Bands of Gold

by Angela Benson

  “You knew I was seeing someone, Christina. I told you. Remember? His name is Robert. I met him at a Professional Accountants meeting.”

  “Oh, yes, I do recall something about your going to some meeting to meet men.”

  Liza placed one hand on her hip and shook her finger at Christina. “I didn’t go to meet men. I have a real interest in accounting.”

  Christina laughed. “Sure you do, Liza. Anyway, I’m not knocking it. Maybe I should try it. It worked well for you.” Christina got up from the couch. “I want to hear all about this guy of yours. How about something to drink first? This is an occasion for wine. Which do you prefer, white or red?”

  “White.”

  “Two white wines coming up.”

  When Christina went to prepare the drinks, Liza got up and walked around the room. She was seated in front of the fireplace when Christina returned.

  Taking a sip, Liza began her story. “You remember how much I hated Fort Worth when I first got there? After the first month, I was sure that going there was the biggest mistake of my life. Then I met Robert.” Liza faced Christina. “He changed my life in so many ways that it’s hard to explain.”

  That single statement touched Christina in a secret place. For the first time, she was envious of Liza. To cover her feelings, she remarked in jest, “So, he was your knight in shining armor. He rescued you from the boredom of Fort Worth.”

  “No,” Liza corrected, her voice soft, almost serene. “It wasn’t like that. It may have started like that, but Robert and I had to work hard for our love.”

  “What do you mean?” Christina asked, now serious.

  “From the beginning I liked him a lot. He was such fun to be with. We had common interests—I loved a good party, we found the same things funny. The laughter attracted me first. Then his cooking.”

  “He cooks?”

  Liza nodded. “The man is a master chef. He started cooking for me after our second date. He said that I didn’t eat right and he made it his business to see that I did. I liked that. It showed that he cared, and it felt good to have someone care.” Liza’s voice wavered as she said the last. She got up, swirling her drink around in her glass. Her eyes focused intently on Varnette P. Honeywood’s Jackie’s Song, which was hanging on the wall above the television, but it seemed her thoughts were miles away.

  “What is it, Liza?” Christina asked.

  Liza looked at Christina then. She smiled a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “He had problems with my weight at first.”

  “Oh,” was the only comment Christina could make. She knew how the weight comments could kill a budding relationship. Obviously, though, Liza and Robert had gotten past them.

  “He had this picture of the woman he would marry. She was a size 5 or 7 or 9. You know that I’m none of those.”

  Christina looked at her friend’s two-hundred-pound frame and understood how she must have felt. Though Liza was an attractive, well-proportioned woman with soft features, Christina knew that sometimes men only saw the weight. She had first-hand experience with that herself. She had been Liza’s weight before, and knew it was hell getting a relationship started and even tougher keeping it going. One could work through it, though. Liza and Robert were proof of that. “How did you two deal with it?”

  “I fought for him. In the past, I would have backed out of the relationship to keep from getting hurt. This time I couldn’t do that. Robert had become too important to me. It was too close to call for a while, but once Robert admitted to himself that he loved me, we knew we had it made.” Liza smiled and lifted her glass in a toast. “Here’s to women who fight for what they want.”

  “I’m for all that,” Christina agreed, lifting her glass. “So, what about sex?” The question rushed out. If she had taken time to think about it, she would never have asked it.

  “What about it?”

  It was too late for Christina to take it back now. “That’s what I’m asking you.”

  “Of course, we’ve made love. We’re good together. What more can I say?”

  Christina placed her glass on the table and rose from her seat. Though she wanted to have this conversation, she was beginning to feel uncomfortable. Vulnerable. “I don’t quite know how to ask this, but I need to know.”

  “Just ask. It’s obviously important to you. If I don’t want to answer it, I won’t.”

  The next words rushed out of Christina’s mouth. “Was it hard to take your clothes off the first time?”

