Pretend Daddy

by Lulu Pratt

  As the hostess led us to the table, a toddler ran through her path and she halted abruptly as the mother embarrassingly chased him before wrapping the young boy in her arms. I turned to make a joke, hoping to lighten the mood.

  “I guess we could’ve brought Jasper,” I giggled, but Jake barely reacted.

  “Yeah,” he said absently.

  When we were left alone at the square wooden table, I was grateful for the loud patrons surrounding us. Without their conversations and laughter, the silence between Jake and me would have been unbearable. Trying not to get too worried, I focused on the menu, reading and rereading the options to avoid eye contact.

  “Hi, I’m Marsha! Do you folks know what you want tonight?” Our blonde waitress had arrived with a thick Southern accent.

  She focused her energy on Jake and appeared a bit disappointed when he all but rolled his eyes at her over-enthusiasm. Even though she was attempting to flirt with my man, I wanted to assure her it wasn’t personal. He was even giving me the cold shoulder, and I was the one he supposedly loved.

  “I’ll have the chicken Caesar salad.” I forced a smile, hoping to cut through the awkwardness.

  “And to drink?” she asked, scribbling my order down.

  “Sweet tea.” I closed the menu, handing it to her as she returned her attention to Jake.

  “I’d like the steak, well done, with mashed potatoes and green beans. And I’ll have sweet tea too.” He handed the waitress the menu, sending her on her way.

  We sat in silence. Jake looked around the restaurant while I studied him. I couldn’t remember him being frustrated before, but there was something familiar about his attitude.

  Then it hit me – he had behaved similarly when I barged in on him and Anna-Louise that first week of work. He had been contemplating how to explain the situation to me, and frustrated by Anna-Louise forcing his hand. It felt a little like intruding, but anything was better than the silent treatment.

  “Did something happen with Anna-Louise?” I blurted too fast to stop the words I knew were better left unsaid.

  “Excuse me?”

  “I, uh,” I began to stutter, regretting my bold decision. “I’ve never seen you like this. Well, other than that time she was at your house. It’s like you’re upset, but I don’t know why. Is everything okay?”

  Jake stared at me for a second, but he didn’t flinch. There was no way of knowing what was bothering him, and I felt clueless, out of the loop. I’d enjoyed our intense connection so much, it never occurred to me how devastating having that connection broken could feel. It was awful to not feel the closeness I had grown accustomed to.

  “No, everything is fine with Anna-Louise.” He paused and I held my breath. “Actually, I think she’s going to go to the rehab program I found. She seems like she knows she messed up and she wants to do better for herself. I hope this can be the opportunity she needs.”

  “That’s good to hear,” I smiled. Jake smiled with half his mouth, which I imagined took a lot of effort with the mood he was in.

  I was truly happy to hear Anna-Louise was on the road to recovery. While I loved Jasper, there would never be a replacement for his mother, and I never intended to fill her shoes. One day, I hoped to meet her on different terms, as Jake’s girlfriend rather than the nanny. I didn’t want there to be any animosity, because it would only be bad for Jasper. My love for Jake had nothing to do with her, and whatever the two of them once shared was none of my business. More than anything, I wanted to clear the air, but with the way he was behaving, I wasn’t so sure that day would come. If I read the signs correctly, it appeared he was rapidly losing interest in me, though I couldn’t understand why.

  Chapter 40

  JAKE

  THE DRIVE BACK to my house was no different from the rest of our date. Ashley had picked up on it earlier, but there was nothing I could do to make her more comfortable. She was right in her feelings. I did feel different about her, but it had nothing to do with me being upset or frustrated.

  I’d been playing back her interaction with my mother more times than I could count. In all my years of bringing friends to meet my mom, she had never given permission for any of them to call her by her first name. Quite the contrary, in fact. My mother regularly sassed my friends, including Justin, for not using the right level of respect, but with Ashley she insisted she drop the formal titles.

