by Laura Lam
Did the three other women have any way of hearing what was happening down on the bridge? When they were all free, would they come for her?
Valerie gave Naomi a long, cool look.
“You’ve already killed close to ten per cent of the population. So you’ve done it. The fabric of society has broken. They can’t come after us, Valerie. All their energy and focus will be on solving what’s happening to them. So let them. Establish Cavendish, see if they’ll still send a lifeboat or two. You have the upper hand. If you give Earth the cure, the four of us will follow you. Without hesitation, without reservations. We will help you in your vision of utopia.”
Valerie was listening. Naomi pressed on. “Evan hasn’t told them you were the one who spread the virus.”
A flicker, difficult to read. Had she read all of Naomi and Evan’s messages?
“You’d be the hero, Valerie,” Naomi pressed. “Ferrying survivors, starting with the children and your chosen caretakers. The adults won’t stop you now. They’ll want to keep the next generation safe. You woke them up. So don’t you see? You’ve already won.”
“You’re asking me to give them a slow death instead of a quick one,” Valerie said. “That’s all. It’ll take time to establish Cavendish. By the time we’re sending for the adults, they’ll have boiled to death on their compromised rock.”
“Humans are tenacious. Give them a chance to show you they’re capable of change.”
Valerie scoffed. “They won’t.” Her gaze went distant. “What’s to stop you from turning on me again, if I bowed to your demand?”
“Because you’re trying to kill billions of people, Valerie!” Naomi’s attempted calm fractured. “I’ve had my moments where I look at humanity and think it’d be better if we just burned it down and started again. Haven’t we all? Doesn’t mean I actually do it. Even if we understand your reasoning, it is murder on an impossible scale. Earth is in the past for us, yes, but that doesn’t mean it has to be gone. We can’t start our legacy on genocide. What example does that set for a future generation?”
Valerie unhooked her leg, letting herself rise. She drifted forward, her body angled towards Naomi.
“If you do this,” Naomi said, “then my child will grow up knowing the good part of you. The part of you that would be horrified at what you’re doing, even if logic says it’s a viable plan. But if you drag us through and let everyone back on Earth die, I’ll do whatever I can to keep her from you. Or to make sure she knows from the beginning just what her grandmother is capable of.”
“You still think you can threaten me,” Valerie said.
“Like I said, it’s an offer. A clear laying out of terms. If you do this, I know it’s because you respect me, you want me at your side. In return, I won’t be going anywhere.”
Valerie’s chin jerked up. She reached out to touch Naomi’s cheek. Naomi didn’t let herself flinch.
“Give them the cure,” Naomi said, her throat growing tight. “And then let’s go home.”
“To Earth or Cavendish?” Valerie whispered.
“Whichever you want.” Thirty years on, Naomi couldn’t remember if she thought those words a lie or not.
Valerie’s expression was softer than Naomi had seen in weeks. Her eyes were wet. “How can I trust that you won’t betray me again, Naomi?” she asked again, voice pained. “I took you in after your mother died, even though I wasn’t in her will. You were meant to be packed off to some distant relatives in Scotland you’d never met. Grow up somewhere rural, with no money. You’d have had to grow up like I did. Grasping for every goddamn scrap. Would you have had the same drive? Achieved all you have? I don’t know.”
Naomi’s mouth went dry.
She’d always assumed that Valerie was listed in Catherine’s will as Naomi’s legal guardian after her death. She’d almost not grown up underneath Valerie’s shadow. Who would she have been? Not here. Definitely not here.
“My mother had money,” Naomi said. “That would have gone to my legal guardian. How did I end up with you?”
She forced herself to keep her tone mildly curious, even as her heart thudded. They were wasting time.
Valerie shrugged a shoulder. “It was an old will—she hadn’t updated it in years. When we first created Hawthorne, all our capital was in the company, so it didn’t seem as pressing. But I knew she would have wanted me to keep you close. We’d been such a partnership.” Her gaze went distant.
