Loyal

by Scarlett Haven

  The four guys continue to look at me, not giving me any kind of reaction. So I continue.

  “He didn’t answer, so I left a message,” I say. “I don’t even know if he will call me back. It felt... weird to call. But I wanted answers.”

  “It’s understandable that you’d want answers,” Austin says. “If our roles were reversed, I would want answers as well.”

  “Same, but I don’t understand why you didn’t tell us sooner,” Dylan says.

  “That’s why you were distracted today,” Stefan says.

  But Cam... he remains quiet.

  I don’t like him quiet.

  “I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you guys,” I say. “I just... it felt like something I had to do on my own. I asked Tristan to help because I knew there was no other way I could get his number. I hope you guys understand.”

  “It’s fine. Just tell us next time,” Austin says.

  I let out a sigh of relief. “Okay, good.”

  “Everybody, out. I want to talk to her alone,” Cam says.

  Alone?

  I expect the boys to argue, but they don’t. All four guys, even Tristan, gets up and leaves.

  “You just kicked Tristan out of his own dorm,” I say, when the door shuts.

  Cam turns to face me. “You realize this is the second time you’ve had to apologize for keeping the truth from us.”

  “What?”

  “First, you didn’t tell us about your claustrophobia, and now you didn’t tell us that you wanted to contact Zach Stone,” he says.

  “I didn’t tell you about being claustrophobia because I didn’t want you guys to stop me,” I say. “And I knew that you would.”

  “Yes, and we forgave you for that,” Cam says. “But why didn’t you tell us the truth about this? We wouldn’t have tried to stop you, Zara.”

  My chest hurts when he asks.

  Why didn’t I tell them? It was dumb.

  “I’m not used to having friends or anybody that I can really count on. I’ve been on my own for a long time,” I say. “I mean, I’ve had my brother, but he was always more interested in baseball than he was in me. I’m not used to people caring. I’m sorry. I should have told you sooner, but the fact is I did tell you. I wanted you guys to know. As soon as I hung up the phone with Zach, I knew that I’d messed up by not telling you sooner. So I came here and told you. I hope you will forgive me for not telling you sooner. It was a jerk move, I know that. But I’m learning how to do this whole... friendship thing.”

  “Family,” he says, correcting me. “We are family. And I do forgive you. But don’t do this again, okay? Don’t shut us out. Don’t shut me out.”

  “I won’t,” I say, meaning the promise completely.

  These boys mean the world to me and the last thing I want ever to do is hurt them.

  Fear.

  Once again, I find myself in the ventilation system, this time with Cam. It’s definitely a tighter squeeze for him than it was for Tristan, but he wanted to be here. In fact, he refused to let me go with anybody else.

  Today, I am facing my fear of small space. Cam says I only have to do it for one minute today. I can handle one minute.

  I stop as we get to the part where it goes smaller.

  “You climb through there and I will be right here the entire time, holding your hand,” he says.

  I nod, trying not to let him see how frightened I am. I can be brave for him.

  I don’t have to go in far. Just... far enough.

  I climb through, hating how my breaths are already coming too fast.

  “That’s good,” Cam says.

  I sit down, closing my eyes tightly. It’s not helping though. I can feel the walls closing in around me.

  Cam grabs my hand and I open my eyes, looking at him.

  “You’re going to get through this, Zara,” he says. “You’ll never to have to go through this alone, I promise you. I will always be here for you.”

  I let his words calm me. I take deeper breaths.

  “That’s good,” he says. “You’re doing amazing.”

  I listen to him, not talking. I’m not sure I could say anything, even if I tried. I just keep my eyes on his, trying not to think about the fact that I’m in a small space.

  “What made you hate small spaces?” Cam asks.

  “Umm...” I take a deep breath. “It mostly started with crowds.” Another breath. “Paparazzi chasing my mom.” I pause, taking another breath. “Them trying to get a picture of me. It was too much.”

  He squeezes my hand to encourage me to keep going.

  “When my mom got pregnant with Charlotte, it got bad. I mean, Isabel Jensen-Livingston carrying Brad Livingston’s baby? It was big news. And they followed her around like they were going to be the one to snap a picture of her water breaking or something. It was bad.

  “A few weeks before giving birth, we went out to get ice cream. One of those rare moments when my mom was trying to be a good mom. We took a whole security team with us. And I remember thinking about how we had three cars, just for a family of four to go get ice cream. It wasn’t that bad at first. We actually ate at the ice cream shop, which never happens. But before we could leave, paparazzi swarmed the building. We knew from experience that they would chase us in their cars. So, we split up, trying to trick the paparazzi, I guess. I got into a car with just some of the security team. I don’t even remember how it worked out that way. It just did. Everything happened so fast.

  “The paparazzi decided to chase after the vehicle I was in. The windows were dark, they didn’t know who they were chasing. One of the paparazzi ended up hitting us. The car accident wasn’t bad for us. I just had a cut on my arm.” I hold up my arm for him to see the scar. “Five stitches. But the worst part of it all was there was a big pile up of cars. I couldn’t get out of the car because the doors were blocked. We had to wait for cops to come. It took them a while to get to us because there were some serious injuries and even a fatality.

