by Ni-Ni Simone
My mother had been hanging around all week a little more than usual and I could tell that she wanted us to make up. We were not the type of family who apologized to one another or talked about our problems, we just woke up one morning, pretended our differences didn’t exist, and went on about our business.
“Hey, Zsa.” My mother knocked on my door. “Can I come in?”
“Yeah,” I said, lining my lips.
“Your mail came.” She handed me the monthly check I got from my father’s death benefits. “Are you getting ready to go somewhere?”
“Not now, maybe later when Malachi gets off of work.”
“Where does Malachi work?”
“With his dad. Construction.”
“Oh, that’s nice.”
I could tell she was stalling so I took the bait. “Why, Ma?”
“I was just wondering—if you wanted to go to the mall. Thought maybe we could catch up.”
“About what? Kenneth? I’m soooo not doing him.” I gave a disapproving laugh.
“No,” she said quickly, “we don’t have to talk about Kenneth. I just wanted to spend some time with you.”
I rolled my eyes to the ceiling; my mother and I were like oil and water inside of the house so God only knew how we would be gettin’ it poppin’ in the street. Before I could say no, my mother said, “Come on, it’ll be fun.”
I could look at her and I could tell that she was as nervous about this outing as I was, but I could also tell that she really wanted it to happen. “Where’s Hadiah? Is she coming?”
“No, she’s gone with Cousin Shake and Ms. Minnie.”
“So just me and you are going to the mall?”
“Yeah, I think that would be cool.”
“I don’t have any gas in my car.”
“Do you ever?” She laughed. “I’m going to grab my purse. Meet me outside, we’ll take my car.”
Before I left I dialed Asha’s number and when I couldn’t get her I called Courtney. “Two snaps up and a fruit loop,” Courtney said with a drag.
“Ill, what’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing really,” he said, “just that time of the month. I’m drinking some hot tea with my pinky sticking out now. Wassup with you?”
“I’m going to the mall with my mother.”
“Oh…my…Gawd, Diva. Did somebody die?”
“No. She just wants to spend time together.”
“Okay, so what you want me to do?”
“Call me in an hour, scream on the phone, and act as if it’s an emergency. This way I’ll have an excuse to leave and come to your crib.”
“Okay, Diva. Now I have to go, I have cramps.”
All I could do was laugh at Courtney. I swear he was a trip. Not long after I hung up with Courtney did my cell phone ring. It was my baby. “Hi, sweetie.”
“Wassup, ma?”
“Nothing. You on break?”
“Yeah, for a minute. I just called to tell you I was thinking about you.”
“I love you.”
“You better love me. I’ll see you when I get off.” And he hung up. Every time I heard Malachi’s voice, butterflies filled my stomach. I never imagined anything would be like this. My only regret was that Ameen wouldn’t leave me alone. He hadn’t done any drive-bys lately but he kept calling me constantly.
I walked outside and got in my mother’s red Explorer. The entire car ride was in silence and the only thing that filled the air was the music playing. Once we arrived we parked in front of H&M’s entrance, went inside, and started combing the aisles.
“So, Zsa,” my mother said, “how’s school?”
I stared at her for a moment. I knew that’s not what she really wanted to ask me so I said, “I was failing, so I dropped out. Who needs school?” I picked up a sweater, looked it over, and put it back. “All I need really,” I said, picking up a blouse, “is a good man to take care of me.”
My mother squinted her eyes. “You want me to pop you now or when I get a better angle?”
“Whatever suits you, I’ve taken a lot worse…from you.”
My mother rubbed her temples, “You really hate me, don’t you? Nothing I say, do, or even think is good enough for you.”
I sighed. “Ma, I don’t hate you, I just wish things were different.”
“I’m trying, Zsa-Zsa. You have to give me credit for something here.”
Don’t ask me why but I felt bad. “Ma, it’s cool. Let’s just enjoy our time here. I don’t see anything in this store and I’m kinda hungry. You wanna go to the food court?”
