A Time for Faith

by Busboom, Leah

  When I pick Sofie up at school, Rae gives me the cool shoulder that she’s given me all week. She’s pleasant in a professional way, no cute grins or playful winks. With the zoo trip delayed, when am I going to fix the relationship with her? My heart sinks knowing I can’t execute the “groveling” plan on Saturday.

  Sofie chatters nonstop about the zoo visit on the ride home, adding to my feelings of frustration and guilt. I decide to tell her about Vicki backing out once we’re home rather than risk a tantrum in the car, so I change the subject. “What was your art project today?”

  I watch in the rearview mirror, and Sofie smiles. “We made a caterpillar. I can bring him home on Monday. He’s green with yellow legs.”

  “Wow, he sounds cute.”

  Sofie giggles. “Caterpillars aren’t cute, Daddy.” She goes on to tell me all the facts she learned about caterpillars. My heart swells with pride as to how smart and engaged in learning she is.

  After the dinner plates are empty and we’re still sitting at the table together, I finally get the nerve to tell Sofie the bad news. “Your mom called this afternoon and she’s not going to be able to go to the zoo on Saturday.”

  Sofie’s face crumples. “Why not?” she wails.

  “Mommy has to go on a trip for her job. She’s sorry and she’ll take you to the zoo another time.” I’m not doing a particularly good job at selling this to my daughter because my heart isn’t in it.

  Tears stream down her face. “I want to see the baby hippos,” she says in a disappointed high-pitched voice. Her lips tremble and she sulks. “They’ll be grown up if we can’t go!”

  She has a good point—I don’t want those baby hippos to be full grown the next time she sees them. I cave faster than you can say hippopotamus after I see the tears on my daughter’s face. “How about you and I go to the zoo on Saturday instead?”

  She sniffles and wipes her eyes, carefully considering my suggestion. “Okay,” she says in a small voice.

  “I heard they just had some baby gorillas a few months ago.”

  Her eyes go wide, and she claps with excitement, her tears drying instantly. “Yay! Baby gorillas.” It’s amazing how quickly kids flit from emotion to emotion.

  We clear the dishes together while Sofie sings a song about baby gorillas, all disappointment about Vicki backing out forgotten. But I haven’t forgotten it, and I grapple internally with how to handle future visit requests from Mommy. Rae and Pastor Tim both suggested that to move on, I need to forgive Vicki. But, when she does something like this, it’s difficult to do so.

  After Sofie is tucked snugly into bed, a Plan B for the groveling with Rae hits me like a switch going on in my head. When God closes a door, he opens a window.

  A smile crosses my face as I swipe my cell phone and place a call. “June, how are you?”

  “Doing well, Noah. How can I help you?”

  “Would you and Frank like to take your granddaughter to the Denver Zoo tomorrow? Sofie and I are going, and I thought the girls could meet each other.”

  June laughs. “What a lovely plan! When should we meet you there?”

  “Actually, I need you to invite someone else to go along with you . . .”

  My Plan B evolves to groveling plus cute baby gorillas. Hope it works.

  ~*~

  Sofie is a bundle of energy and excitement the next morning on the drive over to Denver. We stop and have pancakes at her favorite breakfast restaurant. I’m really pulling out all the stops to make this trip special for her. The disappointment of Vicki backing out of the excursion is forgotten. I don’t know what parenting books would say about how I handled the situation, but if my child is happy, I’m happy.

  We’re blessed with a warm spring day—the blue sky is stunning against the snow-capped mountains and the surrounding valleys that are just turning green. God’s paintbrush has painted a breathtaking landscape.

  The zoo isn’t busy when we arrive. I scan the check-in area for Frank and June but don’t see them yet. I dawdle at our designated meeting place by picking up the various zoo brochures under the pretense of reading them. Sofie’s occupied watching two kids and their mom pay their entrance fees. I wonder if that scene highlights the fact that her mom isn’t with us.

  “Noah!”

  I turn at the familiar voice. June, Frank, and the granddaughter approach. June waves while the granddaughter skips beside the other member of their group. My heart leaps at how beautiful Rae is both inside and out. She’s smiling down at the granddaughter, and it lights up her face. Her outfit of blue jeans and a red sweater is simple and understated—exactly the look I love on her.

