Shooting Eros - The Emuna Chronicles: Complete Boxset: Books 1 - 3

by Benjamin Laskin

  “I don’t like your tone.”

  Gideon smiled. “I’ll take that as a yes. Come on. There’s a Starbucks a few blocks from here.”

  He started walking and Malkah hesitatingly followed his lead. “I don’t like Starbucks,” she grumbled.

  “Would you rather go to a bar?”

  “I like bars even less.”

  “What do you like?”

  “Being left alone,” she answered.

  “Yeah, well, me too.”

  “I don’t believe you.”

  Gideon smiled and shook his head. “Of course, you don’t.”

  “Boy,” Virgil said, “what’s eating her?”

  “Insecurity Yetzer, most likely,” I said.

  We had followed Malkah from work to the bakeshop and over to the university.

  “What does she have to be insecure about? She’s beautiful.”

  “It’s more common than you’d think,” I said. “She’s undoubtedly known a lot of good-looking guys in her life, but most all of them probably turned out to be jerks.”

  “Is this guy another one?”

  “I don’t know. We’ll have to look up his M-record.”

  “He looks familiar.”

  “Now that you mention it, he does, doesn’t he?”

  “Hmm,” Virgil mused. “Yeah, I’m sure we’ve seen him before.”

  I gave Gideon Baer a closer inspection. A stiff breeze puffed out his jacket and I glimpsed his shoulder-holstered gun. “Got it!” I said. “Very interesting…”

  “Tell me,” Virgil said excitedly.

  “He’s the guy who took out those two thugs with his bicycle, remember?”

  Virgil took another look. “Oh…yeah. You’re right. That is him. Good eye, Kohai!”

  “The plot thickens.”

  “What are the odds that these two would meet here?” Virgil said, catching my drift.

  “Exactly.”

  “But they aren’t off to a very good start. She’s a cold fish.”

  “I think she’s just playing with him. But he’s hanging in there.”

  “We could speed things along,” Virgil said, withdrawing an arrow from his quiver.

  “No, Virge. We can’t chance it. What if our suspicions are right and Malkah Stern is the Swerver? We don’t want to disqualify her.”

  Virgil returned the arrow to its quiver. “I get it,” he said, “but time is running out. With a couple of lunkhearts like these two, this could turn into a multi-year affair. And we don’t have that kind of time.”

  “I know, but we have no choice at this point.”

  “What are you looking for?” Virgil asked, noting my roaming eyes.

  “Anteros.”

  Virgil drew up, alert and vigilant. He snapped his arm and dropped a throwing knife down his sleeve into his hand. “Did you see something?”

  “No, but we have to figure that if we are curious about Malkah Stern, then so is Anteros. If Anteros isn’t one step ahead of us, they are only a half a step behind.”

  “Yeah, but how do they do it? Do you think they have someone on the inside?”

  “I hate to think so,” I said, “but it’s the best explanation.”

  “Who then? One of the judges? Sett? Grace, even?”

  “Dunno, but until we find out we had better keep our mouths shut. If anyone suspects that something is in the works with Malkah Stern, they will surely take her down.”

  “You mean kill her?” Virgil said, appalled.

  “If they have to. But, as we’ve seen, they have many ways to sabotage her without going to that extreme.”

  “Isn’t there anything we can do?” Virgil asked, frustrated by our helplessness.

  “Not as far as their relationship goes. For now, all we can do is try to make sure no one tampers with her.”

  “You mean watch her around the clock?” Virgil said. “It was hard enough to give the Academy the slip just to come here with you today.”

  “I know, but we have to do our best. We’ll report our findings to the captains. Maybe they’ll have some ideas. Let’s go.”

  “But don’t you want to know how this turns out?”

  “We can catch it on replay when we review their M-records. I’m very curious to see who this guy is.”

  Just then Malkah Stern exclaimed, “Is that a gun under your jacket!”

  Virgil chuckled. “This is going to be fun.”

  14

  Digitus Impudicus

  The five judges sat on a set of bleachers before a tall, chain-link fence, and stretching beyond the fence, an open soccer field. Perched three rows behind the judges Commander Sett and Grace looked on. Between the bleachers and the fence stood Professor Hermes in his white lab coat. Flanking the professor, but on the other side of the fence, waited Captain Perseus and Lieutenant Jason in full commando dress.

