Bands of Gold

by Angela Benson

  He didn’t say anything. He just turned his hand over to enclose hers. They rode in silence.

  ***

  “I want to stay with you tonight,” Jackson whispered. They sat under a tree on Harbor Island. She was positioned between his legs, her head resting on his chest, his arms around her waist.

  “Do you think that’s wise?” she asked.

  He kissed the top of her head. “Does it matter if it’s wise or not?”

  She lowered her head. Jackson was determined to be a part of her life. She wanted it, but she was afraid. What would happen if it didn’t work? What would happen if it did?

  “Do you want me to stay?” he asked.

  “I do, but I don’t know if I should.”

  “I want to and you want me to, so I will.”

  She raised her head and looked back at him. “It’s that easy, huh?”

  “That easy.”

  She turned back around and rested her head against his chest. “What are we doing, Jackson?” She wanted to know what he wanted out of this relationship.

  “We’re going with the magic,” he said.

  “Magic?”

  “That’s what it is—magic. I felt it long before this weekend, and I think you did, too. I felt it the first day we met. It was almost as if we were destined to be together.”

  He was right. She felt it. She hadn’t named it, but she had felt it.

  “Am I staying tonight, or do I fly out of here?” he asked again.

  “Why do you do that?” she asked.

  “Do what?”

  “Force me to make my intentions clear. You either wait for me to make the first move, or you make me say what I want. Why is that?”

  “We have to be open and honest with each other, Christina. There are already too many things that could play against us. We don’t need to add anything more to the list.”

  She knew he was talking about their work. “What’s going to happen when we get back?”

  “What do you want to happen?”

  “There you go again.”

  He laughed then. “All right, I’ll answer that one first. When we get back, we’ll continue with what we’ve found here. We’ll see where it takes us.”

  “I’m scared.”

  “I know. I’m scared, too.” He paused, then asked again, “Do you want me to stay with you tonight?”

  ***

  Jackson awakened her the first time with an intense bout of lovemaking. She reveled in it, so much so that she wondered if there were something to the sex addiction concept that was being talked about. Maybe she was a sex addict.

  Before Jackson left for the airport, they made plans for dinner in Atlanta. It was important that they be together their first night back. Tonight would set the pace for their relationship.

  The ringing phone woke Christina the second time. Wake-up call. She dressed, had a room-service breakfast and took a taxi to the Hancock Towers.

  Walter’s door was open, so she walked in. He was seated at his desk. “Good morning,” she said. When he looked up, she added, “And congratulations.”

  Walter stood up. “Good morning, and thank you, Christina. I bet we surprised you, didn’t we?”

  “That’s an understatement. I had no idea, no idea at all. How long has this been going on?”

  “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

  “Wouldn’t believe what?” Rosalind asked, as she walked into the room.

  Walter walked from behind his solid oak desk to greet Rosalind with a kiss on the cheek. He placed his arm around her. “Christina wants to know how long our relationship has been going on.”

  Rosalind stepped out of Walter’s embrace. “He’s right. You wouldn’t believe it if we told you.” She looked at her watch. “We’d better get started if we’re going to finish by noon.”

  Christina nodded. She wanted to hear more about this relationship, but she could see that Rosalind wasn’t going to discuss it now. Ah, well, Christina thought, maybe some other time. She turned her attention to the work.

  ***

  “Let’s go out for lunch,” Rosalind said to Christina, when the meeting ended. Walter had another meeting, so he couldn’t go with them.

  Rosalind and Christina took the elevator to the lobby. “Walter and I have done a good job keeping our relationship out of the office,” Rosalind explained. “I want to keep it that way.”

  “Do you think you’re going to be able to keep it that way after you’re married?” Christina asked.

  Rosalind gave a small laugh. “You saw Walter this morning. I don’t think so.”

  “Walter surprised me when he held you like that. I had no idea he was so affectionate.”

  “He’s really surprising me these days, too. I like it, but it makes me wonder how different our lives would have been if he had always been this way.”

  “Sounds like you two have a long history,” Christina said.

  “We do. I hope you and Jackson handle yourselves better than we did.”

  Christina pretended ignorance. “Jackson and me?”

  “No need to deny it. Walter suspected something after your first trip here. And he saw something at the wedding that convinced him.”

  Christina didn’t say anything until they were off the elevator. “We’re that obvious?”

  “Maybe to us because we’re in the same situation.”

  Rosalind led her out of the building to Toffee, an intimate cafe nearby.

  “So just how long have you and Walter been seeing each other?” Christina asked, after lunch had been served.

  “Since his wife died ten years ago,” Rosalind answered.

  “How did it happen?” Christina asked. When Rosalind didn’t answer immediately, she added, “It’s really none of my business. You don’t have to answer that. I’m sorry.”

  “I don’t mind. Maybe it’ll help you and Jackson not to make the same mistakes.”

  “What mistakes?” Christina asked.

