Fearless_The Alpha Bodyguard Series

by Sybil Bartel

  She ducked her head to rest against my chest. “That’s not funny.”

  “You’re gonna have to talk to him eventually.”

  “You’re defending him now?”

  I smirked. “Hell no.”

  She was silent a moment, but she still didn’t move out of my arms.

  I had to give her an out. “If you’re not okay with my past, or the nightmares, or anything else you’ve seen over the past twenty-four hours, I’m not gonna hold it against you. I’ll take you home and you can forget about all of it.”

  She didn’t hesitate. “I don’t want to forget about you.”

  Air filled my lungs, but I had to make sure. “A smart woman would walk.”

  “A smart man wouldn’t ask me to walk.”

  I laughed. “I fucking like you, Ludeviene Loic, you know that?”

  She looked up at me, but she didn’t laugh, she didn’t even smile. “I’ve never had a boyfriend.”

  Thrown, again, by the shit that came out of her mouth, I gave her the truth. “And I don’t do girlfriends.”

  “So what are we doing?” she asked with the sexy fucking combination of innocence and bravado that was all her.

  There was only one answer as far as I was concerned. “Making it work.”

  “It?”

  “Us,” I clarified.

  “Okay,” she said, soft and sweet.

  I gave her one last chance to back out. “You sure?”

  “Yes.” She nodded. “But I have a confession too.”

  Fucking great. I knew it’d been too easy. “Shoot.”

  She almost smiled. “Maybe a poor choice of words.”

  I gave her a wry smile. “What’s your confession?”

  Her gaze dropped as she inhaled, but then her shoulders straightened and she looked back at me. “I don’t want to go back to my old life or a career that seems so trivial now. I’m not ready to forgive my father, and I don’t want to spend my life feeling unsafe because of my last name. I want to do something that makes a difference in someone’s life… like you made a difference in mine, but I can’t do what you do.”

  Goddamn, this woman was sexy. I kissed her forehead. “Stay here, don’t go home. I’ll keep you safe. There’s no expiration date on forgiveness. You’ll talk to your old man when you’re ready. And you can find something else to do. There’re thousands of careers you’d kill it at.” I cupped her face. “And maybe you have it backwards. Maybe you made a difference in my life.”

  She frowned. “I’m not here, with you, just because you make me feel safe. I’m not…this isn’t…” Her hand waved between us. “This, us, it isn’t just because you saved me. I don’t have a hero complex for you…” She frowned harder. “At least, I don’t think a bad one.”

  I chuckled. “Maybe I wouldn’t give a damn if you did.” Despite the stupid shit I’d said to her at Roark’s, I fucking liked being her hero.

  Heat hit her cheeks, and she gave me her shy smile. “Okay, maybe I have a little one.”

  “Nothing wrong with that.” I kissed her once. “Come on, I need to feed you, and I’m fucking starving. You can flip the pancakes, and if you don’t burn them, we can see about changing your last name.” The comment was flippant and offhand, but as soon as I said it, I realized the hole I’d dug.

  “To?” she asked casually as she moved toward the stove.

  Fuck it. “Asher.”

  She froze. Then she looked up at me with surprise. “You want to get married?”

  I studied every inch of her pensive expression, looking for any telltale signs of panic, but saw none. “You don’t?” I challenged.

  “I do,” she answered without an ounce of guile.

  Already neck deep, I asked another question. “Kids?”

  Her expression still not giving anything away, she nodded. “Yes. And you?”

  “Absolutely.” Not that I’d ever given it much thought but with her? No fucking question.

  Her frown came back. “This is quite possibly the strangest conversation I’ve ever had.”

  I chuckled. “No fucking shit.”

  She smiled. “You swear a lot.”

  “And you’re the sexiest woman I’ve ever met.” Hands down.

  “Wait until you see me flip pancakes.” She winked.

  HE MADE ME FEEL SEXY, and special, and most importantly, normal.

  We cooked, we talked, we laughed, we ate, and then we cleaned up and we did it all together. No maids, no cook, no formal place settings or a dining table big enough for twenty.