“Yeah.” She smiled. “I would like that.”
As we walked toward the food court, I caught a few glances of my mother in the stores’ windows and realized how much we resembled. I wondered if she thought the same thing. “You know,” she said, as we walked into Applebee’s, “you look just like me.”
“I know.” I gave her a dimpled smile. “I was just thinking the same thing.”
She laughed. “See, if we spend enough time together I’ll be able to read your thoughts all the time.”
“Umm-hmm.” I laughed. “So what am I thinking now?”
“That that boy over there is cute.” She pointed. “I wonder if he has a daddy.”
I cracked up. I couldn’t help it. “Ma, stop playing,” I said as the hostess walked over and showed us to our booth. The waitress came quickly, we ordered our food, and soon after it arrived.
My mother took a bite of her cheeseburger. “So, Zsa, what’s up with you and Malachi?”
There’s no way anyone could mention Malachi’s name without my smiling or feeling butterflies in my belly. “It’s cool,” I said as calmly as possible, without blushing too much.
“Cool?” My mother frowned. “Zsa, he’s at the house almost every day. You light up when he’s around and it’s simply cool?”
“Alright, Ma,” I said cautiously, “I’m crazy about him. He’s kind, he’s smart, and I love him.”
“He doesn’t put his hands on you, does he?”
“No.” I frowned.
“You would tell me if he did?”
“Ma, he doesn’t, okay?”
“Okay. Now, do we need to have the discussion about safe sex, or better yet abstinence?”
“Ma, would you chill? I got this.”
“So”—my mother paused—“when would be a good time to talk about Kenneth?”
“Never. He doesn’t exist to me.” I started eating my salad.
“What about me?” She pointed to her chest.
“See him on the creep, but he can’t live with us.”
“Maybe we should change the subject,” she said, and before I could respond she continued on. “Guess who called me last night?”
“Who?”
“Aunt Nona and Uncle Easy. They said they wanted to come up for Thanksgiving.”
“Thanksgiving? Ma, please.” I folded my hands in prayer position. “I can’t take those people. The last time they were here all they did was argue.”
“But they’re family, and when my mother passed they raised my brothers and sister as if we were their own. We wanted for nothing, so I can’t tell them no. Plus they are fun to be around.”
“But Ma, the last Thanksgiving they were here, Cousin Shake and Uncle Easy were riding up and down the block on a two-seater bike.”
“So?”
“Ma”—I snapped my fingers—“two grown men on a bike and in the cold. Don’t that seem a little suspect to you?”
She laughed. “Zsa-Zsa, behave.”
“And you know Uncle Easy’s kids are not right in the head. Something is very wrong with them.”
My mother cracked up. “They are normal children and your cousins.”
I laughed so loud I screamed. “Outside of Seven, Toi, and Man-Man, oh and the homework police, I don’t have any cousins.”
“You are a pure mess.” My mother laughed so hard she cried.
Before long, hours had passed and we were havin
g a blast. By the time we got back home it was evening. “Ma,” I said before I got out of her car.
“Yes.”
“You kinda cool.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yeah,” I said as my phone rang. “You ai’ight…. Hello,” I answered without looking at the caller ID.
“Deeeeeeeeeeeee-vaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Courtney screamed. “Help me! I need you to leave the mall from being with your mama and come help a queen, I mean a king, out.”
My ear had a headache. I could get no words to come out of my mouth.
“Is everything okay?” my mother asked, concerned.
“Yeah, Ma.” I kissed her on the cheek as I got out the car and hung up on a screaming Courtney. “Everything is fine.”
11
Will this last for one night or do I have you for a lifetime?
—XSCAPE, “AM I DREAMIN’”
“Zsa,” Ameen screamed into my voice mail as I listened to my phone messages. I was preparing to go to Malachi’s house, so I stood in front of the mirror and entertained myself by listening to Ameen’s begging. “You’re really playing me, huh?”
“Yup,” I said as if he could hear me and I were not listening to a prerecorded message. “You got it.”
