Hope's River

by McHeyzer , Margaret

  “Figured it out?” He starts laughing. “All I know is that I’ve loved you from the moment you knocked that thief on his ass. Figured it out? We haven’t figured out a God damned thing, Hope. Only that I love you, and I know you love me, even if you’re self-sabotaging and refusing to acknowledge it.”

  My arms break out into goosebumps as my mouth falls open in shock. He loves me? I can’t think about that right now, and nor will I be pressured into admitting to something I don’t feel. Correction, I don’t think I feel. Do I? I walk to the other side of the room, and lean against the wall, crossing my arms in front of me. “I’m not self-sabotaging; I never have. I’m happy!”

  “Really? That’s the only thing you heard, or the only thing you’re willing to hear?” He heads straight over and hovers over me. I flatten against the wall. He moves closer, his body only a hair’s breadth away from mine. River lowers his head, and leans his forehead on mine. “Our time is now, Hope.” He brings his hand up, and gently strokes my cheek, down my neck, and all the way to my hip. I can’t push him away. I don’t want him to stop.

  “River, I’m leaving soon, and I don’t want to start something I know has a expiration date. It’s not fair to you or to me.”

  “It doesn’t have to end. Ever. You don’t have to hold out for something more, because I’m here for you.”

  I can feel the tears wanting to break through. “And when it ends, then I’m done for, River. I won’t be able to recover this time.”

  “This is what I’m telling you.” He kisses my forehead. “I’m never going to let this end. Not now, not ever.”

  “How do you know something else won’t come between us?”

  He trails his nose down my cheek, and toward my throat. Jesus this feels good. “Have you stopped and asked yourself what you want?” With a feather light touch, he places small kisses against my heating skin. Pushing his body in, my leg automatically hooks around his hip. “Because all I’ve ever wanted was you.” He grabs my leg, and thrusts into me.

  I can’t think straight. I’m powerless against him. “River, we can’t.”

  “Why? Because you’re hell-bent on trying to convince yourself you’re happy without me, or because you know that with me we’ll be perfect?”

  “We’re not perfect.”

  He moves his head so his lips are nearly on mine. I want him to kiss me. I want to kiss him so badly. “Good, I don’t want us to be perfect. I want us to be perfect for each other.” He brushes his lips against mine, causing an eruption of emotions to cascade through me. My heart is pounding, my breath is audibly loud, and my body is ravenous for him.

  I stare into his eyes. “What are we doing?” I ask.

  “For you, I’ll do anything.”

  He lowers his mouth, taking my lips with his. Yes, I want this. I need this, I need this with him. I snake my hands around his back, then up into his hair. His lusciously thick hair is soft between my fingers. “River…”

  He moves his hands below my butt, and scoops me up, forcing me to wrap both my legs around his hips. He pushes into me, and although we’re both fully clothed, I can feel exactly what I’m doing to him. “I’ve missed you,” his voice is rough with lust and desire.

  Angling my body, I push into him, as I attack his mouth with a craving I’ve never felt before. My mouth is flooding with moisture, my body is so hungry for him, I can barely control the thoughts pulsating through me. “I’ve missed you, too.”

  My hands are all over his body, desperately trying to rip his shirt over his head. While balancing me against the wall with his hips, he lets me go for a second, as he tears his shirt off and lifts mine over my head.

  Our bodies mold together, his heat and my heat mingling. “I want this,” he says. “Tell me you want me too.”

  “I want you,” I say, as I pull him toward me so we can keep kissing.

  “Hold on,” he mumbles against my mouth. I wrap myself tight around him, and he walks us to his bedroom. Placing me to my feet, he drops to his knees, and covers my stomach in light little kisses.

  My body shudders, and my eyes roll to the back of my head. Oh my God. What are we doing? He unbuttons my jeans, and slides them down my legs. “Shit!” I yell.

  “What’s wrong?” He backs away, startled. “What? Are you okay? Did I hurt you? What did I do?” He appears panicked.

  “No, nothing like that.” I step away, which is quite difficult with my jeans around my ankles, so I bend and pull them up. River’s eyes widen, and he sits back on his heels. “I haven’t shaved my legs,” I say.

