Fifth Essence: A Reverse Harem Tale (Lovin' the Coven Book 5)

by Jacquelyn Faye

  "You calling me a slut?" I meant it as a joke, but she stared at me, almond-shaped eyes nearly in a perfect shocked circle.

  "No!"

  "I was kidding, Yuke. Calm your mammaries."

  "What mammaries? And don't joke. Who you are had way more to do with it than you think."

  "Who am I?"

  "A true witch high priestess."

  "But apparently, I'm not a witch, according to Jaeren."

  "Well, here's your chance to do a little research." She nodded to the door.

  I looked over my shoulder and smiled at Nana, who came strolling in with a youngish looking man in jeans and a flannel shirt under a jean jacket.

  "Hello, Child."

  "Hey, Nana."

  She shot the guy a nervous glance. I guess I should keep the fact that she's my grandmother out of it for now. "Dot, this is Tim. He's going to be doing some renovations to my house."

  "Hi, Tim."

  He nodded without looking, completely infatuated with my grandmother.

  "Go get us a booth, dear. I shall be along in a moment. I need to speak with my…cousin."

  "Sure thing, Cathleen." He moved a few booths down and slid in.

  "He's cute."

  "But stupid. Amazing with his hands, though."

  "Ew."

  "I meant as a carpenter. You need to come by the house and see all that he has done."

  "Why didn't you just use magic?"

  "I did and restored it to perfection. However, the house was ugly when it was built. I wanted something a little different."

  "Gonna have the elves paint the living room?" I snickered.

  "You are an incorrigible child. I hope you understand this."

  Yuki looked like she was going to shit a litter of bats, she was trying not to laugh so hard.

  "I do. Sit for a moment. I need to speak to you, though."

  "I am in a hurry, Child."

  "It's important."

  She sighed and slid into the booth with Yuki. Marge came over and brought our coffees, my Coke, and a cup of tea for Nana.

  "Thank you, Marjory."

  "You're welcome, Cathleen." She scurried away.

  "Cathleen? Not Miss Blackwell?"

  "Well, we were talking one day, and she was struggling with all of those nasty syllables. I took pity upon her and allowed her to address me by my goddess given name."

  Uh huh.

  "So, what did you wish to discuss," she said and took a sip of her tea.

  "What am I?"

  The cup started shaking in her hand.

  "Nana?"

  "I can…not. Do not ask."

  I should have known. Even the goddess couldn't answer me. I don't know why I expected my grandmother to. At least she didn't pass out when I asked. A well-deserved sigh escaped my lips.

  "How did you know?"

  I blinked at her in surprise. "A little pointy-eared rodent told me."

  "How did he find out?"

  "From the simple act of tasting my blood."

  She nodded. "I warned that misbegotten child of mine that you would find out soon."

  "Not even the goddess could tell me."

  That shocked the hell out of her. "You have been visited again?"

  "Yes. Multiple times. She sent me to Faerie. I almost died. But I did get this," I said and lifted the gem I had gotten from King Renlynn out from under my shirt. The gem that had driven him insane and that the goddess herself had sent me to find.

  Her eyes went even wider. "How? Where?"

  "Do you know what it is?"

  "No. But I have seen it before."

  "Where?"

  "Around the neck of your father."

  "When was the last time you spoke to Mother?"

  "Just yesterday. She called to accuse me of stealing her Yule gown."

  "Did you?"

  "Yes, but it looks much better on me. I was doing that old bat a favor."

  "Well, you might want to hide it. We're going to have a visitor soon," I said and took a picture of the gem in my hand. I sent it to my mother with a quick text.

  We need to talk.

  "What did you say?"

  I turned my phone to Nana, letting her read the message I had sent.

  "I wish you luck, Granddaughter."

  "Thanks, Nana."

  And just like that, she and her tea left and went to sit with Tim.

  "I take it you don't know who your father is?"

  "Yuki, I don't even know what my father is."

  "I thought I had it bad. I'm here. If you need a hug or something."