“Ai’ight, when I see you I’ma mess you up,” the message continued.
“Whatever.”
“Zsa.” Ameen called my name as if I were really going to answer. This cat had to be crazy; surely he knew he was talking to a machine. “Ai’ight, I see what I’ma have to do for you,” he carried on.
“What?” I said to Ameen’s message. “Get lost?”
“Don’t worry, I’ll be seeing about you again.”
“I’m sure, Ameen.” And the machine moved on to the next crazy message he’d left me. I had at least three more all saying the same thing and the last one saying he just wanted to talk to me because he loved me.
I rolled my eyes to the ceiling. Ameen didn’t appreciate me when he had me, so there was no need for him to try to cupcake with me now. Anywho, I decided that I didn’t like the way my lavender sweater was fitting me so I changed into my pink V-neck long-sleeve T-shirt with NAME BRAND PRINCESS written in rhinestones across the breasts. And then I looked at my Ck jeans and felt like they were played so I changed into a pair of Deréon jeans, and Coach boots. I slid on my rhinestone jewelry, made sure the ring I wore on the necklace around my neck was in place, and was now satisfied that I was beyond cute.
I cut my voice mail off, tossed my phone in my pink Coach bag, picked up my keys, and was on my way to see my baby.
“Where are you going, looking all cute?” my mother asked me as she and Hadiah sat in the living room watching a movie.
“To see Malachi,” Hadiah said. “Tell his brother, Matthew, I said hi.”
“Hadiah, please.”
“See you later, Zsa.” My mother laughed.
“Okay,” Cousin Shake said, “I like Malory, but don’t let me have to come and get you, ’cause I will come and drag you out of that house if you’re not home before the streetlights come on.”
I didn’t even dignify that with a response, especially since it was already five o’clock in the evening and the streetlights were already on. I simply waved and continued on about my business. Once I got in the car I peeked in the mirror and checked my makeup one last time. I put on a little more gloss and then I pulled off down the street.
Malachi didn’t live too far from me, so I was at his house in no time. For some reason I was nervous. I mean, I knew his parents and they knew me, but still I didn’t know how they would receive me, being as they were all so close to Staci. I rang the bell and tapped the heels of my boots nervously. A few minutes later Malachi was opening the door.
“Damn, girl.” He looked me over. “You got a man? ’Cause I’m sayin’ you just my type.”
Why the heck am I cheesin’ so hard? “What does my man have to do with me and you?”
“That’s what I’m sayin’.” Malachi’s ten-year-old brother Matthew came to the door and said, “What’s good with you?”
“Back up, Matt,” Malachi said.
“I’m sayin’ is this your girl or can I get up on her?”
I had to laugh. This was too much. Matthew was the spitting image of Malachi when he was his age. “Little boy,” I said, “please.”
“So wassup with your sister, then?” Matthew said, giving up.
“Ma,” Malachi said as we walked in the house, “get your son.”
“He’s just admiring a beautiful woman,” said Malachi’s dad, who was just as handsome as his sons.
“Senior,” Malachi’s mother, Ms. Karen who resembled Angela Bassett, said, “stop embarrassing the girl. Come here, Zsa-Zsa, and give me a hug. I haven’t seen you since you were a little girl.”
I walked over to Ms. Karen and gave her a hug. “You are really a beautiful young woman.” She looked at Malachi. “Did you ever tell Jazmyn I said hello?”
“Yeah, Ma.”
“You better. Now, Zsa-Zsa, how is my son treating you? Do you know he never stopped talking about you over the years?”
“Ai’ight, Ma,” Malachi said.
“I swear I was so glad Senior wanted to relocate back up this way I didn’t know what to do.”
“Ma, don’t you all have a weekend retreat you’re going on?” Malachi looked at his watch. “You’re going to be late.”
“Junior,” Ms. Karen said, calling Malachi by the nickname he only allowed her to call him. “Just wait a minute. I need to take a picture of you two before we go. I still have one when you two were little. I need another one.”