Naomi had muffled memories of Valerie and Catherine together before the fire. She’d always thought they’d had a deep bond, like sisters more than business partners. Laughter, wine, fine food. Naomi’s father rarely came to their gatherings, citing work as an excuse. He had no scientific inclinations, but he’d liked making things with his hands. He was a carpenter, and even though his work had been beautiful, Valerie had given enough subtle digs that Naomi knew Valerie considered Alan Lovelace beneath Catherine and all she had achieved.
“What did you do?” Naomi asked, softly.
“Offered them enough money they didn’t mind not taking in a girl they’d never met, who never spoke and rarely slept without waking up from nightmares.” She gave a smile. “But I wanted you. I gave you everything. I want to trust you, Naomi, I do.”
Naomi swallowed. “Then give me the cure, Valerie, and I’m yours. I always have been.” Her voice was thick.
“Prove it. Prove you believe I know best.” Before Naomi could blink, Valerie’s hand was under her chin, gripping tight.
“I promise, Valerie,” Naomi said, trying to pull away but unable to gain leverage in microgravity.
Valerie’s fingers clenched against Naomi’s skin. “No. I need to know, before we jump. That you’ll do what it takes. That you won’t shy away from the hard decisions.”
“I let my ex-husband die because I believed in this mission,” Naomi said. “And my friends, my co-workers. Dennis Lee was my mentor. Doesn’t that prove it?” Naomi’s breath came shallow.
Valerie shook her head. “No. It might have once, but there were all your little schemes since.” Her eyes were wide, showing the whites. “How can I be sure you won’t turn on me again when it suits you? You’re trying to usurp me.”
Warning lights flashed throughout the bridge in pulsing purple. Valerie and Naomi’s eyes snagged on the screens. Lebedeva had tripped something trying to open Hart and Hixon’s door.
“Better hope it’s just the alarm due to the breach and not anything actually damaged. I mean, do you trust Lockwood’s workmanship?” Valerie asked mildly, as if a defective ship wouldn’t kill her just the same.
Naomi’s hand snaked down to her stomach, as if she could protect it.
Flash. Flash. Flash.
The lights hurt her eyes. She just needed to convince Valerie to give her the cure. So she could tell Evan not to risk himself. To save him and so many others. Tell her what she wants. Anything she wants.
“How can I prove it to you?” Naomi asked. They’d already wasted more than half an hour.
Valerie’s mouth curled. “Do it again. Prove that you’ll kill one person to save billions.”
Naomi counted five blinks of violet light before she responded. “What?”
“Lebedeva. Even now, she’s trying to release the others, even though I ordered you to leave her in the lab. So kill her. Do that and leave Hart and Hixon where they are. Then I will give you the cure.”
A ringing sounded in Naomi’s ears. “You can’t be serious. We need her. Her skills.” And I can’t kill someone, she screamed in her mind. Not even for you.
“We still need Hixon for flight and Hart’s medical expertise, but Lebedeva’s engineering skills can be picked up by the rest of us. It will be a loss, but I’ll gain something that’s worth it to me. Assurance that if I ask, you will follow through. You can be my new second in command, like you wanted.” Valerie’s hair was backlit by the alarm lights, tinging the brown purple. Naomi stared at an errant curl, furiously trying to think of the right respon
se that wouldn’t anger Valerie further.
“Give me the cure first,” Naomi said. “So I have assurance too. What if you don’t even have it on the ship?”
“After. You’ll just have to trust me.” Valerie’s smile grew. “How you do it is up to you. But you better hurry. Every minute means another few deaths, doesn’t it? Earth’s waiting.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
129 Days After Launch
2 Days to Mars
1.5 Hours to Change Trajectory
120 Days to Cavendish
Naomi climbed the spoke. Valerie followed. Her captain had plucked the pepper spray and put it in her coverall pocket.
Naomi desperately hoped this was some sort of bluff. That if she seemed willing enough to do it, Valerie would consider the test passed. When she glanced behind her, Valerie’s upturned face was pale against the dark blue of her stolen uniform, the commander of a stolen ship.
Work the problem. Find the solution.
Even if she managed to somehow surprise Valerie and subdue her, Valerie wouldn’t give up the formula unless she damn well wanted to. She would probably even hold up under torture, though no one on the ship would have the guts for that.
