A Nurse for Daniel

by Marlene Bierworth

  “Nurse Gwen.” He had recognized her, but that was not the endearment she longed to hear.

  “Yes, how are you feeling?”

  “I have a headache.”

  “No doubt. Your head is what put you to bed,” Gwen said. “What do you remember of our time at the river?”

  His eyes clouded over and she began to fear she might have rushed him.

  “If you’re not ready to discuss it, we can wait. It’s enough that you are awake. I have broth on the stove. Are you hungry?”

  He nodded, and she headed for the door. “I’ll be right back. Just rest.”

  Five minutes later, she returned with the lukewarm liquid in a bowl. At least, it wouldn’t burn his lips.

  The fire had dwindled and nearly gone out while she’d slept on the job. It was another blunder about which she would probably hear from her employers.

  While she spooned the broth into his mouth, he stared openly at her, as if he were trying to place her in his mind. Had he forgotten the kiss, the growing affection that had built between them during her stay at the plantation? His mind was fragile, and she was eager to know its state upon awakening, but she would not press him.

  When he shook his head no, refusing another spoonful of broth, she placed the bowl to the side, removed the cloth napkin from under his chin, and dabbed at his mouth, and offered him a drink.

  “Can you drink this alone?”

  Again, he nodded. He took the tumbler.

  She hurried from the room with the dish and soiled napkin, bombarding the heavens anew with new prayers of thanksgiving on Daniel’s behalf all the while. A few moments later, she could not resist returning, so she crept quietly in and noted that his eyes were closed.

  Gwen resumed her position in the rocker, and he turned suddenly to face her. “Thank you. For the soup.”

  “You’re welcome,” Gwen said. “What can I do to make you more comfortable?”

  “The question is, what can I do to make you more comfortable? It’s a wonder your neck is not cricked with pain, sleeping in a rocking chair.”

  “You are my patient,” she said clumsily.

  “And you are a dedicated nurse. Did I ever tell you, that I’m grateful you came to the plantation?”

  She smiled, pleased he knew where he was. “Your parents have reason to question my presence on these grounds. I failed you miserably.”

  “How so?”

  “At the river,” she said hesitantly. “I left you writhing in pain on the shore, and chose to rescue Jake instead.”

  “Jake, my son? I have no doubt that you saved his life while I failed miserably. You are a strong woman, with unexpected talents.”

  “I learned to swim as a child. My mother always claimed I was part fish,” she said. “And, yes, Jake is safe. He’s sleeping with Mable in the row house.”

  She watched his face darken, and he turned away. “What’s the matter, Daniel? Tell me what’s going on in your head.”

  “A settling of the waves.” His voice was distant. “I remember all of it—the horror of the war, my childhood, and the cursed day little Frankie died and I was too preoccupied to even notice.”

  Gwen looked downcast. “And it happened again, today. You and I were…preoccupied, and we didn’t notice that Jake had stirred from his nap and wandered to the water.”

  “I swore it would never happen again.” Daniel bit hard on his bottom lip to silence the anger welling inside him. He lifted a hand and rubbed his forehead. “Rotten headache. I hope it never leaves and remains a constant reminder of the idiot I am.”

  “You are not an idiot!” Gwen said. “We made a mistake, but this time we were able to save the life—Jake is fine.”

  “You saved his life. I cowered, much like the sorry soldier I was.”

  “This is a lot for you to comprehend at once. Please, stop the condemnation and look at the positive outcome. Your son is safe, and you have regained your memory.”

  “It was better in the dark. I was beginning to like myself, but now I have to somehow blend my newfound character into the mold of the original Master Daniel McAlister, heir to this grand piece of landscape.”

  “And grand it is. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You can merge the new man with the old and start fresh like countless others who have known grief these last years, your parents included.”

  “They grieved for a son that doesn’t exist anymore. Too much has happened.” He grew silent, then blurted out, “I have debts to repay.”

  “Such as?”

