Broken Harmony

by Brenda Barrett

  On a whim he decided to Google Alka Singh. He hadn't done that before. He was almost overwhelmed with results.

  He narrowed it down to Alka Singh India and hit the jackpot on the sixth entry. It was from the Indian Times in the gossip section. He clicked on the article.

  Rajiv Singh, popular producer and Bollywood royalty, announced yesterday that he and his wife Alka Singh, a gynecologist, are expecting their first child. The couple is over the moon happy. Big congrats to them.

  Boris slumped in his chair. He felt a speck of sympathy for Aaron. That sucked; his brother was in Jamaica pining over Alka while she was in India, pregnant for her husband. He looked at the file picture on the computer. They looked ridiculously happy. Alka was grinning from ear to ear and her husband was hugging her to him with a pleased smile on his face.

  His sympathy for Aaron only lasted so long, though. He was his competitor and everybody's favorite person.

  He printed off the picture from the screen and the accompanying article and whooped with laughter. If he showed this to Aaron it would probably paralyze him for weeks to come.

  He almost ran to Aaron's office. He even gave Corvette a big grin, even though she was looking at him in that dismissive way of hers.

  All was well in his world and not even Aaron's dragon lady could deter him from feeling happy. He was about to destroy Aaron's day, maybe even his year, and send him into a funk of depression—it would take a crane to lift him out when Boris was done with him.

  "Aaron is not seeing anybody," Corvette growled when he headed for the office door with the gold lettering: Aaron Lee, Vice President. As usual he smirked at the sign and then clutched the handle of the door with anticipation.

  "He'll want to see me," Boris said happily. "I have important news."

  Corvette sent him a look of distrust. He turned away before he could hear her tart retort. Someone needs to muzzle her, Boris thought resentfully.

  Aaron looked up when Boris waltzed into his office with a smug grin on his face.

  "What now?" Aaron asked. His eyes were bloodshot and he looked tired.

  Boris wavered for a moment. Maybe he shouldn't kick him when he was down.

  He should wait and see how best to use the information so that he could publicly humiliate Aaron and cause real damage to his psyche.

  "Nothing." Boris backed away toward the door. "I thought I'd share something with you but I think I'll wait till it's absolutely the right time."

  "You know, Boris," Aaron said contemplatively, "I think you are a narcissist and you need help. Find a counselor, somebody. How you got this way is beyond me."

  Boris smirked. "I am fine, just fine, Aaron. You, on the other hand—I think you are going down and you should be the one who should find a counselor."

  Chapter Fifteen

  Alka sat in Rajiv's office as still as a statue. Just this week, she had belatedly found out that she was pregnant. She had done the test herself in the hospital after work. She had whooped with joy, a breathless feeling of wonder encasing her frozen body. Apparently her nausea and listlessness and aching feelings of misery had not been down to the fact that she missed Aaron terribly. Instead, she found out that she was going to have Aaron's baby.

  She had thought that Rajiv would grant her a divorce when he found out. It was perfect timing. He was responding well to treatment and didn't look or act at all sick.

  It would be her opportunity to return to Jamaica and Aaron's arms and never leave again. Her dreams of them finding a solution to be together were finally coming through. Eight weeks of misery were coming to a end. Instead, when she told Rajiv that she was pregnant he had gone still and then, as if he hadn't heard, urged her to get ready for the stupid premier party that they were supposed to attend. It was his show and most of the who's who in Bollywood were attending.

  When they interviewed him on the red carpet, Alka had been shocked out of her wits when Rajiv, with a pleased look on his face, had announced to the media that they were going to have a baby. It had taken all the powers of acting that she had to smile for the cameras. She had been shocked speechless. Obviously, he was not planning to let her leave and was putting a positive spin to the situation.

  One week later she had had to come to his office directly from work. She needed to confront Rajiv. She knew he was avoiding her because this past week it was almost as if he was hiding from her. He came in late in the evenings and left early in the mornings. She sat in his office while he talked on the phone. When he got off the phone he looked at Alka, a downward tilt to his mouth.