  “Choosing a career over a relationship,” Rosalind answered. After a sigh, she began, “When I started at CL, women didn’t have the options they have today. You were a wife and mother, or you had a career. Maybe you could teach and still be considered a good wife, but that was about it. I always thought I would get married. I went to college thinking it would happen, then on to graduate school, but it never did. I intimidated most of my male classmates. Dating was difficult. I wouldn’t suppress the real me to be the fluff men seemed to want.”

  As Rosalind spoke, Christina realized it could have been her life that Rosalind talked about. She, too, thought she would end up married with children. The only difference was that Christina thought she would have the family, the children, and the career. “You came to CL right out of college?” Christina asked.

  Rosalind nodded. “I was so excited to get the job. I was one of the first women engineers hired. I worked hard to show them they had made the right decision in hiring me.”

  “That’s when you met Walter?”

  “Yes. He started about six months before I did. He thought he’d show me the ropes. Actually, he wanted to boss me around.” She smiled then as if she was reliving those days. “We had a few rows early on. I determined that he wasn’t going to roll over me.”

  “Were you attracted to him even then?”

  Again Rosalind smiled. “Was I ever! Walter’s still an attractive man. Then, he was what you’d call ‘fine.’”

  “Was he attracted to you?”

  Rosalind’s smile faded. “Yes.”

  Christina sensed her sadness, and to cheer her up, she said, “You’re fortunate. Now you have each other.”

  The comment must have helped, because Rosalind smiled again. “We did, but it wasn’t an easy road. Walter didn’t want a wife who worked, especially a wife who worked where he worked. CL didn’t hire married people at the time. If we were to be together, one of us had to quit.”

&n
bsp; “You put your career first?”

  “Walter never gave me that option. He married somebody else.” Rosalind shrugged as if past pain was pain forgotten, but the hurt in her voice spoke the truth. “I honestly don’t know if I could have done it if he had asked me. In those days I was so determined.”

  “How could Walter have done that to you? He should have talked to you about it first. He owed you that much.”

  “You’re right, he did. And for years I hated him. After he married her, I considered leaving CL. I didn’t know if I could handle being around him. But I didn’t leave. I threw myself into the job instead. It worked.”

  Christina saw herself in the picture painted by Rosalind’s words. “How did you two get back together?”

  “I hated him, but I never stopped loving him. After his wife died, we came back together. He never stopped loving me, either.”

  Christina couldn’t imagine pining for a man for all those years. “Why have you kept it a secret for so long?”

  “When Walter and I started at CL, dating between employees wasn’t allowed. Though the rules had changed when we got back together, Walter and I were still the same. At first it was too personal, too new, too private, to bring into the open. Later, it was just too complicated. We wondered what everybody would think. What effect it would have on the people working with us. We focused on all the negative consequences of our relationship. Maybe we should have looked for the positive.”

  “I know what you mean.” Christina was thinking about herself and Jackson now.

  “I have you and Jackson to thank for my upcoming marriage.”

  “How’s that?”

  “Walter wanted me to talk to you about the problems with office affairs.”

  Christina’s face burned with embarrassment. It was as if she and Jackson had worn neon signs. Everybody knew about them. “You and Walter have talked about us?”

  “Walter talked about you. I talked about Walter and me. His response to your relationship made me angry about ours.”

  “Why hadn’t you told him before?”

  “I didn’t realize how much I resented the secrecy until then. Don’t get me wrong—I never doubted Walter’s love for me. When he began to talk about you and Jackson, I realized how much I was missing because of the restrictions on our relationship.”

  Christina gave a sad smile. “I’m glad we could help.”

  “How are things between you and Jackson?”

  “There was nothing between us until this weekend,” Christina answered honestly. She wanted to share this with Rosalind.

  “How do you feel about him?”

  Christina placed her napkin on the table. “I don’t know. Right now my emotions are everywhere.”

  “Are you two going to see each other when you get back to Atlanta?”

  Christina nodded. “We’re going to see where this relationship takes us. I admit I’m a little scared about seeing him tonight and going into the office in the morning.”

  “What about that scares you?”

  Everything. “I don’t know.”

  “Are you in love with him?”

  Christina pondered that question. Was she in love with Jackson? She wanted to be with him. She missed him even now. She believed she could trust him. But did she love him? “I don’t even know what love is.” She repeated Jackson’s own words.

  “Do you want some advice from someone who’s been there?”

  “Yes,” Christina answered.

  “Hiding your feelings won’t make them go away. If you love him, say it and get used to saying it. You aren’t going to hurt any less by not saying it, and you’ll find more joy in your love if you do say it.”

  That made sense to Christina.

  “Has he told you how he feels?” Rosalind asked.

  “He says it’s magic and he wants to see where the magic takes us. I think he’s afraid, too.”

  “I’m glad that you see that. Jackson’s a good man. I’ve known him a long time. Be good to him.”