  "After watching you molest that poor little fae fiancée of Josie's, I don't know about all that."

  "Oh, my Night. Would you never, ever speak of that again?"

  "Nope. I like it when you blush like that."

  "I can't believe I did that. I mean, I've never really been attracted to anyone, but when I saw her…"

  "She is cute. I'm not gay, but even I find her incredibly attractive. Kind of like Margot Robbie. Or Ruby Rose. I'd totally do them."

  "Who?"

  "Never mind."

  "Wait. Isn't all this your fault anyway?" She narrowed her eyes at me.

  "Don't know what you're talking about. But, if we were to blame somebody, it's Dar's fault."

  "What did the dog do now?" Chief asked as he sat down next to me. I hadn't even noticed the door chime go off. I'll blame Ruby Rose for that one. She was rather distracting.

  "He told you last night. The whole mating ritual thingy. It's kicked my sex drive into hyperdrive."

  "So, I should thank him?"

  "Or shoot him. It seems to be drawing my focus toward him."

  "You're attracted to a German Shepherd?" He kind of gave me a half-disgusted, half-interested look.

  "Ew! No." I slapped his arm. "That seems to be the only thing that's keeping me from rocking his plane of existence."

  He sighed and held up a finger to Marge. She rushed over and set a cup of coffee in front of him. "You all want to order?"

  "Burger and fries."

  "I meant the ladies. I know what you want."

  "I'll have the usual."

  She looked at Yuki.

  "I can't."

  "That's right, Darlin'. I forgot. Can I get you anything else?"

  "Not unless you have any blood behind the counter," she said with a chuckle.

  "See what I can do."

  Yuki stared after her incredulously.

  "She gave me whiskey once. Don't be so surprised. It will probably be pig, though."

  "Ew."

  "Marge. Served you. Liquor?"

  I looked at Chief, forgetting that what she had done was illegal. "No. It was um, amaretto flavored half and half."

  "Uh huh."

  "You give her shit and you will be cut off. It's just because you were being an ass that day."

  "Oh. Okay. If it was my fault, I'll let it slide." He rolled his yes.

  "Fucking Boy Scout," I mumbled under my breath.

  "What was that?'

  "I said, boy I wish they served trout."

  "Sure you did."

  "So. I found out something interesting," I said in all seriousness.

  "What is that?"

  Yuki kicked me under the table and shot me a glance. I laughed a little. She thought I was going to spill the beans about her and Dar. I winked at her. "The gem I got from the elf king…"

  "Yeah?"

  "Belongs to my father."

  "I thought you didn't know who he was?"

  "I don't. But Nana recognized it."

  "How did the dark elves find it?"

  "That's what I'm going to find out next. As soon as they return Jaeren."

  "You think they will?"

  "I think they better. If they know what is good for them."

  "You're kind of scary when you're all ferocious. Just so you know."

  "Scary hot or scary scary?"

  "Little bit of both," he said and gave me a small kiss. My c
ockles were officially warmed. I blinked and gave him a goofy grin.

  "Now you're just cute."

  "Not so bad yourself."

  Yuki kicked me under the table again.

  You're going to make me puke.

  Shut up. You're just jelly.

  I am, kind of. She sighed wistfully.

  "So, back to the Dar thing," he said. "How do you feel about him?"

  "Dar?"

  "Uh, yeah."

  "Dar is…" I sighed, not knowing where to start or if I could stop once I started. "Dar. He's amazing, funny, loyal."

  "Loyal is a quality for a dog. I meant as a man. Do you find him attractive?"

  "Horns and all."

  "Well, what's one more?"

  "One more what?"

  "Boyfriend. Lover. Whatever we are to you."

  "You want to know what you are to me, Chief?"

  "A pain in your ass?" He chuckled.

  "Everything. Every single one of you. You mean everything to me."

  I swear to the goddess, a tear rolled down his cheek. He coughed and started playing with his silverware, but a small smile forced its way out.

  "So?"

  "So, what?"