  When Rae notices me, her steps slow and her smile falters. June says something to her, and they continue. By the look on Rae’s face, she isn’t happy to see me.

  Sofie sees the group and tugs on my hand, pulling me towards them. “Look Daddy! It’s Uncle Frank, Miss June, and Miss Dailey!” she says in an elated voice.

  When we get close enough for introductions, June pulls her granddaughter forward.

  “Sofie, this is Emily, my granddaughter. She’s looking forward to touring the zoo with you.”

  The two girls shyly look at each other. After a few beats Sofie says, “They have baby hippos.”

  Emily looks at her grandmother and squeals with delight. “I love hippos!”

  The ice is broken, and the girls chatter with each other as the adults walk back to the check-in area to pay. Frank and June chase after the girls when they run off following a peacock. I take the opportunity to pull Rae aside for a private conversation.

  “I asked June to invite you so we could spend the day together. With Frank and June along as chaperones, we aren’t really breaking the rules.” The words tumble out of my mouth in a rush. “And I want to explain the situation with Vicki.”

  Rae stops and crosses her arms over her chest, staring intently at me. “You could have just called me.”

  I nervously shift back and forth on my feet. Rae’s body language and glare aren’t giving me much confidence. “I was afraid you wouldn’t pick up. Please spend the day with me and Sofie. I’ll answer any questions you have about my ex-wife and me.”

  She nods, but her cool expression doesn’t change.

  Sofie skips up after the peacock runs away; she tugs on Rae’s hand. “Miss Dailey, they have baby hippos and baby gorillas!”

  Rae shakes her head in amusement and grins. “Well, we need to see those.”

  When we get to the check-in counter, I pay for everyone, despite grumblings from Frank, June, and Rae. “My treat,” I say in a firm voice.

  The girls lead our little tour group as we follow the paved paths to the animals. I hang back and walk beside Rae. “I’m so happy you’re here. I feel like I’ve made a mess of our relationship lately.”

  She gives me a side-eye glare. “You sure surprised me when you purchased that rocking chair for Vicki.”

  I stop and motion Rae towards a bench at the side of the walkway. The kids, along with Frank and June, are absorbed in the giraffe exhibit, so we have time to talk alone. “I got caught up in the auction, I guess. I wasn’t thinking. Buying that chair for Vicki was a big mistake. It wasn’t like I thought of it as a gift. I was thinking more about the donation to the school . . . I’m sorry if I hurt you, that was definitely not my intent.”

  Rae’s eyes narrow as she thinks about my explanation. Then she sighs. “I jumped to conclusions. All I could see that day was a happy family—you, Vicki, and Sofie . . . and I wasn’t part of it.”

  It never occurred to me how Vicki and I appeared that day to an outsider. “I’ve been too wrapped up in kowtowing to Vicki, afraid that she’ll take Sofie away from me,” I admit to Rae, my voice laced with regret and embarrassment. “My feelings towards you haven’t changed, Rae. I’m still counting down the days to May 23.”

  She cracks a small smile. “Me too.” Her eyes turn serious. “I understand your reluctance to stand up to Vicki, but at some point,
she either has visitation rights or she doesn’t. You can’t always live in fear of what will happen next.”

  I nod and exhale a loud breath. “Vicki just added to my confusion. She backed out of this trip with Sofie at the last minute yesterday. Just the two of them were going and Sofie was so excited.” I shake my head in frustration. “Vicki prioritized her career above her daughter.” My throat clogs with emotion. “I brought Sofie here because she was so disappointed. How many times will Vicki disappoint her daughter in the future?”

  Rae gently puts her hand on my arm. “I’m sorry, Noah. You have some tough decisions to make. Pray for God’s guidance; He will help you.”

  This woman is so strong in her faith, she amazes me. My faith is like a rickety boat being tossed about in the rough ocean. Rae’s faith is like a massive cargo ship cutting through the waves, strong and steady against the choppy waters.

  The group yells at us that they’re continuing with the tour. I stand and extend my hand to Rae. “Shall we enjoy the day and see where it takes us?”

