Turning the Page

by Andrew Grey

  Hans pressed him back, and Malcolm offered no resistance. The sofa cushions molded to Malcolm’s back as Hans settled on top of him. Malcolm kept his eyes closed, kissing him hard. His body thrummed with excitement he never thought he would feel again. Guilt niggled around the edges of his thoughts, but Malcolm pushed it away and concentrated on being desired once again.

  “Malcolm, open your eyes,” Hans whispered, and he opened his eyes, staring into Hans’s. “I need you to see that this is me.”

  “I know who’s with me.” Malcolm guessed that Hans was afraid he was imagining David. But the way Hans touched him was so different. David had always been very gentle and caring. His touches had always been firm but on the softer side. Hans was different. He was demanding, strong, with an energy that Malcolm had never experienced before. It was erotic, and the banked power added to the intensity.

  “Good,” Hans said and tugged Malcolm’s shirt out of his pants, sliding his hand up over Malcolm’s belly. Damn, that felt mind-blowingly awesome, and Malcolm shivered. “Do you like being touched?”

  Malcolm nodded and hummed softly.

  “I bet you never expected to be touched like this again,” Hans whispered. “You need to remember that you’re still alive and that it’s okay to feel this way.”

  Hans backed away, and Malcolm nearly groaned, thinking he was leaving him like this. But Hans slowly undid the buttons of his shirt, parting the white fabric until Malcolm’s chest and belly lay bare to Hans’s intense scrutiny.

  “I’m old,” Malcolm said as he reached for his shirt to tug it back into place.

  “No,” Hans snapped. “You’re you, and that means you’re just fine.” Hans leaned forward and lightly swiped his tongue up Malcolm’s belly and around a nipple.

  Unable to contain himself any longer, Malcolm lolled his head back and moaned loudly. Damn, that sent a spike of desire racing down his back, making his balls quiver and his cock throb.

  “There is nothing you should be ashamed of,” Hans said.

  “But I’m flabby and….”

  Hans sucked at his nipple, and Malcolm completely forgot what else he was going to say. Hell, he might have fucking mewled. He definitely arched his back, hoping for more. Hans had his own ideas about pacing, and Malcolm was quickly becoming impatient.

  “Take it easy,” Hans soothed and kissed him once again.

  Malcolm wanted to get his hands on Hans’s skin, and he tugged at his shirt, getting it out of his pants, pulling it upward.

  The first skin-on-skin contact sent Malcolm soaring. Hans was heat and energy personified. It radiated from him, surrounding Malcolm with warmth. “Hans… I….”

  “You need to take it easy,” Hans repeated. “No hyperventilating on me again.” He wound his arms around Malcolm’s neck and brought their lips together in a kiss that curled Malcolm’s toes. More than anything he wanted this to continue.

  “I think we need to go somewhere more comfortable,” Malcolm said.

  Hans stopped and sat up, his weight disappearing. “Malcolm, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” He placed his hand on Malcolm’s chest, sending heat through him once again. “I’d love nothing more than to take you up to bed and keep you awake for the rest of the night, but….” Hans paused. “That isn’t…. No, that can’t happen. Not yet.”

  “Hans….”

  “No,” Hans said gently, turning toward the stairs. “I’m guessing that up there in your room is the bed that you and David shared all those years. And I’m also thinking that you and I being together in that bed probably isn’t the best idea, right now.” Hans slipped farther back, and Malcolm felt the distance in miles rather than inches.

  Malcolm pulled his shirt closed over himself and slowly sat up. “I suppose you’re right.”

  “Before you said you needed time and that you wanted to take things slow. That’s probably a good idea.” Hans stood and tucked in his shirt. “I got a little carried away, and I’m not sorry I did, but stopping now before we get into dangerous territory is for the best.” Hans took a deep breath, his full chest filling with air, stretching his shirt.

  “Okay, so what next? I’m completely new at all this.”

  “I’m no expert either, so maybe we do things like people our own ages. We’ll take it slower, date, go to the movies or concerts, talk, and see how things work out.”