  It was heaven.

  And it was so beautifully perfect.

  His house was sparse but clean and there were pictures of Nash everywhere. Of course there was gun locker the size of a trunk standing on end in his bedroom and a security system that seemed more complicated than Fort Knox. He was also beyond reserved if I asked about his time in the military or right after, but he was incredibly forthcoming about anything else.

  He didn’t try to paint himself in any kind of flattering light, in fact, he was the opposite of boastful. He was humble and he paid attention to everything I said with more attentiveness than any man I had ever met.

  I loved everything about him.

  Including the way he’d carefully and gently reapplied ointment on my arm and changed the bandage, then led me to bed by the hand.

  But now we were lying in his huge bed and he’d pulled my back to his chest. I could feel his hard length pressed up against me, but he wasn’t making a move to go any further, and I was feeling more than insecure about it.

  He kissed my shoulder. “Close your eyes, sweetheart.”

  It was pitch dark. “How do you know they’re open?”

  “I can feel it.”

  I smiled. “You’re right, they were open.”

  “And now?”

  I loved the rough sound of his voice when he was speaking quietly. “Still open.”

  “Want to tell me why?”

  I drew my fingers up the length of his muscular forearm. “Do I have to?”

  “You promised me, babe.”

  I nodded. “I did. I promised you my words.”

  “That means all of them.”

  “Why did you make me promise you that?” It’d seemed understandable at the time. He was trying to keep me talking. I wasn’t ignorant. I recognized I was upset by everything that had happened and my mind was trying to cope with it all when I’d stopped talking. But why he’d made me promise to always talk to him, I still didn’t fully understand.

  His chest rose with a deep inhale. “Two-fold. If you were talking, you weren’t holding shit in. And secondly.” He paused.

  “Secondly what?”

  He exhaled. “I selfishly wanted to own that from you.”

  I frowned. “And do you?” How did one own words of another?

  “No.”

  I opened my mouth to respond, but he wasn’t finished.

  “But I want to earn it. I want to be the man who gets your words. I want to be the person you always talk to.”

  I loved the sound of that, but it still didn’t answer my more pressing question. Biting my lip, I dared to ask. “Only talk?”

  His deep voice rumbled with a chuckle. “And fuck.”

  “Which we’re not doing right now,” I pointed out.

  “No, we’re not.” He kissed my temple. “As much as I want to pound in to that sweet cunt of yours and come for days, I’m giving you a night to rest and heal. But trust me, I’m thinking of every single way I want to take you and make you mine.”

  I smiled, wide, as desire coursed through my slightly sore core. “Okay.”

  He cupped my face with the hand he had around my waist and brought my lips almost to his. “We good?”

  “We’re very, very good.”

  “Great.” His lips met mine and his tongue swept through my mouth with his special brand of dominance as he kissed me. But too soon, as if he had to pull back before he couldn’t contain himself, he en
ded the kiss. “Get some sleep, sweetheart.” He tucked me back into the cocoon of his arms, but I had one more question.

  “You haven’t smoked.”

  “I quit.”

  Just like that? “When?”

  “Made a promise to myself as we were driving back up from Key West. After you wouldn’t talk to me on the phone, I told myself if I got your words again, I was done smoking. I did, so I am.”

  Wow. “Thank you.”

  “No problem.”

  Okay, I had another question. “What happens tomorrow?”

  His huge body shifted behind me and he brought his leg between mine. “I take the day off. We fuck, we eat, we sleep. Then we go pick up Nash and make him dinner.”

  That sounded kind of perfect. “Will Mercy be there?”

  “She’ll probably be sleeping until dinnertime, then get up for work, eat the food we make, bitch about night shift, then leave for work.”

  I didn’t blame her. Working nights didn’t seem like fun, and I didn’t think I would want to leave my young son all night. “Who stays with Nash?”

  “A sitter. Me sometimes, when I’m not working.”

  An idea formed. “Maybe I can help watch him sometimes.”

  “That’d be great.” Ty kissed my cheek. “Now get some sleep, woman. I’m tired as fuck.”

