Troubled Waters (Oceans of Love Book 1)

by Nia Arthurs

  “It’s best if you leave.”

  “I can’t. You’ve got to make me.” It was a breathless request.

  His chest heaved as he dragged in a ragged breath and walked steadily toward her. Benjamin placed both hands on her shoulders, turned her around, and marched her to the gaping door.

  Just before he pushed her through, she turned back to catch one more glimpse of his handsome face, her raw thoughts on display. Their eyes caught and held. Kelly’s heart leapt and a buzzing filtered through her head, spilling down, down, down until it spread through her entire body.

  Benjamin froze, his hands still on her shoulders. He dipped his head and muttered. “I knew that expression would get me into trouble.”

  Buoyed by his words, she turned in his arms and kicked the door shut just as he flung her back and moved his hands from the safety of her shoulders to her hips. His lips descended, driving her against the doorknob with the force of it.

  The lock speared her back, but Kelly wasn’t too concerned as she eagerly accepted Benjamin’s embrace. He kissed her ardently, passionately, restraining nothing and giving everything.

  Soon, however, the pain in her back would not be ignored. She pushed against him, refusing to give up the connection of their kiss, but eager to move their frantic caresses to a more suitable location.

  Benjamin allowed her to steer him toward the hallway, but—when he sensed where she was going—put up a resistance and refused to be lead in the direction that she intended.

  Undeterred, Kelly changed venues and nudged him toward the couch. She shoved him so that he fell into the arms of the black sofa. Without wasting a moment, Kelly followed his path, breaking away from his lips to press kisses to the soft of his ear, down his neck and finally marking the crest of his abs.

  Her body pressed against the length of his. Her insides throbbed and she caressed the planes of his chest as the need to peel back her own clothes and feel skin on skin nearly drove her mad. A rumbling sound came from the back of Benjamin’s throat. It fired up her engines and sent her nearly delirious with need.

  She inched her hand down and starting pulling at the hem of his stretchy pants, wishing she had thought to change out of her work clothes of a heavy jacket, blouse, pantyhose and skirt before paying Benjamin a visit tonight.

  The amount of time it would take to discard the clothing was too much. Perhaps she should have just come up here naked.

  She abandoned her goal of freeing him of his pants—which she could easily drag him out of—to the more arduous task of peeling off her clothes. Kelly flung her hair over her shoulder, her lips parted and her legs spread open over Benjamin’s chest.

  She sat into him as she began to take off her jacket when she felt her body slipping. Benjamin moved from his supine position and sat up, the process causing her to lose her balance and fall off his body and into the couch.

  “What’s wrong?” she whispered, barely able to speak past the lump of desire in her throat. “Are you getting protection?”

  “Kel, let’s… let’s slow down for a bit.”

  Her eyes bugged and she froze. Slow down? She was just getting started. Pressing on the brakes now was the last thing she was thinking about. Her gaze skimmed the evidence of Benjamin’s own desire. His body was acting in direct contrast to his words.

  “What’s wrong?” She slapped a hand to her lips. “Wait… are you gay?”

  It would explain why he hadn’t made any moves on her even though her signals had been crystal clear. Kelly scrambled up and smoothed her mussed hair. Just her luck.

  Benjamin chuckled low in his throat. “No, I’m not gay.”

  “Oh.” She tilted her head, more confused than ever. “Then what is it? Do you just not find me attractive? Is that it?”

  “No, no.” He blew out a breath. “Forgive me if I can’t come near you right now, but that’s the farthest thing from the truth.”

  “Then why…”

  He pointed to her, his face flushed. “I want to. Trust me. I do. But you’re worth more than a cheap night of sex, Kel. So much more.”

  “I’m not.” She insisted, rising and approaching him. “You want this and I need this. Why should we fight it?”

  Kelly found it utterly ridiculous to stand in front of a heterosexual, red-blooded man that she wanted to attack and ride and taste more than anything and who wanted to do the same to her, and explain why they should get on with it.

