by Andrew Grey
Hans cleaned him gently before going to put back the towel and cloth. When he returned, he jumped up on the bed, bouncing Malcolm and hugging him tightly. Malcolm seemed to have the answer to the rolling over and going to sleep question.
“You want a snack? I can bring you something, and we can watch TV if you want.”
“You have a TV in the bedroom?” Malcolm had wanted one, but David was always dead set against it.
“Of course.” He got off the bed and opened the cupboard on the far side the room. He brought the remote and pulled back the covers. “Find something you want to watch, and I’ll get us a little something.”
It seemed naughty to be doing this, but Malcolm got comfortable. When Hans returned with a plate of cheese and two glasses, he set them on the table by the bed, turned out the light, and got under the covers. “I didn’t bring anything that would make crumbs,” Hans said. He handed Malcolm a glass of ice water and the plate. Then they settled in with Hans holding him close. The only other time Malcolm ever watched television in bed was when he traveled and was staying in a hotel. It was nice, and after drinking the water and eating the cheese, he fell asleep at some point, not even remembering what they were watching.
When he woke a while later, the room was quiet except for Hans’s soft snores. Malcolm rolled over, and Hans hugged him close. After that Malcolm let himself be carried away on wings of pleasant exhaustion. The pressure, worries, and everything else could stay in their various boxes for now. He could worry about the repercussions, emotional and otherwise, tomorrow. For now he was happy and felt alive, and that would do.
Chapter 6
“MALCOLM, CAN we talk to you?” Carolyn asked, standing at his corner office door. She had William Fisher with her. He was one of their associates, a bright young attorney with an amazing future.
“Of course,” Malcolm said as he did a quick check of his schedule and turned away from his computer. He had a meeting in ten minutes, but Ellen would come get him when the time came. “Please sit down and tell me what’s on your mind.”
“I’ve been with the firm for almost five years and….” William turned to Carolyn, who nodded. “I’ve been told that I’m on the track for a partnership, but I didn’t get the opening when Gary left, and I was wondering why. Is there more I need to do?”
“I thought it best that we address this together,” Carolyn said.
Malcolm stifled a sigh because each and every associate in the office had come to him at one point or another. They were hungry, smart, and determined. That was why they hired them.
“Nothing has changed as far as your evaluation and prospects. This time around you weren’t the top candidate.” Malcolm leaned forward. “However, it’s important that you understand that the easiest and quickest way to be made partner is to build up your client list to the point where you deserve to be a partner. There aren’t a set number of partnership positions in this firm. We can expand them if we need to. Do you understand? You could be a partner in six months as long as you have the client base to support it. Partnerships aren’t rewards or based on seniority, but on what you as an attorney can bring to the business.” He turned to Carolyn, who nodded her agreement.
“All right,” William said.
“We all know you work long hours and bill a lot of hours. That’s part of what we look at. The other is your ability to bring in business to the firm. That’s where you need to grow. The partners passing work your way isn’t what gets you a partnership.”
“I understand,” William said.
“Excellent. You’re a good attorney, and you have the potential to be a great one. That fire you have can get you where you want to go—you just need to aim it in the right direction.” The last thing Malcolm wanted to do was discourage him. Most firms pushed and pushed, but the simple truth was that all of their associates worked dang hard and had the fire it took to be a success. But patience was not one of the virtues they generally had.
William left his office, and Carolyn stood to close the door. “Sorry about that,” Carolyn said.
“It’s not a problem. They all need to know where they stand, and they get antsy when someone else gets what they think they’ve worked harder than anyone else to get. It’s part of what makes them good attorneys. Besides, they need to understand that this isn’t a faceless firm, and the last thing we ever want is another situation like what we had with Gary.”
“God, no. I did think he might have had some good ideas, but they were never presented in a way that was implementable.”
“Exactly.” A knock sounded on his door. “That’s my next meeting.”
Carolyn smiled and got up, passing his clients as they entered the office. Those were his days now—every minute he seemed to have two people who wanted his attention. He hadn’t realized how much juggling it would take to do his job well. Maybe he needed to position one of the associates to take over some of his clients so he could have the time he needed for the rest of his job.
“Congratulations, Malcolm,” Henry Peterson said as he came into the office. Ellen closed the door behind him, and their meeting began.
AT THE end of the day, Malcolm realized he’d worked through lunch and was starved. He hadn’t had a spare minute, and he hoped one part of his job would steady out so he could have a small breather.
“Ellen and I are heading out for the night,” Jane said.
“Excellent.” He looked up from where he’d been typing frantically. “Come in a minute.” She did and closed the door. “I want to put out feelers on getting some help. I need someone I can trust to take over some of my caseload, but it can’t be any of our current associates because they don’t have specific tax experience.”
“What if you mentored one of them?” Jane asked.
“That’s possible, but I already know they’re clamoring for the more glamourous portions of the law—trial law or corporate. I could get a dozen people to fill those areas.”