  “Jake’s mother abandoned her child because she couldn’t afford to stay single. I need to right that.”

  “According to her note, she is married to a wealthy man and pleased that you are raising the boy. How can you right that?”

  “The child should have his natural parents. I should not have let her walk away.”

  Gwen was dumbfounded and wanted to cry, “What about us?” but the words stuck in her throat. Daniel had dismissed their kiss as a distraction that had cost him dearly. He’d never forgive her. She must leave this place. As soon as he was on his feet, she’d hand in her resignation to the McAlisters. Gwen was sure they’d be pleased to see her gone.

  “What are you thinking?” he asked. “You look near tears.”

  “My job is coming to an end.” Gwen stood. “I shall be sad to say goodbye, Daniel McAlister.” She took the lantern in her hand. “Good night. Yell out if you need anything.”

  He did not call after her.

  Gwen shut the door and felt as if the weight of the whole world lay on her shoulders. She collapsed against the wall while the tears spilled down her face. In the second bedroom, she laid down and drew a cover over herself. Sleep was a long time coming.

  The next morning, she awakened to find Daniel looming over her. She threw off the cover and nearly stumbled into his arms.

  “Whoa, girl. Didn’t mean to startle you.”

  “What are you doing out of bed?” she asked.

  “I was getting bedsores, and I was thirsty.”

  “You should have called. I’d have brought you a drink.”

  “You needed to sleep. You care far too deeply for someone so young and fragile.”

  “I am not fragile, sir,” she said, standing tall while ironing out the wrinkles in her apron with the palms of her hands.

  “Not in spirit, but I think you expect too much from yourself.”

  “Why—because I’m a woman? Is this the old Daniel McAlister talking, because I’m not liking it?”

  He stumbled with his words, as she barrelled past him. “I liked the new and revised version better. Go to your room, and I’ll bring breakfast. If your parents show up, they will surely send me packing for allowing you to be on your feet so soon.”

  Daniel grabbed her arm, and she turned to face him with misty eyes. “I’ve upset you,” he said. “I’m sorry. Are you afraid of losing your job?”

  “You are your old self again, and all the expectations of my employer are fulfilled. My services will not be required much longer. My leaving is inevitable.”

  “We kissed. I recall that very well.” Daniel’s voice was low and intimate.

  “And you kissed Jake’s mother, as well. Have you changed your mind about seeking her out?”

  “No,” he said, “but with you, it was different. I felt complete, like we were meant to be together for all time.” He fanned his fingers through his hair. “And now, in considering my son’s best interests, I feel a responsibility to his mother, whether I like it or not.”

  “She has a man, and you’re probably too late to play the dutiful suitor.”

  “I was taught to be a gentleman. My depression was deep while I was with her. It left me vulnerable, and yes, I did succumb to a passionate moment. I knew it was a mistake, and we never came together again. I had no idea about the boy, but his birth makes the obligation to his mother necessary.”

  “I’ve heard the story, Daniel,” said Gwen while trying to keep her tem
per in check. “Do as you please. I’ll be gone when you return from your obligation.”

  “Please, you must stay and care for Jake. He loves you and will miss you terribly.”

  “You can’t have everything, Daniel. I am a nurse. There are capable nannies here to care for Jake in your absence.” She shook off his hand. “Now, go back to bed. The doctor is coming by today, and he will give instructions as to the steps in your recovery.”

  Daniel’s parents arrived shortly after she’d taken the tray from his room. Gwen nodded in the direction of the bedroom. “Daniel is waiting for you,” she told them.

  Mrs. McAlister stifled a squeal and bolted for the door. “Thank you, Nurse Gwendolyn,” her husband said, following close behind her. He was a mannerly sort of gent, and lately, when he looked at her, she sensed him searching for something deep within. It was an odd feeling to experience her pulse quicken while in his presence, like God had a plan of which she was unaware, but of which she was a part of it. Gwen dismissed it as an absurdity.

  She began to wash the dishes, and when she picked up the towel to dry, she startled at the senior Mr. McAlister’s proximity.

