Bitter Sweet Hell (Hell Night Book 2)

by Alex Grayson

  It’s all pointless now, because Jenny will never know. And that’s a fucking shame, which makes me want to carve into Diego just a little bit deeper because of it.

  I toss back another shot of whiskey before capping the bottle and putting it back in the cabinet. It’s been twenty minutes since Eden went to the bedroom. I had her get her belongings the night Jenny was murdered and she hasn’t been back to Judge’s since. Seeing what she did, that shit stays with a person anyway, but I don’t want her to have any reminders.

  I hear the en suite shower going when I approach my bedroom door. Deciding to join her, I start on the buttons of my shirt. The bathroom is cracked open, and not wanting to startle her, I push it the rest of the way open slowly. Dread, anger, and torment take place in my stomach when I don’t find her in the shower, but hunched over the sink, naked, her head bowed and her shoulders shaking.

  She must sense me, because when I walk up behind her and wrap one arm around the front of her upper chest and the other around her mid stomach, she doesn’t even flinch. I pull her back against me and her body sags, physically unable to hold herself up any longer. This is why I’m here. To be her strength when she has none.

  Her broken sobs wreck me. The tears flooding down her cheeks make me feel helpless. I hate seeing her like this. I hate even more that I can’t take her pain away.

  I hold her as she purges out her sorrow through her tears. I don’t say anything, because this is what she needs. Grief and sorrow are awful feelings and the only way to move past those emotions is to let them out, to give them an outlet. Only then can you start to move on. Eden will grieve for a long time, we all will, but we’ll also eventually begin to heal.

  Once her cries have quieted down, I take my arms from around her and pull the pins from her hair. She watches me with bleary eyes, her face red and her breath still stuttering. After I have the long locks loose and flowing down her back, I turn her to face me. Using my thumbs, I wipe away the dampness from her cheeks.

  “Thank you.” Her voice is hoarse and it breaks my heart even more.

  “I haven’t had a chance to tell you yet, but I spoke with Diego’s father the day Emo and I got back to town. We had actually just left his house when I got the call from Judge telling me about Diego’s call to you.”

  “What?” she squeaks. “What did he say?”

  I clench my jaw and leash my temper. “He said he’d talk to Diego. Emiliano isn’t stupid. He knows it’s in his best interest to rein in his son, but apparently, Diego didn’t heed the warning.”

  “I hate him. I hate him so much that I wish he would just die.”

  Guilt makes its way into her eyes at her confession. I’m glad she feels that way, because Diego will most certainly die a very painful death. Whether she wishes it or not. I keep that to myself. Wanting someone dead and them actually dying are two different things. It’s easy to wish for someone’s death. It’s not so easy knowing they will die.

  “Don’t feel guilt for thinking that way, Gypsy. It’s a normal reaction after everything he’s done.”

  She bites her lip and tilts her head to the side. “Why do you call me that?”

  “Because you remind me of one with the clothes, bangles, and the scarf you wear over your hair sometimes.” She smiles a little, and I’m so damn proud of myself because of it. “And speaking of clothes, that shit you have on the bed is a no. I want you back in your skirts, light tops, and bangles.”

  “What about the scarf?” She quirks a brow.

  I shake my head. “You may as well toss all your scarfs. If I see another one on your head, it’ll be too soon.”

  She points her eyes to the center of my chest, morose once more. “I wear those clothes because they make me happy. I’m not really in the mood—”

  I tip up her chin with my knuckles. “You can’t let this change you, Eden. Jenny wouldn’t want that. Grieve for her, miss her, but don’t let what happened make you a different person.”

  She nods after a moment.

  I bend down for a kiss and she rolls to her toes to meet me halfway.

  “Get in the shower. I’m right behind you. Then we need to get to The Hill.”

  She gives me a half-hearted smile before walking into the shower. I make quick work of my clothes and follow behind her.

  THE PARKING LOT IS SO FULL when we pull up to The Hill that we’re forced to park along the road. Jenny was well loved by everyone in Malus. She was one of the few original children who stayed here after the raid, so everyone knew her. She was also one of the first people we told about how my brothers and I were going to handle assholes who like to hurt women and children. She was on board immediately.