  "What am I to you?" I wanted to strangle him.

  "My high priestess, my lover. My girlfriend, my best friend. My reason for not giving up, and the closest I've come to being alive again for so many years."

  My eyes squirted all over my face. I buried my face into his uniform covered arm. "You're the bestest, Hanker Chief."

  "What he do now?" Marge set his burger in front of him but slapped his hand when he went to take a fry. "He deserve to eat?"

  "Yep. I'll even buy him pie when he's done."

  "Good boy," she said and shoved a fry in his mouth. "Bout time you wizened up."

  "Fank you. Vose is hot!" He fanned his mouth, chewing the scalding bit of food.

  "Here you go, sweetie," she said and set a mug of something in front of Yuki.

  Yuki's eyes widened and she sniffed the air tentatively. "That's…"

  "Sush, sweetie. Enjoy."

  Yuki grabbed the mug and started drinking, making little ecstatic noises. I shot Marge a questioning look.

  "A few of the others like to come into the diner… They uh, they gave us a supply of…beverages that we could serve so they wouldn't look suspicious sitting here doing nothing. They pretend it's coffee."

  "Huh. That's kind of awesome."

  "Yep. They even insist on paying us for drinking their own supply. Nice kids. Well, anyway. Eat up. You ever need a meal, kiddo. You can come here." This time she did reach out and ruffle Yuki's hair.

  "Thank you!" She grinned and let her ruffle away.

  My phone dinged.

  I reached down and snagged it off the table.

  There was a single message notification from an unknown number splashed on the screen. I frowned and set the phone back down on the table. Curiosity got the better of me, though.

  There are moments in everyone's life. Moments that seem to happen in slow motion. Or moments that offer such clarity, that everything around you fades away. Moments that you are certain will change the course and direction of your life in a single instance. I was having one of those. My hand shook as I reached back down and gingerly picked my phone back up and slid my finger across the screen.

  Greetings, Daughter.

  My finger shook as I typed, Hello? I was about to hit send when it started ringing in my hand. My mother's familiar Witchy Woman ringtone blaring in the restaurant.

  "Mother?"

  "Greetings, Child."

  "Don't greetings me. What the hell is going on?"

  "I'm sure you have a thousand questions."

  "A few more than that."

  She sighed on the other end of the phone. "I am sure."

  "No, Mother. You don't get to play this off. What the hell am I? Who the hell is my father? Why is he texting me?'

  "He's contacted you, already?"

  "Yes!"

  "I am coming there. Do not contact him until I am with you."

  The phone went dead in my hand. Not just the line. I mean the whole phone went dead and it wouldn't turn back on, even though I knew I had almost a full battery.

  "Damnit, Mother." I set the phone back down and growled at it for good measure.

  "You okay?" Chief nudged my leg with his.

  "No."

  "What's going on?"

  "My father. He messaged me just before my mother called and then she magically zapped my phone. It won't even turn on."

  "Why?"

  "I can only assume she doesn't want me talking to him without her being here."

  My grandmother got up from her booth and came back to ours, sitting back down with Yuki.

  "Nana?"

  "I heard."

  "What is she doing?"

  "I don't think that is the question you should be asking yourself. More along the lines of why."

  "Because she and my father don't get along?"

  Nana let out a bark of laughter. "Your mother does not get along with anybody. No, Child. This is much deeper than that, but do not ask me for specifics. Just know that the truth will come, in time. Be patient."

  "My father texted me."

  "I am surprised he knows how and that he was…free to do so."

  "Can you at least tell me his name?"

  "No. It is not my place, I am sorry. I shall leave that to your mother and him."

  I snarled in frustration.

  "Did you just snarl at me?"

  "No, Nana. At everything."

  She pursed her lips and nodded. "Can't say I blame you for that one. These are all things that you should have learned ages ago. Had he not disappeared, I'm sure you would have."

  "He disappeared?"

  "Again, this is falling into the realms of not my business to tell you. Sorry, Child."