“All right, but for the record, any of our associates would be a fool not to want to work with you.” She turned and left the office as Malcolm’s phone rang.
“Malcolm Webber.”
“Hi, Malcolm.” He’d recognize that happy voice anywhere.
“Hans.” He couldn’t help smiling.
“Is it a good time to call?”
“Yes. I’m just finishing up and getting ready to go home.” He was suddenly very tired, and his mind wandered to how Hans looked lying naked on the bed instead of the e-mail he was trying to compose.
“Do you have plans for Saturday?” Hans asked. “It’s been snowing, and I was wondering if you’d like to go skiing. There’s a great resort a few hours away. We could go up there and stay the night, ski—spend some time outdoors during the day and in front of the fire at night.”
“Skiing,” Malcolm asked. “I haven’t done that since I was in college.” And he’d fallen on his ass more times than he could count and hadn’t gone back again.
“Then it’s time. Come with me. We can have a lot of fun.”
Malcolm hated the thought of saying no and sounding like a killjoy. “All right,” he answered a little fearfully. The nights in front of the fire part sounded really nice. He wasn’t at all sure about the skiing and cold part. “I wasn’t very good back then.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll teach you. I promise you’ll have a good time.” Hans sounded so happy that Malcolm didn’t want to rain on his parade. “I’ll go ahead and make the reservations and get lift tickets. We’ll need to rent you equipment, but we can take care of that once we get there.”
“What time do we need to meet?”
“How about I pick you up at your place on Saturday morning? We can head on up and ski in the afternoon. I’ll make us dinner reservations as well. It’ll be wonderful. I promise. How’s your week going?”
“Pretty well. It’s been very busy, and I haven’t had more than a few minutes to breathe in days.”
“Then some fun is in order for this w
eekend. Leave it up to me, and I’ll pick you up on Saturday.” Hans said he’d call soon and hung up. Malcolm put his phone on his desk and went back to work on his e-mail. He didn’t have much time to worry about the weekend when he was so busy.
Malcolm worked later than he intended and didn’t get home until after eight. He’d stopped on the way home for Greek takeout and ate it in front of the television. When he couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer to watch the show, he turned it off and cleaned up his mess before heading upstairs. Like he’d done a million times before, he showered and went through his nightly routine before crawling into his side of the bed.
Of course, when he wanted to sleep, he couldn’t, no matter how tired he was. Malcolm kept wondering what in the hell he was doing. He rolled over, facing David’s empty side of the bed. “I know you think I’m crazy for holding on like I am. You always said that when something happened to you, you wanted me to be happy. But am I doing the right thing?” Of course he didn’t get an answer. David wasn’t there, and no amount of talking in the dark was going to get him answers. “I like Hans. I really do. He’s fun and he understands how I feel. Let’s face it, the guy is really smart, but how can I keep up with him?”
In his mind he could hear David laughing at him. Throughout their twenty years together, David had been the adventurous one. He liked to try new things and booked them on cruises and vacations to exotic places. Malcolm went along and always had a great time. So why would things be any different now? He was out doing new things, only with Hans instead of David. Maybe he was getting old, but he didn’t have to act like it. That was for damn sure.
The next few days were even busier, and by Friday night, Malcolm fell into bed, sleeping through the night and not waking until the doorbell rang, accompanied by insistent pounding on his front door. Malcolm checked the clock and jumped out of bed. He hadn’t overslept in a decade at least. He pulled on a pair of sweatpants and hurried down the stairs.
Hans’s expression was a mixture of confusion and anger. “Come in. I’m sorry,” Malcolm said as he ushered Hans inside. “I worked really late last night so I could have the weekend, and it looks like I slept through part of it. Let me go up and get dressed so we can go.” He got Hans inside and closed the door before hurrying toward the stairs.
“Malcolm, it’s only nine in the morning. I called an hour ago to see if you wanted to get breakfast before we left, and you didn’t answer. I got a little worried and called again. When you didn’t answer the second time, I thought something was wrong and headed over.”
“I’m fine. Just sleeping in a little longer than usual.” He wasn’t sure if he should be angry that Hans was concerned that he was so old he’d keel over or pleased with his concern. He decided to go with the latter because he didn’t need any reminders of getting older. “There’s coffee if you want it.” He always set the pot to start in the morning.
“Take your time,” Hans said, and Malcolm climbed the stairs and set out warm clothes before starting the shower in the master bathroom. He loved this room with its huge shower, natural tiled walls, and under-floor heating. It was the perfect bathroom. Malcolm stepped under the water, washing quickly and then rinsing off before turning off the water. He didn’t look at himself in the mirror as he finished up. There was no need. He knew what he looked like, and he didn’t need to see the silver around his temples or the gray on his chest.
