“Who is that?” I ask Jolene, suddenly consumed with who is putting her hands all over what used to only be mine. A gut check if I ever needed one. All of a sudden, my every nerve is on edge and I want nothing more than to pull that girl off of Noah and push her right back out the front door where she came from.
“That?” Jolene asks echoing me. “That is the past I was talking about the other night.”
I glance back towards the bar and see the blonde lean in close to Noah and whisper something in his ear. And although I see him tense, he turns towards her and I can’t help but notice how close their lips are from each other as he answers her. My body goes stiff as a jealous rage fills me inside and begins building furiously as I watch her place her hand on his back and lean in close again. Time drags as I watch the two of them. Fully absorbed in the show in front of me, I am not even aware of the stranger who has made his way to my side until he speaks.
“Hello, Miss.” His southern drawl startles me as I turn to my left. The other fire fighter, who was sitting with Rex and Noah when we walked in, is now hovering close and looking to start a conversation. Kind eyes and a wide grin greet me as he pulls out the chair next to mine and takes a seat.
“Hello.” I smile back at him, not sure where to go with this conversation or what exactly to say. I look over at Gwen and Jolene who smile back at the two of us before returning to their conversation.
“I couldn’t help but notice you when you walked in.” His drawl thickens as he shyly confesses his secret. “My name’s Cash. I work with Rex and Noah over at Station One.”
“Nice to meet you, Cash.” I shyly respond. As corny as it sounds, I am not sure exactly what I should say in a situation like this. “My name is Evelyn. I grew up with Rex, but only met Noah a while back.”
“I’ve worked with the two of them for a few months now. Although, they never mentioned they knew anyone as pretty as you.” Cash’s admission immediately makes me blush and I look down at my water glass I only then notice I am grasping too hard. I loosen my grip on the glass and wipe away the condensation which has formed. With it, I try and wipe away the thoughts haunting and creeping through my mind, but it is useless. No matter how hard I try, I can’t let them go.
“What brings you to Bardstown?” Cash asks as he scoots his chair in closer.
I look up and try not to give myself away as I search for the words to answer. “Just a girls trip. Wanted to say hi to a few old friends.”
“Well, I hope that there is room in this trip for new friends as well?” Cash asks scooting once again a little closer towards me. My mind races back to Trevor and my birthday a few months back. I scoot away and try to smile kindly at his words without having to answer back.
“So, will you be in town long?” Cash’s question barely escapes his lips before a shadow is cast over us. I turn to look up and see Noah. Fire in his eyes and determination laced across his features.
“Hey man,” Cash says, completely unaware as to the situation he has just stepped into. “About time you came over. I was just talking to, Evelyn was it?” I nod slightly and glance briefly his way before looking back into the eyes of a man who looks like he could kill Cash if he scooted his chair even an inch closer.
Noah looks my way and I notice his jaw tick. He studies me for a moment before turning back to Cash. His eyes glaze over as he lifts his cup up to his lips and takes a drink. He reaches in between the two of us and sets his empty glass down on the table. Turning slightly towards me as he slowly eases away, I catch the fire in his eye as he says, “You have a terrible habit of pretending sweetheart!”
My throat goes dry and his words sting as they sink in deeper and deeper into my heart. Cash, entirely oblivious to the words just spoken, continues the conversation without missing a beat.
“Why didn’t you tell me you had friends as pretty as this? Where did you say you were from, darlin’?”
I swallow over a lump in my throat as my eyes never leave Noahs. His stern look deepens as he crosses his arms and silently dares me to answer.
“Somewhere, far away from here.” I finally say which wins me a smug smile from Noah. Turning back to Cash, he looks between Noah and I before attempting to continue the conversation.
“How long are you planning on staying?” Cash asks.
“Oh, I am sure her wings will take her home faster than you can imagine!” Noah fumes. “Just when you think she might stick around for good, she’ll up and leave, isn’t that right? Didn’t you know, Cash? Woman have a terrible habit of changing their minds.”
