Shatter

by Rachel Van Dyken

  She grinned at me, but there was no time for me to smile back. My lips were on hers in such a fast frenzy that she stumbled backwards. I lifted her into my arms and devoured her mouth, plunging my tongue into her warmth, tasting, teasing — but most of all claiming. Mine, mine, mine.

  A throat cleared behind us. I didn’t give a damn. I kept kissing her, for everyone in the freaking universe to see. She was mine. I loved her, and damn anyone to hell who thought they could ruin what we had, including Ruben.

  After a few more blissed-out seconds where I’m not proud to admit I undressed her with my mind at least a dozen times, I placed her back on the ground.

  “Well, that was awkward.” This from Jaymeson.

  Angelica was still staring at the ground.

  “Who’s next?” Ruben asked.

  Jaymeson pulled a piece of paper out of his fishbowl, with a bored sigh he read the contents. “Do I have any STD’s?” He laughed. “Is this for real?”

  Ruben eyebrows lifted.

  “Shouldn’t this be Angelicas question?” Jaymeson added, flinging the paper into the air. “Whatever, doesn’t matter. No, I don’t have any STD’s. I’m not that much of a man-whore.”

  I didn’t think it would be the right time to actually point out that, yes, he was in fact the biggest man-whore I’d ever met.

  Ruben looked to me.

  “Fine, my turn.” I rolled my eyes and grabbed a piece of paper from the bowl. “Do you ever wonder why you and Alec look like polar opposites?” I laughed and slammed the paper on the table. “I think we all know the answer to that one.” I pulled Alyssa to my side and kissed her head. “I’m the hotter one, and when I was in my mommy’s tummy it was summertime. Therefore, I have lighter hair and eyes. When Alec was in our mother’s tummy it was winter, so he looks darker and, might I add, more pale.”

  “Did a stork also drop you off when your mom went into labor?” This from Angelica.

  “She speaks!” I clapped and handed her the fishbowl. “Your turn, slut.”

  “Very funny.” She dipped her hand in and pulled out the strip of paper. Her eyes widened as she looked at the paper, and then she crumpled it up into her hand. “This is stupid, Ruben.” She put her hands on her hips. “I’m not doing this. Find another way to get everyone’s dirty secrets!”

  “What’s fair is fair.” He was seething.

  “Fine.” She slammed the paper onto the counter. “Yes, it sucked when I got pregnant at sixteen! Yes, it almost ruined my film career, and that’s a hell, yes, I went to rehab to deal with the abortion!” She stormed out of the room. The sound of her heels clicking against the tile floor may as well have been my conscience making me feel like a genuine jackass. How did I not know any of that? To be fair, I didn’t really pay attention to gossip. Mainly because I wasn’t interested in who I was “sleeping with” or what starlet I just “abandoned.”

  “Holy shit.” Jaymeson looked down at his hands. “Holy freaking shit.”

  “You’ve said that.” I tried to laugh, but it fell on deaf ears. He turned to me and scowled. “Last night I…” He swallowed. “I may have told her something like she should just go kill herself since nobody liked her.”

  “A bit harsh, Jaymeson.” Alyssa snapped.

  Jaymeson pushed away from the table and ran after Angelica, leaving Alyssa and me in the kitchen with the production crew and Ruben. “Happy now?” I asked. “Tell me, is it your goal to ruin everyone’s lives?”

  Ruben sneered. “Maybe you should be asking your brother that question.”

  He grabbed a can of soda from the fridge and began talking about edits to the production crew.

  My stomach filled with dread. I quickly dialed Alec’s number to fill him in on what was going on, but his phone was off. Either that or dead. He needed to know what kind of hellstorm he was coming back into. We were officially a few questions away from the point of no return. Nobody knew Alec and my original reasons for being in Seaside in the first place, except a select group who’d take it to their graves. If they kept asking questions, I didn’t even want to think about the ramifications. Forget the shit Alec was going through. We had much bigger problems. Like how we were going to keep our past hidden when Ruben was stopping at nothing to make it public?