When he stepped out of the room in a towel, he found Hans sitting on the edge of his bed, staring at him. The heat in that gaze was enough for Malcolm to forget all those thoughts about getting older. And when Hans smiled and leered at him, Malcolm nearly looked around to find out who else was in the room. Hans was looking at him. Why, Malcolm had no idea, but he was, and there was nothing sexier than being the object of someone else’s undivided attention. Hans didn’t move other than to sip from his mug, but Malcolm felt his gaze on him every second. Malcolm dropped the towel and began to get dressed. He was excited beyond belief and wondered if he could entice Hans into bed. Hell, maybe they wouldn’t actually have to go anywhere.
He put on his pants and shirt before pulling on a sweater, then turned to look at Hans. He had thought ahead far enough to pack his bag. “I just need to get my kit.” He went into the bathroom. “You don’t have to stick close—I’m not going to make a run for it or something.” He got what he needed, then returned to the bedroom.
Hans sat in his same place. “I like watching you.”
“Why?” Malcolm put his kit in his bag and then looked down at himself. “It’s not as though I’m statueworthy or something.”
“That’s a strange thing to say. Where is that coming from?”
Malcolm sighed a little. “It’s how David and I met the very first time. We didn’t date or go out then, but it was the mideighties, and I was desperately trying to get through law school and needed money. I met David when he and I were in the same art class.”
“You took art?”
“No. David was exploring his interests at the time, and he’d signed up for a drawing class. And I was the live model. I remember walking into that class and taking off my shirt.”
“Did you get naked?”
“Not right away, but as the class progressed, I did.” Malcolm smiled and went to the dresser, then pulled open the bottom drawer. He took out a framed picture and handed it to Hans. “This is one of the drawings David did of me.” It was only a torso, and Malcolm knew it wasn’t particularly adept. That class had apparently ended David’s thoughts of being an artist.
“Did you date him?”
“Oh, God no. I was just the model in the class, and while I noticed David because he was handsome, I never approached him, and once I posed nude, I found it best to keep some distance from the students. It made things easier. I met David again almost a decade later, and after we went out, he gave me that, and we shared a huge laugh. He told me that he’d always remembered me.” Malcolm sat on the edge of the bed, holding the drawing to him as he fell into a sea of memories and found himself smiling. “He would try just about anything. Apparently at one point he was interested in sculpture. Thankfully, none of those efforts survived. There are pictures of animals that look like they have three heads and six legs. He said they were supposed to be representational. I told him I thought that had proved that he’d tried LSD, and he smacked me on the shoulder and stuck his tongue out. To this day, I don’t know if I was right or not. There were few things in his life that David didn’t talk about, and that was one.”
“You think he did?” Hans asked.
“I don’t know. Something changed him between the time we first met and when we got together again. He was more serious and…. It’s hard to say. When we reconnected, he was a social worker and I was a hotshot young attorney ready to take on the world.” Malcolm stood up and put the drawing away. “Why don’t we get going?” He needed to stop this trip down memory lane or he’d talk forever, and that wasn’t something he needed to do to Hans.
“All right.” Hans grabbed Malcolm’s bag and kit and left the room, heading down the stairs. “You’re going to need good gloves, heavy insulated ones. I don’t suppose you have snow pants or something like that.”
“I’ll have to see.” David had been an outdoorsy guy, so maybe he’d had something. Malcolm had given away most of David’s things, but after he’d gone through everything, he’d found a large hanging bag of winter gear in the basement, and he’d left it there.
Malcolm got going. He found his gloves, then went into the basement and unzipped the hanging bag in the storeroom. There were a couple of David’s coats and a full-body snowsuit. Malcolm wondered how old it was and then toed off his shoes. He heard footsteps on the stairs as he pulled on the suit. It was a little snug around the middle, but it fit okay.
“How old is that?”
“I don’t know. I remember David wearing it years ago, but I haven’t seen it again in a while. I’m surprised he still had it. The legs and arms are long e
nough, so it seems to fit.” He turned around, and Hans looked him over. Then he unzipped it and stepped out before pulling on his shoes.
“That should be good,” Hans said as Malcolm motioned toward the stairs.
“Is there anything else? I’m assuming the boots will be rented with the skis, and I have a hat.”
“I brought an extra pair of ski goggles for you. Some guys just wear sunglasses, but goggles are really best. There can be a lot of snow and things that get thrown up, and you don’t want any of it in your eyes.” Hans left to make a trip to his car, and Malcolm checked through the house, locking up the doors and turning out the lights. Then he joined Hans in his green Toyota Camry, which seemed stuffed to the gills, and they started out.
“How did you and David reconnect?” Hans asked as they approached the highway toward downtown. From the brochure Hans handed him, they were headed to Devil’s Snow Mountain, north of Madison.
“David worked for a private nonprofit organization that helped families who were falling through the government cracks. They were being sued, and they needed an attorney. The firm I worked for at the time had been asked to help them on a pro bono basis, and I was assigned. David wasn’t my contact, but as I was doing the work, I stopped by one afternoon to ask some questions, and I saw David with a group of kids. He was surrounded by them, and each one was clamoring for his attention. I watched him as he worked with them. When he saw me, he smiled, and then he recognized me and waved. My heart did this somersault, and that was it. I knew I wanted to get to know him better.”