My head whips around to meet his smile just as he uncrosses his arms. Leaning in towards me, I can smell the bourbon on his breath as his lips rest near my ear. “What are you trying to prove baby? We both know this little act of yours will get old and you’ll soon be running home. Save me the sob story and just leave now.”
Shooting up out of my seat, Noah’s stance meets me toe to toe as I fight to rein in my anger. I’m not sure what has gotten into him. If it is the bourbon or something more, but never since I have met him has he ever talked to me that way before. I notice as Cash takes a step back and slowly eases away from the situation.
“Care to call my bluff, Noah?” I ask, my anger raging inside.
He laughs and leans back a little before lowering his head and coming eye to eye with me. He stares into my eyes for a few moments before smiling a drunken daring grin. My nerves rattle through my rage, making me uneasy with what just might be going through his mind.
“Bluff? Baby, you're deceiving yourself if you think hanging around here any longer will convince me you actually intend to stay.”
I feel a presence at my side and turn slightly to see Jolene standing behind me.
“Back off Noah, you’re drunk!” Jolene insists, but her brother has no plans for surrender.
Noah laughs as he glances behind me to meet her stare. “Not drunk enough big sister. Whatever you got up your sleeve this time,” he says gesturing between the two of us before meeting her stare, “Leave it!” The force at which he makes his statement causes the both of us to flinch.
A hand crawls up Noah’s shoulder, and I don’t even have to take the time to process who it might be behind him. A blonde figure comes into sight, a mischievous smile graces her face laced with a determination only a woman in heat can give.
“Noah, baby,” she drawls out at him, but he doesn’t take his eyes off mine. Eyes trained towards me, he holds me in place, daring me to make a move. To say something. But the stranger's presence renders me speechless. “You left me all alone over there darlin’.” The stranger drawls making me sick to my stomach. “Don’t get me thinking you forgot all about me now?”
I push past both of them and hurry towards the front doors. Pushing out into the cool evening, I look to the right and then the left before the realization I am in a strange town sets in and forces me to stop. With no way in knowing where I should head next, I take a few deep breaths before I hear the door behind me slam open.
I look behind me and see Noah. Quickly, I dart to the right and walk a few feet down the road and pause, only then do I hear his footsteps behind me. Without thinking, I shoot down an alleyway and make it only a couple steps down before I am forcibly grabbed from behind by a strong arm around my waist. I let out a gasp, as I stumble a few steps backwards. Suddenly, pulled back against him and a brick wall in the shadows of the buildings surrounding us, his laugh rings low through my ears as he pulls me in tighter.
His breath is hot on my neck. His grip is tight around my waist, pushing me harder against him, I swear I hear him groan before he speaks. “You have a nasty little habit of running away from me darlin’.” I hear Noah whisper. I shiver as his free hand runs up and back down my side before he grabs ahold of my waist with both hands and forces me around to meet his face. Lacing both hands behind my waist, he holds me in spot with a death grip I know I could never escape.
He stares deep in my eyes as his hard face finally soft
ens for the first time tonight. Quietly, he examines my features in the shadows like I have seen him do many times before. He licks his lips, and my eyes dart to where they glisten in the moonlight. Looking back up, I see a man on the brink of destruction and I want only to be his undoing.
“Ah, to hell with it!” Noah mutters moments before his lips meet mine. Anger, desire and greed fill his kiss as he takes more than he gives. His hands move up my back and hold my head in place as he devours me, body and soul like he never has before.
Hungrily, I kiss him back. Pulling on his shirt, frustrated with not being able to get him close enough. I grab him towards me and feel his need growing harder against my body. He turns me around and pins me against the wall facing him. Hoisting me up, I instinctively wrap my legs around his waist, as his hands slowly work their way up my curves. I nibble his bottom lip and he lets out a moan before kissing me back with such force it steals my breath for a moment.
