by Melody Adams
Forget the son of a bitch, my inner voice warned. You have your job, wonderful friends, and a sweet little house in paradise. The unique opportunity to explore the fauna and flora of a previously unknown planet.
But my heart just didn't seem to want to listen to my mind. The desire to feel Pains hands back on my body, to taste his kisses, to feel him deep inside me, was still there. I behaved like a stupid teenager, who was in love for the first time. You'd think I'd grown up in the years since my high school days!
I went into the kitchen to prepare a snack, then I would watch a movie and, hopefully, get tired enough to sleep. I hoped I wouldn't dream about Pain again.
After making myself a sandwich, I got a cold beer from the fridge and went into the living room. I put my snack and beer on the table and grabbed the remote. Thanks to modern technology we could receive some transmitters from Earth and I switched through the programs until I came across a soap opera. That was just the thing. I put the remote aside and grabbed the plate with the sandwich to make myself comfortable on the couch.
The soap opera was over and a talk show followed. I actually never watched talk shows, but today I felt like it, so I watched the host try to negotiate between an overprotective mother and her son-in-law. The daughter sat crying on the couch and I felt with the young woman. Somehow the tears started rolling all by themselves and I couldn't tell if I was crying out of pity for the daughter or because of my own love sorrow. I emptied my beer and rose to get a new one.
When it was midnight, I had emptied five beers and felt pretty drunk. I wasn’t used to drink. But now it was all right with me because I felt tired and drunk enough to sleep. I staggered into the bathroom and got ready for bed.
Pain
I had only wanted to get some fresh air because I couldn't sleep, but somehow I found myself suddenly in Julia's back garden, staring at her window, where I could see her shadowy figure behind the curtain. The last days I had tried to stay away from her and now my subconscious had led me to her, and the desire I had tried to suppress with all my might came back many times stronger. My cock pounded in my boxers and I unconsciously rubbed against the hardness that almost painfully pressed against the constricting pants.
"Damn," I growled quietly, undecided what to do. I closed my eyes and tried to get my emotions under control. Pictures appeared in my head. Pictures of Julia naked and with a flushed face beneath me. I thought I could even hear her soft sounds of pleasure. This was torture! I wanted her, and as much as I tried to forget her – I just didn't succeed. I could remember our night of love down to the smallest detail. Her enticing scent, the taste of her honey, the silky skin, her velvety heat that closed tightly around my shaft and the throaty screams that she had emitted when she was overwhelmed by her climax. I wanted to relive it. I wanted it with a violent force that frightened me. I was afraid, to feel too much, to loose someone again. The hours with Holly had helped me a little to deal with my past, but I was far from ready to enter into a new relationship.
Nevertheless, I set myself in motion as if in a trance and moved closer to Julia's window. I could hear the TV. Then it stopped. She must have turned it off. Would she go to sleep now? Was she sleeping naked, or was she wearing one of those lacy things that women sometimes wore in movies? The thought only turned me on more. I saw her bathroom window open a crack and came closer. How could she be so reckless? Someone had to teach the female a lesson, so she learned not to take unnecessary risks. First she walked alone in the forest and now she left her window open! Did the female have no sense at all?
I opened the window and climbed into the bathroom. After I had closed the window properly, I left the bathroom to give Julia a piece of my mind. She really had to stop being so reckless. Without thinking, I burst into her living room.
"What the hell were you thinking about leaving the window open?" I yelled.
She jumped up from the couch, screaming, and stared at me in horror. Then she recognized me, and anger suppressed the frightened expression.
"What the fuck do you think you are doing?" She yelled at me. "You just walk into my house and scare me to death?"
"Be glad that it’s only me and not one of the Jinggs. Have you no common sense at all?" I countered angrily and stepped closer until I stood directly in front of her.
I grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her.
"Damn female! I should put you over my knee and spank your pretty ass, so you'd learn not to be so damn careless!"
"Let me go, you ... you...!"
"What?"
"You arrogant, sick bastard!"
"Watch your mouth," I warned. "I'm really tempted to make my threat come true and beat some sense into you!"
"I will report you, you sadistic son of a bitch! Asshole! You have no right to be here at all, let alone lay a hand on me. I will report you! Yes! You are completely insane! You belong in a nuthouse! Son of a bitch!"
I had enough of being insulted by her. I let myself fall onto the sofa and dragged her down to lie over my lap.
"Let go of me," she shouted and wriggled, but I held her down with ease. She was actually really wearing one of those lacy things, as I noticed with excitement. I pushed the hem up over her butt and put one hand on her voluptuous ass.
"If you don't let go of me immediately, you'll regret it," she threatened, "I'll go to Freedom and tell him everything. Get your dirty hands off me! Bastard! Son of a bitch!"
She showed more fire than I expected, and I grinned. Then I gave her ass a well-placed spank. The clapping noise was followed by an outraged outcry from Julia. She gave me colorful insults when I let my hand come down on her bottom again and again. When I let my hand rest, her butt was as red as a lobster and I became aware how much the little spanking had turned me on.
