The Virgin Romance Novelist Chronicles

by Meghan Quinn

  “You really think so?”

  “Yes, you just have to find the right guy first.”

  “So you think one-night stands are out of the question right now?”

  He cringed as he thought about my question. “Do I want you to be a virgin forever now that I know you are? Well, yes, because that means you’re still innocent, untouched, my sweet Rosie. But if you must go to the dirty side”—he flashed me a grin—“then I would prefer for you to be in a relationship.”

  “And when did you become my dad?” I teased.

  “Not your dad. Just an over protective and concerned best friend.” He ran his hand through his hair and said, “I don’t know, Rosie. Ever since Delaney said you were a virgin, I haven’t stopped thinking about how innocent you really are, and it’s pulled at my heart. I love you the way you are, and I don’t want you to change. I don’t want some dickhead coming in here and corrupting you. Who you are now is perfect.” It was cute how distraught he was. He gripped my chin and spoke earnestly . . . and my pulse picked up from his proximity. Why did he have to smell so good? “You’re just so damn perfect.” He was wrong, of course. If I were perfect, if I were as amazing as he thought I was, surely I wouldn't still be a virgin. I wouldn't be the only one in this apartment who was looked at with pity. Just like now.

  Taking a steady breath, I said, “Thank you, Henry, but a part of me doesn’t like who I am. You and Delaney have these great jobs, and I’m stuck dodging hairballs and feral cats every day at work, wondering if I’m going to get sprayed and claimed by Sir Licks-a-Lot or not. Ever since I can remember, I’ve been writing stories, and now that I’m out of college and have a chance to make something of myself, I’m not doing it. I want to write this book, finish it, and be proud of myself, but I’m kind of stuck when it comes to the whole sex part.”

  “Then why do you have to have sex in the book? It’s not a requirement.”

  “No, it’s not, but when I read a book without sex, I feel like I’m missing that connection between the characters. Call me a pervert but I think sex in a book is not only about getting all hot steamy. It’s about seeing the characters form this bond that is undeniable. Sometimes it’s just about the buildup. The tension. The building excitement, you know?”

  “I do and believe me, the last thing I would call you is a pervert. Why don’t you try reading some of the new contemporary books I added to your Kindle rather than the stale ones your mom sent your way?”

  “I’ll start one tonight, but I still feel like I need to know what an orgasm feels like. What a penis looks like in real life, to really do my books justice. Writing from experience is always so much easier.”

  “You haven’t even seen a real-life dick?” He was genuinely perplexed by me.

  Blushing, I shook my head. “Nope. I’ve only seen,” I cleared my throat and said, “ones on the internet.”

  As if I just told Henry my nipples popped off at night and performed their own burlesque show, his mouth hung open in shock.

  “You’ve watched porn?” Henry’s voice broke at the end of his sentence.

  “No, just seen some things.”

  “Wait. So you’ve never watched porn, you haven’t seen a dick in real life, and you haven’t even as much as touched one outside a pair of jeans?”

  “No,” I confirmed while shaking my head.

  “Well, shit. Do you want to see mine?” he asked, grabbing the waistband of his sweats.

  “Henry! No,” I squealed while covering my eyes. Heat raced up my back from the near exposure in the middle of the living room.

  Laughing he said, “If you haven’t even seen a real penis, how do you expect to describe one in a book?”

  “I’m working on it,” I answered quickly, still feeling the heat in my body from Henry’s fake out.

  Silence fell upon us, and when I looked at the expression on his face, I began to worry. It was never good when Henry starting thinking about things.

  “I don’t mind showing you my dick, Rosie. It could be for experimental purposes. Science. Although, it wouldn’t be very fair to all the other men you’ll probably see, since I’m so big and girthy.”

  A snort escaped my nose. “Full of yourself much?”

  “Not full of myself if it’s the truth.”