  I smiled. “Goodnight. And for the record, I like you, Tyce Asher, swear words and all.” I more than liked him. I was in love with him, head over heels in love, but I wasn’t sure he was ready to hear those words, so I kept them close to my heart, hoping he knew anyway.

  Careful of my wound, his arms tightened around me. “And for record back, I like you a whole damn lot, Ludeviene Loic, including your sexy name and even sexier ass.”

  I giggled.

  He sobered. “One more thing. I called your father tonight when you were in the shower. I let him know where you were, and that you were okay.”

  I stiffened. “What did he say?”

  Ty smirked. “Before or after he cussed me out?”

  “My father swore?”

  “Not directly, but he’s creative as fuck.”

  Oh God. “I’m sorry.”

  “I’m not. The old man needs to get used to me.” Ty nuzzled my neck. “He’s gonna see me every time his daughter comes around, because I don’t trust his security for shit.”

  I held his arm to me tighter. “Thank you, for everything.”

  “You’re welcome,” he replied gruffly. “Now go to sleep.”

  “Goodnight, Ty.”

  “Goodnight, sweetheart.”

  I closed my eyes and as a strong, stoic bodyguard held me, I fell asleep.

  WITH HER OWN BRAND OF silent strength, she sat next to me as I pulled away from the cemetery. I was a fucking mess of emotions, but she was right. I’d needed to do this. I’d needed to visit the brothers I’d lost that fateful day on my last deployment. And I had, we had, together. Every one. All five of them.

  Sergeant Sam Rollins was the last one.

  He’d saved my life, and I was grateful, so fucking grateful, but I’d never gotten the chance to tell him. Until today.

  And goddamn it, I missed him. He’d been my best friend, and I suspected he was Nash’s father because the timing fit, but Mercy had never admitted to it. She’d claimed she never knew who Nash’s father was, that it was a drunken one-night stand. But Rollins had come home with me one time on leave, and when I’d caught him eyeing her, I’d threatened to cut his balls off. He’d laughed, saying he couldn’t help it that women loved him. And they did, the fucker was smooth and always so fucking happy, like life was a damn gift. Jesus fuck, I missed him.

  A lump in my damn throat, I took Ludeviene’s hand and kissed her freezing cold knuckles. “Thanks.”

  She squeezed my hand in response, but she didn’t say anything. She didn’t have to. She’d come to Ohio with me and trudged through snow-covered winter ground and she’d placed flowers on Rollins’s grave, just like she’d done on all the others. Then she’d stepped back and let me have my space. Four states, five graves, more miles than I could count, this woman had stood by me. Hotels, hours on the road, shit meals, great fucking conversations, laughter, sorrow, pain and healing, but the best fucking part, her in my arms every night.

  I loved this woman.

  But I hadn’t told her.

  I was grappling with it. As every graveside visit concluded, and I unloaded more emotional baggage than I knew I was fucking carrying, a new fear had started to culminate. As I apologized to every one of my brothers for being the fuck who made it out when they didn’t, as I confessed every damn murder I tried to use to assuage my own guilt in their name, my trigger finger became calmer. But the weight of her presence on my heart had become heavier, and it scared the fuck out of me.

  I’d needed the injustice of my brothers’ deaths to justify my actions and calm my survivor’s guilt.

  But now I felt like I needed her.

  Like I was replacing one addiction for another, and she was too damn good for that. She deserved more. She deserved someone whole.

  And I needed to tell her that.

  “I’m not good enough for you,” I admitted.

  She glanced out at the snow-covered landscape. “Am I good enough for you?”

  I gave her the truth. “Too good.”

  “And how did you come to that conclusion?”

  The tone of her voice conversational, I could tell where she was going with this. “I’m not playing this game, sweetheart. You know exactly what I mean.”