  Rae smiles and takes my hand. “We’re breaking the rules left and right.” She nods to our joined hands. I reluctantly let go and walk beside her. “I’ll play by the rules until May 23, but no longer.”

  She giggles as we walk to catch up with Frank and June. “Come see the baby gorillas!” Sofie yells loud enough to be heard across the whole zoo. The adults laugh at the tiny girl’s antics.

  “Ellie told me to beg you for forgiveness. If I grovel at your feet by the baby gorillas, will you forgive me?”

  Rae rolls her eyes. “Maybe, but only if you buy me one of those pretzels, too.” She points to a red cart displaying freshly baked giant pretzels.

  “Deal,” I say.

  ~*~

  We’re eating lunch after seeing the baby gorillas and hippos. Frank and June are sitting side-by-side on the picnic table bench; a cozy sight as they share bites of each other’s food.

  “How was the honeymoon trip to Germany?” I ask.

  June gives Frank an intimate look as a blush stains her cheeks. “We had an absolutely lovely time,” she says. “Frank has relatives in Germany, and I got to meet them. That was a highlight of the trip.” Frank smiles and nods, agreeing with whatever his new bride says.

  I hear Rae chuckle under her breath beside me—the two lovebirds oblivious to anyone except each other. I wink at Rae, and she puts her hand over her mouth to keep the laughter inside.

  Sofie and Emily eat their grilled cheese sandwiches and ask to go play on the kiddie playset beside the eating pavilion. “Stay where we can see you,” I yell as they run away.

  “The girls get on famously, don’t they?” June says. “We should plan playdates for them more often.”

  I nod. “Let’s do that.”

  “How’s the puppy?” Frank asks in his gruff voice.

  I’m surprised Sofie hasn’t talked his leg off about the dog, but she’s been too distracted by all the zoo animals. “Sofie loves that puppy. She named her Frankie after you.” I swear I see a blush on Frank’s neck when he hears that. “If we have a playdate for the girls at a park, we’ll bring Frankie,” I add.

  The girls shriek with joy as they climb on the playset. Frank and June excuse themselves and walk over closer to the playground to watch the girls. Once Frank and June are out of earshot, Rae leans over and says, “Aren’t they just the cutest couple. Look, they’re holding hands.” She nods her head towards the couple.

  “Glad they found each other,” I say.

  Rae nods and grins. “I’m so proud that we had a little bit to do with their romance since we pulled them both into the stained-glass window project.”

  I laugh. “Believe whatever you want, Miss Matchmaker.”

  We clean up our trash and walk towards the play area. “Are you and Sofie coming to Easter service tomorrow? I’ve missed seeing you at church.”

  I grimace at our repeated absence. “I’m embarrassed to admit that since Vicki entered our lives, going to church has been a bit spotty.” When I utter the words, I realize I’ve been avoiding the one place that can help me, acting as a balm to my soul. Who could leave one of Pastor Tim’s sermons feeling down?

  Rae raises her eyebrows, waiting for a commitment from me about tomorrow.

  “We’ll attend. Save us a seat.”

  Smiling, Rae says, “I’ll see you bright and early. Tomorrow is sunrise service at 6:00 a.m.” I groan and she laughs. “You won’t regret going, Noah. Sunrise service is one of my favorites.”

  We join the rest of our group and a warm feeling flows through my body at my repaired relationship with Rae. Will Vicki throw another wrench in it?

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Raelynn

  NOAH SLIDES INTO THE PEW beside me just as the choir sings the first strains of “Christ the Lord Is Risen Today.” The organ notes soar and the voices fill the sanctuary, causing me to blink back tears. Sofie sleepily waves at me from her perch on her dad’s shoulder—her eyelids droop and she looks like she could nod off at any second. Little tremors zip up my spine as I gaze at Noah in his gray suit and red tie. He looks so handsome and debonair, a far cry from yesterday’s mountain man. But I must admit, I love both looks.

  He takes my hand, resting our joined hands on the seat between us, hopefully inconspicuous to the remainder of the congregation. His warm hand makes me feel happy and protected. I convince myself that I’ll just hold on until the end of the song, but after the last notes are sung, I can’t pull away. Noah squeezes my fingers as if he knows exactly what I’m thinking.