  "You look displeased."

  "That's because I am," Alka said slowly. "Rajiv, I want a divorce. You said every five years we would discuss this. I want to discuss it now."

  Rajiv shook his head. "I can't divorce you now. We are going to have a baby."

  "No, we are not." Alka gritted her teeth. "Rajiv, this has gone on too long. It's time we ended this farce of a marriage."

  "So that what? You can go to him?" Rajiv growled. "Your Jamaican lover is as good as dead to you."

  Alka jumped, she had never seen him look so fierce before. "Listen to me, Alka. Rajiv walked around the desk and squatted before her. She could see the fine hairs on his face and the beginning of a five o'clock shadow. His brown eyes were liquid pools of earnestness.

  "You are mine. This baby that you carry is mine. I am not letting either of you leave India without me. Wherever you go from now on, you go with me."

  Alka gasped. "What? But you said..."

  "I love you," Rajiv said holding her hands. "I am not letting you go."

  "No," Alka sobbed. "No. Rajiv you promised me my freedom! You did! You did!"

  Rajiv straightened up. "Alka, you had better realize a few things." Alka looked at him fearfully; never had she seen Rajiv look so stern or had him speak to her so harshly. "I am the head of the house. I allowed you freedom to do what you please for too long now. First, I am going to insist that you stop working." Rajiv pushed his hands into his pockets. "That hospital is no place for a young mother to be. It's the best option for you and the baby."

  Alka opened her mouth but only a squeak came out. Fear and anger had all but rendered her mute.

  "I also took away your passport. I can't have you going away again for a vacation without telling me."

  "Rajiv, have you gone crazy?" Alka whispered. "This is kidnapping."

  "No, this is a husband who is exercising his rights," Rajiv cleared his throat, "and if you ever breathe a word to anyone that this child that you carry is not mine, I will kill you."

  Alka felt a deep shiver running against her spine. Suddenly Rajiv looked like a different person. It was the same oval face, the same handsome features, the same straight hair cut into a deceptively tousled look, but the man staring at her was not the same.

  The gentleness and kindness were rolled back like tin foil. She was looking at a man who meant business; a man who just announced to her that he took away her passport and that he would have her killed if she told anyone that her baby wasn't his. Beneath the usual calm demeanor, she was staring at an evil, rotten man.

  She was staring at centuries of her own menfolk. The veneer of sophistication and education that Rajiv had was just that, a veneer. He could be as basic and as cruel as any other man.

  "And don't think I am going to allow you freedom to contact your baby's father either, Alka. Oh no, I am smarter than that. I will not have him coming to India to bump into you accidentally.

  "I know he has the means to travel. Since your pregnancy I had to find out who the man was who had the audacity to sleep with my wife. So that's why I am going to police your phone calls and emails until I can trust you not to leave me. You are my captive with limited freedoms."

  Alka curled her hand over her belly. Rajiv watched her hands keenly and then said on a sigh. "This baby is a godsend. In the village I will no longer be looked upon as some strange species because we have not yet had a child. Nor will you, I might add. Our re
spective families will be happy."

  Alka got up angrily. "I am going to tell everybody that you are impotent. I will find a lawyer and divorce you. I am not staying in this marriage."

  Rajiv laughed. "Too late for your righteous indignation Alka. Ten years too late. If you had loved that guy so much when you were younger, you should have not returned to India. You should have fought for your love back then."

  He walked back to his desk. "Unfortunately for you, you stayed with me and I developed feelings for you. Deep feelings. I might be impotent, as you put it, but you stayed."

  "Because you promised me an out every five years!" Alka screamed. "And I was young then, and foolish, and unsure, and stupid enough to want to honor our families' marriage arrangement."

  "Well, why didn't you take me up on that promise five years ago?" Rajiv asked. He snapped his fingers. "I know why: you wanted to stay."