  Malcolm nodded as he slowly came back down to earth and everything that had happened that day resettled on him. He’d forgotten all of it for a little while, and while he’d been with Hans, he’d felt light and carefree for a few precious minutes. “Okay.”

  Hans got his coat and returned to where Malcolm still sat on the sofa. He leaned over him and bent close, kissing him gently. “Why don’t you call me in a few days when you’ve had a chance to think things through and get your feet under you? We can go out for dinner or….” Hans grinned. “Why don’t you plan to come to my place on Friday? Do you play poker?”

  “I have,” Malcolm said cagily.

  “Great, you’ll need those skills. It’ll be fun, and you can see some of what I do for entertainment. I’ll call you with details. You won’t need to dress like you just came from the office. Comfy casual works for what we’ll be doing.”

  “Okay,” Malcolm agreed through dry lips and a dry mouth. He finished buttoning his shirt and stood, following Hans to the door. “I know this seems like a strange time to say this, but sometimes I feel really old. But I don’t when you’re around.”

  “Did you with David?” Hans asked.

  “No. He always made me feel young and important. I think I forgot what that felt like for a long while.” Malcolm went into the entryway and waited for Hans before opening the door to see him off.

  “I know this may be hard for you to believe, but I know what you’re going through. I didn’t lose my partner. Troy is still out there somewhere, probably cheating on his current boyfriend with some guy he hopes will be his next boyfriend. But I lost someone important in my life, and I had to grieve for what I’d lost the same as you have. And for a while I wasn’t sure who I was any longer without him.”

  That sounded so familiar. “It’s hard to go from first-person plural to first-person singular,” Malcolm said. “In fact, it sucks more than anything I ever went through in my life. But I went through it, and so did you. Most people I know have been through it at one time or another, and I have to say I think it’s a huge relief that I might be seeing the light at the end of a very long, dark tunnel.”

  “I hope so,” Hans said and lightly kissed him before stepping out into the cold. Malcolm watched him go. Once Hans was in his car, Malcolm closed the door and turned out the lights, hoping he’d just told Hans the truth. He’d been waiting for some sort of light to shine into his life for so long, and he realized he might have missed it if it weren’t for a little luck.

  Chapter 5

  “I’M LEAVING in a few minutes. Is there anything you’d like me to bring?” Malcolm asked Hans as he pulled his coat out of the closet. Malcolm had been looking forward to this evening the entire week. It had been as hard as he’d thought it would be, but he and the other partners had made progress in restructuring and figuring out how they were going to rebuild what they’d lost as well as position themselves for the future. Replacing Gary had been easier than Malcolm had ever expected. It was figuring out their future direction that had been difficult.

  “Just bring yourself over. I have plenty to eat and drink, and I want you to meet my friends,” Hans said with a smile in his voice. “It’ll be fun, I promise.”

  He hung up, and Malcolm put on his coat and left the house. An accident at one of the main intersections tied Malcolm up until he could get around it, and he pulled into Hans’s driveway ten minutes later. Another car pulled up behind him, and as Malcolm got out, another man approached.

  “Sweet car,” he said. “I bet it rides like a dream.”

  “It’s comfortable,” Malcolm said and followed the man up to
the door. He really wasn’t sure what to expect, and when he got inside, he was still baffled. Three other guys sat around a table in the living room.

  “Malcolm,” Hans said happily and leaned in to kiss him. He hesitated for a second, wondering if they should be kissing in front of these guys, but figured Hans knew best.

  “Okay, none of that. It’s not fair to those of us who seem perpetually single,” one of the men said.

  “That’s Erik. I’ve known him since I came to this country. And he’s only perpetually single because he’s a total slut.”

  “I am not,” Erik argued.

  “You’re a complete manwhore,” the man who’d spoken to Malcolm outside said. “And you know it.”

  “No, he’s a slut,” Hans said.

  “What’s the difference?” the man asked as he hung up his coat and took Malcolm’s.