  I was blown away. Then, to learn that the two had been carrying on a relationship, calling and texting to discuss Jasper’s birthday – it was unbelievable. This was the life I always dreamt of, having my own family to replace the one that was snatched from me at such a young age.

  It was just my mom after my dad passed away. And she didn’t have anyone now constantly checking up on me. When Jasper came into my life, my mother was apprehensive about becoming a grandmother in such an unorthodox way. The one time she met Anna-Louise as the mother of my son was a memory I cared to forget. Although I had always known she would be an incredibly caring and thoughtful grandma, things didn’t go as smoothly as I’d hoped.

  Ashley was the missing component. She had singlehandedly bridged the gap I couldn’t manage alone. Not only did she provide Jasper with the mother figure he needed so badly, she was also the catalyst for a relationship between my mother and my son, a debt I could never repay.

  Realizing this made it difficult to focus on our evening together, which was a pity since we didn’t get many without Jasper. I looked forward to the times when we could be alone, and I knew I’d ruined it from the way Ashley rushed into the house, closing the door behind her.

  By the time I closed the garage and locked the backdoor, she had already poured herself a glass of wine. It was clear she was upset with my antics, but I wasn’t quite sure how to explain my feelings to her.

  “I know you’re mad at me,” I said, walking into the kitchen. She was standing at the island, looking more beautiful than ever. Her cheeks were flushed from the warm evening weather, her hair a bit tousled from riding with the window down.

  She stood in silence, and then she inhaled deeply, setting her wine glass down before tasting it. She moved around the island so that we were closer, and I could see her relaxing before my eyes. She wanted to hear me out, but she wasn’t going to help me. With piercing eyes, she waited in silence until I continued.

  “Ashley, I didn’t mean to ruin our date night. There’s just been something bothering me and I can’t push the thought out of my mind.”

  Ashley’s expression was tense, like she knew what I was too afraid to say and thought it was crazy. I knew it was a bit fast, but it wasn’t like I had come up with the idea overnight. My nerves were racing as my palms grew sweaty with doubt. The last thing I wanted was to scare her off.

  “Oh, Jake! You’re making my stomach hurt. Can you just say it?” Ashley covered her eyes.

  The irony was, every one of my previous relationships had ended because of my inability to let women in. I was closed off and I knew it, but with Ashley everything was different. I couldn’t get enough of her, and there was nothing off limits between us.

  “It’s not bad,” I assured her. “Well, at least I don’t think so,” I said, my tone less than convincing.

  “There’s never a reason to hold things back from me. I tell you everything.” She uncovered her eyes so that her blue gaze could capture me. “All night I’ve felt a change in you. If there’s something I’ve done, just say it. But please don’t leave me in the dark.”

  “Baby, there’s nothing wrong. I’ve tried to tell you,” I moved up to her, feeling guilty.

  I hated to think of how on edge she must have been all night. She’d tried more than once to help me open up, but I refused each time. Now, she looked on the brink of tears as she sought answers.

  I looked right in her deep blue eyes. “I want you to know, this is not an impulsive decision. I’ve been thinking about this for a while, it just all seemed to come to a head tonight.” Leaning down, I kissed her lips
softly. “I really love what we have going on, but it’s not enough for me.”

  Ashley inhaled sharply, and I knew I wasn’t doing a good job of expressing myself. I’d never been a wordsmith, so I stopped overcomplicating things and told her what I wanted.

  “I want more. I don’t want to rush things, but I hate you going back and forth between here and your place. I love falling asleep every night next to you, and waking up to you is the best part of my day. Would you consider just moving in?”

  I could feel the tension leaving as Ashley relaxed in my arms. A smile spread across her mouth before she lifted on her toes, pressing her lips to mine. I wasn’t sure if it was her way of agreeing to my proposal, but I chose to accept it. She tasted sweet, the remnants of her dessert still coating her tongue.

  Working quickly, Ashley began tugging at first my belt buckle, and then my shirt. Without breaking our embrace, I undressed her as she did me. It was a choreographed dance I’d come to enjoy. Her excitement amused and aroused me, watching her breasts rise and fall as her breath labored into a pant.