Valerie was willing to turn on a woman who had served her loyally until she realised billions of lives was too high a price to pay. Even if Naomi did this, she had to hope that Valerie’s past as a woman who kept her promises continued. That Naomi wasn’t simply being used, yet again a tool for her mentor’s whims.
Gravity took hold, making Naomi’s limbs heavier. Their footsteps echoed down the spoke. Naomi’s ankles were swollen from the pregnancy, her chest tight with stress. Every step was bringing them nearer to Lebedeva and Naomi still didn’t know what she’d do.
Valerie stayed close. In the hallway that pulsed with warning lights, she loaded the map on the nearest comms panel. “Lebedeva’s outside Hart and Hixon’s door still. She won’t be getting through any time soon. Time’s ticking, Nomi.”
“Valerie—I will do this, if you ask. But it’s a waste of good intellect and skill. She’ll come back to our side.”
Lebedeva was not replaceable, whatever Valerie said. The others’ engineering skills weren’t nearly as sophisticated, and on a ship that had already faltered twice, they’d need her, notably if Lockwood’s cut corners continued to jeopardise the craft’s systems. And what about once they landed on Cavendish?
“I’ve laid it out, Naomi. It’s up to you whether you’re brave enough to follow through. If you do this, I know you’ll do anything. And Hart and Hixon will know that, too.”
There were so many things Naomi wanted to say. That loyalty through force was not loyalty at all. That by forcing Naomi to do this, Valerie was breaking any chance at true allegiance for any of them. Perhaps Valerie knew that, and simply wanted to hurt Naomi, break her down into a tractable mould. Her mentor’s eyes were blazing with fervour.
Valerie Black was a zealot to her own cause. To her, everything she was doing was rational. She would never be persuaded to another path. She’d take loyalty bought with blood as long as people followed her.
This whole scenario was a rigged, exaggerated version of the trolley problem, Naomi realised.
In Valerie’s mind, what she was doing to Earth was simply the same thing—destroy some to save the species as a whole. In her mind, killing those on Earth meant protecting the lives that could one day flourish on Cavendish, free from humans making the same mistakes as before.
Naomi went to the med bay, Valerie following, peering as Naomi arranged the medicine. Sodium chloride—saline. Sodium thiopental to knock Lebedeva out. Potassium chloride for cardiac arrest. Quick. Painless. A mercy.
Valerie said nothing, letting Naomi choose her methods. She remembered what Hart had taught her not long after they’d taken off. Back when they all believed in the mission, in Valerie. It had been only a few months ago, but she already thought of her past self as heartbreakingly naive.
“Let’s finish this,” Naomi said, her voice heavy.
Valerie’s face broke into a horribly sweet smile. “Call her here,” Valerie said, drifting back into a corner. “No Russian, no warnings.”
Naomi stepped closer, sending her comms to the hallway outside Hart and Hixon’s quarters. “I’m back up in the med lab. How are things with the door?”
A silence and then the crackle of the channel opening. “Still unsuccessful. The lock is difficult to crack. What has happened with Dr. Black? Has she agreed to share the cure?”
“Yes. With a caveat. Can you come to the med bay for a second?”
“Are you injured?” Lebedeva asked, concern colouring her voice.
Naomi closed her eyes, feeling her face crumple as she lied. “Yes. Need help with a bandage.”
“Coming.”
Valerie crouched, spider-like. Did she truly think that this death would bond them, along with all that happened on Earth? People always said that astronauts were so brave. To ride a controlled bomb up to such an inhospitable place. To risk death on so many occasions. At that moment, Naomi felt cowardly.
She could refuse Valerie, try and find another way to get the cure. She could hope that Evan had found it, negating her need to do any of this. Or she could fall into line, sacrifice Lebedeva for the cause. Sacrifice her own morality at the same time. Flip the switch.
Lebedeva came in. Naomi wasted no time, wrenching her hands behind her back. Lebedeva struggled when she saw Valerie in the corner and rammed Naomi into a wall, hitting her shoulder hard. Panicked about the baby, Naomi whispered “trust me” in Lebedeva’s ear, out of sight of Valerie.