  “I’m not going to look at your dick for science.” I giggled. God all I could imagine is Henry spread across the couch, penis pulled out of his pants, me with a lab coat and magnified glass hovered over him—not that I would need the magnified glass according to him.

  “Well, at least let me show you some porn. I can walk you through it, like a football player and his coach. We can pause, and I can talk about positions, erections, and all the erogenous zones you should be aware of. We can watch on my tablet.”

  Oddly, that idea sounded appealing to me.

  “Why am I even considering this right now?”

  “I’m going to take that as a yes.” Henry leaned over, kissed the top of my head, and said, “Be right back, love.”

  I watched his well-defined backside run off to this room while convincing myself it was okay to check out your friends. I’d caught him do the same thing to me on multiple occasions.

  Eyes on my breasts.

  Eyes on my lips.

  Eyes on my . . . backside.

  It’s quite alright if I returned the same kind of once over every now and again.

  Seconds later, he was back in the living room, holding his tablet and sporting a huge smile on his face. That look, the one where his eyes were filled with mischief, I could see it, he was about to introduce me to a entirely different world and he was brimming excitement about it.

  He plopped on the couch next to me, snuggling in close. “I subscribe to a classier porn site that won’t be too bad to watch for a newbie like you.”

  “You have a subscription?” I asked a little dumbfounded. “Why? You have a girl with you almost every night.”

  Absentmindedly, he shrugged his shoulders and said, “Some girls like to watch porn while we have sex, so I thought it might be nice to have a subscription rather than search the Internet for something while in the heat of the moment.”

  “Women actually like to have sex while watching porn?” I gulped, thinking I didn’t ever believe I would be one of those women.

  “You would be shocked, Rosie. You might even like it.”

  “Doubt it,” I said like a snob, hating myself.

  Henry leaned against the couch armrest, as he sat and placed his one leg behind me so I had to lean against his chest.

  “Come here. I’ll hold the tablet in front of us while we watch.”

  Always loving a good Henry snuggle, I leaned against his chest and propped my knees up so he could rest the tablet on them while he held it steady. He leaned into my ear and spoke softly.

  “Student-teacher or businessman-secretary porn?”

  “Secretary,” I said quickly. “Don’t know about the student-teacher thing.”

  “Don’t knock it, it’s hot. You’ll open up more, trust me. Once you get your fingers wet . . . Oh wait, you already did that today.” He laughed.

  “Henry.” I elbowed him in the stomach, causing him to buckle over dramatically. “Can we please drop it?”

  “Your vagina sure did.”

  “I hate you.”

  His chest rose and fell as I felt him laugh against my back.

  “I’m sorry. I just wish I was there while you were jumping up and down trying to extract the lodged bullet.”

  “Did you ever consider I was severely terrified that I would have it stuck up me forever?”

  “Were you?” he asked, his voice softening a little.

  “More embarrassed than anything.”

  “You live and you learn, love. Now, let’s get down to business.” He opened up an app and started searching for a video for us to watch.

  “There’s an app for your porn?”

  “Yeah, makes it so much easier to watch.”

&
nbsp; Of course it was easier, I thought to myself, as I watched Henry look for the video he wanted. Any porn website would want to make it easier for people to watch. It was actually kind of genius, to have an app for porn, and the tricky designers didn’t make the icon for the app seem like it was porn. It was just a movie reel, clever.

  “Oh, the girl is hot in this one.”

  “What about the guy?” I asked, finally feeling a little comfortable, thanks to Henry’s warm embrace. I wouldn’t want to be watching porn with anyone else. Henry made it easy.

  “He has a good-sized dick for you to learn from.”

  “Oh, lovely.”

  “Now lean back and relax. We’re going to have a little lesson in the art of fucking.”

  The screen went black and music started to play. The camera zoomed in on a skyline of New York, making it almost seem like the actual flick was classy, that was until the CEO, the main character, popped on screen with a naked lady on his desk.

  “Oh, they just get right into it, don’t they?”

  Chuckling, Henry said closely to my ear, “Were you expecting a little romance before?”