  Liza didn’t answer immediately. She took a deep breath and nodded in a way that made Christina think that the question brought unhappy memories. “It was a little difficult the first time. I knew that Robert cared for me, but I didn’t know how he’d respond to the whole me, naked. His response . . .well, let’s call it enthusiastic. After the first time, it was no longer an issue.” Liza’s expression brightened and she looked directly at Christina. “Why do you ask?”

  Christina turned away. “It scares me, Liza. That’s the reason, or at least that’s one of the reasons, I haven’t allowed anybody to get close to me. I’m afraid of the rejection. I’ve lost a lot of weight, but I still don’t have a model’s body and I don’t know if I could handle rejection if it came at an intimate moment like that.”

  Surprised, Liza sat back down on the couch and placed her glass on the cocktail table. “Are you telling me you’re still a virgin?” When Christina didn’t answer, Liza continued, “What about you and Bruce?”

  Christina took a seat on the couch facing Liza. “Nothing happened. We came close a few times. I just couldn’t go through with it. I had mixed feelings. I liked being close, but I feared his reaction to my naked body and I was scared to death of becoming pregnant. There was no way I was going to get pregnant and have to quit school. My worst nightmare is being an unwed mother. I saw the problems my mom faced, and I don’t want to face them. Neither do I want to put my children through them.”

  “There’s such a thing as birth control,” Liza reasoned. Christina picked up her glass and ran her finger around its rim.

  “Yes, but nothing is a hundred percent effective. Anyway, with Bruce, fear of pregnancy wasn’t the only hindrance. I wasn’t sure I loved him. So, I couldn’t make love with him.”

  “My, my.” Liza clasped her hands together. “A thirty-year-old virgin. I’ll bet there aren’t many of you around.”

  “You’d lose your money. The June issue of Cosmopolitan had a survey that showed there is a large group of us.”

  Liza began shaking her head. “I don’t see how you made it through college.”

  “In the words of my mother, I kept my dress down and my legs closed.”

  Laughing, Liza admonished, “Christina, you’re awful.”

  “It’s true, though now it’s like a bad habit that I can’t break.”

  “I’ve never heard virginity called a bad habit before.”

  “You know what I mean,” Christina said. She drank the last of her wine and leaned back on the couch. “Once you get used to keeping men at arm’s length, you find yourself doing it automatically, even when you don’t want to. Now that I’ve waited so long, I find more reasons I shouldn’t—my body, my age, AIDS. You name it.”

  “All people have insecurities, Christina, but they don’t let those insecurities stop them from pursuing relationships. You shouldn’t let yours stop you, either.”

  Intellectually, she knew Liza was right, but emotionally, she wasn’t sure she was ready for that kind of advice. “It’s so easy to fill my life with other things—the house, work—so that I don’t have to think about how much I’m missing or how much I want a real relationship, marriage and children.”

  “You can have all of that, if you’re willing to work for it. You’ve got to get outside yourself and take a risk. Being vulnerable is the foundation of any relationship.”

  Christina knew there was truth in Liza’s words, but it was too much for her to think
about right now. To lighten the conversation, she asked, “Are you sure I can’t have a relationship that’s guaranteed not to hurt? I’m so used to formulas and equations that I should be able to create the perfect relationship.”

  Liza shook her head. “Sorry, my friend, it doesn’t work that way. Everybody gets hurt. Some more than others. As they say, ‘No pain, No gain’.”

  “You must be getting tired, Liza. Isn’t that an exercise slogan?”

  Liza laughed. “What do you expect this late at night? You have to catch me in the morning for something original.”

  “I’ll remember that.” Christina stood up. “My famous green bean casserole should be ready about now. Are you hungry?”

  Liza stood, too. “I thought you’d never ask. Lead the way.”

  The women ate a relaxed dinner as Liza talked more about her wedding plans. After dinner, Christina gave Liza the grand tour of her home. They ended up in the guest bedroom where Liza would sleep. The blue-patterned curtains and comforter were warm and suited the night and the night’s conversation.

