Pretend Daddy

by Lulu Pratt

  “Are you serious?”

  “Yes. I don’t want to talk about this. Is that the only reason you came out here?”

  “Ashley, I don’t even know who you are anymore. You don’t answer my calls or texts, and then after I drive across town to come see you, there are all these restrictions about what I can talk about?” She stood, placing her hand on her hip.

  “Do you have anything else to talk about? Because I seriously don’t want to hear it,” I repeated, glancing over her head to see Jasper undeterred by our disagreement, carrying on with his Army men.

  “You know what? Enjoy your new life. I guess you don’t have any room for old friends like me anymore. I thought that was the case, but I had to see it for myself,” she said. There was a smirk on her face before she turned to leave the kitchen. I wanted to follow her, but there was nothing more to say. I didn’t have any pleas for her to stay longer or guilt about not wanting details on Nathan.

  When the door closed behind her and the loud sound of her car announced her departure, I felt a sense of relief. Instantly, I regretted inviting her to Jake’s, knowing I’d have to make things right with her. So much had changed in our lives, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t room for each other. We just needed to move a few pieces around.

  Chapter 24

  JAKE

  “HEY, WILLIAMS?” my boss called out to me, using my last name as all ex-military seemed to do.

  I’d just finished my shift after counting down the entire day. I was yearning to get back to Ashley when he pulled me aside in the large breakroom shared between employees.

  “What’s up?” I asked.

  “I’ve got an opportunity for a few more hours tonight. It’s easy money, a kids’ championship baseball game with a big celebrity host,” he said, looking down at his clipboard. I could tell he thought this was a formality, already prepared to add me to his list of volunteers for double overtime pay. He was right, it was easy money and I hardly ever turned down more hours.

  “I can’t today,” I answered without hesitation. It felt like the entire room turned to me, including my boss, as he looked up from his clipboard.

  “Really?” he smirked.

  “Sorry, boss. I’ve already got other plans.” I shrugged, grabbing my bag before heading out.

  “No problem,” I heard him say before moving onto his next option.

  My priorities had shifted overnight. Making the most money no longer seemed to be the main goal. I finally had someone to share it with, and I wanted to do just that. Before I could leave the breakroom, Rick patted my back.

  “I see someone had something more important than overtime.” He glared at me and we shared a knowing grin. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you turn down extra hours.”

  “I don’t think anyone has. The whole room went silent,” I chuckled as we made our way through the hall leading to the garage.

  “I’m glad to see you’re feeling better.” He looked to me with concern in his eyes. He was the only person I’d confided in after the impromptu DNA testing on my lunch break.

  Rick had helped me come to grips with the reality that Jasper might not be my biological son, but it was clear from our bond that I could still have a great impact on his life. I’d already uprooted him from a bad situation, protecting him from danger and neglect. In the short while I’d had him, Jasper was blossoming before my very eyes.

  The most impactful change I’d made was adding Ashley to his life. She had changed everything – giving him the home he deserved. It always bothered me that he didn’t get a two-parent home, but now I had hope that he might get it all in the end. Ashley was special, more than I ever imagined. The way she made me feel was second to none, but even that wasn’t as important as the way she cared for Jasper.

  “Do you know when you’ll hear back with the results?” Rick asked quietly as we made our way to the garage.

  “They said it shouldn’t take long. They’ll mail them.” I repeated the information given to me after the test.

  I still couldn’t believe it all had happened. It was surreal. Even being there in the doctor’s office felt like a dream. It all happened so fast. After a few questions about my health and explanation of how the test worked, he wiped the inside of my cheek with a long cotton swab and that was it.

  “It’ll feel better to know,” Rick added as we left the building.

  I knew he was right, but that didn’t settle the uneasy feeling in my gut. Deep down, I thought I’d always known what the truth would be, but I’d prefer it to never be public information. There was nothing that could change the way I felt about Jasper, and I didn’t want him to ever think I was looking for an excuse to abandon him.

  “They don’t stay kids forever, you know. One day, Jasper will grow up, and he’ll remember who was there for him.” Rick’s words struck a chord with me, because it was all I wanted.

  Everything I was doing was for Jasper’s future, so that he could one day look back on his childhood with good memories. I nodded as we arrived at my truck, allowing my friend’s words to sink in.

  “I’m happy for you, Jake. You’ve found a good girl and you did the right thing.” He patted my back again. Rick was more of a father figure than a peer, and like my own dad, he never shied away from praise.

  “Thanks, Rick. But now I’ve got to get home to my good thing,” I joked before embracing him. He held me for an extra second before releasing me from his bear hug.

  The ride home felt longer than usual now that I knew what waited for me. All day, I’d thought about Ashley and the start to our morning, hoping we could pick up right where we left off. That was, until visiting my mom for lunch and the appointment that followed.

  The second half of my day had been a bit torturous as I allowed the different possible outcomes to play out in my mind. My greatest fear was that Anna-Louise would put up a fight to get Jasper back if the test showed he wasn’t my son. As my lawyer explained it, I would have no legal claim to him, so she would be entitled to full guardianship.