  Today the altar is ringed with pots of white Easter lilies, in different color containers of pastel blues, pinks, and yellows. It looks like spring exploded around the raised platform. Pastor Tim assumes his position behind the lectern, greeting everyone in his booming voice. “Good morning!”

  The audience responds with an equally loud “Good morning!” making Sofie jump. Noah gently rubs her back, and she nods off again on his shoulder.

  The sermon is a traditional Easter sermon, filled with hope and joy. About halfway through, the sunrise beams through the restored stained-glass windows, bathing the sanctuary in vibrant shades of the colors in the glass—yellow, green, blue, and orange. It’s a breathtaking sight, and several murmured “aahs” echo across the congregation.

  Noah leans over and whispers, “It’s like God is smiling down on us.”

  I blink at him with tears of happiness and joy in my eyes. Pastor Tim even pauses for a few seconds, letting the audience bask in the stunning sunrise reflected through the windows, because words can’t really describe the sight.

  When the sermon ends, everyone slowly trickles out of the pews, talking in small groups about Pastor Tim’s poignant message. When Noah asks, “Did you enjoy the service?” all I can do is nod as emotion fills my throat. Being here with Noah and Sofie is like a dream come true. It makes me believe that everything will work out with Noah and me. For the first time in weeks, I feel confident in a bright future with the two people standing beside me.

  We inch towards the exit doors; the line moves slowly because Pastor Tim says something to every person. “Would you like to join Ellie, Margaret, Sofie, and me for Easter dinner at my house?” Noah asks. “I’m baking a ham, Ellie’s bringing scalloped potatoes, and Margaret is bringing dessert, although she wasn’t specific as to what it is.”

  “Coconut bird’s nest cake,” Sofie says between yawns.

  When Noah meets my eyes, we both chuckle. “How did you know that, sweet pea?” Noah asks.

  “She told me,” Sofie replies. “It’s her special Easter cake.”

  “How could I refuse, with such a delectable menu?” I say, a broad smile on my face.

  Noah leans over and says under his breath, “Don’t feel pressure to come if you think it’s breaking the rules.”

  I squeeze his arm. “I’m just having dinner with my friends.”

  His eyes go wide at my unexpected response since I’ve bee
n so strict about “the rules,” then he smiles, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

  “What can I bring?”

  “You and your bright smile,” Noah replies with a wink.

  “Noah, Sofie, and Raelynn, so glad you could come. May the Lord be with you,” Pastor Tim says when we finally get to the front of the line. “The stained-glass window was resplendent, wasn’t it? I thank God every day for your help restoring it.” He gives us each a hearty handshake. I see Noah blinking back tears at the pastor’s generous praise.

  Before I get in my car, Noah says, “Thank you for inviting us. I needed your encouragement to get here, and I’m so glad Sofie and I came.”

  I nod. “Hopefully, you’ll be able to join me from now on.”

  He laughs. “Between you and Pastor Tim, how could a guy say no?”

  “See you around two,” I say as I get in my car and leave. Suddenly it feels like May 23 is just around the corner!

  ~*~

  Of course, I get second thoughts about dinner with Noah once I’m home and have time to think about it further. Would Principal Marshfield consider my sharing a meal with Noah and his family to be breaking the rules? It’s such a gray area, and I wish for the first time that Sofie had been placed in Cassie’s class not mine. How much simpler it would have been! Noah and I could have started dating months ago.

  Knowing that Ellie and Margaret will be there, it won’t be like a real date with only Noah and me. Convincing myself that we’re just bending—but not breaking—the rules, I get out my grandmother’s biscuit recipe. There’s nothing like Grandma Bessie’s warm biscuits slathered in butter. Grabbing flour and baking soda from the pantry, I put my worries aside and bake.

  Noah’s house smells delicious when I arrive. Ellie greets me at the front door, and we share a warm hug.

  “Rae, it’s so great to see you,” Ellie says with a wink.

  “Yes, especially since we just saw each other on Thursday,” I tease. Ellie had picked Sofie up when a meeting with one of Noah’s clients ran over.