Goldilocks

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Goldilocks Page 22

by Laura Lam


  “As well as can be expected. You?”

  Hart wordlessly shook her head.

  Naomi put her hand on the glass of the autodoc before it could close.

  Hixon ignored her wife, expression as cold and empty as the surface of Mars.

  “Look,” Naomi said to both of them, keeping her voice as low as she could. The comms speakers weren’t oversensitive, and the humming medical equipment helped provide white noise. “Hixon, would we be able to loop Mars and use our remaining fuel to head back to Earth instead of Cavendish?”

  “Doesn’t matter,” Hixon said. “That’s not the mission.”

  “Jesus, Hixon, turn off that robotic urge to follow orders and answer the fucking question,” Hart said, making a show of hooking Naomi up to the autodoc for the benefit of the camera.

  Hixon shook her head. “I’m not answering.” Her lips thinned. “Please. This is awful. Beyond awful. I want to save Earth, but Valerie isn’t going to change her mind. Our best hope is to make it to Cavendish. Make things as best we can for the next wave of humanity. We can’t help any of them if Valerie kills us, too.”

  “You think she’d do that?” Hart whispered.

  “If she felt we were no longer required, if we were getting in her way and she could make it without us? Yes.” Hixon’s voice was a soft murmur. “I’m trying to make sure we all survive.”

  “That’s still cowardice,” Hart said, turning from her wife in disgust.

  “The cure will be on board,” Naomi said, her voice barely a whisper. Hixon caught it, but Hart was over at the autodoc. “Or at least the formula will be. She wouldn’t risk anyone infected following us to Cavendish without it. You’re good with computers. See if you can get through Valerie’s personal encrypted files. Evan tried to help me with them, but I couldn’t figure it out. We have to try. But please—please run the calculations to see if we can go back. Just in case.”

  Naomi lay back in the autodoc, watching emotions play over Hixon’s face as Hart started the scan.

  “Irene—” Hixon began.

  “No,” Hart cut her off. “You don’t say a goddamn word to me until you come to your senses.”

  Hixon blinked quickly, but the tears didn’t fall. Hart was dry-eyed.

  “Have you had any symptoms that worried you?” Hart asked Naomi, all business, even as they both knew Naomi had only claimed she needed a scan as an excuse to talk.

  “Some headaches,” she said, which was true. “Swollen ankles.” Also true.

  Naomi kept her body still, focusing inwards. But she sensed the baby was still there, clinging on.

  The scan completed and Naomi stood up, the blood rushing to her head. She clutched at the foam of the autodoc to steady herself.

  “All looks fine so far, but here—” Hart passed Naomi another cup—“take a piss. Better safe than sorry.”

  Naomi did as she was told. If Hart and Hixon spoke while she went about her business, she couldn’t hear.

  Their body language was stiff when she returned. Hixon’s head tilted up at the scan. Was she thinking about what would happen if they arrived in Cavendish and for whatever reason couldn’t grow viable artificial wombs?

  Hart was quiet, head bowed. Hixon took a few steps towards her, hesitant. Hart raised her head, weary. She didn’t pull away as Hixon rested a hand on her upper arm. Their anger had sparked out. Hixon drew her close, and Naomi saw her whisper something in her ear.

  Hart pulled away, searching her wife’s face. Hixon had let the tears fall, finally, unashamed. Hart wiped them away. “I understand,” Hart said, aloud. “You’re doing what you think is best. But don’t think that makes it right between us.”

  Hixon sniffed, once. “Let’s get you back to your lab, Lovelace. We need the next crop of nutriblocks.”

  Hart’s gaze caught Naomi’s, trying to signal what had passed between her and her wife. Naomi nodded. Learning how to read lips as a child had proved useful. Hixon had whispered: “I’ll search for the cure. You’re right. We can’t do this.”

  Naomi didn’t know if Hixon had truly wavered and been lured by their captain’s plan. As Hixon marched Naomi back to her lab, she had no idea how to ask. All the same, as the door to her lab swung shut, out of sight of the comms, Naomi mouthed a thank you to Hixon. The pilot gave the barest tilt of her head before the metal snapped shut.

  For the first time since she’d been confined to her lab, Naomi felt maybe there was a chance. Hope blared right next to the anger.