  She turned in her seat to face me. “I’m not sure I do. If you mean that my family has more money than yours, or that I went to private schools and college and you enlisted at eighteen, then I can see where some people might have the impression that my socio-economic background is above yours, but I don’t think that’s what you mean.” She turned the heat up in the car. “You have skills I could never touch. You served your country. You take care of your sister and your nephew. You take care of me.” Her voice quieted. “And you spent years trying to right a wrong for your fallen brothers that no one else I know would have done. So, no, I don’t know exactly what you mean when you say you’re not good enough for a makeup artist who gave up all her clients and hasn’t forgiven her father yet. In fact, I think you may actually have your signals crossed, Mr. Asher.”

  I scrubbed a hand over my face. I should’ve been pissed, but I wasn’t. Like she usually did, she had me hiding a smile. “You’re crazy to be sitting next to me, you know that, right?”

  “I’m crazy to follow my heart?” she asked.

  I looked at her.

  Innocent as fuck, her cheeks red from the cold, a pink knit hat pulled over her gorgeous thick hair, she was so fucking beautiful.

  I stopped the truck.

  “Ty!” She half smiled, half looked worried as she glanced behind us. “We’re in the middle of the road.”

  I didn’t care. No one was out here.

  But she was. And that was the fucking forest through the trees that I was missing.

  She was here.

  Not someone else.

  She was here because she wanted to be here. With me.

  I took her face in my hands. “I am so fucking in love with you, Ludeviene Loic.”

  Her eyes instantly welled. “Ty,” she whispered.

  “Just listen.” I was done being afraid. “I know we don’t have time under our belts, but I don’t need it. I love you and I want it all with you. Marriage, kids, all of it, any of it, as long as you’re by my side.”

  Tears slid down her face.

  I swiped at them with my thumb, but I wasn’t finished. “I’m not fucking perfect, but I want to be your perfect.”

  “I love you, Ty Asher.” Her voice broke. “I love you so much.”

  Unhooking her seat belt, I pulled her onto my lap and slammed my mouth over hers. Then I kissed the fuck out of her. Frantic, desperate for her, I stroked through the sweet heat of h
er mouth and claimed what I’d already taken.

  She was mine.

  She had been since the first damn time I’d sunk inside her.

  But kissing her right now wasn’t enough. I needed inside her. Pulling her hat and scarf off, I unzipped her coat. “I’m taking you right fucking here,” I warned.

  Her hands everywhere, her lush hips already grinding on me, she moaned and reached for one of her boots. Yanking it off, she went for the button on her jeans.

  Fuck yeah. “One leg off, that’s all I need, baby.” I unzipped her jeans, then mine, and fisted my cock.

  Going to her knees, she sank her hands into her waistband, pushed her jeans and underwear down over her ass, then she kicked out of one pant leg. Her sweet cunt exposed, she went back to her knees and her hands found my shoulders, but then she paused. Looking down at me, her face flushed with desire, her hair everywhere, she smiled. She fucking smiled. Then she wrecked me.

  “I want it all too, Mr. Asher.”

  Growling, grabbing the back of her neck, I brought her mouth to mine and my cock to her cunt. “Show me,” I demanded.

  She sank down on me.

  “Fuuuck.” Tight, hot, wet, fucking perfect—my head fell back. “Goddamn.” Inhaling, I tried not to come on the spot.

  Her mouth, open and wet, landed on my throat and she swirled her tongue the same way I’d taught her to swirl around the head of my cock.

  “You fucking do that again and I’m gonna come before you,” I warned, grabbing her hips and thrusting once, hard and deep.

  She let out a sexy little cry, and my name crossed her lips in a breathless tone I’d come to crave. “Ty.”

  “Jesus Christ, baby.” I drove into her again and ground my hips to hit her G spot. “You’re fucking heaven.”

  Gripping my hair, she let out a long moan and soaked my cock. “Oh my God, I love you.”

  I fucking smiled. Then I grasped her face and winked. “You better, because I’m coming inside you.” She knew what that meant.

  No birth control, no condom, no barriers between us, her small as fuck hands tightened their grip. “Are you ready to be a father?”

  “Are you ready to marry me?” I countered.

  She didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”

  Neither did I. “I’m more than ready.” My mouth covered hers and I brought it home.