  I grab the umbrella from the back floorboard, get out, and walk around to Eden’s side. It’s cute how she huddles against me on our way to the entrance of The Hill so I won’t get wet either. Not that I give two shits about getting wet, but the fact she worries I will, is sweet.

  Leaving the umbrella on the stoop of the steps, we walk inside. The atmosphere is different than it was at the funeral. Light and less bleak. People are obviously still morose, but there’re easy chuckles from the men and soft giggles from the women.

  Spotting Trouble holding Elijah, and Remi over by Benjamin, I lead Eden in that direction. It almost makes me laugh at the look on Trouble’s face and the tight grip he has around Remi’s waist with his free hand. He doesn’t care for Benjamin too much. Before he and Remi got together Benjamin showed interest in her. Ever since then, Trouble can’t stand the guy.

  When we walk up to the trio, I notice the haggard look on Benjamin’s face. He’s pale and looks like he’s lost some weight. He also has dark circles under his eyes and his clothes are wrinkled to shit.

  I feel sorry for the guy. No man wants to feel like a failure. Diego got the jump on him, and because of that, Jenny died. Not that anyone blames him. There wasn’t anything he could have done to save her. He was passed out and bleeding from a gash bad enough to need stitches, for fuck’s sake.

  When we stop in the small circle they formed, Benjamin’s eyes dart away from Eden and me.

  “Hey, Eden. How are you holding up?” Remi asks, her eyes almost as red and swollen as Eden’s still are.

  She shrugs against my side. “Could be better.”

  Remi nods in understanding. “I still can’t believe she’s gone.”

  Eden sniffs, indicating she’s on the verge of crying again, so I change the subject.

  “You never officially met Eden,” I tell Benjamin. “Eden, this is Benjamin. Benjamin, meet Eden.”

  They shake hands, and I notice Benjamin still doesn’t look at Eden. He quickly withdraws his hand.

  “It’s nice to meet you, Benjamin. I just wish it was under different circumstances.” She offers a sad smile.

  “Yeah,” he responds.

  “How’s your head?” she inquires.

  He reaches up and fingers the bandage on his forehead. “Still hurts a little. It should have been worse,” he finished on a mutter.

  I look around the room. “Where’s Leddy?”

  Benjamin swallows thickly, his throat bobbing, and he shoves his hands into his pockets.

  “With her mother. They’re in San Antonio for several days visiting her family. I didn’t want her to come to the funeral.”

  “Is that your daughter?” Eden asks.

  “Yes.”

  Grace appears by my side holding two glasses in each hand by their bottoms.

  “I figured you all could use a drink,” she states and passes them around. We all take one, except Benjamin, who declines the offer and excuses himself.

  “Where’s Emo?”

  Using the hand that’s holding a glass, she points with her finger behind me. “Talking to Mae and Judge.”

  I glance back and see the three deep in conversation. Emo has his arms crossed over his chest, looking like his usual emotionless self. Judge has a couple days’ growth of beard, something that you normally don’t
see on him. He’s always impeccably dressed and groomed.

  “He’s done, by the way.”

  I turn back to look at Grace. “He told you that?”

  She nods. “Yes. He watched the last one last night.” She takes a sip of her beer, her eyes turning sad. “Because of what this Wednesday is, I’ll be staying a few more days, but after that, I need a break.”

  I dip my chin in understanding. The woman’s been through Hell the last week, and it’s only about to get worse. She never complains and is always there when he needs her. It’s just another testament to how deep her feelings for him run. It’s a shame, because Grace is a good woman. She’d be good for Emo. But that part of him was broken by his father when he was still a child. The only girl who could ever tame the darkness in him died by her own hands as a child.

  “What’s Wednesday?” Eden asks.

  I look to Trouble and see his eyes darken in pain. Remi has her hand underneath Elijah, gently rubbing soothing circles on Trouble’s stomach.

