Pretend Daddy

by Lulu Pratt

  “Let’s go, Jasper. It’s time to say bye to Grandma.”

  I couldn’t take another minute of my mom’s unsolicited advice.

  “I thought you had to go to work,” she asked as I lifted Jasper.

  “No, I just need to meet with a friend from work. He has some details about a new gig we might have. I’m going to check it out, but Jasper can come with me,” I explained as I grabbed his bag.

  There was no way I could manage him alone, not with the odd hours I kept at work. I wouldn’t have been able to make it without her. And for that, I had to be careful not to be rude or mean. She was doing me a great favor, so a bit of relationship advice was the least I could accept.

  “Okay, well, let me know what time you’ll be by tomorrow,” she said.

  “Will do. I love you, Mom,” I leaned down to kiss her cheek.

  “I love you too, Jake. And you too, Jasper,” she kissed us both before we left.

  I thought I had found the family I wanted with Ashley, but things hadn’t worked out as I planned. At times, it felt like I didn’t have any family at all without her. But my mom had reminded me that I was never alone. Between her and Jasper, I had a family of my own, even if it wasn’t quite the one I had imagined. For that, I was grateful, and it was with that attitude I went with Jasper to meet Rick on the site of the location for our security gig for the following week.

  Chapter 49

  ASHLEY

  THE ROOM FELT different without the gray cloud hovering above with doubt and despair. The last time I’d been in Dr. Harris’ office, it was to withdraw from all my classes, leaving the university indefinitely. I never imagined I’d be back so soon, but if there was anything the recent past had taught me, it was that life was unpredictable.

  Just when I thought I had things figured out, I got a slap to the face with reality. There were no fairy tales or knights in shining armor. Jake, the man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with, had all but disappeared without a trace. No calls or texts in close to three weeks. I even missed Jasper’s birthday party.

  It was clear he wanted nothing to do with me. In the darkest times, I allowed myself to imagine he never cared about me in the first place. The idea that he had a new nanny, living in his house, taking care of Jasper as I had, left me feeling sick.

  I hated to think that what we had wasn’t real. It felt like the real thing, but actions spoke louder than words, and his actions were nonexistent. You don’t walk out on someone you love the way that he did. And no matter what explanations I could concoct in my mind, nothing could account for his disappearance.

  We were a family, or so I thought. I loved him and Jasper with my whole heart. So much so, that I couldn’t get out of bed for many days after our unexpected break up. It was more than heartbreak, but devastation. My entire world came crumbling down in a day.

  After a week of sulking, I decided I had to move on. It was clear Jake had done the same, and life was going to leave me behind if I didn’t make a move. With tears streaming down my face, I slowly unpacked the boxes I’d prepared for the move to Jake’s. I wasn’t going to live happily ever after in his home as I thought.

  In between unpacking, I scrolled through the photos on my phone, remembering how happy I was and how happy Jasper had been. He had blossomed from a shy and timid boy to the leader on the playground in a matter of weeks.

  I’d managed to get my job back at the restaurant, but I was making only a fraction of what I had been working for Jake even with tips. As I was available full time, I was at least working lots of hours and keeping busy.

  “Okay, that squares that away,” Dr. Harris announced after typing quickly on her computer. Afterwards, the hum of the printer filled the silence as she twisted and turned in her leather seat preparing paperwork.

  “Will I be in the same classes?” I asked.

  Dr. Harris glanced over her shoulder to the printer. “Oh, no. I wanted to go over the grades you received before we discuss your future.”

  My stomach dropped with anticipation. I had never even thought to check the grades of my last semester before being forced to drop out. Unable to continue attending class, I had no other choice but to forfeit the finals, which would severely impact my final grades. For all I knew, I would have to retake all the classes to receive a passing grade.

  My stomach was in knots, faced with another unexpected problem. My GPA had always been stellar, one of the top ten in my class since I entered high school. College had been no different. Each semester I found myself on the Dean’s List without exception. I’d even got a partial scholarship in second year. Dedication was never something I lacked, and it had proven to be extremely valuable throughout my studies.

  When Dr. Harris placed the stack of paperwork in front of me, I took a deep breath. Not only had I had to drop out of school, missing a semester, but if I didn’t pass the classes, I would have to retake another set of classes, putting me even further behind my peers.

  “You know, I’ve been doing this for many years, Ashley. You’re not the first person I’ve seen run into these problems, so don’t feel overwhelmed by the challenge in front of you,” she began.

  I had received enough bad news in my life to know when someone was preparing to shatter my dreams. The look in her eyes was a blend of pity and, if I wasn’t mistaken, admiration. Everyone had always told me I was so strong, but I honestly was sick of being the strong one. I felt ready to break after taking one loss after another. Knowing she had more bad news left me feeling weak. I wanted her to hurry, revealing the awful grades as though ripping off a Band-Aid.

  “I talked to the department chairs and professors as we awaited your pending grades to come in. We all know you to be a great student faced with troubling circumstances, and hated to see you go. Most people in your position don’t return. Dropping out mid-semester can be devastating, because your final marks play such a weighted role in your overall grade.”