  “I don’t see anything, Professor,” Judge Minos groused.

  Hermes pointed at the sky. A moment later came the thumping whack of helicopter blades, followed by two choppers swinging into view from above the surrounding woods. A large cage dangled beneath each of the copters. Atop the cages spiraled flashing, multicolored orbs of light.

  The helicopters swooped down over the field and hovered as they lowered the stockades to the ground. The copters released the cages and sped off. As soon as the cages touched ground, cupid engineers trained a score of special searchlights onto the field.

  “Holy shit!” Judge Busiris exclaimed. “Are those fear demons?”

  In answer to the judge’s question, a hideous racket ruptured the afternoon air with a ghastly mix of roars, howls, and screeching yetzer fury.

  The judges instinctively scooted back on their benches.

  “Are you insane?” Judge Laban cried. “How the hell did those monsters get up here!”

  Professor Hermes smiled reassuringly and held up his arms to settle the frightened judges. “Please, Your Honors, calm down. Everything is quite under control.”

  Judge Pelops said, “And what if you screw up, you eggheaded lunatic? Those things will have us all for lunch!”

  “Your Honors,” Hermes said. “I assure you that we have taken every precaution. See all these lights bathing the field? They simulate the wavelengths on Earth. If we shut them off, our celestial light will fry the fear demons on the spot. Also, as you can see, we have one hundred cupid soldiers stationed all around the field, and behind them heavy artillery. We have helicopters on stand by, and look here, this fence is ionized. See…?”

  The professor took a pen from his lab coat and tossed it against the fence. It burst into flames.

  “You are perfectly safe,” Hermes guaranteed.

  The magistrates turned to Judge Minos for a reaction. He held up his hand in reassurance, and the other judges dutifully collected themselves.

  “Good, good,” Professor Hermes said. “Now, I’ll get right to it. As you know, we have many fine guns in our arsenal, but we have long lacked one weapon that can be used against any and all fear demons. This has meant that our soldiers have had to go into the field with an array of heavy, cumbersome firearms because they never knew what type of fear demon they may have to battle. Well, I am pleased to report that my team and I have developed a new weapon, the use of which should prove a real game changer. It is an all-purpose demon disintegrator. I call it the Hermes Spleen Gun.”

  The professor paused for a reaction. He felt certain that his announcement would elicit whispers of approval, perhaps even a smattering of applause, but he got only dead air.

  Hermes frowned and then continued. “The Hermes Spleen Gun uses the highly potent and deadly toxin from a Spleen Demon. My lab has, after much trouble, and regrettably, a few lost lives, worked the toxin into a lethal gel, encapsulated by a special, quick disbanding outer polymer shell. Within seconds of entering a fear demon, the bullet breaks down releasing the toxin. The substance is so powerful that the demon is completely immobilized, and soon after that…well, you will see for you
rselves, gentlemen.”

  Professor Hermes turned to the two commandos on the other side of the fence. “You men ready?”

  Captain Perseus and Lieutenant Jason nodded and displayed their weapons.

  “Currently, we have two models,” Hermes continued, readdressing the judges. “Captain Perseus is holding the Semi-automatic Hermes Spleen Rifle, which is the more accurate weapon, and better for longer distances. It can fire thirty rounds per magazine. Lieutenant Jason has the handgun version. Each magazine holds ten rounds.

  “Professor,” Judge Busiris said, “what about the danger that one of these bullets might miss and hit one of our own soldiers?”

  “That is a concern, of course,” Hermes replied, “which is why we went to the extra effort of developing the bullet instead of going the much simpler route of a spray or gas. But we believe with a little extra training, such accidents can be avoided.”

  Laban said, “Don’t some of these demon buggers have very thick or bony hides? Won’t these bullets just bounce right off of them?”