  She’s telling me to be good to Jackson? Christina thought to herself. This I don’t believe. “If anybody’s in over their head in this, Rosalind, believe me, it’s not Jackson.”

  “Just be careful, Christina, and be good to each other.”

  ***

  Christina sat by the window on the flight back to Atlanta. She looked out and thought about Jackson. She had called him from the airport and he was meeting her flight. She couldn’t wait to see him. He said he had a surprise for her.

  She saw him as soon as she entered the gate area. He greeted her with a kiss. “Welcome back, stranger,” he said. “I’ve missed you.”

  She kissed him back. “You saw me this morning, Jackson. How could you have missed me that quickly?”

  “I missed you all right. Did you miss me?”

  “I just saw you this morning,” she said.

  He pulled her into his arms and looked into her eyes. “Did you miss me?”

  Her first instinct was to tease him, but she saw he was serious. “I missed you. A lot.”

  He grinned then. “Good. Now we can get going.”

  “Where are we going?”

  “It’s a surprise,” he said.

  When he opened the car door for her, she said, “I’m impressed. A red Porsche. Somehow, I should have known.”

  Jackson grinned again. “Even grown-ups have toys. If you’re good, I may let you play with it. Now, buckle up.”

  Jackson got on 1-85 and drove downtown. When he got off at Fourteenth Street exit, Christina asked, “You’re taking me to the office, aren’t you?”

  Jackson shook his head. “Work is the farthest thing from my mind right now.”

  “Then where are we going?”

  “You’ll see,” was all he said.

  He pulled into the private garage at the Midtown Terrace Apartments.

  “Do you live here?” She remembered that he lived near work. This apartment complex was compatible with his Porsche.

  “We’re almost there,” he said, getting out of the car. He opened her door and said, “You sure do ask a lot of questions.”

  She stepped out of the car. “You do live here, don’t you?”

  He used his key to open the elevator and they stepped on. “Yes, I live here,” he answered finally.

  “Looks pretty expensive,” she said.

  “Maybe you could tell my boss that I need a raise,” he said, with a teasing smile.

  “Close your eyes,” he said, when they reached his door.

  “Close my eyes? Why?”

  “Will you just cooperate?”

  She did. He led her through the door and across the room. She felt a light breeze and Jackson said, “You can open them now.”

  She couldn’t believe what she saw. A table had been placed on the balcony. There were candles, red roses, and what seemed to be chilled wine or champagne. Plates and flatware were on the table as well. “Did you do this?”

  He lit the candles and pulled out a chair for her. “A special night for a special woman.”

  When she sat, he bent to kiss her on the lips.

  He sat across from her and poured for them both, then lifted his glass to her. “A toast.” When she lifted hers, he said, “To beginnings.”

  Christina couldn’t believe this was happening. She took a swallow of the drink. It was champagne. She had to say something, and looking out into the Atlanta skyline, she said, “You have a beautiful view from here.”

  “It is a beautiful view,” he said thickly.

  She looked at him. He was not looking at the skyline. He was looking at her. No, he was devouring her with his eyes. She looked away again.

  “Don’t turn away,” he whispered. “I like looking at you. You’re a beautiful woman, Christina.”

  Christina knew she wasn’t beautiful. She was average looking. Maybe pretty, but not beautiful. There was something in the way he said it
, though, that made her feel beautiful. She turned back to look at him.

  “If you continue to look at me like that, we may not get around to dinner,” he warned.

  She continued to look at him. He cleared his throat and got up from his chair. “I’m going to check on dinner.”

  Jackson walked into the kitchen. The evening was turning on him. He had intended to seduce Christina to christen their first night back in Atlanta, but the looks she was giving him threatened his control. They had been together this morning, but he wanted her again. He wanted her badly.

  He looked in the oven. Not ready yet. He stayed in the kitchen longer than necessary to calm down. He had to get control if this was going to be the special night he had planned. He turned on the stereo on his way back out to Christina.

  The notes of a soft ballad floated onto the balcony. Jackson held out his hand to Christina. “Dance?” he asked, repeating the question he had asked at the reception.

  She got up and walked into his arms. As soon as he felt her against him, he knew he’d made a mistake. Now he had to get through this dance and then through dinner. He could do it, he told himself. He knew he could do it.

  Christina leaned her head against his chest and tightened her hold on him. He groaned aloud. She looked up at him. “I think it’s going to be a while before I’m ready for dinner. How about you?”

  ***

  “I’m sorry about your dinner, Jackson.”

  He leaned over and kissed her. “I’m not complaining. We just had dessert before the main course.” They sat on his bed, eating his home-cooked meal. He was in his undershorts; Christina wore one of his shirts.

  “When are you going to take me home?” she asked.

  “Do you have to go? You could stay. Waking up with you is something I could get used to.”

  “I like waking up with you, too, but I have to go home. There’s work tomorrow,” she said.

  He slapped his hand against his forehead. “Oh, work. I forgot about that.”

  “Now, I know you’re lying. You’d never forget work.”