heat runs naked through my mind. “No comment.”

  She laughs. “That means its too good to elaborate on.”

  I chuckle. “I’m going.”

  “Come on, more info.” She teases.

  “Goodbye.”

  “Have fun on your date.”

  “We both know I won’t.”

  “Maybe you need a hot one night stand. Fuck Nathan out of your system, so to speak.”

  I giggle. “Maybe. Bye.” I hang up before she can try and talk me into having sex with Samuel. That is not happening.

  It’s Monday night, and the buzzer sounds at my door. I close my eyes. Here goes nothing.

  I’m going to try and let Samuel down gently. I’m just not feeling it.

  “Coming down,” I say into the intercom.

  “Okay.”

  I take the elevator, and with my heart beating hard in my chest, I walk out of my building. Samuel is waiting near the doors, and he smiles when he sees me.

  “You look beautiful.”

  “Thanks.” Oh crap, please don’t be nice.

  He takes my hand. “Let’s go.”

  Nathan

  I sit at my desk and stare at my computer. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt like this before. I’m so wound up about everything, my head feels like it’s about to explode.

  A voice comes through the intercom. “Dr. Mercer, have you finished dictating for me?”

  “No, Maria. I haven’t.”

  “If you want me to finish the reports today, sir, I really need to get on it. I’m running out of time and feeling pressured.”

  “I am well aware, Maria,” I bark. “Stop micromanaging me.” I push the button with force. Fuck…they piss me off out there.

  Knock, knock, sounds at the door. I roll my eyes. “Yes!” I call.

  The door opens, and Maria stands before me with her calender in her hand. She smiles. “Can we go through your schedule, Doctor?”

  “Not now, Maria.”

  “But—”

  “Not. Now,” I cut her off. I go back to my computer, and from the corner of my eye, I notice she hasn’t left. I glance up to see her standing there watching me. “What is it?” I snap.

  “Is everything all right, sir?” she asks timidly.

  “Of course, it is.” I bang the buttons on my keyboard. I feel her still standing there, and I look up once more. “For God’s sake, what, Maria?” I snap.

  “You’ve just been very…”

  “What?”

  “Very testy, and I know how much pressure you are under and I wonder… ”

  I glare at her and raise my eyebrow as I wait for her elaboration.

  “I wonder if maybe you shouldn’t go this week.”

  “Go where?”

  “That there, that proves my point, Dr. Mercer. You never forget anything. You’re booked out for the week to attend a conference here in San Fran. But I don’t think you should go. Take the rest of the week off instead. You’re not speaking. There is nothing imperative you can’t miss.”

  What the hell? I had something on this week and had no idea. What the fuck is happening to me?

  “I’m fine, Maria.” I sigh.

  “No. I’m sorry, sir, this time I’m making an executive decision. I’m cancelling for you. Take the six days off and unwind. You don’t get the opportunity to do this, ever. Do it while you can.”

  Six whole days.

  I put my head into my hand. “God, I could do with some time off,” I murmur.

  “I know you could.”

  My eyes rise to meet hers. “Thank you, Maria.”

  She smiles. “There’s a motive to my madness, you know? Maybe you won’t be such an ogre on your return.”

  I chuckle. “I doubt that.”

  “Me, too.” She laughs. “But miracles do happen. We all live in hope.”

  She turns to leave.

  “Maria?” I call.

  “Yes.” She turns back.

  “Thank you for putting up with me. You’re a saint. I hope you know how appreciated you are.”

  She smiles broadly and then winks. “Enjoy your time off, Nathan.”

  I nod. “I will.” She leaves and I turn back to my computer.

  Six days to sort my life out.

  “Nathan Mercer!” Elliot calls me into his room.

  “Hello.” I nod as I walk past him and fall into his leather chair.

  This is my third visit in ten days.

  Elliot smiles warmly. He’s a calming force. I feel better just by being here, knowing that I have someone to talk to about this.

  “How are you, Nathan?”

  “I’m okay.”

  “Really? Are you?”

  I nod.

  He sits back and crosses his legs as he assesses me. “If that were so, why did you need an emergency appointment today?”

  I exhale heavily, my cover well and truly blown. “Eliza went on a date last night.”

  “I see. And how did that make you feel?”

  “Like I wanted to kill him.”

  “What happened?”

  “I followed them.”

  He frowns.

  “I watched him pick her up, and then…” I pause.

  “And then?”