  Was this some kind of trendy, American foreplay? She’d go along for now. Even if it wasn’t, Kelly was confident that their night wasn’t over yet.

  At the end of the day, men always gave in to their baser instincts. Benjamin Levy was no different.

  I’m Curious About You

  Kelly sat with her legs crossed and her head tilted as she watched the man she’d been this close to sleeping with slowly regain the clamp on his control. When Benjamin returned from his bedroom with a shirt on and a watch box in his hand, her disappointment mounted.

  Please tell me you keep your stash of protection in that fancy case.

  He sat beside her and kept very still. “It’s taking every last scrap of my energy to hold it together and pretend I’m a gentleman right now.” He glanced at her, his blue eyes still dark with desire. “I’m only doing this because you’re not just any woman to me.”

  The confession helped to soothe her disappointment about not getting any tonight.

  “What is it?” she jerked her chin at the box.

  “It’s you.”

  “Me?” She accepted the case and twirled it over in her hands. It looked expensive, but she wasn’t so familiar with the brand names. Rene would have a better handle on what line the item was from and even when it had been unveiled to the public.

  “It’s my Louis Moinet Limited Edition watch. Every stone on that watch was cut by the same jeweler to ensure that the cut signatures remained consistent throughout the piece.”

  “Wow.” She opened the box and was impressed by the watch cushioned in the velvety depths. “It must be expensive.”

  “It’s priceless,” he said. “A gift from my father.”

  “Oh.”

  He held out his hand, revealing a leather watch that—though made of fine quality—came nowhere near to the grandiose of the watch she held. “I got this for a couple hundred bucks at the mall. I wear it in the city, and I’m not afraid if it gets stolen or scratched because I can always buy another.”

  Kelly glanced at the watch she cradled. “How often have you worn this one?”

  “Once. It was a huge gala hosted by my father and several international dignitaries were present.”

  “Why are you showing me this?”

  Instead of showing me more interesting things? Preferably naked.

  Oblivious to her thoughts, Benjamin pointed to the watch on his wrist. “I sometimes forget this watch in my pocket and throw it in the wash with my laundry. I drop it on the floor. I use it how and when I want because I feel like it. To me it has no value.”

  “And this—I—do?” She held up the box.

  “I would think about where I set the Louis Moinet after I took it off. If there’s water around when I’m wearing it. If it’s too loose on my hand so it could fall off. I make sure it’s comfortable. Clean. Safe. I would never put it in the same place where I keep my cheap watch. It’s too valuable.”

  “So you won’t sleep with me… because I’m valuable.”

  “I don’t want to treat you the way other men have in the past. I don’t want to treat you the way I’ve treated women in my past.”

  “Because I’m valuable to you.” She was starting to get it. “You think I’m worth putting in the extra effort.”

  “I know you’re worth that effort.”

  Kelly frowned. “But why does that mean no sex?”

  He laughed.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “I’m sorry. You look like a puppy begging for a meal right now.”

  “Ignoring the
fact that you’ve compared me to a dog, I don’t see anything wrong with two consenting adults sharing a mutually enjoyable activity. It’s not like we’re teenagers standing on the cusps of our future.”

  “I’m standing on the cusps of mine.” Benjamin tapped his chest. “From the moment I first saw you I knew it, and that understanding’s only gotten stronger the more I’ve gotten to know you.”

  Kelly blinked, blown away by his raw honesty.

  “I want you to see that you can trust me,” Benjamin said. “That in the future, even if some other girl tries to capture my interest and even if she gets as far as we have tonight, I wouldn’t give in just because we’re—how did you put it? ‘Consenting adults sharing a mutually enjoyable activity.’”

  “You’re promising you wouldn’t cheat.”

  “I’m promising that the way I value you would make me think twice about it.”

  “You realize that you’re bizarre, right? Any man would jump at the chance to have sex. Whether they value their partner or not.”

  “My father raised me to respect women,” he said. “Those are my values. You can take them or leave them.”

