Sex, Lies, and Cruising

by Cathryn Chapman

  She wiped her mouth and continued her story at a hundred miles an hour. “And he was so hot, Ellie, I can’t even tell you. And, well…” She blushed for the first time. “I jumped his bones. It was just one of those things that happened on the spur of the moment… We were kissing, and then I was on top of him… And oh, shit, Ellie, we did it right there on the beach! I’m not gonna lie, dude. It was awesome!”

  Caitlin clearly got lost in memory for a moment, before suddenly remembering she’d been in the middle of recounting her naughty adventure. “Aaaaanyway…when Ruby and her dude came back, she couldn’t look me in the eye…” Caitlin’s enthusiasm had returned with a vengeance. “Once the boys dropped us back at the ship, I turned to her and said, ‘Dude, I have to tell you something… I had sex with him.’ And she said, ‘Oh, my God, so did I!’ Which made me feel so much better, ’cuz I’m not the only one who’s bad!”

  She had certainly confirmed the meaning of the double eyebrow raise. I would once have been shocked, but given my recent escapades with Seth, it seemed I’d become more blasé about these things. I’d hardly been an angel in my past, but I’d been brought up Anglican, and, well… Even love scenes in films shocked me, though usually I couldn’t tear my eyes away from them—the only exception being when one popped up unexpectedly when I was watching a movie with my parents and I had to pretend to be horrified.

  Apparently, my curiosity wasn’t limited to the movies. My interest had been piqued by Caitlin’s story, and I couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to have sex out in the open like that—just the idea sent tingles up and down my body. Maybe I could add that to my Caribbean to-do list…

  I sighed internally; thinking about sex unsurprisingly had led me to thinking about Seth. As humiliating as the whole thing had been, I didn’t want to part on bad terms. I figured that even if he was kind of avoiding me, I could probably snag him for a quick chat before he jumped ship.

  Caitlin prodded my knee, bringing my attention abruptly back to the present. “Ellie, are you still with me?”

  “Sorry!” I said. “I was just daydreaming.” I took a deep breath. “Caity, do you think Seth would have kept sleeping with me if he wasn’t leaving? I feel most embarrassed he might have been faking his interest in me, and everyone is going to laugh at me behind my back for being so naïve.”

  “I don’t know about Seth,” she said, studying my face. Then she reached out and touched my arm. “Even if people aren’t the nicest, the truth is that we’ve all done it, babe. We all do stupid things. Hell, I still do it all the time. It’s just the way of ships. Just try to forget about it and have a good time.”

  She bounded to her feet and headed to the bathroom, taking off her bikini as she went. “Babe, I have to get in the shower. I’ve got sand in all sorts of awful places.” She snickered. “Channing had a…what do you call it? When their dick gets covered in sand?”

  “A crumbed sausage?” I offered helpfully.

  “Exactly! A crumbed sausage,” she repeated, giggling. She ripped across the plastic curtain and turned the shower on full. Then she poked her head out the door and said, “Shit, the guys said they’d Facebook us—but they didn’t even ask for our last names! Hmmmph.” She screwed up her face as she popped back into the bathroom and jumped in the shower. “Bastards!” she called out, gurgling through a mouthful of water.

  The rest of the night was much less interesting. Later in the crew bar, I noticed Caitlin wasn’t the only one who was breaking the non-drunk-on board rule. I couldn’t imagine constantly going to work in the morning with the inevitable hangover, and the idea of trying to keep the cruise line from finding out just how much alcohol I was drinking made me far from inclined to over-imbibe. Caitlin had lectured me when I’d first come on board about the cruise line’s firm stance on passenger safety, and it seemed like a day didn’t go by without something or someone reminding me of it…but it seemed like most of the crew weren’t as fussed about getting into trouble as I was.

  Being the most sober person in a group full of people who are completely trolleyed gets quite tiring quite quickly. As I’d no intention of keeping up with the rabble-rousers, I wandered over to order a drink from Jock.

  “Ah, Ellie, lass, you look lovely tonight,” he said with a warm smile.

  “Hah,” I said.

  “So do you miss it yet?” he asked.

  “Miss what?”