  “Well, it would have been nice.”

  “I can romance you later, love.” He spoke ever so softly as his lips caressed my ear. The intimate gesture excited me and yet, threw me off at the same time. The way he said love—it sounded so genuine—made my toes tingle.

  Ever since freshman year in college, I’d always harbored a little crush on Henry. I mean, how could I not? He was the most handsome man I’d ever met and my infatuation soon became a crush, which thankfully turned into a real friendship. His nickname for me was love, because he knew that’s what I believed in. Everything about me revolved around love. I was a romantic at heart and loved love, simple as that.

  But the intimate setting we were enveloped in had me second-guessing the way he said my name, which was crazy because out of all the women Henry would consider dating, I’d be the last on his list. I by no means thought I was ugly, because I knew genetically I wasn’t, but I had slight curves and a retro style that was more I love Lucy rather than skanky-club sex kitten, the typical girl Henry went for.

  “Are you paying attention?” Henry asked, disrupting my thoughts.

  “Yup, looks like he’s about to do her.” I focused in on the screen. “Wow, look at her nipples.”

  They were like torpedoes lifting off her chest, ready to take down her seaworthy enemy. I had never seen anything like them. Long and thick, yowzah! I had good-sized breasts but my nipples weren’t poking people in the eyes when I was cold like this woman.

  “What’s wrong with them?” he asked, confused.

  “They’re so big. I guess I’m just used to my nipples, which are significantly smaller than those . . . those tweeters.”

  “Tweeters?” He paused the video and laughed a deep laugh.

  “They’re the size of my Chapstick. Seriously, look at them.”

  “What do your nipples look like?”

  “You know,” I said while I held up my hand and made a small circle with my forefinger and thumb. “Nipples.”

  Henry inspected my fingers for a decent amount of time and then said, “Rosie, that’s hot. You’ve got small little nipples. Let me see them.”

  “No.” I swatted him from behind as he continued to laugh.

  “Tit for tat? My penis for your nips.”

  Is he insane?

  “Can we just watch the film?”

  “Porno is more like it,” he said as he snuggled me in closer. “Now pay attention. This is a learning experience.”

  The “film” proceeded and the CEO walked around the table, surveying the woman spread naked across his desk with her torpedo nipples sticking straight in the air. Corny music played in the background, fulfilling all my expectations and generalizations I had about porn as the CEO rattled off some heavy innuendos.

  The minute the man walked all the way around the desk, his lower half came into view and that’s when I saw his massive erection.

  “Oh my God, is that a boner?”

  Containing his laughter, he paused the film again and circled the man’s dick with his finger. “You see this, love? This is called an erection and this right here”—he circled the lady’s vagina—“this is where he will be sticking that erection.”

  “Henry, I’m not an idiot.”

  “All right, just wanted to make sure. In my defense, you did get a vibrator stuck in your vagina today.”

  “Drop it,” I said but then laughed . . . only a little.

  I watched in fascination, my eyes glued to the tablet as the CEO slowly took off his clothes while rubbing the silk of his tie against the woman’s body. It was actually kind of hot, to see the way the woman reacted to the man’s small touches and the way the man was completely satisfied with how he was making his woman feel. Her nipples puckered, her skin broke out in a sweat, her body writhed.

  And all of a sudden, it felt like I was sitting in a sauna, heat scorched through my every limb, igniting a low thumb between my legs.

  I was entranced, dare I say it, turned on?

  The CEO moved his hand down his flat stomach, right above his erection, the tip bobbed just below his large palm. Just one more inch . . .

  Henry pressed pause and a loud groan popped out of my mouth.

  “What are you doing?” I asked, looking over my shoulder.

  “Just thought you needed a water break. Pretty sure your tongue was hanging out.”

  “It was not.” I wiped my face just to make sure.

  He chuckles. “Yeah . . . okay.” He cleared his throat and said, “All right, love. Are you ready for this next step? Things are going to get pretty serious.”