  She checked her tablet, subtly. No message.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

  129 Days After Launch

  2 Days to Mars

  120 Days to Cavendish

  Naomi had finished filtering the pepper solution and gently decanted it into a refillable aerosol can. After an hour of prepping algae, startling at every sound, her tablet finally made a soft, silent flash.

  Naomi hid behind the purple algae vials to read Evan’s message, dread dripping through her.

  Evan Kan: Sickness is spreading. They’re calling it the Sev. Death toll of those infected is roughly eighty per cent, with the possibility to rise. Eight per cent of the U.S. population is showing symptoms, and that will certainly increase. Breakouts are being reported elsewhere in North and South America, Europe, China, Africa—we won’t be able to stop the spread in time. Japan, Australia, New Zealand, and Iceland have completely closed their borders, though I doubt that will slow it down for long. We still don’t know exactly how the virus behaves. Half of my team is already dead.

  An ache travelled from her chest to her fingertips. Eight per cent was already affected and it’d only been a few days.

  Evan Kan: I haven’t publicly spread that Valerie started the virus. No one knows it was her. Hopefully you can use that as leverage, to try and get her to tell us where the formula or existing doses of the vaccine she developed concurrently are stored. I don’t think we can afford to wait on her whims. Can you?

  Evan Kan: If she’s hidden it anywhere on Earth, I think it might be in one of her off-book warehouses. The one nearest the outbreak is the one I’ll check first. Yes, I know, it means going into the most heavily infected area. There are guards on the perimeter, but they’re stopping people leaving, not entering. I’ll try to sneak through. Hopefully, I’ll find something. Anything. I have to try. By the time you read this, I’ll already be heading there. Messages will reroute to my phone, but I don’t know if there will be service. Plenty of cell towers are already down. If I don’t make it back, I’m sorry. And, not to get too mushy, but I love you. I’m sorry we didn’t figure it out fifteen years ago, but we got there in the end. Hopefully I’ll see you on the other side.

  Naomi bowed her head over the tablet, squeezing her eyes shut. She wanted to scream at him. To tell him to come back. But if he said he was leaving right after he sent the message, he would have. She simply wrote back the three words he’d told her and hoped that he’d survive to be able to see them.

  She tried not to think of guards, in top-grade filter masks that still weren’t enough to slow the spread, machine guns heavy in their arms, eyes scanning the horizon for any movement. Even if he got the cure, dropped it into the hand of one of the guards, and spread the information to those far and wide, they wouldn’t let him back out in case he was infected. He’d take precautions—gloves and a filter mask of his own—but that was no guarantee. He was being all heroic and she hated it.

  Naomi harvested a small crop of potatoes, scrubbing them too hard, their brown skin peeling back to reveal the white flesh. In frustration, she threw one against the wall. It bounced, skittering across the ground, dented but still intact. With a sigh, she picked it up and added it to the others. Calories were calories.

  As the hours dripped past, Naomi ground her teeth until her jaw ached. She had to hope that either Hixon had made good on her promise already, or that Lebedeva would come to collect the next dose of nutriblocks. Hixon hadn’t promised to do anything to deliberately take Lebedeva o
r Valerie down, and Naomi wasn’t convinced Hixon’s bravery extended that far. For all her military accolades, Hixon had never seen combat.

  If the pilot did find the cure, that would spur her to action, but if she didn’t, would that convince her to renew her loyalty to Valerie? If humanity couldn’t be saved anyway, make the best of it for the children left behind or the new children they’d grow on Cavendish?

  Naomi renewed her pacing, the pepper spray gripped in one hand. Lebedeva had seen Naomi use aerosols plenty of times. She gave it a last shake for good luck and slid it into her coverall pocket.

  When Lebedeva arrived, Naomi didn’t know if she’d be brave enough to use her makeshift weapon. It felt so silly, so paltry, just some chilli oil and water. Lebedeva could have an actual weapon, for all Naomi knew. Another secret Valerie could have smuggled into the ship without the rest of them any the wiser. Even if she didn’t, Lebedeva was taller, corded with muscle from her endless hours at the gym. She’d run half marathons in the rec room until Naomi told her she had to knock it off because she was burning energy that they couldn’t afford to replenish. She’d overpower Naomi without even trying.