  “I want to take them,” she admitted. “But I also want to take you. In the physical sense. I don’t see that changing.”

  He smiled. “Since we’re being upfront about it, I want you too. In the physical sense.”

  Kelly simply could not wrap her brain around their non-existent problem. “Then go ahead!” She unzipped her skirt. “Take me here. On the floor. On the wall. On the table. Just do it!”

  Benjamin reached out, gently slipped her zipper back up and tapped the curve of her butt. Then he closed her fingers over the box.

  “I want you to have it.”

  “What?” Kelly froze. “I can’t. It’s too expensive. And it’s from your father.”

  “You’re worth more to me than that watch,” he said, his blue eyes boring into hers. “Take it.”

  “I’m trying to understand you. I really am, but I don’t get it.” She licked her lips and confessed. “I like you.”

  “And I’m… curious about you.”

  Kelly had been expecting a similar admission and was momentarily taken aback by his answer. “Curious? What does that even mean?”

  He ran his hand down her chin and tucked a lock of her dark hair behind her ear. “Date me.”

  She leaned forward. “Kiss me.”

  “Trust me.”

  “Sleep with me.”

  Benjamin smiled. “I’d kiss you, but I don’t think it would stop there.”

  “That’s what I’m hoping for.”

  “I wish you could see yourself the way I see you.”

  “Naked?”

  “Priceless.”

  She groaned in frustration and gave up on teasing Benjamin out of his clothes. At least for now.

  “One of the reasons I don’t understand you is because we barely know each other. It’s been a little over a week since we met.” She reasoned. “How do you know I’m worth so much? What’s so ‘curious’ about me?”

  “Every woman deserves respect,” Benjamin said. “And you… for starters, you kissed me.”

  Her stomach flipped. “How many times do I have to explain—?”

  “I’m kidding.” Benjamin rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “When I met Clayton and he started gushing about this girl who lived in the apartment—how she always took care of him and did everything he wanted, I was curious.”

  Kelly tilted her head and listened, not quite sure she liked the idea of Benjamin’s interest arising from Clayton’s description of her.

  “When I asked if you were his wife and he couldn’t answer, I was even more intrigued. What kind of girl treated a man with such love when he wasn’t giving her the same? I wanted to meet you and ask you for myself.”

  “So basically, I’m a psychology project.” Kelly slapped her hands on her thighs and stood. “Good to know.”

  “Not so fast.” His hand snaked out and he tugged her down into his lap. Kelly’s annoyance cleared on impact.

  This is what I’m talking about.

  “Don’t get distracted,” Benjamin said, lightly kissing her ear. “This is important.”

  If he wanted her to focus, he shouldn’t have kissed her. Kelly battled the urge to turn around, wrap her legs around his waist, and build off Benjamin’s first move, but sensing that he really wanted to get his point across, she calmed down.

  “Go ahead.”

  “The more time I spent around you, the more layers you revealed. The more I thought I’d uncovered, the more you gave me to figure out.” He lightly rubbed her shoulder. “I think… I’m going to be curious about you forever.”

  “Does that include sex?”

  “Kel…” he made a sound between a laugh and a groan.

  “Sorry. Just thought I’d put it out there.” She clasped her hands together. “So… where does that leave us? I’m going to be honest, Benjamin. I’m not comfortable merging my professional and my personal life long term. You’re my boss. You’re an American. I don’t even want to think about the world of wealth and connections that you come from. I’m a simple girl.”

  “I’m a simple guy.”

  “Oh no, you’re not. If you were a simple guy, you would have bitten off my panties, done your business, and moved on.”

  Her words seemed to stir him for he set her off his lap immediately. “You’ve got a gift for visuals.”

  “Torture yourself all you want.” Kelly rose. “At the end of the day, it’s better for both of us if you value me like the common watch on your hand and get rid of your curiosity once and for all.”

  “You drive a hard bargain,” he said. “But treating a Louis Moinet like a piece of trash won’t make it any less of a Louis Moinet.”