  “I left, and I went and saw Stephanie.” I swallow the lump in my throat.

  “How did that go?”

  “I don’t know. I drove to her house and sat out the front in the car. Eliza was all I could think about, so I didn’t go i
n. I left and went back to wait out the front of Eliza’s apartment so I knew she got home safe.”

  He frowns. “What happened?”

  I stare into space as I get a vision of her with him in the car. “He tried to kiss her and she turned her head. She didn’t want to kiss him.”

  “That’s good then?”

  My eyes meet his. “I don’t know, is it?”

  “Did they see you?”

  “No. I was standing in the alleyway across the road.”

  He stays silent.

  “She knows,” I say. “That I’m curious. She found the porn I’ve been watching.”

  “What was her reaction?”

  “She was angry that I’ve been lying to her.”

  “Did you tell her why?”

  I shake my head. “No.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because if she doesn’t feel the same… I’ll lose her.” I run my hands through my hair in despair. “I’m not risking it.”

  “Nathan, you do realize that if you do nothing, you will lose Eliza, anyway, don’t you?”

  My eyes meet his. “What do you mean?”

  “It’s inevitable. She will meet someone, and he will be in her bed every night and he will become her confidant. She will learn to depend on him and him alone.”

  I frown.

  “You told me that you don’t want to ruin the friendship between the two of you.”

  “I don’t,” I reply.

  “How long do you think Eliza will want to be best friends with someone and share a bed with him when he is keeping secrets from her? You are already putting a wedge between yourself and her by being dishonest. Whether you realize it or not, Nathan, you are already actively pushing Eliza away.”

  I’ve never thought of it like that before.

  “So, what you need to decide is whether you can live with yourself in years to come, watching her being happy with someone else, having someone else’s children, and knowing that you wanted her and yet you never let her know.”

  “You don’t understand.” I drop my head. “It’s not that black and white.”

  “Isn’t it?”

  “No.”

  “You said she is angry with you for lying.”

  “She is.”

  “So be honest. Tell her the truth.”

  I pinch the bridge of my nose as I imagine how that conversation would go.

  What if she doesn’t want me?

  “You can’t cover a lie with a lie, Nathan.”

  “I know.”

  We sit in silence for a while as I try to process my thoughts.

  “What are you going to do?”

  “There’s no way to know what to do unless I know for certain. I can’t risk opening up to Eliza and then having sex and not enjoying the physical act of it.”

  Although I can’t imagine that happening with her… but it might. I have no idea what to do with a female body, and I have to face the reality of that.

  My eyes meet Elliot’s, and for the first time in weeks, I know what I have to do. “I’m going to find out for sure.”

  I drive up the highway with the headlights leading the way through the darkness.

  Never once do they second guess their direction. You turn them on, they do their job.

  Where are my headlights?

  I’ve been driving around for hours now, too anxious to go home to Eliza.

  Too wound up to go back to my place alone.

  If there was just some way of… I don’t know, seeing a woman without any interaction. Somewhere I could watch and just work out the logistics of my body and what it wants.

  I know who my heart wants, but physically, I’m confused.

  A thought comes to me. I frown and pull over the car as I go over the possibility in my mind.

  Yes, why didn’t I think of that before?

  I turn the car and do a U-turn.

  I know where I need to go.

  I take out the gold card from my wallet and stare at it.

  C L U B .. E X O T I C

  I’ve had this for what seems like forever, and I’ve never once even considered it. It’s a gold membership visitor’s pass. I was given it by my friend, Cameron Stanton, years ago. He always frequents here on his trips into town. At least he used to.

  Every member gets to sponsor a guest, and at the time, he gave this card to me. I paid it no attention but now I have to wonder why. Did he know this day was coming?

  It’s 11:00 p.m., and I walk up to the entrance. There are no signs, no advertizing—just a black door with four big security men guarding it.

  This club is exclusive. It’s $150,000 a year for the membership, and from what I understand, anything goes.

  Which suits me to a tee, because it just so happens that I’m in the mood for anything.

  The badder, the better.

  I hand the card over and they scan it before they open the door with a nod.

  “Thank you.” I walk through and come to a gold reception desk, where three beautiful women stand before me. They’re wearing short, tight chocolate leather dresses with cream thigh-high boots. Their cream, lace bras are peeking out from their low-cut dresses. Their breasts are voluptuous and tempting.