  “Excellent question,” Hermes said. “We took this into consideration. If the fear demon possesses an exterior too hard for the bullet to penetrate, it won’t matter because the pellet’s special polymer shell has been designed to crack open upon hitting such an object, thereby leaking its contents onto the surface of the demon. The acid of the Spleen Demon is so potent, it will eat right through the beast’s armor, and so achieve the same result, though it will take a little longer.”

  “Let’s get on with the show, Professor,” Minos ordered.

  “Right, sure.” Hermes called to the two soldiers, “Fire ‘em up, boys!”

  Perseus and the lieutenant released the guns’ safeties, then flicked a switch on the side of the guns, initiating a high-pitched whine.

  Hermes explained: “The guns require twenty seconds to heat the toxin’s molecules inside the bullets. You can see a shuffling light run up and down the barrel of the guns. It flashes white, then blue, then red, and then green for go. … See that? They’re ready. The guns only have to go through this once per magazine, or if it hasn’t been fired for more than ten minutes.”

  The professor turned and withdrew a remote control from his white coat. He nodded to the two commandos to begin their approach on the cages. The mere sight of the advancing cupid commandos stirred the fear demons into a howling, bloodthirsty frenzy. The cages bounced and rattled, and almost tipped over.

  When Perseus and Jason were within shooting range of the cages, Hermes pushed a button on the remote. The bars on the cages dropped open and six fuming demons charged out, each a different species.

  The first blitzing out the gates were the two fastest of the yetzers, a hopping, saurian, wart-covered and toad-like Victim Yetzer, and a horned, fatheaded, yellow-striped and saber-toothed Idol Yetzer. The two yetzers tore thundering and snarling down the field towards commandos Perseus and Jason.

  The soldiers calmly held their fire until the monsters were a mere fifty feet away, and then they let them have it. They each shot once, Perseus hitting the Victim Yetzer in the chest, and Jason nailing the Idol Yetzer in its big head. The yetzers rushed on, seemingly unscathed. Then, after a few more yards, the yetzers stumbled and began to writhe and howl on the ground.

  Captain Volk, Virgil, and I were standing on the sidelines just behind a row of soldiers. We were cloaking, and so invisible to the other cupids. We watched in curiosity as greenish vapors seeped out through every orifice of the struggling yetzers, and then in another few seconds we saw them disintegrate before our eyes. It was gross as hell and stank as bad as it looked.

  The four remaining yetzers paid no heed to their fellow monstrosities, and stampeded on. Perseus knelt, aimed, and fired twice, hitting a Grass-is-Greener Yetzer just above its third eye, and a bristly, hulking, spike-backed Shallow Yetzer square in the chest. Both yetzers stumbled and then collapsed in agony, the venom from the Spleen Yetzer dissolving them from the inside out. They flopped around on the ground like gasping fish, and then sizzled into a rancid smelling paste.

  Lieutenant Jason, heedless to the danger posed by either the traipsing, snorting, hog-faced, ten-legged Ingrate Yetzer, or the brawny, ferocious and fanged Mocking Yetzer that were headed straight for him, whooped and hollered and rushed to meet them.

  He catapulted himself onto the mangy back of the Mocking Yetzer, stuck his gun into the beast’s ear, and shot.

  “No, you idiot!” Hermes cried. “That’s too close!”

  The bullet passed right through the Mocking Yetzer’s head and struck a hapless cupid soldier on the sidelines. The soldier cried out in wide-eyed disbelief. Seconds later, he was a shovelful of goop.

  Dazed, but otherwise unhurt, the Mocking Yetzer reached behind and snatched Lieutenant Jason from his back. He banged him mercilessly on the ground, and then flung him smashing into a throng of soldiers on the sidelines, sending them sprawling.

  Captain Perseus shot the powerful Mocking Yetzer twice, once in the thigh, and again in the stomach. The beast howled, keeled over backwards, and writhed in its own pool of tar, and died.

  This left the snorting, swinish Ingrate Yetzer. Due to its ten legs, the Ingrate Yetzer moved in mincing steps and was slow. Although ugly as sin, on the surface it looked relatively innocuous, especially compared to most other yetzers.