  “A whore charges and a slut gives it away for free,” Hans said, and Erik shook his head.

  “That’s Chris, and the guy over there not saying much for now is John.”

  Malcolm shook hands with all of them. “So what are we doing?” For a second he thought poker, but there were no chips. He looked to Hans for guidance.

  “Game night,” Hans explained.

  “Okay. I’m guessing we aren’t playing poker because there are no chips or cards.”

  “Role-playing games,” Hans said. “We all used to play Dungeons and Dragons when we were in college, and a few years ago we decided to start playing again. It was really a lot of fun, and we all got to exercise our imaginations. We meet every few weeks.”

  “I’ve never played,” Malcolm said, taking the seat next to Hans. “I know a few guys who did when I was in school, and they always seemed to enjoy it. But most of my time was spent trying to get into law school and then surviving law school, so I didn’t really take part.”

  “Okay. I need to get set up, and we’ll get you initiated into the game,” Hans said.

  “He’s the dungeon master,” Erik explained. “Hans is the one who devises the dungeons and directs our play through them. He doesn’t actually have any characters in the game.”

  “I see,” Malcolm said.

  “Some people use characters and models when they play, but we only use a map based upon what we see and our imaginations about what our characters are doing. It’s actually pretty cool.”

  “We can spread out throughout the room, but most of the guys like sitting at a table, so I use a screen to protect my notes,” Hans said as he put up a barrier that was low enough that he could see over it. “Each of the guys has a character or two that they play. Since we’re just a few guys, we have extra characters to fill out the exploration party.”

  “I can give Malcolm one of mine,” Erik offered.

  “It’s not necessary. For this adventure we have a newcomer to our group. I created the character this afternoon, and I’ve given him some interesting characteristics, though none of you will know what they are because you meet him along the trail. Your female half-elf has decided that he’s coming along, and you know how she is.” Hans smiled. “That is one horny elf, so you’re going to need to watch yourself.”

  Malcolm chuckled nervously, wondering just what he was getting himself into. Hans handed him a sheet of paper, and he looked it over. Apparently, in the game, he was a human warrior of some sort, with all kinds of various bits of armor and other things that he carried along with him. Malcolm had no idea what some of it was for, and he hoped someone would help him. Hans explained what some of the things were, and then he began setting the scene.

  They played for a couple of hours and then broke to eat. Malcolm was surprised at how imaginative the game was and how much he’d gotten drawn in.

  “What do you do? In real life, I mean,” Erik asked as they gathered around the dining room table. Hans had gotten sandwiches, and there were plenty of snacks as well as beer and soda.

  “I’m a tax attorney,” Malcolm answered.

  “He helped me when I got that letter a few weeks ago,” Hans said. “And don’t let him be modest. Malcolm is the senior partner at his firm. He’s rather brilliant.”

  “I wouldn’t go that far,” Malcolm said.

  “I would,” Hans whispered as he passed right next to him, lightly pressing to Malcolm’s backside.

  “How is your latest book coming?” John asked as he took his seat once again, watching Hans in a way that told Malcolm there was possibly more interest there than just friends. Hans sat down as well, seemingly not having noticed it at all.

  “Very well. I can’t quite decide what the volcano is going to do, but it’ll come to me.”

  “I thought this one was under water,” John said.

  “It is, and so is the volcano.”

  Hans’s eyes gleamed, and Malcolm couldn’t wait to hear what Hans came up with. He’d been waiting for this one. He was hoping Hans would let him read it when he was done, but he hadn’t been pushing. He hoped Hans would want him to read it.

  “Okay, then,” John said and returned to his food, but he kept watching Hans like he was the real sustenance.

  Malcolm moved a little closer to Hans and wished John would look somewhere else. As time went on, Malcolm became more agitated and actually thought about calling him out.

  “What’s wrong?” Hans asked when the others went to get seconds.

  “Nothing,” Malcolm answered too quickly and inwardly chastised himself for the easy giveaway. Hans bumped his shoulder and motioned slightly. “John has a thing for you, and I think I’m jealous.”

