Follies and Nonsense

by Martin Hunnicutt

  “We want you to find an appropriate situation,” Louisa admonished her sister. “Demeaning my husband does not…”

  Ignoring Louisa, Caroline announced, “I need a new gown.” She glanced at the footman attending the room and said, “Order the carriage brought around.”

  The footman bowed and replied, “I am sorry Miss Bingley but Mr. Bingley has forbidden use of his carriage this week.”

  “I never heard…” Caroline began to argue with the footman but stopped when she saw the smirk on her brother-in-law’s face.

  “What of your carriage?” she asked Mr. Hurst.

  “Apparently I am ‘tiresome’, so my carriage is not suitable to transport you through London.”

  Caroline scowled at her brother-in-law before she turned to the footman and ordered, “Summon a cab in one hour and plan to attend me.”

  The footman bowed. “Yes miss.”

  ++**++

  The ladies at Longbourn gathered in the parlour for tea with Lady Lucas and her daughters, Charlotte and Maria. On one side of the room Jane, Elizabeth, Mary and Charlotte discussed gardens, fashions, books, music, and young men while on the other side of the room Kitty, Lydia and Maria discussed young men, fashions and the restrictions their parents imposed upon them. In the centre of the room, Lady Lucas and Mrs. Bennet discussed fashions, food, and the weather in addition to men in general.

  Mr. Hill entered the parlour with a silver tray bearing a single letter. Mrs. Bennet looked up at the butler who bowed before her, presenting the tray. Mrs. Bennet’s hand trembled slightly until she saw the direction written on the outside of the paper.

  “Lizzy, there’s a very fine letter for you from a Lord and Lady Howell,” she announced. Elizabeth rose from her chair and crossed the room to take the letter from the silver plate in Mr. Hill’s hands.

  “It’s an invitation to a ball!” called Lydia. “Shall we all attend?”

  The three youngest women crowded around Elizabeth as she opened the letter.

  “It is the invitation to Viscount Lyndon’s wedding in August. They have decided to hold the ceremony in London.” Elizabeth smiled and looked around at her sisters and mother. “This means I can stay at Longbourn the whole summer and only go to London for one week.”

  “London! Can we all go Mamma?” Lydia asked.

  Mrs. Bennet smiled patiently at her youngest child. “No dear, the invitation is for Lizzy.”

  “Nothing ever happens in the country! I do so wish I could go to London for a ball!”

  ++**++

  Later in the privacy of their father’s library, Elizabeth consulted with her Mother, Jane and Mary.

  “Mamma, I should like for Jane to come with me to London and attend the wedding as my guest. We can stay with Uncle and Aunt Gardiner, and I can take Matthew to visit his grandfather.”

  Mrs. Bennet glanced at her eldest daughter. “Yes, I believe that the wedding will be an excellent outing for Jane.”

  “You will need a new gown for the wedding,” Mary announced as she read the invitation.

  Elizabeth grinned. “We shall each need three new gowns – there will be a ball on Monday night, social calls on Tuesday and then the wedding on Wednesday.”

  “Three gowns?” Jane questioned. “Mamma, we cannot spend such monies!”

  Elizabeth took Jane’s hand. “I intended to purchase two new gowns for each of my sisters. I shall buy one extra gown for Jane to wear to the wedding.”

  “The dressmaker in Meryton will be a rich woman with ‘Mrs. Hamilton’s’ entire purse in her pocket,” Mary teased. “I do not think we can sew gowns suitable for the wedding of a future earl and countess!”

  “I shall send a note to Mrs. Harris this afternoon and we shall visit her on the morrow. This evening, Kitty and Lydia will select fashion plates for Jane to review,” Mrs. Bennet said as she rose and left her daughters.

  Consulting the almanac for the dates, Elizabeth looked at Jane and asked, “Shall we travel to town on Saturday the 8th? We can attend services with Aunt and Uncle Gardiner on Sunday and rest for the remainder of the day. The ball is Monday night and the wedding is on Wednesday.”

  “That will leave time for visits with your father-in-law for Matthew,” Jane said.