  "I was sick." Alka sat down miserably. "I was tired and felt so low. I felt like I was walking in molasses. I could barely get up out of bed to do my exams, much less return to Jamaica to Aaron. You know that."

  Rajiv opened his arms expansively. "Okay. You were sick. Why did you return from Jamaica, your last trip? Didn't your great lover Aaron want you?"

  "I came back because I stupidly thought I should stick around for you because you are sick with cancer," Alka said vehemently. "I didn't want to leave you in your time of need, but here you are looking healthy and strong and threatening me. Rajiv, please don't do this. Let me go. Please."

  Rajiv shook his head. "No can do. You have had several chances to leave and you didn't take them."

  Alka sobbed, "Rajiv, please."

  Rajiv leaned forward in his chair and mocked her. "I could consider letting you go, if you leave the baby behind."

  He looked at her smugly. "That's right, I will grant you a divorce as soon as the baby is born. I will even say it's my fault and I made you unhappy. That child is your get out of jail free card. That's my final offer. Think about it."

  He got up. "Let's go home. You look exhausted..."

  Alka stood up numbly. "You know I would never do that. I couldn't leave my baby behind."

  "So you are stuck with me," Rajiv said. "I am pretty sure there are worse things that can happen."

  Chapter Sixteen

  Aaron reluctantly went to band practice on Wednesday, twelve weeks after Alka left. He was no closer to feeling fine than he was the day that she walked away from him that fateful Monday afternoon to board the plane, with tears streaming down her face. He had wanted to snatch her back then.

  But he had watched her walk away from him one more time. He had walked from the airport and into his car in a daze. He had been taking out his emotions on a punching bag in his home gym. He was fitter and leaner than he had ever been and more miserable emotionally than he had ever imagined he could be.

  He slammed out of the vehicle and locked it, pushing his hands in his pockets.

  "Uncle Aaron," Mia waved to him. She was pushing two strollers. One was pink and the other blue.

  "Hey Mia," he said ruefully. "If you are babysitting then I am assuming your mom and Ruby are here."

  "Oh yes." Mia grinned at him. "Apparently there is some major development with the band."

  Aaron moved closer to them. He looked in the strollers. The little girl, Amber, was a chubby toddler who had Ian's eyes. She was aptly named and then there was Carson's son, Jonathon. He was looking up at him and smiling.

  "You see that?" he asked Mia. "He smiled at me."

  Mia laughed. "He does that to everyone."

  Aaron shook his head. "When you were a baby you used to smile at me exclusively," Aaron said fondly.

  "All my uncles say that," Mia said, unimpressed.

  Aaron straightened up and grinned. "All the others are lying to you. How is school?" He looked at Mia properly. It was as if she had gone through a growth spurt overnight. She was what, fourteen now? As usual she had a book tucked under her arm.

  They were all going to have problems beating off the boys. She was a pretty girl, even prettier than her mother Alice when she was her age. The thought made him feel old suddenly.

  He should be looking to have a child or two of his own instead of pining for a woman who was a continent away.

  "School is okay." Mia wrinkled her nose. "I wish I could just snap my fingers and have the necessary education to come back and run this place."

  Aaron chuckled. "You planning to send Carson into early retirement?"

  "No," Mia said primly. "He can do administrative work. I'll work on the cars."

  Aaron laughed out loud. Amber squealed and clapped her hands and Jonathan started pumping his feet. They were happy babies, responding to his mirth. He felt a shaft of longing for his own child so sharp that it almost made him breathless. He left Mia and headed upstairs to the band room.

  "Hey guys." He entered the warehouse to a somber looking group. They were all sitting in a circle.

  Aaron joined the circle and sat between Logan and Jayce. "Am I late for this meeting?" He looked around. "Mia said you guys are discussing important band business."

  "No, you are not late," Melody said. "You are right on time, actually. I called around yesterday to inform you about this meeting. I couldn't get through to you."

  "Sorry about that." Aaron nodded. "Locked up in meetings all day."