  "It's okay. Mother is coming."

  "And I shall take that as my cue to leave."

  "I don't mean this second."

  "You don't know your mother as well as I. But here, take this. It has served me well, and I no longer have a need for it. You might."

  She reached into her jacket pocket and pulled something out. When I opened my hand, she put it in it and curled my fingers around it, whispering something in Irish I couldn't quite catch.

  "There. It is now yours."

  "What is it?"

  "My broom."

  "Nana!"

  "Shush. At our battle with the demons, it served you better than me. You might find yourself in need."

  "I don't know what to say."

  "Yes you do."

  "Thank you."

  "You are welcome. See how easy that was?" She gave me an exaggerated wink. "Well, I must be off. Tim is going to service my plumbing."

  "I hope to goddess you have a leaky sink."

  "Not for long, dear."

  Chief started choking on his hamburger. I started slapping him on the back as Nana stood and motioned for Tim. He obediently rose and followed her out the door. I opened my palm, stared at the rune covered twig, and smiled.

  "You have a pretty cool grandmother."

  I nodded at Chief. "It's the mother I need to work on."

  Chapter 4

  There was a for sale sign sticking out of the front lawn of my neighbor's house. Herb's name and phone number were on the sign. I didn't know which offended me more. The fact that my neighbors were selling their house, or the fact that Herb didn't tell me. I wanted that house, I just hadn't known I wanted it until I saw the sign in the front yard.

  It was the couple who'd been staring at me from their front porch the other day. The ones who scrambled to get inside and away from me. They would be sorely missed.

  I reached for the phone in my pocket, remembering its untimely demise as my fingers wrapped around it. "Hey, Yuki. Can I borrow your phone?"

  She handed it to me without a word.

  I dialed Herb's number straight of
f the sign while I unlocked my front door. He picked up on the fourth ring. "Hey, Herb."

  "Dot?" Herb's voice sounded unsure through the phone, not recognizing the number.

  "Yep. You're selling the house next to mine?"

  He chuckled through the phone. "I should have known you would be interested. Are you interested?"

  "Hell, yeah. It's gets a little crowded in here."

  "I should have sold you a bigger house."

  "You should have. But a second one will do nicely."

  "You want to see it first?"

  "Do I ever?"

  "No."

  "See. You answered your own question. Now answer mine. Did they bitch about me?"

  "I also should have known that you were the crazy neighbor slut."

  "What? They called me a slut?" Crazy I could live with, slut…

  "Yeah."

  "Wow. That…almost hurts."

  "Sure, it does. You've been called worse by better people, I'm sure."

  "True story." I sighed. They probably didn't appreciate the multiple men visiting at multiple hours. Plus, my bedroom wall was closest to their house. At least I wouldn't have to worry about that anymore. "Are they leaving town?"

  "Pastor Thomas? No. They're moving into an apartment."

  "He's a pastor?"

  "Yep."

  "No wonder he didn't like me."

  "Actually, it was his wife who wasn't too enchanted with you."

  That made me laugh. "Oh, well. Guess I won't be getting an invitation to the next church potluck."

  "I can invite you, if you want."

  "You're a God-fearing man, Herb?"

  "More so than not lately."

  "When the universe shows you what's really out there, you kind of need an anchor, huh?"

  "You got it." I could almost hear him nodding his head in agreement.

  "Well, if you ever need to talk about it, I'm your witch."

  "Thanks, Dot. Not going to laugh at me for believing in God?"

  "Hell no. I try to be tolerant of everybody's beliefs."

  "Bet you wish more people were like that, huh?"

  "Yeah. Saves us from getting burned at the stake."

  "Well, I promise to give you a heads up if I hear anybody saying anything about large gasoline and torch purchases."

  "Thanks, Herb. I'm sure the rumor mill is just grinding them out after the fiasco last week."

  "You talking about city hall?" he asked after a pause.

  "Yeah."

  "I think you might be overreacting."

  "How? I've heard the whispers. I've seen the stares."