"God you are beautiful", I murmured and let my hand glide over the reddened flesh.
"You sick fuck," she spat at me. "You perverse sadist!"
Grinning, I let my hand slide between her thighs.
"Don't get so upset," I whispered as I stroked over the wet fabric of her thong. "You are as turned on as I am. Your sweet pussy swims in your juices, my love."
Julia
Desperately, I tried to free myself from his grip. I was angry. But more with myself – that I had reacted to this humiliation like this. It cost me everything to suppress a moan as Pains fingers stroked my pussy. He pushed the cloth aside and one finger slid purposefully into my dripping hole.
"Oh my God," I gasped.
I wasn’t allowed to let that happen! He would use me like the last time and he would hurt me again. I finally had to get over him, forget him. Instead I lay here on his lap and wished that he would do all the delicious things to me again. My clit throbbed demandingly, and I caught myself opening my thighs further to give Pain better access to my pussy. As a reward he let his finger circle over my pearl and hot lust shot through my lady parts.
"I know what you need," he whispered and rubbed harder.
I couldn’t deny it. My body was on fire and I needed relief from the sweet ache. Pushing every shame aside I pushed myself towards his caressing fingers. Pain drove me higher and higher until I exploded and screamed my pleasure out loud. Breathing heavily, I collapsed on his lap. My heart hammered wildly in my chest. Pain turned me around on his lap and pulled me into his arms. Then he rose with me on his arms, and carried me into my bedroom. It was too late to back down. I wanted him. Even now, sluggish from the climax I had just experienced, I longed for more. I wanted to feel him inside me again, wanted him to fill me with his hard length and drive me to new heights.
He laid me down on my bed and undressed hastily without taking his eyes off me. I couldn't get enough of his muscular body, which was covered in scars. Scars, that had been inflicted on him during his time at DMI, while being fully conscious. I wondered how many scars his soul had borne. No wonder he was so contradictory. He was a broken man. He would probably never be ready for a relationship. Nevertheless, I couldn’t help b
ut fall for him. I stretched out my arms to him and he climbed up to me on the bed. His hungry gaze wandered over my body, dressed in black lace.
"I can't stay away from you," he whispered as he pushed up my negligée and thrust into me all the way.
I wound my legs around his middle and buried my hands in his hair. This time he held nothing back. He loved me hard and with a force that made my bed wobble. The headboard banged against the wall with each of his thrusts. I let my fingernails glide over his back and pressed my pelvis against his. Tears ran down my cheeks. I wanted him so badly that it hurt. If only I could freeze this moment, if I could prevent it from ever ending. I knew he would leave me afterwards and I would cry myself to sleep again.
"Pain," I sobbed as the climax trembled my body. "Pain!"
"Julia," he gasped, then I felt him pouring inside me and more tears running down my cheeks.
With a beating heart I waited for him to roll off me to get dressed and disappear. Instead he pulled me with him as he rolled to the side and held me close to his hard body. Trembling, I lay in his arms, completely overwhelmed by my unexpectedly violent feelings. My heartbeat slowly began to calm down and my tears stopped. I wanted to ask him a thousand questions and yet, I couldn't say a word. At some point I fell into an exhausted sleep.
Pain
I could tell from her breathing that she was asleep. When I had seen her tears, I couldn’t bring myself to leave her. Now that she was asleep there was no reason to hold her in my arms anymore. If I had even a spark of sanity left, I would leave now. Instead I lay here staring at her. Her tears had dried, but her eyes were slightly swollen and reddened. I knew it had been wrong to make love to her again. As long as I wasn’t ready to make her my mate, I should keep my hands off her. It wasn’t fair on her. It seemed obvious that she felt something for me and I would only hurt her again. Although it was the last thing I wanted, I couldn’t bring myself to engage in a new relationship, nor could I keep my hands off her. It was different with Julia than it had been with my first mate. My mate and I had come together out of necessity, and I had wanted to take care of her and protect her, because I had felt connected to her, but never had I felt this wild hunger. Neither did she. After we got the message that she was pregnant, we hadn’t slept together again. Both of us had had no desire for it. We shared my sleeping place and when it was cold in the cell I had warmed her with my body. But even that she had rather reluctantly endured.
"You're trembling," I said quietly.
"I'm okay," she assured me.
"It's cold. Let me warm you up."
I didn't want anything to happen to the child. I had no idea about these things, but it couldn't be good for a mother-to-be to freeze half to death.
I stretched out my arms and pulled her into my body. She was ice-cold and trembled even more than I feared. Nevertheless, she resisted my embrace.
"Stop fidgeting! You are ice-cold. I won't lie here and watch you freeze to death."
She finally gave in and we fell into a restless sleep.
The memory opened old wounds and I was torn back and forth between the desire to tug Julia even closer to me, and the impulse to jump up and flee the room. I wasn't ready to let her go. She felt too good in my arms. I wanted to hold her a little longer.