  “Um…” He tilts his head to the side. “Okay. And?”

  “My legs are hairy.”

  His shoulders slump forward, and he glances around his bedroom like he’s searching for answers. “Okay. And?”

  “I’m hairy!” I spell out.

  He blows his cheeks out, then releases the air. “And again, and?”

  “You don’t care?”

  He shakes his head slowly. “Nope.”

  Now we’ve broken apart for a split second, it gives me time to get my thoughts back together. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I lower my head, and massage my forehead and temples. “River, I’m sorry, I don’t think I can do this. I came here tonight to tell you we should just be friends. I got carried away, and I’m sorry.”

  He stands, leaves his bedroom and comes back in, this time with a shirt on and carrying mine. “I don’t accept that you don’t want it. But I’m going to be patient, and wait.”

  I take my shirt, and put it on. “We’re not going to happen.”

  “Yeah, we are. Here’s the thing; you’re not saying no because you don’t love me. You’re saying no because you think you have to protect your heart. And I’m here, waiting until you decide to get out of your own way. You’re your own worst enemy, Hope. But for now, that’s fine.” He lets out a frustrated, shaky breath. “Dinner’s ready.” He walks over, gives me a small kiss on the lips, and walks out of the room.

  I’m not my own worst enemy. I’m doing what I have to do to avoid another broken heart. That’s not fair. He’s wrong.

  Pacing in his room, I’m becoming increasingly agitated with him. No, I can’t let him get away with what he said. “Hey!” I nearly scream as I march out of the room into the kitchen. He’s ladling some of the chowder into white bowls. “Hey!” I say again.

  “Yes, love.”

  “I’m not my own worst enemy. And I’m not in my own way.”

  “If you say so. Do you want bread?” he asks casually.

  I’m fired up, and he’s so…relaxed. “No, I don’t want bread.” Shit, I think I do. “I mean yes,” I say, still flustered. I move around the kitchen like I have the jitters.

  “Bread it is. I bought this really beautiful bread from a lady who lives down the street. She makes her own. She’s a lovely person.”

  “I’m not my own worst enemy!”

  “Sarah.”

  “What? Who’s Sarah?”

  “The lady who bakes bread. So, so good. Here, come and have dinner.” He places both bowls on the dining table, then returns to the kitchen to get the bread. “Here, try this.” He cuts some off, and brings it up to my mouth. “Open.”

  I lower my gaze to the bread he’s offering, and step away from him. “I’m not my own worst enemy.”

  He shrugs. “Your loss. It’s beautiful.” He pops it into his mouth, and while chewing makes obscenely delicious noises. Sounds that are throwing me off from what I’m thinking. “Ummm, so good.”

  My mouth dries, and I swallow hard trying to create moisture. I can’t help but watch as River slowly chews. His eyes are closed, and he’s obviously enjoying every bite of the bread.

  My lady parts are quite excited, and desperately need attention. Suddenly, I’ve forgotten what I was so mad at, and am invested in watching River eat. Pulling at the collar of my shirt, I clear my throat. River opens his eyes, and smiles at me. He’s staring at me with dark eyes and his head is slightly lowered.
He’s just as hungry as I am, and not just for food.

  Crap. I’m in trouble. Big, big trouble.

  We stand, staring at each other for what feels like an hour. My entire body reacts to him. My skin flames with desire. I lunge for him, jumping in his arms, and knocking him back. He grabs onto me, and without asking, without thinking, we tear at each other’s clothes.

  And within nanoseconds, we’re naked. I push him over to the sofa, and make him sit. This is going to happen, and I’m not even going to get in my own way and stop it. Kneeling beside him, I swing a leg over so I’m straddling him.

  He grabs my hips, and tightens his grip. “You and I are meant to be together,” he says.

  I line myself up, ready to sink down on him. Looking into his eyes, I lean forward and kiss him, slightly moving down.

  Knock…knock.

  You have got to be kidding me! “What the fuck,” I groan, as I move off him.