  “England,” he said.

  “I miss my parents,” I admitted. “But not the rain. Or the cold.”

  “More of a warm weather person?”

  “Guess you could say that,” I said. I rested my elbows on the counter and propped my chin on my hand. “When I was fifteen, we went on holiday to Spain. My dad complained the whole time that it was too hot. I couldn’t get enough of it. I cried when it was time to go home.” I laughed a little and added, “Of course, the cold weather is better for covering up.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “Can’t imagine why you’d be wanting to cover yourself up, lass.”

  I rolled my eyes and moved on. “So are you running from the weather, too? Scotland’s even worse than England, isn’t it?”

  “Oi,” he said, “mind your tongue!” A crooked smile on his face, he continued, “I miss it. I’m much happier with the rain and the fog and the snow than with sun and sand.”

  “What the hell are you doing on a cruise ship, then?”

  Before he had a chance to reply, a very loud group appeared at the other end of the bar and demanded his attention. He flashed me a quick smile and left me to serve them. I was a bit disappointed, as he was so easy to talk to and quite frankly I could have sat and chatted with him all night. He had a way of making me feel special. Given he was a bartender, I suspected that was a skill that he employed regularly, but it was nice all the same.

  As I surveyed the scene, I marvelled at the transformation of the friendly, professional crew and staff into loud, crazy, debauched party-goers. If only the passengers could see them now, without their crisp uniforms and professional demeanours. If there was one thing I’d learned on the ship so far, it was how truly amazing the customer service was. The cruise line took their reputation very seriously; a lot of time and effort went into training and encouraging the staff to be perfect hosts.

  An elbow whammed into my back, nearly knocking me over. I spun around, annoyed, to find an overweight guy with a neat schoolboy haircut standing there, red-faced and apologetic. “Sorry, miss,” he said awkwardly.

  His accent was really thick, but I’d no idea where he might be from. Maybe somewhere in Eastern Europe?

  He shuffled his feet and stared at the ground as he said, “I did not mean to hit to you there. I am rocking with the waves tonight.” He laughed nervously.

  His downcast eyes and forlorn stance made me feel immediately sorry for him. Okay, maybe I was a bit of a pushover; I had a throbbing pain pulsating around my spine, and I was standing there feeling sorry for the guy who’d caused it.

  Pasting a smile on my face, I reached out and touched his arm in a friendly gesture. “Don’t worry about it. It was just an accident. I do things like that all the time.” Feeling the need to smooth things over a bit more, I added, “My name’s Ellie,” and held out my hand.

  He shook it gently, my small hand engulfed in his massive paws. “I’m George,” he said, leaning really close. It was so loud in the crew bar that he was practically yelling in my ear. “I work in the casino.”

  I leaned in and shouted, “What? Sorry, I can’t really hear you.” For lack of anything better to say, I added, “Catch you another time?”

  He smiled and nodded, then walked away to join some friends. As I turned back to the bar to buy another drink, I chided myself for being a grumpy cow—he seemed like a nice guy. Oh well. There were so many members of the crew and turnover was so high that trying to get to know every single person was bloody well impossible.

  Jock poured my drink but there was such a crush at the bar that the
re was no chance to pick up our conversation. Left momentarily at loose ends, I scanned the crowd for Caitlin. I found her dancing with a good-looking blond guy to the pulsating beat of ‘I Just Can’t Get Enough’. Caitlin was burning up the dance floor with some 80s moves, including a very impressive robot. I started to wend my way towards her, and got to her just as she stepped off the dance floor for a break. When she spotted me, she flung her arms around me in an enthusiastic hug, almost knocking me over.

  “Hey, roomie!” she shouted in my ear. “I’ve had about enough of the crew bar—want to go back to the cabin? I’ll invite some of these guys for a party!”

  I nodded enthusiastically. I wasn’t in the mood for disco. The idea of sitting around in the cabin, getting to know some other people, sounded much more appealing.