  “John? No way.”

  Now it was Malcolm’s turn to bump Hans, and then he nodded. “He doesn’t take his eyes off you.”

  “Oh,” Hans said. “John has never been a huge talker, especially to me, and maybe that explains it.”

  “He’s a nice-looking guy,” Malcolm said, and Hans bumped him again.

  “There’s only one nice-looking guy in this room that I’m interested in.” Hans winked, and when everyone returned, they gathered around the table once again and resumed the game.

  “THAT WAS lot of fun,” Malcolm said a few hours later, once the others had gone. He carried dishes into the kitchen and then grabbed the garbage bag to make a pass through the living room for anything they might have missed earlier.

  “It was. I know you probably think it’s pretty dorky, but we have fun, and it really helps to keep my imagination sharp. Sometimes I get inspiration for my books from the game, and sometimes we nearly break down into a food fight.”

  Malcolm picked up the few pieces of trash he found and returned to the kitchen with the last of the dishes from the living room. Hans loaded them into the dishwasher and started it. He placed the last of the leftovers in the refrigerator and closed the door. The kitchen seemed presentable, and Hans sighed before taking Malcolm’s arm and leading him out, turning out the lights. “I really didn’t invite you over to help with the cleanup.”

  “I sort of guessed that,” Malcolm said and sat on the sofa.

  Hans sat next to him. “I wanted you to be able to have a good time and forget about everything that’s been going on at the office.”

  “That’s a tall order, but I think you accomplished it. Things are going better than I expected. We’re going to offer a partnership to one of our associates, and I’ve been working on a restructuring plan that I’m going to present to all the partners next week. We need to be more efficient and eliminate as much double work as possible. I also have an idea for bringing in more clients: we offer a reduced rate for our services to new and starting businesses. That way we can help them grow, and once they’re successful, they will be full clients and we’ll have grown along with them. I need to work out the details with the other partners, but this could provide some potential long-term growth.”

  “I also think you might consider setting up a literary specialty. It wouldn’t be full time, but someone who has expertise in literary contracts and maybe theater could pull that kind o
f business from a wide area. I had to look for a long time before I found someone with the knowledge I needed, especially when I was starting out, and it would have been nice if that was local. There are a few writers’ groups in town. If you had an expert, you could probably arrange to speak at their meetings or something to get the word out.”

  “I never thought of that.”

  “Doing things as a service is a great way for people to remember you when they need you and to build goodwill in the community, especially on a personal level,” Hans said.

  Malcolm nodded slowly. He agreed with that, but at the moment he was much less interested in talking about work than he was in the fact that Hans was sitting right next to him, his intense scent wafting over every now and then, sending Malcolm on little heady loops of desire.

  “Malcolm, are you listening to me?” Hans asked, and Malcolm shook his head.

  He’d spent his entire week concentrating on what everyone at the firm wanted, listening to suggestions and grief about the office. He’d seen partners act like babies and one throw a temper tantrum and walk out. All he wanted now was a little quiet, and thankfully, when he leaned closer to Hans, resting his head on his shoulder and closing his eyes, he got exactly that.

  Hans wound his arm around Malcolm’s shoulders, holding him, and they sat quietly as the wind outside picked up, rattling the windows. “We’re supposed to get a storm.”

  Malcolm groaned. “Not another.” He hated the thought of shoveling snow, and he wasn’t in the mood to drive home through a blizzard.

  “Didn’t you listen to the weather?” Hans asked.

  “Not really. I haven’t been home before seven or eight a single night this week, and all that kept me going was the thought of seeing you.” Now all that work and those long days seemed to be catching up with him. “I should probably go home now or I’m not going to make it. How bad is it supposed to be?” He really didn’t want to think about it.

  “Eight inches, give or take,” Hans said and tugged Malcolm closer. Malcolm opened his eyes, finding Hans’s very close to his. Damn, he loved being looked at like he was important.