  There was no way I could leave Jasper with her. More than an unfit mother, she was a danger to him and herself. She needed help, and I wanted to give that to her, but the one time I talked to her about getting into rehab, she lost it – cursing me out before hanging up the phone.

  I’d never known Anna-Louise to be spiteful, but she had shown a new side of her since I returned home. The alcohol and depression had transformed her into a person I wasn’t used to. Now, I had no idea what she was capable of.

  It was clear she didn’t want me to take Jasper permanently, despite her current state. So, when I made a move for custody, I needed all my ducks in a row. By the time I pulled off the highway, within a mile of my house, my mind was filled with ways things could fall apart.

  Jasper was too important for me to lose, and I knew I had to fight, but the odds were not in my favor. Pulling into my garage, I felt overwhelmed by the battle I would soon face, knowing I would have to fight alone.

  And then I opened the door to my house, which finally felt like home. Smells from the kitchen spoke directly to my stomach as Jasper raced to my arms. I held him tight, lifting him high in the air as he squealed with excitement.

  For the first time, I searched his eyes for traces of me, desperate for a connection. As I continued to inspect his face, he scrunched his eyebrows suspiciously, and I let out a soft laugh. He was my son, complete with my mannerisms.

  He was running back across the dining room before his feet hit the ground. After watching him return to his playroom, which had grown to include more toys, I turned to see Ashley. She was watching me closely, her eyes poring over my body. She’d always made me feel like she could see me – the real me.

  The first day I met her, I could tell she knew I was overwhelmed without a clue how to care for Jasper. But she didn’t judge me. Instead, she jumped in and filled in all the holes without ever complaining.

  “Hi,” I sighed when I finally had her in my grips. Her s
oft body melted into my hands as she gazed at me with her big blue eyes.

  “I missed you.” She leaned up, offering her lips to me, and I accepted generously.

  With Jasper yelling in the background, narrating a fight between two toys, the world felt miles away. All the concerns I’d felt in the car dissipated with Ashley in my arms. She was the missing puzzle piece in my life. As long as I had her, I couldn’t lose.

  Pulling her tight, I deepened the kiss, hoping she could feel all the passion I felt for her. I was never a wordsmith, but with my actions, I was dedicated to showing her just how special she was to me.

  Chapter 25

  ASHLEY

  I’D JUST WOKEN up from an unexpected nap when I made my way to the kitchen, responding to the growls of my stomach. It was weird being back in my small apartment after a few days at Jake’s. After close to a week without a day apart, we both decided I should go home for a bit, although I didn’t really want to.

  Things were moving quickly between us ever since our first night together. For the first time, I felt like someone was as committed as I was to our relationship. Jake did more than tell me he was there for me, he showed it. With flowers and candy, but more importantly with time and effort.

  His schedule had slowed down a bit, leaving more time for both me and Jasper. He spent most evenings at home, and we all ate dinner together. In a way, I missed them both. They had become so much more than my job. As I pulled ingredients from the refrigerator, I felt the urge to call Jake and let him know how much I was missing him.

  We were both wrong. I didn’t need a break from him or Jasper. I wanted to spend my day off with them, maybe just with a later wake-up time. I was just about to reach for my phone when a knock at my door startled me.

  A smile fluttered across my face as I quickly made my way to the door. It was unbelievable how much Jake could read my mind, showing up just when I’d thought of missing him.

  I opened the door with excitement to see Catharine raising a bottle of wine with one hand and a bouquet of roses with the other. While it wasn’t exactly what I was hoping for, I was happy to see her. In the days that passed since she stormed out of Jake’s house, I’d begun to question my behavior. I knew she was only trying to be a good friend to me, and she did have a point about me not making room for her in my new life.

  I never wanted to push her out or make her feel uncomfortable. She was my family, the one who had helped me through the darkest time in my life. It was a no-brainer to take her in my arms, squeezing tightly before welcoming her into my place.

  “You got me roses? That seems a bit romantic,” I teased her. Catharine was always known for buying the least appropriate gifts. At my high school graduation, she showed up with a gigantic teddy bear that was larger than me. We still laughed about how ridiculous she looked carrying it through the auditorium.

  “Actually, I just bought the wine. These were on your porch,” she held the roses up to me. Before I could take them, she pulled the card from the green plastic holder.

  “You’re so nosy,” I said.

  Catharine smirked before loudly clearing her throat. “I’m glad you’re getting some time off, but I miss you like crazy. Hope you’re thinking of me. If not, these should help. Jake,” she read in a deep voice, pausing before she glanced up to me with wide eyes.

  “Don’t start!” I warned, snatching the card from her hand.

  “You’re like, in a real relationship, aren’t you?” she asked, plopping down on my couch.

  It was so like us to move past the argument so easily. We got on each other’s nerves, fought and forgave each other quickly. There was never a lingering feeling of anger between us, because we both valued the bond we’d built over the years.

  Carefully, I placed the vase holding the bouquet on the coffee table, stopping to admire them. Each rose was in full bloom, absolutely perfect. I wondered what Jake and Jasper were doing, and how I could show them I was thinking about them too.