  “They’ll go away, don’t worry about it.”

  Knock.

  Knock…knock.

  The knocking increases, like there’s an urgency to it.

  “You have to answer it,” I say as I scramble to find my clothes. Lady boner is now gone. Great—said no horny woman ever.

  “Get your ass over here,” he growls through gritted teeth.

  Jesus, I’m hot for him one moment, and then cold the next. What am I doing?

  I quickly get my clothes on while the knocking becomes more furious. “Hope!”

  What? Charlie? I look at River who’s decided to get his clothes on, and I open the door. “What the hell, man?”

  “We’ve gotta go.”

  “I should’ve put a damn towel on the door knob,” River mumbles.

  He looks at River, and crinkles his forehead. “Sorry, man,” Charlie calls to River. He grabs me by my upper arm, and starts ushering me out.

  “What’s the damn rush? And how did you find me?”

  “The house. There’s been a fire.”

  “What the fuck?” I turn to River, confused, and fretting. “I have to go.”

  “I’m coming with you,” River says.

  I slide my shoes on, and run down the front steps just behind Charlie. When we’re in Charlie’s truck, I see River’s right behind us, in his own truck. “What happened?” I ask as Charlie tears down the street.

  “May got a call from the fire department, they couldn’t get a hold of you, so they called her. She came and found me, and told me there’s a fire over at the house.” He’s driving like a lunatic trying to get to the other side of town. Although, it’s technically no more than ten minutes from River’s house.

  “How did you find me?”

  “May told Tabitha, and Tabitha told me.”

  There are so many questions in that statement, but they’ll have to wait. Charlie flies down the road toward Old Roger’s house, and we see one fire truck out the front with its lights illuminating the entire street.

  The neighbors are outside their houses, watching what’s happening.

  I’m completely confused. I don’t see a fire. Anywhere. I could’ve been getting my freak on with Mr. Sexy.

  Charlie pulls up alongside the fire truck and a firefighter walks over to us. “Hope, Charlie.”

  “What’s happening?” I ask. Looking around, I see the sheriff talking to two young boys, maybe fifteen or sixteen years old.

  “Those two came out here to set some fireworks alight,” the fireman says. I look at his name tag and it reads MORGAN. “They were lighting them at the back of the house, but one of them thought they might get caught, so they moved things inside the house. It hit some debris, and caused it to catch on fire. They panicked, and one of them called it in.” I can’t help but give him a ‘huh’ look.

  “Why didn’t they run?”

  “Who knows?” Morgan shrugs. “Jake’s having a talking with them now.”

  “Okay, thank you.”

  “There’s a bit of damage inside, but considering what you’re doing with the place, it’s minimal.” I got called away from a booty-call for minimal damage. Ugh.

  “Right. Thank you for all your hard work.”

  “We didn’t do much. But you’re welcome.” He walks away.

  Turning to Charlie, I shake my head. “I know,” Charlie says. “I would’ve run. I wouldn’t have called it in.”

  I’m still shaking my head. Surprised. Confused. But mostly thankful that these two stupid kids weren’t hurt, and there wasn’t more damage done to the place. Jake sees me, points a finger to the two boys, then walks over to us.

  The two boys refuse to make eye contact with me.

  “Hope, Charlie,” Jake greets. He looks over my shoulder and gives a curt small head nod. I feel an arm wrap around my waist, and I startle. Looking beside me, River stands and smiles at Jake. “River.”

  I step away from River. This isn’t the time or the place. “What happened?” I know Morgan gave us his story, but I want to hear it from Jake.

  “Did Dean fill you in?” Jake looks over to Morgan. Oh, right, his name is Dean. He looks like a Dean. A very sexy, Dean.

  “Yeah, he did,” Charlie says.

  “I’ve called the boys’ parents. They should be here soon. It’s up to you as to what you want to do.” He turns to me. “You’re the owner of the house.”

  “How old are they?” I ask.

  “Thomas is fourteen, and Matt is nearly sixteen,” Jake answers. “Matt has been in trouble with me before.” Jake really is a man of little words.