  When we got back to our hall, I spotted Seth coming around the corner from the opposite direction and froze. My brain seemed to come to a complete stop before sputtering back into life. This could be my chance! I could invite him to our cabin, and we could have the chat I had already practised in my head. And it would be perfect, because it couldn’t get too emotional with everyone else around, so I’d be able to say what I wanted to say and have done with it. I hated how things had turned out, and even though I was feeling let down, he seemed like a decent guy. I just really wanted to smooth things over before he left. Anyway, if I stuck with the whole cruise ship gig, it was entirely possible I’d run into him again down the road; Caitlin had told me stories of people who’d never expected to see each other again unexpectedly turning up on the same ship. So who knew? It was certainly worth a conversation.

  Seth caught my eye and a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. Before I could respond in kind, a tall, lithe redhead came around the corner. She was laughing and stumbling, her hand gripping Seth’s arm for balance.

  Caitlin saw them at the same time I did. She was silent, though worry flickered across her face, and her body stilled. Her hand squeezed mine, and I was grateful for the tacit support.

  The redhead spotted Caitlin moments after we’d seen them and gave a little shriek. “Hey, girl!” She pitched herself down the hall and threw herself into Caitlin’s arms.

  Caitlin gave her a quick, stiff embrace, which was really out of character for someone who usually put her heart and soul into hugging people. “Hey, Ruby,” she said, her voice oddly flat. “This is my cabin mate, Ellie.”

  Ruby. The name echoed through my head, and I finally realised that she was the other girl from Caitlin’s story. The one who’d buggered off for a beach shag with the dark-haired bloke while Caitlin went off with her Channing lookalike.

  “Oh,” I said, and my eyes flickered from her to Seth and back.

  “Ellie, this is Ruby,” Caitlin said to me. “I told you about her. She came with me to lunch today.”

  There was an odd tension in the hall, and it was only made worse by the fact that Seth refused to meet my eyes or even look at me. Since Ruby was Caitlin’s friend, I’d have thought she’d be friendlier, but then I realised what the problem was.

  Me.

  Caitlin was clearly unhappy with Ruby for being with Seth, given he’d so recently been with me. Ruby was clearly uncomfortable that I’d seen her with Seth, though I wasn’t sure if that was because she saw me as a threat—which was laughable—or because she wished I’d not had to see them together. And Seth was clearly not thrilled to have run into me, full stop.

  “Ruby, come on,” Seth barked, urging her into the cabin. His eyes were on the floor, on Ruby, Caitlin…anywhere but looking at me.

  Caitlin squeezed my arm as Ruby followed Seth into his cabin. As she stepped over the threshold, she turned around and gave us a double eyebrow raise that was clearly meant for Caitlin, not me. The door closed behind them.

  Chapter Five

  “So, Ellie,” Jacoline said, grinning, “I heard you slept with George from the casino last night.”

  I nearly choked on my scrambled eggs. Jacoline was eagerly awaiting my reply, and though I knew she wasn’t being malicious, I couldn’t help but feel cross at her for lobbing gossip at me without any warning.

  “You certainly don’t waste time,” Justin muttered, his eyes on his plate.

  Great. This was just…great. I hastily swallowed the bits of egg I hadn’t choked on and spluttered, “Excuse me, what? George?” It took me a minute to even remember who the hell he was. “Oh, for fuck’s sake,” I said, “do you mean that guy I met in the crew bar last night? I talked to him for maybe two minutes!” I didn’t have to fake my incredulous tone.

  Jacoline laughed. “Oh, Ellie, it’s fantastic you’re not wasting time. Why wait when there are so many options available?”

  I opened my mouth to reply, but was cut off by Justin.

  “Best be careful,” he said snidely. “You wouldn’t want everyone to think you’re a slag.”

  This was ridiculous. I hadn’t even recovered from seeing Seth and Ruby together, and now I’d slept with someone new? Didn’t these people have any more salacious—and true!—gossip to talk about?

  Next to me, Caitlin shook her head and rolled her eyes. “Guys, don’t be ridiculous. Ellie just said hello to the guy. Are we seriously doing this shit again?”

  “Bom dia, meus amigos!” Maria was almost singing as she walked in. She made a beeline to me and said, “Hello, Ellie! I am so glad you are not sad about Seth leaving.” A Cheshire cat grin spread across her face. “I did not think George was your type, but when I saw you together in the crew bar, you seemed very cosy together.”