  “The anniversary of my sister’s death,” he answers Eden’s question.

  She jerks her head around to look at Trouble, her eyes widening. “I’m so sorry.”

  “Don’t be,” he grunts. “It was a long time ago.” He pauses for a moment. “Emo and Rella were close,” he explains. “He never does well on the anniversary.”

  Her hand in mine tightens.

  Elijah begins to fuss, and Remi turns and holds out her hands. “It’s time for my little man to eat. Eden and Grace, you want to get a seat somewhere?”

  “Sure.” Grace drains her glass then holds the glass up. “I’m stopping by the bar for another. You want a refill?” she offers only to Eden since Remi still breastfeeds Elijah.

  “I’m good.”

  The ladies walk off and Trouble and I head toward Judge and Emo. Mae’s back behind the bar helping Doris and Meryl serve customers. When we make it to our brothers, Judge gestures for us to follow him down the hallway. Once we’re inside the office that Mae, Doris, and Meryl share, he closes the door. Curious what this is about, I turn to face him, just as my brothers do the same. His eyes focus on me.

  “I got a phone call from an old friend in Pennsylvania before the funeral. He’s pretty sure he’s found your mom and brother.”

  My back stiffens and the muscles in my neck cramp. “What?” I ask, because I want to make sure I heard him right.

  He nods. “He won’t be able to confirm for several days, maybe a week, but he’s pretty confident.”

  All the air in my lungs whooshes out on a hiss. When I draw in my next breath, it’s not only air that rushes through me, but pure, raw rage. It fills me up so fucking fast that I become dizzy with it.

  It’s been almost twenty-four years since I’ve set my eyes on my mother, father, and brother. My father died in the raid, but my mother and brother managed to escape. I’ve hunted them for years and have never come up with even a smidgeon of a clue as to where they might be. Every year that went by without any word of their whereabouts, made my anger grow.

  The bones in my fingers creak and pop from clenching my fists so hard. Blood rushes to my head furiously. I want them now. I want them in front of me. I want to see the blood drain from their faces as the man they hurt as a boy stands before them, knowing he’s about to take their lives. With not once ounce of mercy.

  “Where are they?” I demand, my voice sounding demonic even to my own ears.

  “You’ll get that information when it’s been confirmed.”

  “Judge,” I growl, “So help me God, give me what I fuckin’ want.”

  He straightens his spine and it only pisses me off more. “Not until it’s confirmed.”

  I take a step toward him, ready to rip his head off, when Trouble steps in front of me. He places a firm hand against my chest. I glare down at it before shooting my eyes to his.

  “A few more days won’t make a difference, JW,” he says. “It’s better to know for sure before you take off. Besides, Eden needs you here right now.”

  It’s Eden’s name that cools me down enough to think properly. She needs me to protect her. I can’t leave right now even if I did have the address of where my bitch of a mother and bastard brother have been hiding out, in my hand.

  It’s in that moment that I realize that Eden is more important than my vengeance. The pain of something happening to her, of Diego getting his hands on her and gutting her like he did that girl and Jenny, far outweighs my anger toward my mother and brother.

  “As soon as I have the confirmed address, I’ll give it to you,” Judge says, stepping forward. “If you don’t want to wait and Diego hasn’t been dealt with yet, I’ll personally watch over Eden twenty-four seven. I’ll even sleep in the same bed as her.”

  He’s joking, which is strange coming from Judge, because the man doesn’t have a humorous bone in his body. He would never touch her inappropriately, and Eden wouldn’t allow it either, but even joking around about it still pisses me off.

  “Fuck you,” I grit out.

  His lips twitch and the tension leaves the room; or it does Judge anyway. I’m still tense as fuck. Knowing Diego is still out there and then finding out I’m real damn close to finding my mother and brother sends my anxiety through the roof.

  I’m close. So damn close to finding all three of them that I can practically feel it slithering down my spine.

  JW

  The Past

  I PRESS MY EAR TO DAD’S office door and listen carefully as Mom, Dad, and Trey talk. I’m supposed to be in bed when I came downstairs for something to drink and heard their voices. I’d get yelled at for being up, so I keep as quiet as I can.

