Outback Hero

by Sally Gould

  I didn't want to watch, but my eyes darted from the raw meat to Agro (who had just slid into the water) to Charlie (who was still smiling). If Agro decided that Charlie's head looked tastier than the pork, it'd be my fault.

  I crossed my fingers, sat on my hands and stared. Charlie waved the bamboo, so the pork dangled out in front of Agro. She glided closer and closer, not taking her bulgy yellow eyes off the meat. And then she jumped up high, but Charlie lifted the pork even higher. Agro went ballistic. She thrashed about, letting everyone know she wasn't happy. People laughed. I glared at them. Agro settled down and glided up and down along the side of the boat. Charlie waved the pork over her head but she ignored it.

  Suddenly I had a real bad feeling. The same way I felt before I took off the handbrake of Dad's car the other day. Something terrible was going to happen; I just felt it. But what could I do?

  I tried to watch the pork, Agro and Charlie all at the same time. Then she leapt way up in the air. But for some reason, Charlie pulled the bamboo in and the croc lunged toward him. Cameras clicked and people screamed, including me. Agro missed Charlie and the pork. My heart raced.

  Charlie hadn't moved. He just stood there real calm. The captain made a joke about Charlie being a daredevil. I didn't laugh. Charlie smiled like it was nothing. Then he waved the meat over Agro's head again and this time she soared up and got it. Everyone clapped.

  Charlie came back to his seat with that stupid grin on his face. Alyson carried on like he was a hero.

  Harry jumped off his seat and said, "You're so brave."

  Seemed more stupid than brave to me.

  Charlie still couldn't stop grinning. Alyson and Harry fired questions at him as though he'd only just escaped death.

  Weren't you scared?

  Did Agro look you in the eye?

  Could you see down Agro's throat?

  Tyson's arms were folded and I could tell he didn't like all the attention on Charlie.

  I didn't care. Well ... I sort of did. I wished I wasn't a scaredy-cat. I wished I were brave.

  Finally, the boat ride ended. As we walked back to the LandCruiser, Dad pulled out his digital camera and showed Charlie the photos he'd taken of Charlie feeding Agro. I didn't care. I got into the car, lay across my back seat and closed my eyes.

  I heard Dad start the car and say, "It's a fair way to Jabiru."

  Sleeping would make the time go faster, I decided.

  ***

  "Max, we're here. Wake up," Mom said softly as she shook my shoulder.

  Slowly, I got up and looked out the car window. "Where are we? And what's that?"

  "That's our hotel. You slept the whole way."

  "Why does it look like a humungous monster?"

  Charlie laughed.

  I turned round and gave him an evil stare.

  Mom replied as she stuffed things into her handbag, "The hotel is in the shape of a crocodile. There's a pool in the middle."

  "What? We'll be sleeping inside a croc?"

  Mom huffed. "Come on. There's Dad with the key."

  While Dad got the bags out of the back I said real casual, "So, if there's a fire, then we'll all be trapped inside a croc."

  Charlie looked at me and rolled his eyes, while Mom said, "At least we'll all die together."

  I replied, "I don't mind being an orphan, you know."

  "MAAX!" said Dad in that voice. "There'll be fire alarms and sprinklers and you'll be safer in there than at home." He picked up a bag and marched off toward a staircase - a staircase that had a roof in the shape of a croc's foot.

  Charlie and me had our own room, which meant we could stay up all night and watch cable TV. He jumped on the bed closest to the TV and grabbed the remote. Typical - he was so immature. I opened up every drawer and cupboard, in case someone was hiding.

  No one was.

  We went downstairs for a swim and even though it was as hot as, Charlie and me were the only ones in the pool. We played water polo and, as usual, Charlie was thrashing me (even though I was jumping off the bottom of the pool when I went to shoot a goal).

  Mom called out to us just as Charlie got his twentieth goal, "Time to get out; we're going for a walk."

  "Walk?" I leant over the side of the pool near where Mom sat. "Where?"

  "On a walking trail," she said.

  I whispered, so Charlie wouldn't hear, "Out in the bush? Are there fences?"

  Mom didn't lower her voice. "Why would you want fences?"