  But there was no such thing as a harmless yetzer. All yetzers were extremely deadly, and in the case of the Ingrate Yetzer, its danger laid in a numbing nerve gas that could be expelled from both ends, and its razor-sharp hoofs. The gas remained potent for some twenty feet before it dissipated. If inhaled, a cupid soldier was instantly immobilized. The Ingrate Yetzer then needed only to kick or stomp on him with its sharp hoofs. Having ten of them, a stunned cupid soldier could be dismembered and beheaded in an instant.

  Instead of charging Perseus, the Ingrate Yetzer broke for the sidelines, right towards us and the soldiers we were standing behind. The soldiers, aware of the yetzers gas range, fled. One of them bolted straight into Captain Volk, which was like hitting an oak tree. The soldier slumped to the ground unconscious. Virgil and I grabbed the cupid by the legs and dragged him to safety, which, due to our invisibility, must have looked pretty strange to anyone who might have picked it out from the mayhem.

  Perseus aimed and fired, hitting the yetzer in its thick neck. First one leg buckled, then a second, then a third. It kept coming. Finally, the remaining legs could not withstand the beast’s great weight. Snorting feverishly, the yetzer collapsed to the ground and perished into a sickening pool of black glop.

  Perseus turned to the judges and held his rifle over his head in victory. Jason, battered and smarting, stuck some fresh chew into his mouth, and then hobbled across the field to retrieve his dropped gun. After picking it up, the lieutenant limped over to stand beside Perseus. He waved his gun and flashed a wincing smile.

  “Well,” Hermes said, turning to the judges, “what do you think?”

  Judge Minos said, “And you say it works on all fear demons?”

  “We believe so, Your Honor. We’ve tested it on twenty-seven different fear demons, and the results were all the same.”

  “Gentlemen?” Minos said questioningly to the others.

  The judges looked at one another, nodded, and gave their grunting approval.

  “Commander Sett?” Minos said. “How about you? Are you satisfied?”

  “It’s a good start, but there are times when we come up against swarms of these bastards. We need something that can fire on automatic. Also, we need another delivery system for this stuff, something that can be used in hand-to-hand combat.”

  “Agreed,” Hermes said. “As for something geared towards close quarters, such as Lieutenant Jason erringly found himself in, we are close to completing some prototypes. The one showing the most promise is a switchblade, which upon opening coats a special polymer blade with the venom. We hope to perfect the weapon soon.”

  “Good,” Sett said. “Th
ese spleen shooters ought to scare the piss out of Anteros too.”

  Upon hearing the mention of Anteros, Judge Pelops moaned, “Oh, for Eros’ sake, not again. I thought we settled this.”

  “Quite the contrary, Judge,” Sett said. “I have since witnessed with my own eyes what Madam Grace here spoke of earlier.”

  He yanked the sleeve of his shirt over his shoulder and showed them the wound he had received from an Anteros photon rifle.

  “Anteros is working with the fear demons, and they are far more prepared than you could dare to imagine. And I want to know what you plan to do about it.”

  Judge Danaos said crossly, “We don’t like your tone, Commander.”

  “With all due respect, Judge, what none of you seem to like is the truth.”

  Sett’s comment unleashed a caterwauling of indignation from the judges, forcing Judge Minos to repeatedly stamp his walking cane on the bleacher.

  “Here, here,” Minos said. “Commander Sett, have you forgotten who you are talking to? You are out of order!”

  “No,” Sett said, rising. “I’m out of here. You call me when you decide to get serious.”

  He hopped off the bleachers and began to stroll away. Grace, who had been sitting quietly beside him, smiled.

  “Commander!” Minos called after him. “You get back here right now!”

  Sett kept walking, his back to the judges. He replied with a gesture—digitus impudicus—the conversation-ending middle-finger salute.

  15

  The Thirty-six

  Virgil and I turned to one another in astonishment, and then to Captain Volk, who was grinning from ear-to-ear.

  “Judge Minos,” Danaos puled, scandalized and stuttering. “Did-did you see that? We can’t have that. I move…I move we dismiss Commander Sett immediately!”

  “And replace him with who?” the portly Pelops said, dubious. He cheeked up to one side and, like an annotation, farted. Judge Busiris grimaced, shook his head in disgust, and scooted a safer distance away from the gaseous porker.