  Chapter Twenty-three

  Alec

  “Look, a whale!” I pointed at the stuffed animal in the airport and nudged Nat.

  She glared.

  For living on the coast, she really didn’t have her sea legs. She threw up the entire boat ride. I was finally able to convince her that we should go back to the hotel until she felt better.

  Once she had some food in her stomach she was fine. Though still pissed she hadn’t seen any whales. Thus the stuffed animal.

  “You suck.” Her punch was weak. I laughed and grabbed her overnight bag from her. In the distance a few people had their phones trained on us, most likely taking pics or Tweeting about our little “fight” in the airport.

  “Ugh, I swear it still feels like I’m still on that damn boat,” Nat muttered into my chest. “Crackers?”

  I reached into her bag and pulled out some crackers for her and a bottled water. “Better?”

  She ate the cracker and nodded. “Damn whale.” She pointed at the offending stuffed animal.

  “Admit it.” I took the crackers and bottled water from her and put them back in her bag. “You kind of want one.”

  “A whale?”

  “A stuffed animal. To remember the weekend by?”

  “Alec, I don’t really want to remember the throwing up.”

  I smirked. “That’s not all we did.”

  “Right, and I’m sure all of that…” She turned red. “Didn’t help!”

  “Liar.” I kissed her cheek. “That always helps.”

  “Fine, buy me the damn whale and let’s get on our plane.”

  Chuckling, I walked into the store with the whale and pulled out my credit card. My body froze when my eyes fell onto the gossip magazines in front of me. There was a picture of me and April hugging. How the hell did they get that? The headline read. “AD2 golden boy cheating on his girlfriend with an older woman?”

  I turned the magazine around, and then my eyes fell on the next one.

  “Shit.” I put the whale on the counter and turned around, blocking Nat’s view of the magazines. “Babe, will you do me a favor and call Demetri? My phone’s been off, and I want him picking us up at the airport. That okay?”

  “Sure.” She pulled the phone from her purse and walked out of the store.

  I quickly flipped the rest of the magazines, much to the amusement of the checker who was eyeing me like I was high on something.

  The last magazine had a picture that made me want to vomit. I had no idea how they had that picture. No freaking idea. April was lying in her hotel room sleeping, pill bottles scattered around the table next to her.

  Producers Wife Tries to Commit Suicide.

  “I hate the media.” I cursed and swiped my credit card through the machine.

  The clerk snorted. “Says the rich celebrity.”

  “Excuse me?” I snapped.

  “You heard me.” He pointed down to the magazines. “You knew what you were getting into the minute you signed up for that craziness. I don’t get why celebrities complain so much. Press enter on the screen please.”

  I wanted to press my fist into his face, but instead, barely controlling my anger, I pressed the button and gripped the countertop.

  “Have a nice day,” the man said, handing me the bag.

  I held his gaze for a bit before nodding once and then saying in low tones. “I don’t care what anyone says. No celebrity, no one, asks for this shit to be made public.” I threw two of the magazines onto the counter and stomped off.

  Nat waved me over to the bench she was sitting on chatting happily with Demetri and then her face fell.

  Pale. She looked too pale.

  Was she still feeling sick from the boat r
ide or did she have bad news? I fought the urge to run, and instead slowly walked up to her side, placing my hand on her shoulder.

  “I understand.” She swallowed. “How bad?”

  Nat exhaled a curse and ended the conversation.

  “What’s going on?” I kept my voice light even though I was dying inside.

  “Guess what our theme is this week?” She stood and handed me her bags so I could carry them.

  “Hell?”

  “Worse.”

  “What’s worse than that?”

  “The past. Our theme is the past. Apparently Ruben has bowls of questions for each participant. Last night Angelica ran off, she got super drunk, and Jaymeson found her stripping and trying to go swimming in the ocean.”

  “She could have died! Is she insane?”

  Nat shrugged. “Demetri says it’s not going to be a pleasant week. He just wanted to prepare us.”

  “Let’s screw it all. You know? Who the hell cares? Let’s stay in Seattle.”