  Lebedeva finally arrived just before dinner. Naomi shuffled to the corner of the room. Her mouth went dry, breath shallow.

  The door swung open in a swish. “Naomi—” Lebedeva started, her hand at the comms control, but Naomi didn’t give her a chance to finish. Naomi grabbed the aerosol from her pocket and dived forward, spraying Lebedeva in the eyes. In the same motion, Naomi grabbed the empty algae vial beneath her mattress and used it to wedge the door open.

  Lebedeva charged at her, even as she couldn’t see. Naomi made a run for a second vial but Lebedeva in her half-blinded state still managed to snatch Naomi’s wrist. Naomi twisted, afraid of falling. Lebedeva’s grip was a vice.

  Lebedeva opened her mouth in a pained cry with a stream of colourful Russian swearing. She let go of Naomi’s wrist. “I was coming to break you out,” she cried, tears streaming down reddened eyes.

  Naomi had bent down to wedge the door open further, but stopped cold.

  Lebedeva heaved great gasps, trying not to scream, hands balled against her eyes.

  Naomi didn’t know whether to trust her, but her gaze stuck on the comms panel. Lebedeva had switched it off when she entered. Valerie had insisted it was kept on at all times. Valerie couldn’t see them right now unless she realised it was off and turned it back on remotely.

  “Fuck,” Naomi whispered. “Don’t touch it!” She dragged Lebedeva to the sink. She sprayed some soap into a bowl, diluting it with three parts water. She held it steady as Lebedeva doused her face in it, the soap helping break down the oils in the spray. Lebedeva came up for breath, gasping, and did it a couple more times. She was vulnerable. Naomi could tie Lebedeva up and leave her in the lab.

  Yet Naomi passed her a wipe soaked in the soapy water, and Lebedeva gently rubbed her face until the worst of the burning had passed. She blinked rapidly, tears helping clear the sting further. She’d be in pain for a while yet, but at least she could speak again.

  “Pepper spray,” Lebedeva muttered. “Really?”

  Naomi held another empty algae vial like a baseball bat. “Hurry up and explain,” she said. “The comms might not stay off for long.”

  Lebedeva held up her hands, eyes bloodshot, the skin of her pale cheeks splotched pink. Her chest heaved, fighting down whimpers. It was strange to see Lebedeva’s shoulders hunched. She tilted her head back, gave something like a laugh. “Like I said, coming to get you out.” She kept to Russian.

  “Why?”

  Her laugh trailed off, her eyes still watering. “I have not slept in two days,” she said.

  Naomi tightened her grip on the glass, more confused than ever.

  “I thought I would be fine. That the first night was only stress. I thought I understood. I thought Dr. Black’s plan was right.” She gave another hiss of pain. “Then I did not sleep again. Maybe I am now so tired I no longer care. Or care too much. It was why you could surprise me. Reflexes are slow.” Her head lolled, lips pulling back from her canine teeth. “I see my family every time I close my eyes. Even if they hate me, I cannot let them die. They might have already.”

  Naomi’s fingers loosened on the vial. Slowly, she lowered it.

  “Dr. Black caught Hixon trying to break into her files,” Lebedeva said.

  Naomi’s skin tightened, fear thrumming through her. “Shit. What happened?”

  “Dr. Black is locked in her room with Hart. So they are together at least, though I think they still want to kill each other. Only Dr. Black has the code to their quarters. You are easier to break out. And you know Dr. Black better than any of us. You know what will change her mind.”

  Naomi swallowed. “I thought I did. Not sure I do anymore.” She gave a weak laugh. “God, I maced you for nothing.” She spoke in English; she could understand Lebedeva well enough, but the adrenaline had chased away her Russian.

  Lebedeva blinked again, gave a cracked smile. “I commend your ingenuity. Come, we’ve wasted too much time. Hixon said she ran the calculations, and we can return to Earth with our existing fuel supply, but it is not easy. We’d have to loop around Mars to help us turn and to give us enough velocity, and we’d need to change our trajectory soon. Today. Within two hours.”

  Naomi sucked in a breath at that. Two hours. She held out her hand, and Lebedeva took it with a sigh. Naomi kept the vial in her right hand.