  “Just play it. I can handle what happens next.”

  “Okay, but if you get scared, you can always wrap your little arms around me. I wouldn’t mind one bit.” Henry can be so weird. Sweet, but weird.

  I mean what could I really get scared about?

  “Noted, now continue.”

  He pressed play and we both watched as the man turned around and took his boxers off, giving the camera a great display of his ass, which was actually pretty nice to look at. I’d always considered porn stars to be quite nasty in appearance with their climatic O faces and lewd gestures but this guy was kind of hot.

  Within seconds, the view of his ass was rotated to a full frontal scene of him ruthlessly jerking off. Oh dear God, that’s aggressive.

  “Sweet molasses monks,” I mumbled as I leaned forward for a better look. “Are dicks really that big?”

  “Not for an average man but for us gifted ones, yes.”

  I gave him a pointed look then turned back around. Men. That was one thing I did know about them; they were always bragging about their dicks. That was something I actually wanted to find out about: why were men so envious about their members? It wasn’t like ladies went around purposefully giving themselves camel toes to show off how big their lady folds were. Blech. The mere thought of prancing camel toes in the streets of New York had me dry-heaving. No matter who you were, no one could pull off the outlandish-cupping of a lady’s crotch.

  I focused back on the tablet where the man continued to jerk off. “Is that normal? For a guy to fondle himself in front of a woman?”

  “Sure, why not? It’s usually a turn-on for a girl, to see a guy get off just from their naked body.”

  “Hmm, I guess that could be reassuring, to know that the guy thinks your attractive. Yeah, that is kind of hot.”

  “That a girl, love, getting into the spirit of things. Next thing you know, you’ll be twiddling yourself to one of these clips.”

  “Don’t count on it.”

  Yawning, I covered my mouth as I leaned my head against Henry’s shoulder.

  “You tired?” he asked, lips barely caressing my ear.

  “Yeah, just a little.”

  Pausing the film and setting his tablet to the side, he wrapped his arms around me and said, �
�That’s enough learning and sexual experiences for you today. How about we pick this up another night? We tangoed with foreplay, how about another night we actually tackle insertion?”

  “What an odd thing to say, but it sounds like a plan.”

  Reluctantly, I pulled away from Henry’s warm embrace and got up from the couch. I pulled up my hot pink sweat pants and pulled down my oversized T-shirt. I adjusted my glasses and looked at Henry, who literally looked like perfection with his styled hair and tanned skin that no man should have living in the city.

  “God, I look like a trash bag compared to you.”

  “You look adorable.” He got up off the couch and pulled me into a hug. “Don’t let anyone tell you differently.” He paused and then said sincerely, “Sorry your vibrator got stuck in your vag today.”

  “Sorry you missed me jumping up and down in a sumo squat to get it out.”

  “You’re forgiven.” He chuckled and kissed the top of my head. “See you in the morning, love.”

  “Don’t forget to make the coffee. I’m going to need it.”

  While I got ready for bed, I thought about the new adventure I was embarking on. I was already starting to feel a little randy, so maybe soon enough I would be able to say the P-word out loud without blushing and look at a man’s penis without giggling like a little schoolgirl. I could start to feel maturity set in. Hopefully my date Friday night would be the beginning of a new relationship. It had potential, the guy liked swing dancing, and he had to be nice if he didn’t mind dancing all night with a stranger. At least that’s what I hoped.

  When I got in bed, I noticed I had a text message.

  Delaney: Wax appointment, tomorrow after work. Time to mow down the bush, babe.

  Oh hell.

  There was one thing I had to be grateful for. Even though it was mortifying, I was glad my friends were trying to help me in my endeavors to de-virginize myself. If I was on my own, who knows who I’d be seeing and what I might be sticking up my vagina? Without them, I might very well still be making out on my arm to the thought of my latest book boyfriend while casually thrusting my hips into my mattress, just hoping that a penis would sprout up for me to hump against.