  “And perhaps a trip to the book seller,” Elizabeth decided. “Then we shall return to Longbourn on the following Saturday.”

  ++**++

  “But Mama, what do I need with two new gowns if no one will ever see them? Why does Jane get to go?” cried Lydia. “Why can’t we all attend the ball in London? I am sure that some Lord would ask me to dance!”

  “Lydia, hush!” Mrs. Bennet scolded her youngest. “I shall not allow Elizabeth to purchase your gowns if you carry on like this!”

  ++**++

  Gracechurch Street

  London

  Dearest Lizzy,

  Yes! You and Jane must stay with us when you come to town for the wedding. Your uncle and I would be gratified to attend the ball on Monday night as your guests. I shall go round to my dressmaker tomorrow to commission a new gown. I succeeded in cajoling your Uncle Edward to visit his tailor last month so he has new formal wear as well.

  I am glad to hear of your pleasant visit at Longbourn. I remember when we visited Rose Briar last year that you had a wistful look in your eye whenever we talked of the family and recent news from Longbourn.

  Let me encourage you to join with Jane and Mary in helping your dear mother as she directs your youngest sister toward maturity. I do not think the ease with which the first three daughters approached womanhood prepared your dear Mamma for Catherine’s slow transformation and now the challenges of Lydia’s actions. Your Aunt Phillips admits to the same rebelliousness in her youth.

  I trust you will be wise and learn from these experiences for your own son’s youth which be upon you before you realize – the years go by very quickly.

  Please write to Earl Rutherford and invite him to dinner and supper every day while he is in town – the children remember him affectionately and your uncle enjoys the conversation. He enjoyed cook’s pie and our quiet street.

  Your affectionate aunt,

  Madeline Gardiner

  ++**++

  “I shall take the lease,” Bingley announced the morning they left Meryton to return to London.

  “Very well Charles,” Darcy said. “There is potential for improvement without a great deal of expense and that will increase your annual income.”

  “And the improvements will make the estate more expensive should I decide to buy it at the end of the lease.”

  The village of Meryton fell behind them quickly. Their valets and trunks were in a wagon behind them. The two men had ridden in silence for five minutes before Mr. Bingley cleared his throat, “Darcy, I must speak with you and speak plainly.”

  Rolling his eyes, Darcy replied, “Don’t tell me that you are in love with some maid from the inn at Meryton.”

  Glancing at his friend, Darcy noticed that Charles was frowning. “I insist that you to take me seriously Darcy. You are my friend and I am indebted to you for many kindnesses including helping me into the saddle here at Netherfield but I must speak with you on a serious matter.”

  “Very well Charles. How can I help you?”

  “When we return to town, you can help me – and help yourself – by ceasing to pay attention to Caroline. She believes you intend to make an offer for her.”

  “Make an offer for Caroline?” Darcy asked. “I have done nothing to…”

  “No, of course not but she always makes it appear that you are involved with her schemes and gossip. The night of the ball at Lord and Lady Maynard’s, you singled Caroline out as the only woman you danced with while many young ladies were wanting of partners.”

  “She asked me to make certain she was not a wall flower who only danced with her brother,” Darcy replied. “I imagined what it would be like for Georgiana to be left along the wall.”

  “Darcy, your sister wi
ll never be left standing without partners at a ball.” Charles frowned as he said, “If Caroline would be more congenial with the young men who ask her to dance – she would not be ignored along the wall.”

  “Charles, you are harsh upon your sister!”

  “That may be true Darcy but I want her to find a suitable husband. That dance supported Caroline’s belief that you are interested in her as wife. Louisa and I have spoken to her trying to end this notion but you dance with her and you include her by name in invitations to dine.”

  “I am being polite to the sister of my friend!”

  “Do you behave in this matter with the sister of any other of your acquaintances?” Charles asked.

  “I am not a suitor for your sister’s hand,” Darcy insisted.

  Charles pulled back on the reins to bring his horse to a halt and turned to Darcy. “Then stop acting as one! I must insist old man – Louisa and I want to see Caroline settled.”