  As she continued, my mind wandered, mentally preparing myself for the inevitable bad news. I had been on an emotional roller coaster, and lately I found my waterworks to be unpredictable. The last thing I wanted was to break out into a sob session in Dr. Harris’ office. I tried my best to protect myself from a breakdown.

  “So, you can imagine how shocked we were to see these final grades come in from your professors,” Dr. Harris continued as she slid a sheet of paper across her desk.

  My vision blurred as tears filled my eyes. Not only were there no failing grades, but I had managed to get a 3.0 without taking any of my finals. I would be able to continue as though I’d never missed a class, setting my life back in order, even if only a little.

  “That’s right,” Dr. Harris chuckled as she subtly wiped the corner of her eye. “Your grades were so exceptional before you had to leave, that you were able to maintain your high grades without taking the finals. And because we allow a six-month window for students to pay their balance before officially withdrawing them, these grades will stand. Your balance has covered with your payment. The only thing standing between you and graduation is the hard work you’ve never failed to display.”

  “What do you mean?”

  A tear slid down my cheek as I glanced up at Dr. Harris in disbelief. I hadn’t paid for two more semesters, only the past due balance I still owed. I should have still had a balance to pay before my final year.

  “Your three-year-high GPA earned you a Dean’s Scholarship for your final year, Ashley. I took the liberty of applying for you as I hoped you would find a way to return, and you were the person chosen by the committee for the award. Your final year is all paid for, including a small monthly stipend for room and board.”

  When I prepared not to cry, it was in preparation for bad news. I had never considered I would be awarded anything, or how that would touch my heart. William Peace University was like a family, and they had taken me in and cared for me in ways I never imagined.

  After signing the paperwork and giving a big hug to D
r. Harris, I left her office feeling more like myself than I had in weeks. Everything wasn’t falling apart. Instead, it was rebuilding stronger than ever. I was believing in myself, and miracles, again as I walked across the campus with pride.

  Just when I thought things couldn’t get better the sound I’d missed so much it hurt startled me. I couldn’t believe my ears as the squealing laughter got louder and louder until his little arms wrapped around my leg.

  “Ashley! Ashley! You here!” Jasper yelled, his bright smile brightening my day further. I lifted him into my arms, hugging him tightly as my eyes closed with gratitude.

  “My sweet baby!” I’d missed him so much, it felt like a dream to hold him again. Sprinkling his cheeks with kisses, I tried to make sense of the surprise. “What are you doing here, sweetie?”

  “Daddy working!” he yelled pointing behind me.

  I turned to see Jake, which felt like a blow to my chest. He was watching us from afar with a small smile dancing on his lips. I could see from the dark patches beneath his eyes, I wasn’t the only one in mourning. He was still devastatingly handsome, but I noticed the change in his demeanor instantly.

  He walked up to me and I felt my knees wanting to buckle.

  “Do you think we can talk?” I finally found my words.

  “I think we have to,” Jake said, his face now stern and serious.

  Chapter 50

  JAKE

  I WAS GRATEFUL for Rick meeting me at the campus to discuss the upcoming security schedule for some events at the college, because I needed to get serious about work.

  I hadn’t been there since I’d taken Ashley on that date and the time before to post the notices about the nanny position. Rick proved to be even more useful when my eyes landed on Ashley, her beauty even more impactful than I remembered.

  Jasper sprinted to her before I could make sense of his toddler vocabulary. Seeing her take him in her arms and the clear love they had for each other reignited the guilt I had been battling. I’d snatched her from his life without so much as an explanation that he deserved. And I’d never even considered how it must affect her.

  Losing Jasper had been one of my greatest fears before I was granted custody of him. Now, as I sat across from the table with Ashley, I understood I had done just that to her. The hurt in her eyes reflected my own and I felt responsible, at least in part for her pain.

  Rick had volunteered to walk Jasper around the campus, affording us a little privacy, when he saw us locked in a gaze. It had only been three weeks since I’d seen her, but she looked more mature than ever. Wearing a knee-length sundress, her hair fell in waves down her back, as she nervously tucked loose strands behind her ear.

  “I don’t know where to begin,” I admitted.

  “What are you doing here?” she asked.

  “Planning for some security events in the coming months. What are you doing here?”

  “Re-enrolling.”

  “But I thought you couldn’t afford it.”

  “Let me explain,” she calmly volunteered. I watched her take a deep breath as I steadied myself for a truth I wasn’t sure I was ready to handle.

  I waited for the inevitable blows to my ego, explaining how and why I wasn’t enough for her. Though I doubted it would be enough to sway me, I thought she deserved a few minutes to explain herself.

  “When my dad died, I was left on my own,” she said, waving her hand like the small detail wasn’t important. “Catharine has been my best friend for as long as I could remember. She has taken me in as a little sister, even more so when my father passed. She looks out for me and stands up for me when I’m too afraid to stand up for myself.”

  I gritted my teeth at the mention of her friend’s name. She had been the one there the day everything fell apart. Subconsciously, I blamed her as much as I blamed Ashley.