  “You have a very comfortable and inviting home, Christina. I hope Robert and I can find something as good. We really want to buy a house. How long have you been here?”

  “Seven months now. It seems longer, though,” Christina answered.

  “How so?”

  “There’s a lot of work to do when you live in a house. Yard work and housework. And there’s not that much time left when you’re working twelve- and fifteen-hour days. It might be easier for you and Robert, since there will be two of you.”

  Liza didn’t agree. “That won’t help. We’re both going to be very busy when we first move here. Maybe we should wait a while before we buy?”

  “That’s what I did. When I first moved back, I lived in an apartment in midtown so I’d be close to work. I was working close to twenty-four-hour days then.”

  Liza sat on the edge of the bed and pulled off her shoes. “Why such long hours? I know there was a lot of work, but that much time is a bit extreme, even for you.”

  “I was determined to make a success of this move,” Christina said, leaning against the chest nearest the door. “Walter and Rosalind were dead set against it. They didn’t think it was a wise career move. I wanted to prove them wrong.”

  “Well, you definitely did that,” Liza stated.

  “So I did,” Christina said. She had proved Rosalind and Walter wrong, but she still hadn’t achieved her primary goal. Talking with Liza tonight made her realize that all the more.

  “It seems like you’re settling in for the duration.”

  “In a way, I am,” Christina said. “I never considered Boston home. It was a stopover on my way back to Atlanta. Now that I’m here, I want to establish roots, settle down, build a future.” Christina knew she sounded like she was on a soapbox. “Sound crazy?”

  “Not at all. That’s the way I feel. I want Robert and me to establish roots, settle down, build a future.”

  “You’re lucky,” Christina said. “You’ve already found that special person to share the future with you.”

  ***

  Christina and Liza rushed to the office the next morning. It was about a thirty-minute drive, in rush-hour traffic, from Christina’s house to the midtown office of Communications Limited. Christina took Liza on a tour of the facility, introduced her to the staff, and then took her to lunch with the people who would be reporting to her. After lunch they went back to Christina’s office.

  “It’s going to be at least four months before I can make the move,” Liza said. “With my current project, the wedding and the honeymoon, four months is probably optimistic.”

  “We’ll work that out. I’m just glad you want the job. Your delayed start won’t present much of a problem if Jackson Duncan can start immediately. The first six to nine months will be planning anyway, and Jackson will handle that. You’ll handle the implementation.”

  “Has he accepted the job?” Liza asked.

  Christina shook her head. She was interviewing Jackson Duncan for the other project manager position on her staff. “He’ll be in tomorrow.”

  “I’ve heard only good things about his work. And though he has the reputation of being a ladies’ man, I hope he takes the job.”

  “His reputation doesn’t bother me,” Christina said. “I’m only interested in what he’ll do in the office. And I have a feeling that he’s going to accept the job. Walter hinted that he’d recommended Jackson take it. And you know how Walter recommends.”

  Liza laughed. “I see what you mean.” She looked at her watch. “The limo should be here to take me to the airport. I’d better go down now.”

  Christina rode the elevator to the lobby with her friend. “It’s been good seeing you again, Liza. Thanks for the talk last night.”

  “Remember what I told you—don’t let your insecurities stop you from going after what you want. You don’t let it happen in your professional life, so don’t let it happen in your personal life. Go after what you want.”

  After giving Christina a short hug, Liza got into the waiting limo.

  Christina watched as the car pulled away. “Go after what you want,” she spoke softly to herself. “Maybe I should do that.”

  “Excuse me, Miss Marshall.” A security guard interrupted her thoughts. “Do you need any help?”

  “No,” Christina said. “I’m fine.”

  Christina returned to her office. She tried to review the paperwork on Jackson Duncan, but her mind still focused on her conversation with Liza last night. Since she wasn’t accomplishing anything, she placed the Jackson Duncan file in her briefcase and left for the day.