  Embarrassed by his friend’s assessment, Darcy nodded. “Shall I stay away from Netherfield then?”

  Bingley shook his head, “No, Caroline would only believe that I did not invite you purposely and make my life more difficult. I already argue with Caroline about her expenses – she will want to re-furnish Netherfield even though I have only taken a lease. Your absence would incite her to greater expenses.”

  Darcy smirked as Bingley frowned, “Besides there will shooting this fall. Come and help me with the fall preparations for spring but disengage from her schemes. Make friends with the locals.”

  “She will not care for the country folk…” Darcy observed. He glanced toward Bingley as their horses walked along the road to Netherfield. “You should remind Caroline that I do not entertain anyone but tenants, farmers and local gentry at Pemberley. The only peer to cross my doorway in many a year is my uncle.”

  “But you have a great house in town and she is convinced that once she was in residence as Mrs. Darcy, she only venture to Pemberley with a caravan of visitors from the ton following her.”

  Darcy frowned, “I would not fund such a life for any wife – I am happiest in the country and my wife will be with me in the country.”

  Laughing aloud, Bingley shook his head. “Darcy, I have always believed you to be an intelligent man before today. But this afternoon I have proof that you are naive if you think a husband will live happy if his wife is not happy.”

  ++**++

  In the middle of August, the society pages reported on the wedding of Lady Gwendolyn Howell to Viscount Lyndon Rutherford. Amid the story’s recitation of dancing, dresses and fine wines, there was a line that was celebrated within the walls of Longbourn.

  ++**++

  “In attendance at the wedding were the groom’s father, the Earl of Rutherford accompanied by his daughter-in-law, Lady Hamilton and her sister, Miss B. from Hertfordshire. At the ball on Monday night before the wedding, the Prince Regent asked Miss B. to dance.”

  ++**++

  In London that same day, an answer to a plea for safe haven was delivered.

  ++**++

  Havenhurst Street

  London

  Dear Caroline,

  I understand your distress at being forced to remove to the country from town but unfortunately, my family cannot host for you through the remainder of the year. My mother instructs me to write that she is certain that your brother knows what is best for you.

  On the other hand, I agree with you that no one truly understands young ladies. I appreciate your position but cannot offer suggestions.

  Sincerely,

  Sarah Byrnes

  ++**++

  Caroline Bingley sighed as her maid packed her third trunk of dresses.

  “Harris, how shall I survive in Hertfordshire? There will be no society parties or gatherings.” She threw down the shawl she had been folding and stalked to a window. Charles rented a fashionable house on Grosvenor Street and she appreciated the view of the street below where she could see passing carriages with well-dressed ladies and gentlemen.

  “I shall only see sheep and cows in Hertfordshire!” Caroline fussed. She turned around and began repeating her orders, “See that my hat boxes are carefully packed. Pick this shawl off the floor and pack it with my night shifts.”

  “Miss Bingley, may I speak with you for a moment?” the maid asked suddenly.

  “What? What do you want? We have a great deal of packing to complete before retiring this evening,” Caroline said as she walked over to the trunk in front of the maid. “This is not right at all!”

  “Miss Bingley, I am giving you notice. I shall not go with you to Hertfordshire.”

  “Then I shall not give you a reference you ungrateful chit!” Caroline roared.

  “No madam, I understand,” the maid said as she dropped the shawl back to the floor and left the room.

  Caroline picked up a pillow from her bed and threw it against the wall. Storming from the room, she went to Louisa’s rooms to requisition her sister’s maid to complete the packing.

  Five minutes later, the new maid stumbled into the room ahead of Caroline. “You can finish my packing and then return to Mrs. Hurst’s room and her packing.”

  “But Miss Bingley, Mr. Hurst was explicit in that I am not allowed to serve you. He was most insistent, miss.”

  “Well he isn’t here now so you will complete my packing…”

  From the doorway, Louisa entered the room and took her maid’s hand. “Return to my room and complete your allotted tasks. Then make certain you get a good night’s sleep. Tomorrow will be very busy with the journey to this new estate my brother has leased.”