  I knew we had our culprit.

  I took a deep breath. “Maria, I didn’t sleep with George. I talked to him for two minutes, and that’s all.”

  She patted my shoulder, an insincere sympathetic smile on her face. “It is okay, chica, you are a grown up woman. You can be with anybody you choose.”

  I wasn’t normally a violent person, but I wanted to slap the smile right off her face.

  My cheeks burning from the implication that I was, as Justin had said, a slag, and my hands were actually shaking. I hadn’t slept with him and Maria knew it. It had nothing to do with George—I was sure he was lovely. It was about my reputation, which, if I was honest, had already been hanging tenuously by a thread before everyone thought I’d hopped into bed with George. If I’d any chance of retaining any kind of reputation whatsoever, I couldn’t let them believe this rubbish.

  Trying to keep my voice even, I said, deliberately calmly, “I didn’t sleep with George. He literally bumped into me and tried to apologise. End of story.”

  Jacoline’s gaze flicked between me and Maria; the smile had faded from her face and she seemed uncertain who to believe. The scowl on Justin’s face, on the other hand, had only deepened. Caitlin rubbed my arm soothingly and mumbled something about not worrying what people say.

  At that moment, because my life really needed to get more complicated, Ruby appeared in the doorway, spotted us, and practically waltzed over. She had what was almost certainly a post-coital glow, and I was tempted to chuck the salt shaker at her pretty face.

  “What’s going on, guys?” she inquired.

  “Ellie slept with George from the casino last night,” Maria announced, wasting no time in jumping in to spread the rumour.

  Caitlin rushed to defend me. “’Maria, shut up. Ruby, it’s not like that at all. Maria saw them talking in the crew bar, and well, you know how ships are…and Maria” she cast a burning glance at the Brazilian rumourmonger, “should know better.”

  I shot her a grateful look.

  Ruby shrugged. “No big deal,” she said. “We’re all here to have fun, right?”

  I didn’t really want to think about the kind of fun she’d been having…

  Nodding, Jacoline added, “It’s okay, Ellie. We all know what ships are like!”

  Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck! I wished they would actually listen to me.

  Maria obviously wasn’t finished and kicked the boot in a little harde
r. “You know, Ellie, I was a little bit sad when you and Seth were together while he and I were trying to work things out—” Ruby’s head came up but she wisely said nothing “—but now I can see you do not like to spend the night alone. I am sure you left him no choice. Men are simple, yes?” She sat back and folded her arms, smiling at everyone. “If you offer them a warm body, they do not say no. Not on a ship, anyway.” Laughing, she added, “We all know where to send the new guys for a good time, yes?”

  Caitlin stayed silent and Jacoline looked uncomfortably down at the table. Justin snorted. Ruby took advantage of the awkward moment to escape to the buffet. On the upside, at least nobody actually agreed with Maria. Not out loud, anyway.

  No one but Caitlin had bothered to defend me, either, and as I sat there, feeling desperately alone and friendless, tears began to well up and threatened to spill over. Not wanting anyone to see me cry, I quickly got up to race back to the darkness of the cabin. Caitlin wasn’t far behind.

  Grabbing my arm as we walked, she said, “Ellie, please don’t worry about them. There’s no point trying to convince them. People on ships will always believe what they want, and getting all upset about it won’t really help. They’ll forget all about it by next cruise, I guarantee you.”

  Rather unsurprisingly, this didn’t actually make me feel any better. “But Caitlin,” I wailed, “I didn’t sleep with him, and I don’t want them to think I did! I don’t want everyone to think I’m a bloody slag!” Was this really what ships were like? It was worse than secondary school. Here, I’d slipped up once and had pretty much been branded a scarlet woman. I wasn’t about to look for another man, but if I did meet a good guy there was no way he’d want a girl he believed had slept with two guys in less than a week.

  I vowed to never speak to anyone in the crew bar ever again. And I definitely wasn’t sleeping with anybody else on this contract. I would just focus on my photography and hang out with Caitlin. And watch lots of DVDs.