The coarseness of the wall behind me, and the softness of his body against mine ignites a fire inside I can feel building with each caress of his tongue. He pulls on my hair, and I drop my head to the side giving him access to my neck. Slowly he pulls his face away and runs his tongue from the top of my neck to my collarbone, before continuing his slow tortuous decend lower. My nails scrape down his back as I let out a moan. He responds by pushing himself up against me harder.
“Baby,” I hear him laugh against my skin. “You keep making sounds like that and I won’t hold back from taking you right here and now against this wall.”
I laugh slightly as he pushes against me and I feel how hard he is, knowing I am just as built up with tension, need and desire for him. For us. It has been too damn long. His hands run the length of my thigh wrapped tightly around his waist. Eagerly, he pushes up my skirt and continues the climb. Grabbing my skin so hard it hurts, before he slowly rubs out the pain. He inches his way up to my hip and pulls at the strap of my panties making the fabric snap back against my skin.
“Evelyn,” Noah confesses in a rushed whisper. “I need you. Now!”
I startle and look up to meet his eyes. For a moment I let myself get lost in them before instinct takes over. “Then take me.”
He pauses for a moment before his eyes look down at my lips. Glancing back up, he slowly lowers his face to my own never taking his eyes off mine and begins kissing me slowly. Savoring me like its the last time he will ever taste me. His hands grab and caress every inch of my body as his lips relentlessly continue their assault.
Coming up for air, I moan louder than expected as he grabs my ass and forces me down against his length, ever so slowly so I can feel every inch of the way I am making him come undone. A sly laugh escapes his lips as he licks, nips and sucks his way up the skin exposed on my chest. I respond by taking his ear in my teeth and nibbling lightly before saying, “You call this pretending?”
His hands freeze. His movements stop. I hear him mutter something under his breath before he quickly starts to back away and I am forced to drop my legs and come to standing. Coldness fills my body where his warmth used to be as he stands a few feet away and barely has the nerve to look me in the eye. Glancing down the alleyway, he takes a moment before looking back.
“Go home, Evelyn,” he says, as sadness fills his face. He turns to leave, pauses for a brief moment at the end of the alleyway and then walks around the corner without a second glance.
Noah
Instinctively, my feet walk back towards the bar as I pull at my hair in disbelief. What the hell just happened? Her comment was like pouring water on the hottest flame and finally bringing me back to reality. Shit, I really screwed up this time. I hear her footsteps before I even have the time to process any more of what I just allowed myself to do in that dark alleyway. Not surprised, I wait for her to call out my name, because if I know women, this fight has only just begun.
“Noah don’t you dare walk away from me again!” I hear her shout. I stop dead in my tracks. Feet glued in place. The door to the bar opens and Rex walks a few feet out into the night.
“We good out here?” He questions both of us.
With a nod, I wait as I see him glance behind me and can only guess she motioned the same because he quickly disappears back in the door he just came from. Wanting like crazy to erase everything that led the two of us to this moment in time, I stand with my back to Evelyn and wait for her to speak first.
“Why do you keep running from me? Why won’t you let me talk to you?” I hear her ask as emotion takes over and laces through her shaky voice.
I turn to look at her. Her lips are swollen from our encounter just a few moments earlier. Her hair is a mess, and her eye makeup smudged lightly from the heat of our contact. Right now, there is nothing on earth I want more than her. But I can’t be a momentary stepping stone for her again. I need forever. I want forever. And she once told me she couldn’t promise me that.
I look to the floor before managing to respond. “I don’t know what you can say that can change the way I feel. I don’t know anything you can come up with that will erase the way we ended.”
“I didn’t end us! You did!” She yells.
My head snaps to attention as I glare at her across the sidewalk. Can she really be serious? I was there that day in the hospital. I heard what she had to say. The only reason she is standing in front of me right now is because she took a chance on her dream and it didn’t work out. Just like that other woman in the bar right now, trying to crawl back for a second chance.