  Nat peered up through the hair that had fallen across her forehead. “That doesn’t sound like the Alec I know.” She shrugged. “I say we power through and then go on a really long vacation somewhere tropical.”

  “Consider the tickets booked.” I smiled.

  “Good.”

  “Nat?” We walked toward the first class lounge.

  “Hmm?”

  “Promise me something.”

  “Anything.”

  “Trust me.”

  With an exaggerated eye roll, Nat nudged me. “Already there.”

  “No, Nat.” I bit down on my lip. “I’m serious, just trust me. Trust in us. Can you do that?”

  “Again, I already do, Alec. Now put on your big boy pants. In an hour we’re going to be in the Seventh Circle of Hell.”

  “Super,” I said dryly.

  Nat laughed. “It won’t be that bad. Come on.”

  She had no freaking clue that the minute we chose to get on that plane, I was just one minute closer to losing it.

  ****

  Seventh Circle of Hell was a gross understatement. Nat and I had been back at the Beach House for a total of ten minutes when Ruben bombarded us with the “rules” for the week.

  “Both of you are behind. I hope you enjoyed your stay and rewards. Remember.” He looked around at each of us. Angelica looked like hell. Jaymeson had dark circles under his eyes, and Demetri and Alyssa were ignoring Ruben completely. “You want to be the fan favorite this week. Fan favorite gets a… special prize.”

  Prizes meant freedom, which also meant I had to participate. “I’ll do mine right now.” I reached into my bowl and pulled out a piece of paper.

  “Read it aloud,” Ruben ordered.

  Damn. “Have you ever lied to someone you love?”

  The room fell silent.

  I answered honestly. “Several times. Not that I’m proud of it by any means, but sometimes we lie because it’s easier then telling the truth. Sometimes by lying you protect those you love.”

  Silence. Again.

  Nat cleared her throat. “My turn.” She reached into the bowl. Slowly, she unfolded the piece of paper and read the question. “Have you ever regretted dating Alec instead of Demetri?” She shook her head. “What the hell kind of question is that?”

  “A good one,” Ruben said evenly. “Now answer it.”

  “No. And it’s a hell, no! No offense, Demetri.”

  “None taken.” He laughed.

  “I love Demetri like family. I love Alec like… well, definitely not family.” People chuckled around the room including the camera crew. “And I would never take that moment back, even though it was difficult on all of us. It was… meant to be.”

  “Well said.” I grabbed Nat’s hand and kissed it.

  “Lovely, just lovely.” Jaymeson sighed. “Now that we’ve all answered questions, either let us get drunk or leave. It’s late, which technically means the cameras have to go.”

  Ruben nodded slowly. “You’re right. How could I forget? It’s only Monday, and since we had to wait for Nat and Alec to get back, we won’t make you guys do anything else for the rest of the night. We actually scheduled a private party for you guys tonight. After all, we only have one week left of filming and you guys are all free to tour, make movies, and get married.” The last part he said to Nat. She beamed and looked up at me.

  “I feel like there’s a catch,” Demetri said eyeing Ruben up and down as if trying to figure out the puzzle he was presenting us.

  “Always is.” Ruben clapped his hands together. “One camera crew stays — but don’t worry, they’ll just be here in case something happens.”

  Ruben left with the other two camera crews. A catering crew arrived a few minutes later and began setting up food in the kitchen. Clearly Ruben hadn’t gotten the memo that Demetri didn’t like alcohol in the house, because there was enough champagne to kill a person. The hair on the back of my neck rose. Something wasn’t right. Ruben was too happy… I mean a private party? Four weeks ago he was ready to scratch the whole project because we were so boring.

  “I feel set up,” Nat whispered next to me as the kitchen crew began pouring champagne into flutes.

  “One week, Nat. We only have one week left.”

  I was trying to encourage her while I was literally having a hard time breathing. Ruben had something up his sleeve.

  My phone buzzed in my pocket, I quickly looked at the screen. MEET ME OUTSIDE. NEED TO TALK. —APRIL

  “Shit.”