Lebedeva kept struggling, but more for show than a concerted effort to escape. Naomi could feel the tension in every line of Lebedeva’s body as she took the engineer to the autodoc and strapped her in.
“What are you doing?” she asked. “Dr. Black? Naomi?” Her voice went up at the end in restrained panic.
Naomi wished she could explain, apologise, cajole—anything. Her throat was as stiff and closed as just after the fire. She couldn’t make a sound even if she wanted to.
Valerie crept forward as Naomi prepped the IV line. Lebedeva began to struggle again, and between that and Naomi’s shaking hands, she made a mess of the insert.
Stop, she wanted to say. Don’t struggle. Don’t make this worse than it has to be.
Naomi lined up the medicines.
Her breath caught on a swallowed sob. She sent the saline through.
Don’t make me do this, she wanted to cry. But Valerie would simply say she wasn’t making her do anything.
Lebedeva went limp on the autodoc. Valerie took a few steps closer.
“Ah. I am caveat,” Lebedeva said. She knew how Valerie’s mind worked almost as well as Naomi did. Naomi gave a terse nod.
Naomi felt Valerie looming behind her.
Lebedeva’s face worked as she took it all in. “Do it.”
Naomi’s head jerked back.
“It is all right, Naomi.” Her hand moved beneath the constraints to rest on Naomi’s. “I am only one person. It is all right.”
Naomi scrunched her eyes closed, then opened them. Valerie was watching Lebedeva with something like avarice. Naomi steadied herself, and prepped three syringes, drawing the liquid from ampoules. They went straight into Lebedeva’s IV. Naomi bit the inside of her cheek, hard, and plunged.
Lebedeva went still, waiting to die.
Naomi bowed her head, resting her forehead against Lebedeva’s. Whispered in her ear.
Naomi wondered what floating away would feel like. Would Lebedeva have felt her heart rate slow, the blood stop in her veins? Would she have seen anything, just before she left this plane? And where would she go?
Lebedeva was limp, her face tilted away from Valerie.
Naomi raised her head. “The cure,” she croaked, barely able to force the words through her throat. She undid Lebedeva’s bonds.
Valerie gave a sigh, letting the silence stretch. “
I’m surprised you haven’t already guessed how I’d shuttle off the cure.” Naomi frowned at the odd word choice. Valerie came closer, to check Lebedeva’s corpse. Naomi’s heart thudded.
Valerie held her hand out to press against Lebedeva’s neck.
“Oh!” Naomi exclaimed, as if Valerie’s words had made sense, and Valerie stopped and twisted, a smile unfurling on her face. Naomi still had no idea, but it was a chance to play for time to come up with something better. Naomi held her hands out as if for comfort. Valerie exhaled, her arms coming around Naomi, her head resting near her neck. “I’m proud of you, Naomi.”
Naomi’s mind kept whirring, and then it clicked into place. Ah. In her mind’s eye she saw her snow globe, resting on her desk. The glitter held down by gravity. One of the few personal items she’d brought on board. It was like Valerie, to hide it right under Naomi’s nose. Could it really have been there all along, even when Naomi had unwrapped it that Christmas morning?
Before she could pull away, Naomi glanced over Valerie’s shoulder, watching as Lebedeva rose from the autodoc like Lazarus. Naomi stepped back just as Lebedeva grabbed Valerie. Valerie yowled, reaching for Naomi, frantic, her fingernails scratching across Naomi’s right cheek hard enough to bleed. Naomi hunched her shoulders, wrapping one arm across her stomach and cradling her face with the other.
Valerie twisted, clawed, but she was weak compared to Lebedeva. The Russian wrestled her into the autodoc, snapping the restraints around her arms and legs.
Valerie spat, screamed.
“Hold still, or this will hurt,” Naomi said, prepping a new syringe. Her cheek burned. Valerie reluctantly stopped thrashing as Naomi slid the IV needle into her vein, ready to inject it. Naomi’s hands still shook, but she did better than she had with Lebedeva.
Valerie’s breathing was short and fast, sweat beading at her brow. “What—?” she asked.