  Charlie laughed from behind me. "Oh, Max, you're not scared of going for a walk? You can't be serious."

  "Am not." I jumped out of the pool and grabbed a towel. I'm going to be brave, I said to myself. But then I realized the crocs would've sunbathed all morning and would be ready to eat. Although they'd probably go for Charlie, because he was bigger and they'd get more meat.

  I wrapped the towel around my waist and said, "Hurry up, Charlie. Let's go."

  5. CROC ON LAND

  It took thirty minutes to drive to the walking trail. I didn't care. I stared out the window as though I was interested in a bunch of boring trees stuck on red dirt and memorized the names of the fifty states of the United States of America. Yes, I'm clever, I know. But I had a way to help me remember. There are four states that begin with A, three states that begin with C and so on. The hard one is M, because there are eight. I remember them in alphabetical order because it makes it easier. Once I knew them all off by heart, I'd challenge Charlie to a competition. He thinks he's so good at geography, but I'd show him.

  Trying to remember the fifty states didn't stop me thinking about crocs. Mom had showed me the walking trail on a map and some of it was close to a river. That meant one thing - crocs.

  Just as I was remembering Agro with her jaws wide open, Charlie piped up from the back seat, "You know, in the Second World War, nine hundred and eighty Japanese soldiers were killed by saltwater crocs in Burma."

  "Really?" I couldn't help sounding amazed. Charlie always came up with these incredible facts. Sometimes I thought he spent his nights looking up facts and figures while we slept. But the really weird thing was that he remembered everything. I wanted to ask all sorts of questions, like was it a mass attack? How many crocs to every soldier? Did anyone survive? But what I really wanted was to be able to know stuff, like he did. He was so good at remembering stuff and Mom and Dad and me weren't good at it at all. Now and again I still wondered if Charlie might be an alien.

  Dad pulled into the parking lot. There were only four cars. Two of them were white LandCruisers, probably hired like ours. One of them was covered in red dust. Dad stared at it. I knew what he was thinking; he wanted our four-wheel drive to look like that because when you were in the bush your four-wheel drive should be covered in red dust.

  But only four cars meant there were only a few people on the trail. That meant I was more likely to be eaten if there was a hungry croc lurking in the bush. But if Dad and Mom were in front, the croc would eat one of them. Yeah, that was a good plan, unless the croc came from behind. But that'd be okay if Charlie was walking behind me.

  We made our way to the beginning of the trail. My plan worked for about three and a half minutes. Mom and Dad went ahead and Charlie was right behind me. Dad was in the middle of the trail, which wasn't good. If a croc were in the bush, it'd get Mom. That was bad. Dad might be better to play cricket with, but he couldn't cook. If Mom died, Charlie and me would starve to death. We'd have to move in with Nanna.

  The problem was that Mom and Dad liked to read signs. We got to the first one and for ten seconds I pretended to be interested. It was about plants - plants were plants; who cared? Of course, I didn't really read it. Nothing could be that interesting when you're out in the middle of nowhere.

  Charlie didn't even pretend to read it. He jabbed me in the ribs and said, "Come on."

  What could I say? Charlie, this is really interesting; you should read it too. I had no choice. My life was in the hands of fate. I picked up a big sti
ck - just in case. I'd take out the croc's eyes first. If it couldn't see me, I might have a chance.

  Charlie spoke first. "This is boring; I wish we'd gone to the Gold Coast. We could've gone to all the theme parks."

  I couldn't help reminding him, "You said you wanted to see Kak-my-du before global warming wrecked it."

  He shrugged. "It's about as exciting as watching Dad's bald patch grow." He picked up a stone from the path. "Bet you I can throw further."

  I hated the way Charlie always thought up games he'd win. He was two and a half years older than me and if he couldn't throw a stone further than me there was something wrong. But I couldn't say, Yeah, of course you can throw further. You're so good at everything, Charlie. I want to be just like you when I grow up. If I got just the right stone, nice and round, and he got one that was too flat or too light or too heavy, I might be able to throw further than him.

  He beat me the first time, but then I beat him twice after that. He just picked up any old stone from the ground, whereas I searched for just the right one. The only problem was I had to do that without him realizing what I was doing. The next go, I threw my stone so far I couldn't see where it went.