  “What?” Nat grabbed my arm. “Is everything okay?”

  “Of course!” I gave her my widest smile and kissed her forehead. “I’ll just be right back I forgot something in the SUV.”

  “Okay.”

  Shaking, I put the phone back in my pocket and jogged outside. Sure enough April was standing on the other side of the boardwalk where the beach met the driveway.

  “Can you make it fast?” I snapped. “The last thing we need is for Ruben to see us together or some photographer.”

  “I don’t know what to do.” She sobbed into her hands. “He’s going to take everything. He’s going to spread vicious lies and… Alec, there isn’t a way out! There isn’t a way out. You have to do something! Please! I’m begging you, Alec!”

  Feeling like shit, I pulled her into my arms for a reassuring hug. But instead of melting against me, she beat on my chest. “I don’t want you, Alec Daniels! I never will! Stay the hell away from me! Stay the hell away from Demetri!”

  “What?” I sputtered, releasing her. “April, what the hell are you talking about?”

  “I already told you.” Tears streamed down her face. “I don’t want you. I never did. You were just a one-time fling.”

  “What the hell?” I looked around crazily. “April, we were never together we—”

  “Stop denying the truth, you bastard! I can’t believe you would do this to Demetri and me! I can’t believe you would ruin so many people! I loved my husband and you ruined it! You ruined our relationship!”

  Stunned, I could only watch as she wiped away a few more tears and then under her breath said, “I’m so damn sorry… but I had to do this.”

  The first camera flash went off when she left.

  And then another.

  Followed by five more.

  Paralyzed with fear, anger, basically every suicidal emotion in the book, I stood and watched the tide crash. With each wave, the sand crumbled more and more.

  That was my life.

  I couldn’t control what April did. In the end she turned on me.

  Paparazzi surrounded me, but I kept my eyes focused on the ocean, on the one constant thing.

  I felt every shred of dignity leave. Every ounce of pride, everything I’d ever worked for — gone in an instant.

  With a curse, I stumbled back toward the house. Camera flashes followed me, but not inside the house. I mean, why would they? We had an entire camera crew waiting for me in the living room.

&nbs
p; The minute the screen door slammed everyone looked at me blankly. I couldn’t hide the horror on my face. I felt every emotion all at once, as if the mask I had been trying to wear was finally shattered and all that was left was complete and utter fear.

  Nat’s eyes widened.

  I shook my head and ran up the stairs.

  She followed me and slammed the door behind her, locking the camera crew out.

  “What happened? Are you hurt?” She led me to the bed and sat next to me, pulling my hands into her lap. “Alec, talk to me.”

  “I…” Shaking with so much emotion, I just took her right there. I threw her against the bed and kissed her senseless. I bit down on her lip and pushed my body against hers.

  She moaned. And then her cell phone went off.

  Ten times.

  Finally I pulled back. She sighed and opened the phone. Eyes widening with horror, she pushed against me. “Get off.”

  “What? What’s wrong?”

  Tears welled in her eyes as she clicked through her phone and then glared accusingly at me. “What did you need to get from your SUV?”

  “Nat, I—”

  “Just tell me, Alec! Tell me!” She lunged for me and beat against my chest.

  “There was nothing in my SUV.” I gulped. “I lied.”

  “About everything,” she whispered and then threw the phone at my face. I ducked just in time. The phone landed on the bed. On the main screen was a picture of me embracing April.

  “Son of a bitch.” I ran after her, cursing the entire way down the stairs.

  Chapter Twenty-four

  Demetri

  “Demetri!” Nat was yelling my name. Why the hell was she yelling for me? Then Alec yelled something that sounded scarily like an un-holy amount of F-bombs as Nat flew down the stairs.

  Within seconds she was in my arms. “Um…” I hugged her shaking body and looked around in confusion. Seriously. Did someone die? Alyssa squinted next to me. I mouthed for her to help.

  She reached out and patted Nat’s back. “Hey, what’s going on? Are you okay?”