  “I think it’s time too, Robert. He’s six. Trey’s waited long enough,” Mom says. She’s using her soft voice. The one I like. The one that makes me want to believe she’s a good Mom. She’s not though. She lets people touch me in places they aren’t supposed to, so she can’t be a good Mom, right?

  “The others aren’t going to like it,” Dad warns.

  “Doesn’t fucking matter. He’s mine, and I want him,” Trey growls.

  A shiver races down my spine at the anger in his voice, and I swallow hard. They haven’t said my name, but I know they’re talking about me. My brother scares me. The way he looks at me sometimes makes me feel the same way I did the one time I ran across a rattle snake in our back yard. My stomach drops, I begin to sweat, and all I want to do is run away. I told Mom about it one day, and she just laughed at me and said my imagination was too active. I don’t think it is. I think Trey wants to hurt me.

  I told Judge, Emo, and Trouble about it too, and they said they’d protect me, but Trey’s a lot older and a lot bigger than them, so I don’t think they’ll be able to stop him if they tried.

  “You need to let the other adults know they can’t touch him anymore. I won’t allow it. He’s mine from now on, starting at the next Gathering.”

  “Trey—” Dad begins, but my brother’s hard voice cuts him off.

  “No, Dad. I’m not sharing. I waited like you asked. I’m done waiting. Tell everyone else whatever you have to. I don’t care.”

  My mouth starts watering like it does when I’m getting ready to throw up and my teeth begin to chatter. I know what he’s talking about. Hell Night. The night my parents let some of the other adults touch me and do things to me and make me do things to them. Things I hate doing and things that make me feel sick to my stomach. No matter how much I begged my mom and dad or cried for the adults to stop, they wouldn’t. They’d just say that it was okay. That they were supposed to do those things.

  Trey says he doesn’t want others to touch me anymore, but does that mean he wants to? He’s never touched me during Hell Night, but I’ve seen him watch others while they do so. I hate it. And I think he hates it too, because he always looks like he wants to hurt them. I’m scared when Trey does touch me, it’ll be worse than all the others.

  While I’m thinking all this, they must have stoppe
d talking, because I can’t hear their voices anymore. Footsteps thump across the floor, coming toward the door. Fear has me backing up, and I almost trip. I stayed too long. I won’t be able to make it upstairs before someone sees me. I turn around to run anyway, when a hand reaches out and grabs my arm.

  I try to yank my arm back, but he won’t let me go.

  “What are you doing up, little brother?” he asks. When his finger starts rubbing over my wrists, I get that tight feeling in my throat again like I’m going to puke.

  “I was thirsty.”

  “Bet you heard me, Mom, and Dad talking, didn’t you?”

  I shake my head hard, not wanting him to know I did hear them.

  He lets go of my wrist but comes closer to me. He’s so much taller than me that I have to tilt my head way back to look at him. Using the same hand, he runs his fingers through the hair on top of my head, his head tilted to the side giving me a strange look.

  “You know you can’t lie to me,” he says. “I know you heard.”

  I try my best to be a big boy and blink my tears away, but I’m really scared and one falls down my cheek. He uses his thumb to wipe it away and then put his finger in his mouth. He gets down on his knees in front of me. Even like that, he’s still taller than me.

  “You know I love you, Liam, don’t you?” he asks.

  My lip begins to wobble, but I nod anyway. Trey loves me, Mom and Dad love me, the other adults love me, but if they truly did, would they really hurt me like they do?

  He pulls me to him until we’re hugging. I put my arms around him because I worry he’ll get angry if I don’t. Something pokes me in the stomach and I try to wiggle away from it, but Trey’s arms are too tight around me. He groans in my ear, and I wonder if he’s hurt.

  He puts his hands on my butt over my pajama bottoms. I squeeze my eyes shut, wishing he’d move them away. Instead he begins to rub my butt. Something wet touches my neck, and I realize it’s his tongue. He groans again and this time I know it’s not because he’s hurt.