“Ma.” Malachi sighed.
“Boy,” she said, “what did I tell you?”
“Ai’ight, Ma.” He walked over to me, placed his arms around my waist, and we posed for the photo.
“Nice,” Ms. Karen said in approval. “Very nice. Okay we have to go now. You know my rules, Malachi. I don’t mind Zsa-Zsa but no one else and no overnight guests.”
“Bye, Ma. See y’all later,” Malachi said, grabbing me by my hand.
“Okay, okay.” She smiled at me. “It’s really nice seeing you again, Zsa-Zsa.”
“You too, Ms. Karen. You too.”
“Your mother is really sweet.” I smiled at my baby as we entered his room. Malachi’s room was in the basement of his house. It was a typical male’s room, a full-size black wooden platform bed, basketball posters on the wall, Sports Illustrated models on the back of his door, and a pipe running through the middle of the floor from the ceiling.
I was so nervous that I kept playing with the pole in the middle of his room.
“You like the pole?” he asked, reaching for the stereo remote, and a few seconds later an old Luther Vandross classic filled the room.
I laughed. “Funny.”
“Come over here.”
“In a minute,” I said, walking around his room and poking through some of his things.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
I couldn’t say “trying not to be nervous,” so I said, “Just looking around.” I took the top off of a shoe box on his dresser.
“Leave that alone.” He rose from his bed.
“What?” I gave him a one-sided smile. “What, you wanna do something?”
“All I know is that if you open that box it’s gon’ be a misunderstanding.”
“What, you got some nasty pictures in here of some chicks? Don’t let me run across Staci in here naked.” I started combing through the box and found a crumpled and old piece of paper. I pulled the paper from the box and began to unfold it.
“Zsa.” He laughed, reaching for the paper. “Stop playing. Now give it here.” He reached for the paper again.
I was laughing so hard that I swear slob was due to fall out of my mouth. “I’m not giving it to you.”
He reached for it again. “Give it here,” he said playfully.
I quickly stuffed it down my shirt and in my
bra. “Now you’re really not getting it.”
Malachi looked at me like I had lost my mind. “I hadn’t planned on going in there this early in the evening but I will.” He gave me a devilish grin.
“Don’t be fresh. Now let me read it. Unless, of course we’re keeping secrets.”
“Ai’ight.” He laid back on the bed. “Go ’head, read it. But remember that the next time we’re in your room.”
“Don’t even try the reverse psych on me. Not falling for it.” I pulled the note from my shirt and began to read it. “You wanna be my girl? Circle yes or no.” Immediately I stopped laughing and tears filled my eyes. “You still have this?”
“Yeah,” he said, looking at me as tears slid down my cheeks. I was so stupid, why was I crying? I crawled on his bed and sat next to him. “I don’t believe you still have this.”
“It’s corny, I know. But it means something to me.” He kissed the tears on my cheeks. “Don’t cry, ma. ’Cause when I ask you to marry me, I’ma write that note on the back of this one.”
“And I’ma circle no.”
Malachi turned over and started kissing me. “You gon’ circle no?” He looked me dead in the eyes. “Huh?”
I wished I could lie, but I couldn’t. “I could never tell you no.”
“I didn’t think so,” he said as we kissed again, and just as I wrapped my arms around his neck my phone started ringing. “Don’t answer that,” he said.
“It could be my mother or my sister, though.” I rose from the bed and pulled my phone from my purse. It was Ameen, so I sent him to voice mail. No sooner than I tossed the phone back into my purse did the phone ring again. “Damn.” It was Ameen again. I sent him to voice mail, and the phone started ringing all over again. This time I cut the phone off.
“Who was that?” Malachi looked at me suspiciously.
“Asha,” I said quickly.
“You lying to me now?”
“Alright, it was Ameen.”
“Ameen?” He paused. “He’s still calling you?”
“Yeah.”
“Now, you know if that was Staci calling me you would be having a fit.”