  Through the soft fabric of her dress, I held her aroused nipple begging for my attention. Ashley moaned softly but didn’t stop undressing me. She was determined, but I had other plans. Lifting her onto the kitchen island, I halted her mission, needing to taste her sweetness.

  Without breaking our embrace, I blindly pulled her dress to her hips. When I placed my fingertips in the waistband of her lace panties, Ashley obediently lifted her hips just enough for me to slide the damp fabric down her legs. She was sopping wet.

  She whimpered softly when I pulled away to bury myself beneath her dress, taking a few moments just to admire the beauty between her legs. Running the pad of my thumb over her swollen bud, I awakened her desire. Ashley moaned, and I gripped my raging erection with my free hand, squeezing for a bit of relief.

  “Ahh!” she cried when my tongue circled her sweet spot, massaging her clit.

  Her hand fell to the back of my head, eagerly urging me on as her hips lifted to push her pelvis at me. She was so greedy, and I’d have it no other way. At times, I thought I’d created a monster with the appetite she had for me, but I needed her that way to handle my insatiable cravings. I just couldn’t get enough of her.

  “Please, let me feel you.” Her voice was laced with need. I could sense from her tone she was dangerously close to exploding, and I had to taste her satisfaction.

  Releasing my hardened length, I slid two fingers inside her. I was rock hard, so turned on it hurt. My cock curled up to my abdomen, demanding attention, but I had to tend to her first. Ashley cried out at the pleasure. She was so warm and wet, pre-cum glistened the tip of my manhood as I tapped her g-spot.

  “Yes, Jake,” she moaned my name so sexily, and then she erupted, her center pulsing on my fingers, gripping tightly. Oozing with sensation, I lapped her juices with my tongue before her breathing returned to normal.

  She wasted no time, fumbling for a condom from her purse and then pulling at my hips until I was surrounded by her soft, tight flesh. I had to still for a few seconds to hold back my release. She felt too good at all times, but I wanted it to last.

  Right there in the kitchen, I took her over and over, making her cry my name with pleasure as her nails dug deep into my skin. Ashley wasn’t a quiet lover, which made our date nights more special. Hearing how wild I drove her was a bonus, one I never tired of.

  When I finally carried her weak body to the bed, she was exhausted from my pounding. I kissed every inch of her body as she drifted off to sleep, grateful to feel so connected to the woman I knew was my soul mate.

  Chapter 41

  ASHLEY

  MY CLOSET THAT I once loved so much felt tiny compared to Jake’s. I’d always made sure to keep it well organized, with all my clothes color coordinated, but still it felt smaller than usual. I’d already sorted all my laundry and returned everything to the proper place. Even the chair beside my bed was empty, everything neatly folded and stacked or hung. And as I stood debating between two dresses, all I could think about was my half of Jake’s monstrous closet.

  Since I’d been spending so much time there, I’d begun to leave a few items at his request. He hated when I’d have to come home just for more clothes, but I didn’t want to bombard his space. Now that he’d asked me to move in, things were different. Jake had mentioned that I needed to fill up my side of the closet more than once.

  I still hadn’t given Jake an answer to his request, but I think we both knew I was going to accept. I loved spending time with him and Jasper, and my trips home were becoming a hassle. Things were moving fast, but it didn’t feel rushed. Everything with Jake was natural, like it was meant to be.

  I often thought about how quickly he’d come into my life after everything fell apart. It felt like fate the way he landed into my life just when I needed him.

  And Jasper was the icing on the cake. It was Jasper who had first stolen my heart. In a way, I fell in love with Jake because of his son and how great of a father he was. They were a package deal and I loved both of them.

  I’d just finished zipping up the mini black dress when I heard the car horn. Rushing to grab my clutch purse and check my mascara in the mirror, I smiled at my reflection. It had been a while since I felt sexy, but tonight I was reminded of my youth in the tight-fitting black mini dress.