  "Where did it go?" I asked Charlie.

  "In the river, I think."

  "River!" Through the trees, I saw a brown ribbon with a fishing boat and two guys in it. Real casual, I said, "Do you think we're safe ... I mean ... wouldn't crocs live in that river?"

  "Nah, they wouldn't let us walk here if it wasn't safe. And if there were crocs in that river, those two guys wouldn't be stupid enough to fish in such a small boat."

  "Yeah, I guess." Now, Charlie was smart, I knew that. And he was always logical. Too logical, really. He drove me up the wall with his logic. But still, I felt better. I found another stone and bet him that I could hit the log up ahead.

  He threw first. His stone didn't make it. Then I threw. "Got it," I yelled. My stone had hit right in the middle.

  "Did not," yelled Charlie.

  "Did so." I dropped my big stick and ran toward the log. Charlie was behind me. Then time slowed down. It was weird. First, I realized that the log didn't look exactly like a log. Then I saw a yellow eye open. Even then I didn't stop running toward it. My mind yelled to turn round and run back, but my legs just kept going forward. Then the croc's head jerked up. I screamed.

  "MAAAX!" Charlie yelled from behind me. "RUN!"

  That did it. I turned round and ran faster than I'd ever run in my life. I could hear the man-eating monster behind me. I caught up to Charlie. We ran side by side. I knew that I couldn't fall behind because the croc mightn't care that Charlie had more meat on him. It might be quite happy with just an afternoon snack.

  But just as I was thinking how good I was to keep up with Charlie, I tripped in a hole. I screamed as I fell flat on my face. I WAS DEAD.

  Then I felt Charlie pull me up by the arm. "Quick!" he screamed.

  I jumped up and ran.

  Charlie and me were side by side. We passed Mom and Dad.

  "RUN!" Charlie yelled at them. "THERE'S A CROC!"

  I didn't yell; I didn't have enough energy to do anything but run.

  We reached the parking lot, ran to the LandCruiser, jumped onto the hood and up onto the roof. We sat in the middle holding our knees. Far out! Where were Mom and Dad? Charlie and me might be orphans any minute.

  6. ANOTHER CROC CRUISE

  When Mom and Dad appeared they just walked casually toward us. I could tell they were trying not to smile; they mustn't have seen the croc. Dad clicked his key to unlock the car. I let Charlie climb down from the roof first. We both got into the car real fast.

  I thought Mom and Dad would cry and carry on because they came so close to losing their sons to a man-eating monster, but no ... I was wrong.

  Once they were in the car, Dad laughed and then Mom laughed.

  Dad turned round to us and said, "I wish I'd recorded that. I've never seen you two run so fast."

  What a psycho! I couldn't believe my ears. "I could've been eaten!" I screamed. "That croc should be shot."

  Dad laughed again. "Even if there was a croc ... it couldn't chase you very far on land."

  Charlie and me got real angry. We told him that it did chase us, but he still thought it was funny and Mom was already reading her book because obviously it was more exciting than the fact her favorite son had just been chased by a killer monster.

  My parents were insane. I could've been eaten but Dad was carrying on like it was nothing but a bit of excitement and Mom wasn't even interested.

  ***

  The next morning, I clenched my fists, stared Mom right in the eyes and screamed, "I'm not going!"

  "Max," whispered Mom, "get off the bed and put your shoes on."

  "You want me to die, don't you?" I thrust my finger out at her. "I know what you said when I went on camp. You told Chook's mom that your life was so easy when I was away."

  "Every mother says that when her son goes on camp."

  "I bet you don't when Charlie goes on camp."

  Charlie, who was standing in the doorway, sniggered.

  "Max, get your shoes on now and come with us, or else ..."

  "Or else what?"

  "Or else, from now on when we go on holidays, you'll be staying with your Aunt Avril."

  My mouth opened to say something, but nothing came out. Instead I jumped down off the bed, grabbed my trainers and wriggled my feet into them. I said very quietly, "If I do die, you'll regret it, you know."