Julia
When I woke up with a slight hangover and found myself in my bed, I sat up abruptly. Why was I in my bed and not on the couch? Did that mean that it hadn’t been a dream? Had Pain really been here? I tried to remember last night. If it hadn't been a dream, then Pain had suddenly burst into my living room. With heated cheeks I remembered how he had spanked my ass first, only to gift me one of the most intense climaxes I had ever experienced. Then he had carried me into the bedroom, fucked me and...
I frowned. Had he really stayed and held me in his arms? I couldn’t remember the moment when I had fallen asleep, but I could also not remember him leaving. He must have stayed with me until I fell asleep. The idea made my heart beat faster. What did that mean? Did it mean anything at all? And why had he finally left at some point? It probably had no deeper meaning. It was possible that he had just stayed out of a bad conscience after I had cried like a stupid teenager. Disheartened, I got out of bed, and went to the bathroom. There I opened the medicine cabinet and took out two aspirins. My hangover was getting worse every minute. I washed the tablets down with water and went about my morning toilet.
Pain
"What do you want to talk about today?" Holly asked.
I shrugged my shoulders. All my thoughts circled around Julia, what we had shared. I couldn’t get her out of my head. I even had less flashbacks and nightmares, because Julia took up all my thinking. Everything seemed to focus on her. It was frightening that she had such an influence on me, when we weren't even a couple. How bad did it have to be if I made her my mate?
"I've heard that you've been in a pretty bad mood lately and people are worried about you. Don't you want to tell me what has thrown you off track?"
"I don't know. – Maybe it has something to do with me speaking about my past?"
Holly shook her head decidedly.
"No. More nightmares, more flashbacks – I could imagine that, but your behavior suggests that you're chewing on another problem you didn't tell me about."
"I don't want to talk about it," I said decisively. "I can handle it alone!"
Holly looked at me skeptically.
"But it doesn't look like you're particularly successful with it," she observed.
"It is complicated," I avoided.
"Does it have to do with your past or your present?"
"Both," I replied after a short reflection.
Holly looked at me full of expectation and I sighed. She wouldn't let me rest until I told her why I was so aggressive lately.
"This is a matter of confidentiality, isn't it?" I assured myself.
"Of course! Nothing of what we are talking about here is going to get out, I promise you."
"It ... I have a certain interest in ... in a female, but..."
"But?" Holly pressed, when I didn't talk any further.
"I can’t ... take a mate!"
"Why not?" Holly wanted to know.
"You can see how broken I am. That wouldn’t go well and ... I don't want to lose someone again who ... means something to me."
"And this woman we are talking about ... You think she could grow too close to your heart?"
I nodded.
"Of course it is normally advisable to come to terms with your past before you venture into a new relationship. I would have advised every other patient to wait and see. – But you are an Alien Breed and not a human. It is in your genetics that you develop strong feelings when you meet your mate. Suppressing these feelings could eventually lead to bigger problems. Especially in your case, where other factors from your past still play a big role. It's a very difficult situation and I'm honestly a little at a loss at the moment about how we're going to do this."
I hadn't wanted to talk to Holly about Julia, but now that I had, I had secretly hoped that Holly would have an answer to my problems. I pressed my lips tightly together and felt anger and disappointment spreading inside me. Holly seemed to feel what was going on inside me. She put one hand on my arm and leaned something over to me.
"I'll think about it in detail and we'll talk about it again tomorrow, okay?"
I nodded, a little relieved. I was really overwhelmed with this whole situation. I had to either manage to get Julia out of my head for good or find a way to deal with my fears of loss.
"Good." Holly rose and gave me a cheering smile. "Then we'll call it a day and see each other tomorrow at three?"
"Okay," I agreed and got up as well. "See you tomorrow."
Holly
Holly watched Pain leave, and gave a sigh when he closed the door behind him. That really was a right mess. Pain was in no way suitable for a new relationship. On the other hand, his genetics made it impossible for him to successfully a
void his future mate. If he even saw her flirting with another man, it could end in disaster. In his current condition, he would be able to commit murder in such a case. He was really a danger to others. Holly was in a great conflict. On the one hand, everything Pain had told her was confidential – on the other hand, she had a moral obligation to warn the others.
"What am I doing?" She asked herself quietly.
There was a knock at the door and she was startled out of her thoughts.
"Yes? Come in," she shouted.
The door opened, and Player stuck his head in. A grin appeared on his face when he saw her. He closed the door behind him and approached her. Holly's heart began to beat faster as her mate devoured her with his eyes. At least for the moment she had forgotten her problem with Pain.
"Do you have an appointment now?" Player asked.
Holly shook her head.
"No! I'm free now," she replied.
"Good," muttered Player. "I intend to spread you out over your desk and eat your pussy until you beg for mercy. Then I want to ram my cock balls deep into your hot wet cunt and fuck you so hard, you’ll be raw for days. I will have to cover your mouth, though, because I will make you scream, Doc!"