  “We’ll see how long you hold out.” Kelly shrugged her jacket more firmly on her shoulders.

  Benjamin rose as well and closed her hand over the watch box. “When you understand what I’ve said tonight, you can give it back to me.”

  “I guess I’m keeping it forever,” she mumbled under her breath as she walked to the door and closed it behind her.

  The Morning After

  Sunlight stole through the blinds over her windowpane and danced in the corners of her bedroom. Kelly yawned and cracked her eyelids open. Regret flooded her before she’d gotten a good grasp on consciousness, but it was a different kind of feeling than she was used to.

  The oh-God-what-did-I-do-last-night had been replaced by why-the-heck-didn’t-we-do-it-last-night. It was a strange sensation, but as she strengthened her grip on reality, Kelly realized it wasn’t altogether unpleasant.

  There was something to say about not jumping immediately into bed with a man. Her connection to Benjamin had only grown stronger after witnessing his firmness in rejecting her. Perhaps a bit of his ‘curiosity’ had rubbed on her too. Or perhaps the challenge of testing his boundaries to their limit appealed to her.

  She got up and went through her morning routine, choosing a red blouse and a black high-waist pants as her armor for the day. She’d survived the craziness of last night, but Kelly would have to face a different kind of battlefield in the office.

  Rumors were stinky little demons. She couldn’t hide out in the Business Admin section all day again. Eventually, she would have to emerge and face the music—and the questions—that her co-workers would slam her way.

  Kelly sighed and put the finishing touches on her makeup when her eyes landed on the watch box sitting comfortably on her vanity dresser. What had Benjamin been thinking to give her that? Should she go down and open a security deposit box to keep it in until he was ready for it? The watch was far too valuable to have it lying around…

  She paused.

  There was that word again. ‘Valuable’.

  She shook her head and walked out the door. Benjamin was closing his front door as well and he smiled when he spotted her. Kelly’s first instinct was to duck her head and sc
ramble along.

  It had been much easier to play the vixen in the darkness when testosterone was flying high and her reproductive organs were throbbing. Now, in the light of day with her mind geared up for work, Kelly didn’t know what to do with herself.

  “Hey,” Benjamin said confidently, coming down the stairs toward her.

  “Hey,” Kelly replied, her gaze in the opposite direction.

  He stopped right beside her, his presence filling the stairwell. She closed her eyes and inhaled his scent—yummy.

  “Do you need a ride?” he asked.

  “No, I’m good.”

  “Ride with me.”

  It wasn’t a question this time.

  “You’re obnoxiously bossy.”

  He arched an eyebrow, his blue eyes captivating. “Well… I am your boss.”

  Kelly lifted her chin, but followed him to his SUV and climbed in.

  “Did Bianca reach safely yesterday?” she asked as Benjamin started the car.

  “Yeah. She’ll spend a few days with her mom before she returns to college.”

  If Bianca hadn’t let her in on Benjamin’s family history, the phrase would have flown right over her head. This time, she picked up on the meaning behind his words.

  “Wait…” Kelly leaned forward. “We’re going in the opposite direction. The Yasser Center is that way.”

  “Have you eaten breakfast yet? I haven’t.” Benjamin parked in front of a pink and green cement building with the words ‘Sugar Fix’ emblazoned on the front. “I’ll be right back.”

  Before she could utter a word, he jumped out of the car and returned minutes later with two huge fried jacks stuffed with eggs, ham and cheese and wrapped in foil.

  “Could you hold these for me?” he asked as he slid the meal into her hands and set the bottles of orange juice in the cup holders.

  Benjamin drove to a park where they watched the Caribbean Sea and ate their breakfast, conversing easily about their favorite genres of music and their shared love for exercising.

  To be safe, Kelly asked him to drop her off a couple blocks from work so they weren’t seen arriving together. She had to threaten to jump out of the moving car before Benjamin agreed to let her walk.