  “He’s so sweet,” I gushed, falling onto the couch beside Catharine.

  “I can tell you two are getting hot and heavy. I was surprised to see your car outside. I think I was kind of hoping you weren’t home,” she glanced at me with faux fear in her eyes. “I guess I was a bit territorial when I came over to his house.”

  “Umm, ya think?” I teased.

  “It’s just you’ve been so focused on your job, and then it became more than that, and you didn’t even tell me. I knew that day we went to lunch, things were changing with you. And it seemed like you didn’t have any more attention for little ol’ me,” her voice softened.

  I hadn’t considered how neglected Catharine must have felt. We used to do everything together – including attending school. Although we went to different universities, we still shared many of the same friends and partied at the same spots. When I dropped out, I left everything – the in-school and after-school activities.

  It had nothing to do with Catharine and everything to do with the shame I felt about no longer being able to follow my dream. I didn’t want to watch everyone else continue down the path I had to abandon. It was too hard, and while I’d never realized it, Catharine was a part of that group.

  “When I left school, I was humiliated.” I inhaled deeply. “I didn’t want any of my friends to see me on campus, so I rushed to my car, crying my eyes out in the parking lot. Then I watched them all walking by, going to class and theater, or just hanging on the yard. Everything was going on without me, like my participation was never important.”

  Catharine started to speak, but I raised my hand to stop her. “It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t know, and you couldn’t help me through something I wasn’t ready to share. But, you were also going on about life. You still had classes and I didn’t want the constant reminder that I wasn’t in the club anymore. You’re going to be getting your degree in a few weeks, and I’ve got a job looking after a toddler. Our lives have changed so much it can feel hard to find common ground.”

  She didn’t rush to respond. Instead, Catharine just nodded slowly, taking in all I had to say. We were growing up, or at least that was what it felt like. For the first time, we weren’t working toward the same goal, and although it was uncomfortable, neither of us were wrong.

  “Life didn’t deal you an easy hand, Ashley,” she finally spoke, her voice rattling with emotion. “I’ve always pretended to be the strong one of us. I’m a year older, and my big sister nature just doesn’t turn off. But it’s you who has always inspired me. You had dreams from the time we were kids. When I enrolled in college, it was only because that’s what everyone said I should do. But you, you had a plan. You had a dream, and I always wished I had a passion like that.”

  “Really?” I replied in shock.

  She was right. I had always looked up to Catharine, and she was definitely the tougher of the two of us. She didn’t strike me as someone who ever did anything because someone suggested it. Catharine was bold and unapologetic. I’d been following behind her for so long, I guess I failed to notice her paying so much attention to me.

  “Of course! What exactly am I going to do with a communications degree? I think the way I stormed out of your boyfriend’s house is a clear indication that communicating is not my strong suit!”

  We both laughed, me a little louder. I’d never understood her choice when it came to a college major, but like always, I just assumed Catharine knew what was best.

  “How about that? You have a boyfriend,” she smiled at me.

  “Yes, I do,” I smiled back, feeling the warmth in my cheeks.

  “Well, tell me about him! I want all the details!”

  “We’re going to need some wine for this.” I took the bottle from the coffee table on my way to the kitchen.

  I hadn’t had anyone to share the new details of my life with. Catharine was the only person I would trust, so I was bursting at the seams to tell her all about the man who kept a smile on my face. She pulled a chair up to the kitche
n counter and I poured two glasses of the cheap white wine she’d bought.

  It was nothing like the wine Jake poured at his house, but I left out that detail while telling my best friend all about my new romance as she smiled from ear to ear. I could feel how happy she was for me, and together we gushed like teenagers. She asked questions about Jake and Jasper, and I gave more details than necessary. There were never secrets between us, and I wanted it to stay that way. It was like nothing ever happened, and I vowed to never let anything come between us again.

  Chapter 26

  JAKE

  THE SMALL THEATER looked familiar. If my memory served me correctly, I may have worked security at a show there in the past. Tonight, I was with Ashley on our first date without Jasper tagging along. She’d suggested a play she had wanted to see, something I would have never thought of on my own.

  She looked beautiful in the long black dress that hugged her curves. We’d just arrived, and I was already looking forward to returning home with her. Getting out of the house was no easy task for us. Ashley was insatiable in the bedroom. She could go for hours, and as time went on, she only got sweeter.

  “I think it’s that way,” she pointed to a hall and we began to follow signs. Our fingers interlocked as we navigated the maze of a building before stumbling upon the theater. She was nervous. I could feel it in the way her hands began to shake as we entered the seating area.

  “Are you okay?” I asked after finding our seats.

  “I was supposed to star in this play,” she explained with a nervous smile. “Plus, I am used to coming into this space from the stage, not as a member of the audience.”

  “You were supposed to be in this play?”

  “Yeah, I was, before I had to drop out.” I could see the shame in her face. Whenever she spoke about leaving school, a cloud of embarrassment hovered above her. I wanted so badly to assure her there was nothing to be ashamed of. I’d never attended one college class, so the fact that she even began working to a degree was impressive to me.