  My hungry eyes don’t have to behave here, and I drink them in.

  I can do whatever the fuck I want.

  Adrenaline rushes through my bloodstream, and for the first time in a long time, I feel wild and alive.

  Free.

  “Hello, sir.” The girl with the long, blonde hair smiles. “How lovely for you to join us this evening.” She scans the card through and takes my hand. “My name is Bunny. This way.”

  She leads me into the club, which is sultry and sexy. There’s an overall feeling of luxurious fantasy, and a low tantric beat thumps through the sound system. The place is dark with moody lighting.

  The hairs on the back of my neck stand to attention.

  I’ve never been anywhere like this before.

  My eyes scan the room. It’s huge, on three levels, and exotically furnished. There’s a runway with a stage on the bottom floor. A woman with long gold hair is writhing naked on a black leather chair on the stage, and my eyes narrow in on her. Her legs are wide apart.

  She has a vibrator. It’s big… and hard.

  I watch it slide into her body, and then back out.

  I watch her do it again.

  She puts it in her mouth and sucks it off. My dick clenches in appreciation.

  Fuck, yeah.

  “Do you want a private booth, sir?”

  “Yes.”

  She leads me into a boxed off area of the club. There’s a large, leather couch, and a table in front of it. I have full view of the stage.

  She sits me down in the chair, and then without warning, she straddles me. Her legs wrap around my body. Her sex, plush up against my cock. She puts her lips to my ear and whispers, “What do you want to drink, sir?”

  “Scotch,” I whisper back. My hands slide up her thighs, and I lick up her neck—the temptation too great.

  “Do you want a little pick me up?” she breathes against my neck.

  I grab her face and turn her ear to my mouth. “I do.”

  She smiles darkly, and then rotates her hips over my cock. She puts a cigar in my mouth and lights it.

  I inhale deeply as we stare at each other. She stands, and I watch her walk off through the crowd as I blow out a stream of smoke.

  Fucking hot.

  I rearrange my cock in my pants. It’s near painful.

  My phone dances across the table in front of me. I glance at the caller. Alex.

  Shit, he’s called me three times already tonight. I’ll answer it quickly so he leaves me alone.

  “Hello.”

  “Hi, where are you?”

  I glance at my surroundings and smirk. I wish he was here with me. “In a bar,” I lie.

  “You all right?”

  “Sure am.”

  Two women walk into my cubic
le and I frown. One has long dark hair, and one has long red hair. They are in G-strings only—topless and stunning.

  What are they doing?

  “Did you talk to Eliza?” Alex asks.

  The girl with the long dark hair lies down on her back on the table in front of me.

  “No,” I answer, distracted by what’s going on around me.

  The blonde gets something out of her little gold clutch purse, and they fuss around a bit.

  “I was thinking that maybe you should just tell her,” Alex continues.

  “Yeah, maybe,” I murmur. “Listen, I’ve got to go. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  I look down to see four lines of coke on the brunette’s stomach.

  “Okay,” Alex says, “Speak tomorrow.”

  My eyes are locked on the brunette in front of me, and she smiles up at me. “You ready to go, bad boy?” she whispers.

  I smirk.

  “Hey, Nathan,” Alex says.

  “Yeah?”

  “Don’t do anything stupid, hey?”

  I bend and slowly lick her lower stomach, and her eyes flutter closed.

  “Don’t worry,” I whisper. “I won’t.”

  I knock on the door. I’m on a fact-finding mission.

  Mercer Research.

  Stephanie opens it up, and her eyes widen. “Hey, you.”

  Urgency takes over.

  I can’t hold it together for one minute longer. I step forward and take her into my arms, and I kiss her. My tongue sweeps through her open mouth, and she smiles against my lips.

  “Now, that’s a greeting.”

  I kick the door closed behind us.

  I don’t want to talk.

  I don’t want to feel.

  I just want to find out what’s possible.

  For Eliza.

  We stumble forward with her hands in my hair. The kiss is wild and unbridled.

  My hands are on her ass, and my hard cock is up against her stomach.

  I fall onto the couch and pull her over me. She straddles my body, and I grind her over my cock as our tongues thrash between us.

  She falls to the floor between my knees, and I smile darkly as I unzip my pants. I grab my cock at the base and hold it up for her.

  “Suck me.”

  11

  Nathan

  I stand under the strong stream of water in my shower, and I let the hot water pour over my head. I stare at the floor beneath me.