  “I guess that’s why I don’t like small spaces. It brings me back to that day.”

  “Thank you for sharing that with me. I'm sorry that happened to you,” Cam says. “You want to come out?”

  “Has it been a minute yet?” I ask.

  “It’s been five,” he says, smiling at me. “You did it, Zara.”

  I couldn’t crawl out of the small vent fast enough.

  “I’m sorry about what happened to you,” Cam says, pulling me towards him to embrace me. “I can’t imagine growing up like you did.”

  I shrug my shoulders. “I hated it.”

  “Maybe someday America will do something about the paparazzi laws, like they have in the UK.”

  “I don’t want anything to do with that life,” I say. “My plan was to graduate high school, go to college somewhere far away from there, and never look back.”

  “You’re here now,” he says.

  “Coming here is the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

  I hear something vibrate and Cam looks annoyed as he pulls his phone out of his back pocket.

  “What?” Pause. “She’s fine. We’ll be back in a minute.”

  He ends the call without saying anything else and I laugh.

  “They’re worried about you,” Cam says.

  “I guess we should get out of here,” I say.

  “Yeah... the guys want to hang out with you again,” he says.

  “I wonder how long it’ll be until they get sick of me.”

  “I doubt any of us will ever get tired of you.”

  His words warm my heart.

  I hope they don’t get tired of me.

  Friday, September 14

  Assignment.

  In the middle of math class, I am asked to come to the principal’s office. I have no idea what’s happened, but the fact that she’s summoning me makes me really nervous. I don’t think I’ve done anything bad since I broke into the office, unless you count the fact that I broke curfew, but I don’
t think that’s it—considering most students do. I’ve found that the roof is where everybody hangs out after curfew. The staff either just doesn’t care or they are clueless, which I doubt.

  “Take a seat, Miss Summers,” Ms. Schmidt says to me, holding out a hand to the seat across from her desk.

  I sit down warily, trying to act calm.

  I’m not at all calm.

  “Is everything okay?” I ask.

  She nods. “How do you like classes so far?”

  Really? She called me in here to ask how I like my classes? Maybe it’s because I’m new. She just wants to make sure everything is going okay.

  “They’re good,” I say. “I’m definitely less bored than I was at my last school.”

  “Mr. Brown tells me you’re really excelling in your math class,” she says.

  “I like math.”

  “I’m not surprised,” she says, the corner of her mouth lifting. She acts like she knows something that I don’t. And... it’s the truth. But it is driving me crazy. “The reason I called you in here was to discuss an assignment with you.”

  “An assignment?” I ask.

  “I’ve noticed that you’re getting close with Camden Miller and all of his friends.”

  I nod. “They’re my friends.”

  “We are sending the five of them out on a mock assignment next week. Actually, they’re going to be in Tokyo,” she says.

  “Tokyo,” I say, swallowing hard.

  A whole week without them.

  How am I going to survive?

  “You look worried,” she says.

  “It’s just... they’re my only friends at the school. The other kids don’t really like me,” I say.

  “Miss Summers, I assure you, if you tried, you would have many friends and allies within this school. And I encourage you to do just that. The ties that you make here in this school will last a lifetime,” she says. “With that being said, I wanted to ask if you would be willing to join them on their assignment.”

  “Really?” I ask, unable to stop the grin from spreading. “I would love it. Like, love it.”

  “This assignment, though it is fictitious, should be treated like it’s real. There will be one chaperone with the six of you,” she says. “But it’s more for procedure than anything else. We are really trusting you guys on this trip.”

  “I won’t let you down,” I say.

  “I know you won’t,” Ms. Schmidt says. “I suggest that you stay friendly with the boys on this trip and remember that we are always watching, even when you think we’re not.”

  My mouth falls open. “You think I would... date... them?”

  “I don’t care about who you date,” she says. “I assume that Austin told you about what happened to his mom?”

  I nod. “About how she got pregnant at Spy School?”

  “I don’t want the same thing to happen to you.”

  “It won’t,” I say, offended that she would even say such a thing.

  “Good. I admit, I was cautious of you at first, but you’ve got talent. I can’t wait to see what you become after Spy School,” she says. “Shut the door on your way out.”

  And just like that, she’s dismissed me.

  I get up from the chair, the legs scrape loudly against the floor, but she still doesn’t look up. I walk out of the office and head back to class, thinking about what she said. I’m still a bit confused, actually. She went from warning to praise really fast, though maybe that was the point of it all. Not to dwell on the warning, even though it still lingers in the air.

  But then I remember what she said about the boys.

  I’m going to Tokyo.

  Us Against the World.

  I am still kind of in shock through the rest of my morning classes. I decide to not tell the guys that I’m going with them to Japan until we’re all together, and since our classes are too hectic, I wait until lunch.

  Part of me is nervous. What if they don’t want me to come with them? What if they see me as more of a nuisance tag along? But I push those thoughts from my head and try to be excited, because I am.

  I’ve never been to Japan, or anywhere in Asia for that matter. I’ve always wanted to, but whenever Mom was there for something, I was always in school or some other activity.