  "Well, since Aaron is here," Melody said taking out a letter, "let me read this."

  To Whom It May Concern:

  The Cedar Hill church is sorry to inform the New Song Band that pursuant to the Church Manual, which dictates appropriate behavior and conduct as it relates to church members, the following members are under suspension and should not play with the band unless cleared by the church board:

  Aaron Lee- fornication

  Jayce Morgan- intemperance

  Logan Moore- representing a clearly guilty woman in court.

  Your sincerely,

  Pastor A. Greenwald

  Logan was the first to start laughing. "Really? Can he do that?"

  The rest of the band and the wives were talking loudly and over each other.

  "So," Melody said when the talk had died down, "the band only consists of four members, Alice, Carson, Ian and Xavier, until Greenwald decides otherwise?"

  Jayce wiped his eyes; he had just stopped laughing, "I think he has gone a little mad. He is putting the band in his witch-hunt because of my past with Haley and he couldn't get me on anything else so he is attacking my size. Is he going to suspend all the big members of his congregation?"

  Logan snorted. "No wait. He is suspending me from the band because I am defending a woman in court that he decided was guilty?"

  Aaron watched them as they argued about the letter. He didn't say a word. He had nothing to defend.

  Greenwald was right about him but how would he police his entire congregation was another thing altogether. He was going to burn out himself with this delving into people's lives and calling out their sins. Somehow it didn't feel godly for Pastor Greenwald to do so. It was Pharisaical. It felt very much like the story about Jesus and the woman caught in adultery.

  Woman caught in adultery. He breathed deeply. He had caused Alka to commit adultery. He felt slightly sick to his stomach and though he knew that nothing could ever come from their relationship, he still wanted her.

  "I think we should go pro," Melody said. "This is just the push we need to stop clinging to the old ways of doing things. I mean, you guys grew up in the church, the band was formed at church and so you've always been associated with it and we do a lot of small church gigs. I say you record an album and stop treating this as a little side project that you guys do after work on a Wednesday. Go pro, and this letter from Greenwald won't matter anyhow. Who's with me?"

  Jayce, Alice and Carson put up their hands. Xavier, Ian and Logan shook their heads.

  Melody sighed. "This is just great. You guys, you can't let Greenwald dictate to us. Who does he thin
k he is, God? You guys do a lot of good in the community, you make people happy and you play for charity."

  Aaron got up; he felt queasy. "Hey guys," he said faintly, "I am going to take off. Not feeling so hot."

  "Don't go, Aaron," Melody said. "Yours is the deciding vote."

  Aaron shrugged. "I don't care one way or the other. I think I might quit the band."

  He walked toward the door, leaving a group of shocked faces behind him. He just didn't have the energy to care.

  *****

  As soon as Aaron got in his car his phone rang. It was Valeria; her voice sounded bright and chirpy.

  "Aaron can you come over to our place?"

  "I am not in the mood, Grammy," he said, backing out of the parking lot.

  "You are never in the mood these days," Valeria said, a pout in her voice. "I have a surprise for you."

  Aaron sighed. "A surprise?"

  "Yes. A wonderful surprise," his grandmother said with a laugh. "You'll love this, I promise."

  Aaron grimaced. He was not in the mood for a surprise from his grandmother. He wanted to be alone. He desperately needed a reset. Why couldn't his grandmother see that?

  Everyone was treating him as if the doldrums that he found himself in would just die naturally. He had a funny, uncomfortable feeling that this yearning, this loneliness that he found himself swimming in would never go away. He would probably have to adjust to it, but it would always be there.

  After his grandmother reassured him that he would not be wasting his time, he hung up the phone and turned on the radio. One woebegone love song after another belted from the radio. By the time he drove up to his grandparents' place in the exclusive Spring Farm neighborhood, he was feeling much worse than when he walked out on his friends a few moments ago.

  He stepped out of the car, realizing that there was an unusual amount of cars in the parking area.