  “Will you sit, Nurse Gwendolyn? We need to talk.”

  Her heart crumbled. This was it: He was about it say, “Thanks, but we don’t need you anymore. Our long-lost son has returned, and all is well on the home front.” She was obedient and did as she was told, perching herself awkwardly on the edge of the straight back kitchen chair, and waited.

  “My son’s memory has returned and we are grateful for your perseverance and belief that this miracle was possible,” Mr. McAlister stated.

  “God is able to do even more than that which we might hope for. I am pleased that Daniel’s mind has become whole again.”

  “Are you pleased about his absurd notion of chasing after the boy’s mother and doing the honorable thing?” Mr. McAlister asked. “He doesn’t believe she is wed and is willing to sacrifice his heart to take her in.”

  “That is none of my business, sir. If that’s what his heart is telling him to do then…”

  “We both know that is not what his heart is telling him to do. I’ve seen the looks that pass between you two. You care for my son, and he feels the same way about you. Why do you not order him to his senses?”

  Gwen chuckled at the picture that came to mind. “That would be a useless endeavor. He is a McAlister and does as he sees fit.”

  He inhaled and continued. “You have questioned my integrity with regard to Arthur’s mother. My only defence is that it was the way of things back then between slaves and masters. I have attempted to right my wrong with the boy since his mother’s passing, making sure the lad was happy with the work I assigned him. And believe it or not, I do not allow my eyes to wander too far from my wife. Age is a good teacher.”

  “I am pleased to hear that,” Gwen said, “but I think you are telling the wrong person. Your wife and sons surely suspect the adulterated union and have carried the shame in their hearts for an entire lifetime. Arthur and Daniel were childhood friends, and they deserve the right to call one another brother if they so desire. Your wife needs to hear your apology. There is a price to pay for our sins, sir, but seeking forgiveness will set you free from the bondage I see trapped behind your eyes.”

  “I did speak to the preacher after Daniel came home—I felt so lost. He’d been taken from me in a far worse way than death. The man of God advised me to take the same action.”

  “And will you move forward now and let the pain of the past rest in forgiveness?” Gwen asked.

  “I shall.” He pushed to his feet. “Right now, before I lose my nerve. Will you stand by to encourage me?”

  “That is not my place, sir. You need to do this alone.”

  “I knew you’d say that.” He moved toward the bedroom. “Pray for me then?”

  “I certainly shall pray for all of you.”

  For the next thirty minutes, no one stirred from the room. The air was hushed, and Gwen felt a peace and knew that, somehow, everything would be all right.

  When Mr. and Mrs. McAlister came out, the man nodded in Gwen’s direction, and contentment marked his countenance.

  The woman was the biggest surprise. She headed straight for Gwen and pulled her into an overwhelming embrace.

  While the woman held Gwen by her shoulders at arm’s length, the beaming Mrs. McAlister spoke. “Thank you for giving my family back to me. I’ve been rude and ungrateful. You are indeed an angel sent from God.”

  “Not an angel, ma’am. His willing servant is all I can claim.”

  “I’d like to meet my grandson. May I come by tomorrow?”

  Excitement filled Gwen to see the entire family reunited. Even the unexpected child was included in the healing. “Yes, please. Come to the cottage for tea around two. Jacob will be up from his nap and ready to play by then.”

  “I cannot talk my son out of this false sense of obligation he feels toward the child’s mother. He doesn’t love her, and he should leave her for the man who will cherish her.”

  “It is something Daniel will have to work through. You taught him to be honorable.”

  “To sacrifice one’s life for a marriage without love is too much to bear, and I told him so. For it is only after twenty-nine years that my heart swells with pride for the man I wed. I believe my latter years will be better than our beginnings.”

  “I am pleased to hear that. I shall pray for you all, even after I leave.”