  “You’ve been bouncing on the edge of your seat all morning,” Austin says, taking a seat beside me at our regular table in the dining hall.

  “I’ve got exciting news,” I say, as I spot the rest of the guys walking towards us. “Let’s wait for them.”

  A few seconds later, everybody is seated around the table and all eyes are on me. Like they’re waiting for me to say something.

  They know me so well already.

  Suddenly, butterflies fill my stomach with nerves. This could go one of two ways, and I’m really, really hoping that it’s on the good side.

  “I have a question,” I say, starting off slow. “Well... first... I might, sort of, have been asked if I wanted to go to Tokyo with you guys. And I know I should’ve said I’d talk to you guys about it first, but I kind of said yes. But if you don’t want me to go, I will just tell Ms. Schmidt that I changed my mind.”

  “You said yes,” Dylan says.

  I nod. “I’m sorry if that isn’t what you guys wanted. I just got really excited and I wasn’t thinking.”

  The boys all smile.

  “Zara, Ms. Schmidt asked you because we told her we wanted you with us,” Cam says. “We’ve been looking forward to this assignment since we first found out about it in the summer, since before we met you. And then after school started... we kind of started dreading it. We didn’t want to leave you. So we voted and it was unanimous. We want you to go with us. In fact, I told her we wouldn’t go if you didn’t.”

  I don’t know why, but his words shock me. I’ve never had such loyal friends before.

  “Thank you,” I say, surprised by the emotion in my voice. Now I hope I don’t start crying and ruin it. Nothing like a good cry to scare boys off.

  “The five of us met freshman year,” Austin says. “We decided in the first week of school that we wanted to be a team after we graduate.”

  “Team?” I ask. “Like work together?”

  “Yes,” Stefan answers.

  “They told us we couldn’t decide the first week,” Cam says. “They were idiots. We had already made up our mind.”

  “It wasn’t a surprise that when we told them we wanted you on our team they said we couldn’t invite somebody to our team that we had known less than a week,” Tristan says. “They also aren’t thrilled that you’re a girl joining an all guys’ team.”

  “They have agreed to let us give this a trial run,” Dylan says. “So, you’re not officially part of our team, but we hope to change that as soon as we possibly can.”

  “That is... if you want to join our team,” Stefan says.

  All the boys look at me, waiting for my answer. My heart beats faster.

  They really want me to be with them?

  “I would love to be a part of your team,” I answer. “But are you sure? I mean, they’re kind of right. You don’t know me that well.”

  “We do, too,” Stefan says. “We know that when you’re concentrating, you twirl your hair with your index finger.”

  “We know that you bite your lip when you’re nervous,” Dylan says.

  “We know that you’re scared of small spaces, but that you don’t let fear stop you, even if it means having a panic attack in an air vent,” Tristan says.

  “We know that you’re an amazing dancer,” Austin says.

  “And most importantly, we know that you’re the smartest, kindest, most beautiful girl that we have ever met. Soon, all these other teams will want you to join them, but we are selfish. We want you on our team before you even have a chance to consider anybody else,” Cam says.

  I look between the five of them, trying to think of what to say. I open my mouth, but no words come out.

  “Look, I
know there is a lot we don’t know about you, but we’d like the opportunity to get to know you,” Stefan says.

  “Okay,” I say. “I want to be a part of your team—in any way that I can.”

  Because I can’t imagine being on anybody else’s team at Spy School.

  I just really hope these boys don’t hate me once they really get to know me.

  Dreams.

  After school, I help Dylan with his math homework. He says he needs help, but he's actually really good. But then again, Mr. Brown does tend to be a hard teacher, not having mercy on any of his students.

  “What is the point of having a team?” I ask. “I mean, I don’t understand Spy School much, but in most spy movies, aren’t they usually alone or with one other person? Having a group of five seems like a lot.”

  “Six now,” Dylan says.

  “Not officially,” I say.

  “It will be official,” he says. “But it’s good to have a team of five because each and every one of us bring something different to the group—something that makes us unique. Big teams at Spy School tend to do really well. And... just because we’re a team doesn’t mean we don’t do solo missions.”

  “Huh,” I say, thinking I would hate to go alone. “What do you bring?”

  “Well, because I’ve traveled, I’ve learned a lot about different cultures. I can help everybody know what is appropriate to do and what’s not,” he says. “The last thing we want to do is travel somewhere and make a scene, or offend them. I’m also a pretty good fighter. All the guys are, but I excel at disarming.”

  “Disarming?”

  “You know... like, if somebody has a gun or a knife or some other kind of weapon, I can get it out of their hand before they even realize what I’m doing.”

  “Wow,” I say, thinking I could never do something like that. “What about Tristan?”

  “He can hack into anything.”

  I should’ve known that. “And Stefan?”

  “Stefan is kind of like the glue for our group. Anytime we get into a fight, he is there to break it up and make us apologize. He can always get through to us,” Dylan says. “But aside from us, he’s kind of good with people in general. I’ve seen him talk down a person who was about to jump off a bridge.”