  Naomi went to the comms panel, her body half-turned to Lebedeva. The Russian held her hands splayed wide and empty as she kept shaking her head and wincing from the burning. Sure enough, Hart and Hixon were both in their quarters. Valerie was in the bridge.

  A crackle through the comms. Perhaps Valerie had still watched while it was off, and they’d never had any privacy at all. “Come on down, Naomi,” Valerie said. “Let’s talk. Leave Lebedeva in the lab; I have changed the code on the door.” The words were languid with her slow drawl.

  Naomi’s heart rate hammered.

  Lebedeva’s shoulders fell. She shuffled back to the sink, ready to rinse her eyes again.

  “It is all right,” she said. “I will stay. You will get through to her.”

  Naomi nodded, hoping she exuded a confidence she didn’t feel. She left the door wedged open and kept her grip on her vial. There was a chance the camera angles had hidden it and that Valerie wasn’t checking schematics that closely. Worth a try.

  “Break open their lock,” she called out to Lebedeva behind her. Lebedeva grunted her assent.

  Naomi stuck the vial in a beltloop of her coveralls, slid the pepper spray into her pocket, and made her way to the nearest spoke. She took a deep breath and climbed into the dark.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

  129 Days After Launch

  2 Days to Mars

  120 Days to Cavendish

  As Naomi climbed along the spoke towards the main body of the ship, she wished she could speak to Hart and Hixon. Questions pummelled her. Was the two hours a hard deadline? What if it was two and a half hours before Naomi could get her hands on the controls? And if they changed trajectory without the cure… If about a third of the world was under twenty-one, plus five per cent of the adults proved immune, it would still mean returning to a world that was over half dead.

  There was also the chance that Lebedeva’s change of heart was only temporary and fear could drive her back to Valerie. Or that her engineering skills weren’t enough to break open Hart and Hixon’s door in time.

  What if their plan all hinged on a cure that wasn’t on the ship? That this was the one thing Valerie didn’t make a backup for because she knew she’d be light years away?

  What scared Naomi most was not knowing which version of Valerie was waiting for her in the bridge. The one she thought she knew, or the woman Naomi suspected she’d never known.

  The door opened.

  Valerie perched on the captain’s chair, a leg through one armrest and a
hand on the other to keep her tethered. The screens dotted about the bridge showed feeds from around the ship. There was Lebedeva outside Hart and Hixon’s room, unscrewing the metal cover of the comms panel. Valerie must have already known Naomi had left the door wedged open. Valerie’s back was to Naomi as she stared out the window at the scattering of stars. Her brown curls rose around her head like a flame.

  Naomi floated closer, using the handrails. She held the pepper spray in one hand.

  “Give me your pepper spray,” Valerie said, twisting her face towards her. “Should have known Lebedeva was as cowardly as the others, but well done on rigging that up, I suppose.” Valerie’s eyes flicked briefly towards the screen.

  “I’m not handing you my weapons,” Naomi said.

  Valerie made a sound in her throat. “Put it under a chair or something, I don’t care. You’re not going to attack me, anyway, and I’m not about to mace a pregnant woman. What kind of monster do you take me for?” She grinned.

  The smooth assurance made Naomi only want to clutch her weapons closer. She slid the vial out of her beltloop and put it in the pocket on the back of Hixon’s chair along with the aerosol.

  “There,” Valerie said. Her body language was relaxed. “So, you got a plan, Nomi?”

  Naomi gathered her breath. “I’ve come to make a deal.”

  Valerie laughed. “I’m not sure you’re exactly in a negotiating position.”

  “Neither are you. Even if you managed to keep us locked up for four more months, you’re outnumbered. Eventually we’ll find a way to take you down, unless you kill all of us, but it’d be damn hard to make it on your own on Cavendish. So you have to keep up the vigilance. It’s already tiring, I’m sure. None of us are with you, not when it counts. But we could be.”

  Valerie’s face went still.

  “You don’t want to land on Cavendish with four prisoners you have to force to do your bidding,” Naomi continued, emboldened. “You need us until you can grow or deliver enough children, and hope they grow up to be loyal in the ways we currently are not. It’ll be years of threats and watching your back. There’s an easier way to get us on your side. To make us a crew again.”

 

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