  “Nathan is my ex-boyfriend. We went to high school together, but we weren’t friends. He randomly started showing up after my father died. I didn’t think much of it, because a lot of people did that. It was like charity, helping the orphan girl with no one to turn to.” She nervously smiled.

  It was impossible for me to see the girl she was describing. Ashley had never struck me as pitiful or in need of any type of charity. She was strong and commanding, more than capable for standing up for herself. But I clenched my mouth shut, trapping my words so she could continue.

  “My dad’s final wish was that I go to college. I had always wanted to be an actress, or at least work in the industry. I love everything about theater, from the designs of the posters, to the character development in plots, to the small details like lights in production.”

  Ashley’s voice lowered as she continued.

  “So, he made sure to encourage me before he passed away. His sickness was sudden, but he had enough time to tell me how much he loved me. He wanted the best for me, and I promised him I would follow through with his vision.”

  She paused, swallowing slowly, as she fought back emotions. I knew how difficult it was to lose a parent, so I reached out, placing my hand over hers. It appeared to give her strength as she took a deep breath before she shared more.

  “Well, I did just as he wanted. I enrolled in school and was doing well. Nathan and I had gotten serious, but he wasn’t as sure about what he wanted to do with his life. He didn’t have the drive or passion that I had, but I wanted him to. I felt like it was my job to help him. I had never been in a serious relationship before, so I thought the things he did were normal.”

  She paused for a second and drew another deep breath.

  “Nathan didn’t make me feel special. I thought that had a lot to do with his lack of direction, so I tried encouraging him to be better and find his path. One day, he came to me with a plan for going to college. I thought it was awesome. He could get a degree and find a better job. I wanted to help him in any way I could.”

  I could sense the story was about to take a turn for the worse when her chin began to quiver. I wanted to hold her, pulling her into my body, but I waited in silence with my hand still covering hers.

  “He knew I had gotten this inheritance. It was enough for me to pay for my school and take care of myself,” she continued. I could feel my chest tighten with guilt and empathy. I knew where she was going before the words left her mouth.

  “He had money coming in from an insurance payout, or so he said. I trusted him and loaned him everything I had at the time to help him follow his dream. But Nathan never planned to go to school. It was all a scam, and I eventually learned the truth. When I confronted him, he didn’t care. He laughed. When I think back on it, I’m sure my inheritance, or chance of one, was the only reason he started coming around in the first place.”

  My heart broke for her, realizing how much she had gone through in her short life. I was always so concerned with my own battles, I’d never stopped to consider what she was going through.

  “Well, Catharine wasn’t having it,” she huffed as one side of her mouth curved into a smile. “I didn’t tell her the truth about Nathan’s scam until I dropped out of college. She knew I promised my dad I would go, so she took it as hard as me. She was livid! But I had the interview with you that same day, and I kind of felt I just had to move forward. Nathan had beat me, swindled me out of everything, and all I could do was start over.”

  I swallowed hard, realizing how I had misjudged Catharine. She had reacted just as I wanted to. Now, my only regret was not hurting Ashley’s ex-boyfriend more when I had the chance.

  “When I started working for you, I let everything from my past go. I felt like I had a new chance. Different, but better. I loved Jasper from the moment I saw him. I didn’t miss school or my old life. I genuinely loved being around you two. It was the first time I’d ever felt like I had a family. But Catharine couldn’t let it go. She was determined to get revenge. So, she started this plot, contacting him from a fake profile. When she told me I thought it would never work, so I didn’t give it much concern. In retrosp
ect, I wish I had been more direct about not wanting her to do it. Though, I’m not sure she would have listened. Anyway, every now and again she would update me on her plot. ‘Oh, Nathan responded.’ Or, ‘I’ve got him right where I want him.’ Stuff like that. I didn’t pay it much attention, because to be honest, I was lost in my new life. Nathan felt like a bad dream, and at times Catharine was even more of a distant memory than my closest friend. We were growing apart fast.”

  It was something I had feared when Ashley began spending so much time with me. She was growing away from her old friends, and I’d never meant to do that. But how could she manage both when I all but locked her away? I felt partially responsible the rift between her and her friend, which played a big role in the whole plot against her ex.

  “I’d just left the doctor when Catharine called me panicked. She was screaming, telling me to get to my dad’s old shop. Only a few weeks prior, she taken me there determined to make it a special place for us. We were raised in that shop, always following my dad, finding trouble.”

  She paused and pushed her hair back behind her ear.

  “I had no idea what I was walking into. She didn’t give me any details. I didn’t even know Nathan would be there. But he was, and he was full of rage. I’d never seen him violent, but I am absolutely sure if you didn’t show up…” she paused, out of breath as her hand went to her chest.

  “I don’t even want to think of that,” I finally found my voice.

  I’d lost a lot of sleep thinking of what could have happened to her if I didn’t show up when I did. That guy was full of rage, and it was clear he wanted to hurt her. Now, knowing the full truth, I felt awful for abandoning her the way I had.

  “Ashley, I’m sorry,” I reached across the table, holding her hand with both of mine now. I needed her to know how much I cared and how badly I felt.

  “It needed to be out in the open. I never wanted any secrets between us, I just never thought my past would play such a huge role in our present,” she said.