The Healer

by Dee Henderson

  “‘If any one serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there shall my servant be also; if any one serves me, the Father will honor him. In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And when I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. For this perishable nature must put on the imperishable, and this mortal nature must put on immortality.’”

  Rachel reached for Cole’s hand as the final words were spoken. She wiped her eyes as “Amazing Grace” began to play. Jennifer had chosen the words as much for her husband as for them. Just listening to Tom’s solemn voice as he laid his wife to rest was enough to bring the grief she had long borne back to the surface. Cole’s free hand slid behind her neck and turned her face into his shoulder. How she would have survived today without him…she couldn’t imagine it. She took a deep breath and turned back to listen to the service.

  Jennifer was being buried next to her parents. Marcus and Stephen lifted the bouquet of roses from atop the casket and moved it to the family headstone. Jennifer had requested carnations, roses, and a simple, very private service. She had chosen the verses, the songs, keeping it short. It was a beautiful service.

  Tom stepped to the casket to make his private good-byes.

  Her family didn’t want to stay to see the coffin lowered into the hole in the ground. But no one wanted to say the service was over either.

  Stephen was the first to walk forward, touch the casket, and then walk away, back toward the chapel where the service had been held. Rachel watched him go. Stephen had already lost his younger birth sister, and now he was burying the youngest O’Malley. Even Nathan last night strangling him in a sticky hug good night had not been able to get more than a brief smile from him. Her brother was suffering the deepest of them all, for the words of hope they heard in the Scriptures he wasn’t able to share.

  Marcus and Shari joined Tom as he moved to place flowers in front of the inscription already added to the headstone. Wife, friend, and beloved sister. For Tom’s sake Rachel was grateful that this long weekend journey of farewell was now concluded. Tom had accepted as much sadness and grief as he could absorb.

  Lisa lifted one of the white carnations from the basket to have as a keepsake. She broke the silence among their group. “I don’t know about the rest of you, but cemeteries give me the creeps.”

  Rachel blinked and then smiled, for Lisa was right. They had all lost and buried family and when it was personal, a cemetery was a depressing place. Too many memories were pulled back to the present.

  “I thought I was the only one feeling it,” Kate said. She glanced at her husband. “Shall we gather at our place for dinner?”

  Dave nodded. “It would be best. Tom needs a place to relax.”

  “Why don’t you all go, catch up with Stephen. Cole and I will be there in a minute.”

  “You’ll give Ann a call?” Kate asked.

  Rachel nodded. Stephen was the one who suggested it was best if they didn’t come to the funeral today, for Adam didn’t need to experience a second one in such a brief period of time.

  Lisa and Quinn, Kate and Dave, walked back toward the chapel’s parking lot.

  Rachel released Cole’s hand and walked to the side of the casket, struggling to find the final words to let Jen go. Everything she could have said had already been said while Jennifer was alive. She rested her hand against the coffin, enormously comforted that God had already given her the opportunity to say the words. Jen, I miss you already. The O’Malleys will get through this. And we’ll take good care of Tom for you, I promise you that. You led us to a hope that will endure even in this grief. She wiped away a tear. I love you.

  Cole rested his hands on her shoulders as she began to cry. She leaned back against him and lifted her face to the sky. He’d absorbed enough of her tears in the last month; she wasn’t going to break down again, not here.

  “Good-byes are hard.”

  Rachel rested her hand over his. He’d buried firefighters, friends killed on the job, in accidents, and even a friend who had turned to the dark side of arson. He didn’t need to say words to empathize; he just had to be with her. “I’ve said them all. Let’s catch up with the others,” Rachel said, looking after where Stephen had gone.

  The empty chair was haunting him. Stephen shifted his chair so the chair where Jennifer should be sitting was no longer in his line of sight. If she were here right now, she’d be kicking him under the table, trying to get him to smile. She’d taken being his little sister as a serious role. Nathan sitting on his lap bounced and pointed. “M&M?” he asked, hopefully.

  Stephen tugged over the dish. He’d made the wooden candy dish for Kate as a wedding gift and the candleholders. “Which color this time?”

  “Blue.”

  “I should have guessed that.” Stephen had to dig to find one. Nathan loved the blues.

  Stephen could see why Rachel loved working with kids. They were good for making sure even miserable days at least stayed on an even keel.

  The family was lingering over coffee: Marcus and Shari, Kate and Dave, Lisa and Quinn, Jack and Cassie, Rachel and Cole. He could hear Tom and Ann laughing in the kitchen. They were fixing homemade milk shakes that Tom swore turned little boys into angels. They had asked Adam to help with the cherries and vanilla and flavorings. Stephen was grateful they had come. Adam was sensitive to the sadness of another funeral, but Tom and Ann were doing a good job distracting him.