“You made it really clear you were done with me darlin’. I’ve never been one to beg and stick around where I am not wanted.”
She crosses her arms against her chest, and the bourbon takes over through my cloudy mind momentarily as I glance down to her cleavage, still red and marked from my lips a few minutes ago. I glance back up and shoot her a look that dares her to challenge me. I dare her to protest the truth. A truth I know she will repeat if given the chance.
“What are you talking about?” She asks confused. “I didn’t..”
Anger laced with too much alcohol makes me snap. “Oh come on!” I hiss out at her. “How can you even deny it? You said it yourself. ‘Your dream,’ remember? How you ‘hoped I’d be happy for you.’ Well now, I bet that dream didn’t work out so well after you healed up from a few broken bones and you want to come here and see if I will let you sneak back into my world like you were not about to just drop me for what you thought was a better life!”
Her eyes widen, and I know I have hit my target. Bingo! She just gave it away completely. No need for her mouth to confess what her face just said.
“You can’t be serious?” Evelyn angrily asks with a roll of the eyes. “And yes, while we are on the subject, thanks for checking in on me asshole. You know, after I almost lost my life. If you are so upset over the lies you have obviously conspired in your mind against me, then don’t you think someone that cared that much would have at least stuck around more than a day? Hard to believe you are so upset Noah when you obviously didn’t care if I lived or died!”
My heart stings with the truth she just hit me with. That was a bastard move, I know it, but she doesn’t know what I heard. And to hell if I am going to tell her I was there that day. That I heard what she said. She knows the truth. Her stubborn ass just refuses to admit it so she can get what she wants. Not this time, darlin’.
“I wrote you a note!” I say harshly. “Didn’t you get it?”
She laughs. “Ha! Yeah, a note, that’s right! Our entire relationship’s end summed up on one piece of paper. An easy way out for a coward!”
“Coward!” I hiss back at her, as I take a few steps towards her for the first time in our conversation. She doesn’t budge. She doesn’t blink an eye. Her face challenges me and just about tips me over the edge.
“You heard me.” She thunders back. “Did I stutter? Seems to me you couldn’t even handle the truth. You’d rather live in your web of lies because it’s safer there. Safer
than taking a chance.”
“What the fuck do you know about taking chances?” I yell back at her. “You have no idea what I have given up! What I have taken chances on! With your perfect little life in your perfect little family. Do you ever make any decisions on your own Evelyn, or just ride the wave of mommy and daddy’s vision for your future needing to climb the ladder and stepping on whoever gets in your way!?”
Her hand meets my face before the sting even begins to register. Looking back in her eyes, she doesn’t even flinch to show the smallest amount of concern or apology. I am just about to speak when she says, “Chances! I am here now, aren’t I Noah?”
The door to the bar opens behind us, and Jolene and Gwen make their way into the night. I can hear them snickering and whispering before they come into view. Evelyn’s eyes stay trained on mine. A fire holds me in place. A look of hostility graces her features and mirrors the way I feel inside.
“We’re done here,” I say, as I turn to leave. Moments before grabbing the handle and stepping back inside the bar I hear a question I might never be able to escape leave her lips.
“Why won’t you fight for us?”
I pause and swallow past the lump in my throat. Resting my head against the door in front of me, I try to come up with an answer. With a way to finish this. To get her to leave. Or maybe try and make her stay. Shit, I don’t know! But the night is too far gone, and between the drinks, Becky, the alleyway and Evelyn’s confrontation - I can’t seem to find the words. So I answer her back the only way I see logical, with a question of my own.
“When L.A. called, why wasn’t your first instinct to stay?”
Opening the door, I step back into the bar and hope she gets the hint and packs her bags to head home. But right as I swear that is the best and only decision that needs to be made, I feel deep inside the hope for her to see through my bullshit and stay. Whatever happens, I know it can’t be solved tonight - and I have no plans in staying here a moment longer than I have to.
Devotion (Indecision Duet Book 2) Page 7