  “I will not hear of it. I have an idea I want to run past my husband that I think you will enjoy. I’ll tell you about it tomorrow. Now, get some rest before you pick up the baby. My son is on his feet, and there is nothing we can say that will keep him in bed. Hopefully, the doctor will have some ideas.”

  “I’ll stay here until after the physician comes, then go back to my cottage and resume our regular routine – until Daniel returns with his wife. I’ll not stay past then.”

  “Oh, we shall see. You will like my idea, I can guarantee it, Nurse Gwendolyn.”

  Chapter 13

  The doctor came and went, declaring the patient fully recovered and leaving a remedy to help him with his headaches until they also subsided. When Gwen went into his room, Daniel was shuffling through his drawers and throwing clothes into a duffle bag.

  “What are you doing?” Gwen asked.

  “I must go to find Shannon and do what is necessary to settle the score with her.”

  “Why did you not feel this same urgency when she brought the child?” Gwen asked.

  “Suppose I was in shock, and without a memory, had nothing to offer a child or a wife.”

  “You said yourself that appreciation was all you felt for the woman who helped you through a depressing time. Gratitude is not something to base a marriage on.”

  “But a child is.” He took Gwen by the shoulders, and the intensity of his gaze exposed her heart. “I realize we have feelings for one another that have not yet been explored or discussed, but I hope you can see that I can’t just abandon Jake’s mother. What will he think of me when he grows up and fully understands his origin?”

  “But she was heading off to be married, Daniel! What part of that don’t you understand? She didn’t choose you or Jake.”

  “If I see her happily wed and not missing her son, I will return satisfied. Until then, I must settle my conscience.”

  “You are a stubborn man, Daniel McAlister, and she can have you for all I care.”

  He wiped away a tear that refused to stay hidden behind her angry eyes. “My dear, sweet Gwen—I fear I have hurt you, and don’t know how to make it right.”

  She pulled away. “No, you have taught me a valuable lesson. A woman with a career should stick to her goals and not be swayed by some handsome man that crosses her path. I will not make the same mistake twice.”

  Daniel grabbed her to him and brought his lips to hers with such force, she winced. He groaned. She broke free and slapped his face with the pal
m of her hand.

  “I will be retiring to my cottage now, and I will not be here when you return after discovering you are on a fool’s mission.” Gwen turned and ran from the house, out the front door, and across the path separating the two buildings. She pulled open the door, slammed it shut firmly behind her, and securely bolted it.

  Surely, she was a bigger fool than Daniel. In her room, Gwen cried herself to sleep.

  It was dark when she awoke. She fumbled with the kerosene lamp, and when she had lit it, made her way to the privy. Crickets and night creatures sang their nocturnal tunes from outside the window. Her face felt stiff with dried tears, and when she returned to the kitchen, she poured warm water from the reservoir into a basin for washing. This led to a need for food.

  Gwen was ravenous. She laughed at herself as she sat on the front rocker, staring at the stars while munching on cheese and bread. She finished off with a bowl of applesauce.

  She continued to sit and watch the low light flicker in the chalet next door. It eventually went out, and she was alone in her small part of the world. For hours, she recited scripture she’d memorized by heart and talked to the Creator of the Stars as if He were sitting in the chair beside her. He felt so close that when she whispered His name, His breath of renewal seemed to tingle on her face. By the time she’d crawled back under the covers, she’d made peace with her situation, and it all boiled down to trusting God with her future—one day at a time.

  There was no movement in Daniel’s cottage when she left for the row houses to pick up Jake. Mrs. McAlister was expecting to visit with her grandson, and Gwen would do all she could to help the two get to know one another. She should have checked on her patient, but she did not want to jeopardize the benefits she’d gained from her time with the Lord the night before. Peace was a fragile thing, and she knew that seeing Daniel would spark feelings she needed to forget.

  The child squealed and threw his arms around Gwen. His display of affection made her heart skip a beat. When had caring for the toddler turned to love? Their mutual excitement had grown as if Jake were her own son and she, his mother. It was not a helpful thought in light of his birth mother’s being brought back onto the stage.