  Stephen wasn’t sure how Tom had handled this last weekend with the equilibrium he had. Jennifer, you married a good man. Tom planned to return to Houston next week and the pediatrics practice he and Jennifer had shared. He’d married Jennifer knowing this day might come, and Tom had still let himself love her completely until the very end. He’d never drawn back to separate himself from the pain of this day. How Tom had found the focus to be able to read the Scripture passages and say the final amen… Stephen knew he couldn’t have done it. Tom’s last act of love for his wife had been to help her take care of them.

  Stephen watched his family, and he struggled to make a decision.

  Stay, or go.

  He’d been wrestling with the decision all night. The arrangements were made; they just awaited his action. And as he hugged Nathan it became simple. He couldn’t handle seeing someone else die, not another man-made tragedy like the shooting, not an accident, not even another death from illness. He’d promised Jennifer, and he was going to keep his word. There was no better time than now.

  Stephen hugged Nathan again and moved his chair back. “Go to Rachel, buddy. She’s got the cookies.”

  His sister turned in her chair and accepted Nathan onto her lap. The boy mashed her in a hug and peals of laughter ensued as she tickled him. Stephen caught Cole’s gaze and shared a smile with him. Rachel had found a good man too. All his sisters had.

  Stephen rose and stepped into the kitchen to say good-bye to Ann.

  “Does this taste okay?” Adam asked, offering a long spoon and a chance to sample the just completed milk shake.

  Stephen tried it. “Great.”

  “Not too much vanilla?”

  He took a second spoonful to taste and shook his head. “Perfect.”

  Tom helped the boy pour the milk shakes. Adam had a long line of glasses waiting and a cup with a lid for his brother Nathan.

  Ann put away the ice cream and stepped over to join him. “You’re heading out?” she asked softly. They’d driven over separately.

  “Yes.”

  Ann hugged him, not asking how he was doing, not pushing. Stephen relaxed into the hug, appreciating her comfort. She’d been there for him this month. That friendship had helped more than he could explain. “When you get home, check the back patio,” he said softly. He’d made a set of bar stools for her kitchen counter.

  “You finished them?”

  He smiled. “The paint finally dried. The pattern ch
oice was Jennifer’s.” The rose and ivy pattern had taken days to paint. He stepped back, absorbing the memory of her face, then simply nodded his good-bye.

  In the dining room, Stephen paused at the head of the table by his eldest brother. “Marcus, I’m heading out.”

  “You want to join us for a basketball game later? Jack wants to run off dinner.”

  “I’ll take a pass. I promised the guys at work I’d swing by and sign off some paperwork.”

  Marcus’s gaze held his and Stephen wondered what the odds were Marcus knew he was lying. Probably pretty good. Marcus slowly nodded. “You need me, call.”

  “Will do.” The last thing he wanted to do was give this man something else to worry about. His brother had carried the weight of arrangements for the last few days and made it possible for all of them to get through today.

  With rapt attention Nathan was listening to one of Rachel’s made-up stories. Stephen pointed to Jack and got a thumbs-up back. He wasn’t saying good-bye. Everyone he said good-bye to died. His parents, his little sister, now Jennifer. As close as this group was, as powerful as it was to be an O’Malley, he still walked out of here knowing he was alone.

  He walked out the front door, not letting himself slow or glance back. The clouds had rolled back in and a spitting rain was in the air. There would inevitably be car accidents tonight as the weather changed and people didn’t slow down enough to make adequate allowances for the changing road conditions. He couldn’t handle the idea of going back to work, not now, not anytime he could see in the next weeks. He tugged on the baseball cap, which was his concession to the weather.

  “Stephen.”

  He turned as Kate called his name. She came running down the stairs to catch up with him. “You’re leaving early.”

  “Some.” He shifted his car keys in his hand. He didn’t want her prying into his plans for the night, so he smiled at her and reached out to catch her hand and hold up the ring he was still getting used to seeing on her hand. “You never mentioned: What do you think of being married?”

  “Marriage suits me just fine,” she replied, smiling. She looked at the keys in his hand. “Are you sure you won’t join us later at the gym? We’ll be there quite a while.”

  “I’m sure.”

  “Where are you going?”

  “For a drive,” he said, telling her the truth.

  He was nearly toppled by her hug. “Hey.”

  “Don’t go.”

  She hadn’t cried at the funeral and now Kate was threatening to bawl on him. He tried to pat her back and ease her away at the same time. “It’s not forever, I promise,” he said, desperate to stop the emotions and get this back to the teasing, which was about the only thing he could take tonight.