  “Yes Mrs. Hurst. Thank you, madam.” The maid curtsied and fled the room without a glance back at Caroline.

  “Well, how is my packing to be completed now?” Caroline fussed.

  “I will help you Caroline but you must make some effort yourself.”

  Staring at Louisa, the fair-haired woman’s face was aghast with disbelief. “No lady packs her own trunks! That is a job for the maid!”

  “Then don’t drive the next one away!” Louisa retorted. “A good maid is hard to find and you have had three leave your service in the last twelve months!”

  “They are lazy and require constant supervision!” Caroline argued. “Why can’t Brooks help me?”

  Louisa sighed. “Sister, I love you but you must cast off this disproportional sense of worth!”

  “What do you mean?” Caroline asked with the pitch of her voice rising. “We are members of the ton now! Not a family in trade!”

  “Hand me that shawl,” Louisa said, pointing to the garment on the floor again after surrendering the conversation again. “You cannot take all of these trunks Caroline. It would require another wagon complete.”

  ++**++

  Chapter 8.

  The Bennet Ladies Attend the Assembly Ball

  After a harvest festival for the tenant families at Longbourn, the Bennet sisters prepared for the Assembly Ball. At first Lydia moaned and sulked as her sisters fitted gowns they would wear to the gathering while she remained at home. But Kitty’s excitement at attending her first assembly infected all of the others and Mrs. Bennet convinced Lydia to decorate bonnets for each of her sisters. After sending the stable boys into the barnyard, Lydia festooned her sisters’ bonnets with new plumage after the roosters at Longbourn were plucked of their tail feathers.

  The night of the Meryton assembly, Mr. and Mrs. Smyth attended the ball as chaperones for the sisters while Mrs. Bennet remained at home with Lydia and Matthew. Elizabeth sent her carriage to the dower cottage to pick up the Smyths and then return to the house to pick up the sisters.

  Mrs. Bennet and Lydia stood on the small porch, waving as the carriage pulled away.

  “Next year, I shall be the belle of the ball Mamma! I am certain of it!” Lydia insisted.

  Taking her youngest by the hand, Mrs. Bennet smiled. “Yes, you will but you’ve grown up much too fast Lydia. All of my daughters
have grown up before my very eyes.”

  Mrs. Brice brought Matthew onto the porch as the carriage disappeared and the child went into his grandmother’s arms willingly.

  Lydia watched her mother for a moment before she asked, “Mamma, would you like a great many grandchildren?”

  Francis Bennet smiled. “I love Matthew and I would like more grandchildren. But I want my girls settled with good husbands – Lydia it is important that you find a good man – not just a red coat or handsome face.” She leaned over to kiss her youngest daughter’s brow while Matthew laughed and reached for his aunt.

  Carefully taking the little boy, Lydia insisted, “Mamma, I want to go dancing – not get married.”

  “And you will go dancing next year Lydia,” Mrs. Bennet promised. “But only where your sisters and I can keep an eye on you.”

  “Oh Mamma, you say the strangest things.” Lydia turned, heading toward the parlour with Matthew. “Can we have a party when Father returns?”

  ++**++

  In the carriage, Kitty and Mary discussed the local families who would attend the assembly with Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

  “The Lucas family lives closest to the hall in Meryton,” Mary said. “Their estate is a similar size to Longbourn.”

  “And the Gouldings have a larger estate but they don’t manage it well,” Jane said.

  “What about Netherfield?” Mr. Smyth asked.

  “It is a large estate that has been badly managed for several years – or so the gentlemen in the neighbourhood tell us,” Mary reported.

  “From my first impressions, I think the new tenant will do well. His name is Charles Bingley,” Smith stated.

  “What kind of man is Mr. Bingley?” asked Kitty.

  “From the reports of the merchants in Meryton, he is a young man of good fortune Miss Kitty.”

  “I thought our Uncle Phillips handled Netherfield?” Elizabeth asked.

  Mary nodded. “He does but he is in Antigua with our Father so his partner is the one telling tales on Mr. Bingley.”