  "Look, you can ask the people who run the East Alligator Cruise if anyone has died while they've been on the cruise. If they have, then you don't have to come."

  "Okay, I will," I said as we headed out the door to where Dad was waiting in the LandCruiser. "But if I die anyway, I want to be buried on the hill next to Pop and Uncle Jack."

  Mom opened the car door and said, "Write that down for me, please. You know how bad my memory is."

  I wrote it on a road map right over Kak-my-du National Park. But if a croc ate me, what would go in my coffin? I guessed that was Mom and Dad's problem.

  When we got out of Jabiru, I turned round to Charlie and said real casual, "Bet you I know more states of the USA than you do."

  For a second he looked worried. Then he said real forceful, "Bet you don't."

  "You go first."

  He did. I counted them on my fingers. He named thirty-three. I couldn't believe it. It had taken me ages to learn thirty-three. Of course he forgot the little ones, like Rhode Island and Delaware and even some big ones, like New Mexico and Montana.

  Then I named all fifty.

  "You cheat," he said, "you've memorized them."

  "Did not." I shouldn't have listed them in alphabetical order. That was mega-dumb.

  He said, "Bet you I can name more Canadian states than you."

  Charlie was smart, but he was also predictable.

  "They're called provinces, not states," I replied in my posh voice. "British Columbia, Alberta, Saskatchewan, Manitoba, Ontario, Quebec, New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, Prince Edward Island, and Newfoundland and Labrador."

  Charlie's mouth opened, but nothing came out.

  I laughed, but then I quickly stopped just in case he wanted to list countries in South America or Africa. I'd be lucky to name one. But he didn't. He leaned back and looked smug. I had a bad feeling. Just like when I'd taken off the handbrake of Dad's car to see what would happen. The car had rolled forward, that's what. It rolled into the wheelbarrow that was in front of the garage door. The car, the wheelbarrow and the garage door were all wrecked. It was that sort of bad feeling.

  He said, "If the boat sinks and a croc attacks me I'm going to stick my head right down its mouth. What're you going to do?"

  I didn't like the idea of being headless. But it would probably be worse having my arms and legs chomped off and being an armless and legless body floating just waiting to be finished off. "I don't know."

  "You don't want to do th
e death roll," he said. "The croc drowns you by rolling you under the water and you see your whole life go by in your head, just like it's a movie." He shook his head. "That'd be the worst."

  "How do you know your whole life goes by?"

  "That's what survivors of the death roll say. Some people have escaped after the croc has given them the death roll."

  "That means you have a chance to escape if you get the death roll. But if your head is chomped off, you're definitely dead."

  "Yeah, but we wouldn't be strong enough to fight off the croc. So I reckon getting it over with quick is best."

  "Yeah, maybe." My insides wobbled like jelly. I wished Charlie would be quiet. How could I even pretend to be brave when he was putting all this blood and guts stuff - my blood and guts - in my head?

  "We're here," Dad said as he parked the LandCruiser on the side of the road.

  There was no way I was getting on another boat that was in a river full of crocs. I'd run away if they tried to make me.

  A few minutes later, I asked a man in a khaki uniform, "Has anyone died while they've been on this cruise?" I glanced at the boat tied up to the jetty; it was small and it looked old, like it might have a few holes in it.

  The man laughed. "Not while I've been taking these cruises."

  "Oh," I said, trying not to sound disappointed. "That's good."

  "Wait a minute," he said, holding up the palm of his hand. "No, I'm wrong."

  "Yes?"

  "The year before I began here, a man died of a heart attack. Don't know what happened, exactly."

  "Great!" I said before I could stop myself. "Thanks." I leapt off the jetty and ran back through the crowd waiting to get on the boat. I felt like shouting, Yippee, I don't have to see any more crocs. I'm going to live till I'm old.

  I saw Mom and Dad. They were talking to a very tall man who wore his shorts up real high, and a woman. Charlie, Alyson, Tyson and Harry were near the river skimming stones. Were they following us? I went over to Mom and Dad. I'd have to whisper to Mom that a man did die. I'd tell her the man had a heart attack when he saw a couple of crocs swimming toward him. Then there'd be no way she'd make me go on that boat.