  “You’ll need a navigator.”

  He had to laugh. He’d never been able to keep a secret from her. He took off his hat and dropped it on her head, tugging the bill straight. “You’re a lousy navigator.”

  “When will you be back?” she asked. “You haven’t quit a job in my lifetime. Your boss called this morning,” she explained. “He was worried.”

  “It’s just a leave of absence.” There wasn’t a good explanation for his actions, and given the turmoil of the last month, he didn’t feel a need to figure out a good one. “I made a promise to Jennifer; it’s time I keep it. I want to drive awhile, see some of the country, think. I’ll be gone until I get the answers I’m looking for.”

  “You’ll call more than just occasionally?”

  “You know I will,” he reassured. “I’ll have to call just to make sure you’re not getting yourself in trouble, something that happens with regularity.”

  “Ann’s going to miss you, the boys too.”

  “Rachel and Cole will be there for them.” He glanced up at the deteriorating weather. Kate was trying to stall him and talk him out of this. He’d been on the other end of her negotiating skills too many times to miss the subtle signals. “I’ve got to go.”

  “Don’t drive too far tonight.”

  “You’ve been a rock for this family since it first formed. Keep them together and strong.”

  “We’ll be waiting for you to come back.” She framed his face with her hands. “And if you’re gone too long, we’ll come find you.”

  He loved her for having become his family.

  She hugged him. “Find your answers, Stephen.”

  He hugged her back. “Later, Kate,” he whispered.

  He walked to his car. His bags were in the trunk. On the seat beside him were a map and a very old note from Jennifer. “Stephen, this spot has to be seen to be appreciated. Remember the church in the southwest with the spiral staircase, built without a single nail? I met a man who built a modern day one like it. You’ll need your sketch book.” The note was over ten years old, and he could still hear Jennifer’s joy even in her written words.

  Jennifer had given him a place to begin his wandering. The O’Malleys would be fine. They had found others to share their lives with. He was the last with a restlessness inside that would not settle. He’d spent his life, first as a fireman and then as a paramedic, pouring his efforts into rescuing people. I’m the one who needs rescuing now. He wanted a job as far away from life-and-death decisions as he could get. He’d never figured out what it was he was after. It was time to find out.

  He drove north.

  Dear Reader,

  Thank you for reading this story. Rachel O’Malley has been my partner throughout the O’Malley series, helping me understand her family that she loves and knows so well. Cole is the man I instinctively knew had the depth and patience for Rachel and the burdens she carries for others. They were a wonderful couple to get to know through the two books The Protector and The Healer. It was a pleasure to write their love story.

  Disasters happen all around us each year, and the first responders that arrive to help—firemen, police, paramedics, and Red Cross volunteers—make the critical difference in how people recover. I’m pleased to know there are many like Rachel setting aside creature comforts and sleep to be there for others in need.

  This was also by far the hardest O’Malley book to write. Jennifer is the special O’Malley, the youngest, and her death hit not only this family, but also the author, hard. I believe God heals. I’ve seen many examples during my lifetime. For those fighting cancer today I offer the hope of James chapter 5—prayer has great power. I know the story with Jennifer getting well would have been very powerful. But I chose instead to let her die, for death is the one thing everyone fears: dying alone, afraid, before we are ready, leaving things undone. I wanted to let Jennifer show us how to handle those last days, to be an example of living life so you do not have regrets at the end. I know firsthand that Jesus is able to carry us through floodwaters and tragedies, unbearable pain and overpowering grief. He’s trustworthy with the deepest hurts of our lives. It’s a bittersweet parting as she enters heaven for a joyful eternity and the other O’Malleys now must adapt to the loss.

  I hope you’ll join me for Stephen’s story in The Rescuer. He already lost a birth sister to death, now Jennifer is gone, and he’s feeling bereft inside. The O’Malleys have stuck together for years, but Stephen is running now… from the pain, from the grief, from himself. The other O’Malleys are going to have to find him, for he isn’t sure he ever wants to come back. He’s looking for anonymity and space. Only he’s about to run into Meghan.

  As always, I love to hear from my readers. Feel free to write me at:

  Dee Henderson

  c/o Tyndale House Publishers

  351 Executive Drive

  Carol Stream, IL 60188

  e-mail: dee@deehenderson.com

  or on-line: http://www.deehenderson.com

  First chapters of all my books are on-line. I invite you to stop by and check them out. Thanks again for letting me share Rachel and Cole’s story.

  God Bless,

  The publisher and author would love to hear your comments about this
book. Please contact us at: www.deefiction.com