  “Matt’s parents went through a messy, and very public divorce,” River chimes in to add. “He’s a good kid.”

  “He might be a good kid, but he’s heading for big trouble if he keeps going on this path,” Jake says. “I know he’s been through a lot of crap, but this will only escalate unless someone shuts him down now.”

  River takes a breath and runs his hand through his hair. He’s quite affected by this, and it piques my interest as to why. That kid is not River’s problem, but he cares. And that makes me see him differently.

  “Matthew!” I hear a car door slam shut, then a woman shriek. Crap, she must be his mom. Turning, I see a woman in scrubs charging up to him. She walks straight up to him, grabs him by the top of the ear, and drags him over to us. Holy shit, I thought only old school parents did stuff like that. I don’t know how to react. A part of me wants to laugh, but I know she needs to be serious with her kid. I quickly glance at Jake, who’s not even looking in this direction. He’s turned his back, which means, he’s turning a blind eye. “I’m so sorry,” Matt’s mom says to me. “He’s been skipping school, and getting in trouble. I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t make excuses for him.”

  “Hope.” I hold my hand out to her, hoping to calm her justifiably angry behavior. If he’s doing this often, she may have had enough of it.

  “Stacey,” she says as she offers me her hand to shake. “You’re going to be the death of me, Matthew. The absolute death of me!” she snaps at him. She’s angry, but I can tell by the tears brimming in her eyes that she still loves him, even though she’s having a hard time with him. “Please, let me know the damage and I’ll find a way to pay it back.”

  The kid has yet to say anything.

  I look at her, then him. “What have you got to say for yourself?” I ask.

  He shrugs. “Answer her!” Stacey clips him on the back of head.

  “Sorry,” he says with no conviction.

  “Jake, I want him arrested,” I call loudly.

  “What?” he yells. “I said I was sorry.”

  “You said you were sorry because your mom forced you to say it. You don’t mean it, and you don’t give a shit that you could’ve burned my house down, and maybe hurt or even killed people.”

  “Who cares, it’s a heap of shit anyway,” he grumbles.

  His mom hits him across the back of the head again. I know she’s trying, and you can see she cares. “Jake, handcuffs,” I say.

  “Wha
t? I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” the kid begs. “Really, Hope. I’m so sorry, I promise not to do it again.” Tears well in his eyes, and his chin quivers as he holds in the sob.

  “Are you? Because I don’t think you care.”

  “I do, I promise I do.”

  “Prove it to me.”

  “How?” A tear leaks out of his eyes, and he wipes it away.

  “Until this house is finished, you’re going to come and work for me every weekend. You’ll be paid five dollars an hour, but for the first four weekends, you’ll work to repay the damage you’ve done.”

  “What?” he and his mother both say.

  “If I repeat myself, the offer is off the table.” This kid needs to know this is an opportunity to turn his life around.

  “No, no! I’ll do it!” he nearly yells.

  “And once the house is finished, you’ll come work for me,” River says. Turning, I give him a questioning glare. “Excuse us a moment.” River pulls me away.

  “What are you doing?” I ask.

  “This kid’s father up and left, creating a new family with a younger woman. He doesn’t want anything to do with the kid, and he doesn’t give a rat’s ass if they end up on the street or not. Stacey’s doing the best she can, but she works crazy shifts at the hospital.”

  “The hospital I went to for this?” I point to my nose. He nods. “That’s at least what twenty minutes from here?” He nods again. “And why are you doing this?”

  “I’m getting busier. I can take on an apprentice, and if it keeps him out of trouble, then at least I know he won’t end up a statistic, and it’s helping both him and Stacey out.”

  My heart flutters. “You’d do that?”

  “You’re doing it, why can’t I?”

  “My offer was short term though.”

  “And mine’s long term. I can keep an eye on him, and guide him. If he’s working, he’ll be too tired to do stupid things like this. He’ll change. He just needs some guidance.”

  “It’s not your job to guide him.”

  River laughs. “You still don’t get it, do you?” I lightly shake my head, while half-shrugging. “We all look out for everyone in Hope River.”