  ***

  Once home, Christina went directly to her bedroom and removed the small, black leather notebook from her nightstand. She sat on the floor beside the bed, turned to the page entitled “Personal Goals,” and began to read. The list read:

  Move to Atlanta

  Get established in job

  Buy house

  Get established in community

  Make friends

  Fall in love

  Get married

  Have three children

  Of the eight entries, Christina had already accomplished the first three. The Outstanding Manager Award for her work on Orion indicated her success. Now she was a district manager and Optima was her project. Not bad for one year.

  She was working on numbers 4 and 5. Numbers 6, 7, and 8 were dearest to her heart. What Christina really wanted, and she was embarrassed to think it even to herself, was to be in love. She wanted to share her life with a special man. Not exactly modern or progressive thinking, but her thinking nonetheless.

  As she sat on the floor beside her bed, she began to make a list of things she could do and places she could go to meet eligible men. Liza would be proud of her for making a move. Yes, making the list was the first step; acting on it would follow. Though she was afraid, she knew she had to start somewhere.

  After finishing her list, Christina ate a light dinner and started on the Jackson Duncan file. He was twenty-eight and had been at CL for six years, a managing engineer for the last two. Both years were spent on special projects for the president of CL. Quite impressive, Christina thought with a smile. According to his last manager, his arrogance was outweighed only by his effectiveness. Jackson Duncan was the stereotypical CL executive. His career path led directly to senior management.

  He may be just what we need to get Optima off the drawing board, she thought. The interview tomorrow should prove interesting.

  ***

  It was nine-thirty in the evening. Jackson Duncan sat at the bar in the Georgian Hotel on Peachtree Street in Atlanta and thought about Christina Marshall. He had read her file on the flight in from Los Angeles. The file only confirmed what his friend, Walter Thomas, had already told him. Christina Marshall was a no-nonsense, get-the-job-done type. Her accomplishments impressed him, especially her wor
k on Orion. The chance to work on Optima with her convinced him that Atlanta wouldn’t be a bad move.

  Optima was a career-making project, and Christina Marshall had Boston’s attention. They would be watching her every move, which was fine with Jackson. He welcomed the attention. He knew that success with Optima was key to a promotion and a district manager slot back in Boston. It was already agreed. He just had to bide his time with Optima until a suitable position in Boston came open.

  His thoughts came back to Christina Marshall. In some ways, his career followed hers. The lady must really be something, he thought. The interview tomorrow should prove interesting.

  As Jackson finished his drink, he noticed an attractive, black-haired woman with long legs sitting alone across the bar from him. Before he could turn away, she looked up and smiled at him. Jackson recognized that smile. Why the hell not, he thought. He ordered another drink and walked over to meet the smiling lady.

  Three

  From his seat in the main CL lobby, Jackson checked his appearance in the mirrored lobby walls. Not bad, he thought, for a guy who’d gotten only three hours of sleep. Mona, the black-haired woman from the bar, had kept him busy for over half the night. Not that he was complaining. No, work like that didn’t cause a man to complain. Mona had been just the right kind of woman. She’d wanted only a good time for one night, no strings. And she’d been prepared. Jackson wondered if her name was really Mona.

  The long, shapely legs and bouncing breasts of a woman crossing the street to the building interrupted his thoughts. He watched intently as the woman walked up the steps and through the lobby doors. He decided, as she entered the lobby door, that if she made eye contact with him, he would introduce himself. The woman didn’t look his way. Obviously, she was in a hurry. Probably late for some meeting.

  Jackson looked at his watch. Nine-fifteen. His interview with Christina Marshall was scheduled for nine o’clock. He checked with the lobby desk again. He didn’t like waiting. And it was worse waiting today. He was hyped about this assignment. Finally, a middle-aged woman, most likely a secretary, walked up to him.