  It was easy to forget I was only twenty-one after transforming my life so quickly. Most of my friends spent their days in class, while I was busy chasing a rambunctious toddler. But tonight, I would be joining friends for the first night since I’d last seen them at school.

  “Come on! Ladies’ Night ends at eleven!” Catharine called from her car, reminding me of the soon-to-expire offer for half-priced drinks. It used to be enough to excite me for the night, but as I walked to my best friend’s car, I felt anything but eager. Climbing into the passenger seat, I forced a smile, though inside I felt I was making a wrong decision.

  Catharine didn’t notice my apprehension as she sped to the bar we regularly frequented. We made it inside just in time to order four drinks each, the limit per order. The bar was more packed than I remembered, and finding a table was impossible. Instead, we stood at the bar with our backs to a thick crowd, finishing our first two drinks in record time.

  With two drinks each left, we made our way through the bar in search of familiar faces. Catharine screamed loudly when we reached a table with a few guys and two girls, one of which I knew she went to school with.

  Thankfully, they made a little room at the table for us to join while Catharine and one of the girls whispered to one another. The other girl I knew, Katy, was deep in conversation with her boyfriend and barely stopped talking to acknowledge me. I could feel the blond guy next to me staring before he built up the courage to lean in.

  “I’ve never seen you around. What’s your name?” he yelled over the chaos.

  “I’m just here with Catharine and Katy,” I explained. The blaring music made conversations difficult, so I tried to end things quickly.

  “I’d offer you a drink, but it’s ladies night, so you get the best deals,” he joked.

  I nodded, smiling as I reached for my third drink. We’d only been in the bar for about fifteen minutes, and I already regretted agreeing to come. It felt juvenile and pointless. We were sitting around a small wooden table, unable to hear each other speak, binge drinking until we were drunk enough to hit the dance floor.

  “Can you still get drinks half off?” The guy leaned into me again, this time with a sly smile.

  He was handsome. If I had met him before, I might have considered giving him my phone number. But now, I was annoyed by his tactics, trying to convince me to buy his drinks for a three-dollar discount.

  “No, but you can have this one,” I pushed my untouched drink at him. He was shoving the five-dollar bill back into his pocket as he chugged the drink without so much as thanking me.

  “You all right?” Catharine asked from my
other side.

  Turning, I could see she was already feeling the effects of the alcohol. She smiled easily, unable to detect the insincerity in my own smile as I assured her everything was fine. The last thing I wanted was for her to feel even more distant than she had recently.

  It was hard for Catharine to accept that so much had changed between us. Most of the things we used to have in common just weren’t a part of my life anymore. She was still living the life I’d been unceremonious kicked out of and now my reality was unrecognizable for her.

  “Let’s hit the dance floor!” she yelled, gripping my wrist.

  Happy to get away from the broke blond, I followed her through the crowd until we found just enough space for both of us to kind of move. Almost instantly, guys swarmed us like fish to bait. Catharine reveled in the attention, dancing with one and then the next.

  But I didn’t like the idea of a guy touching me, so I shut down every advance with the kindest smile I could muster until they all decided to focus on Catharine instead. The night was young, but I was already wishing to kick off my high heels.

  “You’re what?” Catharine yelled, leaning into one of her suitors as he held her waist. I could tell she was attracted to the dark-haired older man from the way her hand unnecessarily rested on his chest as she listened.

  “No way!” she smiled brightly, looking into his eyes.

  Watching her flirt with strangers was like being in The Twilight Zone. I knew I used to participate just as she was. Hell, I loved the scene. But there was no part of me now that wished to join her. My instincts told me to find a way out of the situation.

  “Ash! He says he can get us into The Cove!” Catharine yelled.

  It was the hottest club in the city, and I could see Catharine was thrilled at the opportunity to go. We’d given up after being turned away at the door three times in a row. You had to know someone to get in, and Catharine was beyond happy to have found her someone.