“How can you not know how I feel, Christina?”
She did have an inkling about his feelings for her. “I made some assumptions, but it’s good to hear.”
“I love you, Christina Marshall,” Jackson said.
“You do?” Christina was grinning now. “Well you’d better, because I love you, too.”
“Music to my ears, sweetheart. Are you sure you have to meet with Angela tonight? I feel the need to celebrate.”
She understood the celebration he had in mind. “She won’t stay all night. We’ll have plenty of time to celebrate. You know what they say about anticipation.”
“You’d better be ready for a long night, Miss Marshall. I hope you got a lot of rest last night.”
He knew she hadn’t gotten a lot of rest last night because he’d kept her up half the night. “I haven’t been getting a lot of rest lately, but if you have the stamina, I’m sure I do.”
“We’ll just have to see, won’t we?” was Jackson’s response.
***
The doorbell rang just as Christina finished tossing the salad. Exactly six o’clock. Angela was punctual.
The doorbell rang again when Christina and Angela were about halfway through dinner and their agenda. Christina knew who was at the door. She looked at Angela.
“Something wrong, Christina? Were you expecting company tonight?”
Christina got up to get the door. “I guess you could say that. It’s Jackson.” She paused, then added honestly, “This feels awkward.”
“It shouldn’t,” Angela said. “Jackson and I were never more than friends. There might have been something there, but I always figured he had a thing for you.” The doorbell rang again. Angela smiled. “You’d better get that before he kicks the door in.”
The doorbell rang again and Christina laughed. “I think you’re right. I’ll be right back.”
Jackson kissed her in greeting. “Are you about done?” he whispered. “I’ve been anticipating all day.”
“Behave yourself,” she said. “You’re going to have to wait a little while longer. Come on back, we’re in the family room.” Christina deliberately let Jackson walk ahead of her. She was still unsure of this platonic relationship he and Angela shared.
“Hi, Angela,” was Jackson’s greeting. No hidden message in that, Christina thought.
“Hi, yourself,” Angela said. “If I had known you two had plans tonight, Christina and I could have gotten together another time.”
“It’s not a problem. We just decided today.” He looked at Christina. “Sometimes things come up.”
That wasn’t just a look he gave Christina. It was a promise, a threat, and a dare, all rolled into one gaze. Christina cleared her throat. “We’re almost finished,” she said to Jackson. “You want something to eat? We have some left.”
“Don’t let me rush you. I’ll get a bite and watch some television. Never let it be said that I came between a woman and her work. Or in this case, two women and their work.”
Christina looked at Angela to see if she had picked up on the double entendre. She didn’t look as if she had. Christina looked back at Jackson, which was a mistake. He was slowly, seductively licking mayonnaise off his knife. Christina felt a shiver go down her spine.
Fifteen
Christina leaned against the armoire in her bedroom with her arms crossed. “You were bad tonight, Jackson,” she scolded. Angela had just left.
“Actually, I was pretty tame. I could have been a lot worse,” Jackson reasoned from his seat on her bed. The bed tray in front of him held a newspaper and his discarded dishes. “How did your meeting go?”
“Good.” She dropped her arms and walked over to the bed. Jackson put the bed tray on the floor to make room for her. “We came up with a pretty detailed proposal for what we want to do. Angela has some other people she wants to involve. We did enough tonight to take the proposal to those people.”
“It’s a pretty big project, but a great way to raise money. You two will probably be a big hit.”
“I don’t know about all that. We’re going to need a lot of support. Are you sure you don’t want to help?”
“No way. That’s yours,” he said quickly.
“Just thought I’d check again,” she said. She hadn’t really expected him to help. They had talked about the project and agreed that Jackson wouldn’t get involved. Their lives were too intertwined as it was with work and this romance. There had to be room for separate interests.
Jackson touched his hand to the back of her neck. “Has the celebration started yet?” Jackson asked.
“I was thinking that we’d go out tonight. Maybe dancing.” Her eyes twinkled. “What do you think?”
“I think we have different ideas of what a celebration is. Mine don’t include leaving this room.”
“I think we’re becoming limited in our activities, Jackson. All this time in one room isn’t good.”
“Speak for yourself. It’s very good for me.”
She rolled her eyes. “That’s not what I’m talking about and you know it.”
Jackson’s nimble fingers began a gentle massage of her neck. “Do you really want to go out?”
“Well . . .” she teased. “Not really.”
Jackson shook his head. “Then why are we having this conversation?”
“Because we need to look at how much time we spend in bed. Maybe we’re having sex too often?”
Jackson laughed. “Sweetheart, there is no such thing as too much sex.”
“Don’t laugh. I’m serious, Jackson. What if all we have is sex? What if we don’t have a real relationship?”
“That’s not the case and you know it,” he said in a serious tone. “What’s brought this on?”
She moved so that his hand fell away from her. “I think about it all the time.”
“Sex?” he asked.
“Making love with you,” she clarified.
“What’s so bad about that? I spend a great deal of my time thinking about making love with you. It’s natural. We’re in love.”
Christina wasn’t too sure about it being natural. “I wonder if Liza and Robert have sex this often.”
“From what I saw in Boston and from what I remember from their wedding, I’d say they have sex at least as often as we do. Probably more.”
Christina couldn’t imagine more. “Why do you say more?”
“Their relationship is more established. They’ve found a rhythm for their lives together. I’m not just talking sex, I’m talking their lives. Look at Robert’s ease with relocating to Atlanta.”
“Are you saying we’re going to have sex more often than we do now? That I can’t imagine.” Christina made a mental note to talk to Liza about this.
“What about the celebration?” Jackson asked again. “When does it start?”
Christina stood up. “I do have a surprise for you. Don’t move.” She went into her walk-in closet and closed the door.
When she walked out she was wearing a purple teddy trimmed with black lace. The gleam in Jackson’s eyes told her that he liked it.
He gulped. “Did you buy that especially for me?”
She walked around the bed. “I bought it for myself, but I knew you’d like it.” She bent over from the waist to pick up something from the floor. She knew she gave Jackson a good view of her derriere and her thighs. She stood up when she heard him moan.
“Everything all right, Jackson?” she asked innocently.
“I want to touch you,” he said quickly.
“Not so fast,” she admonished. “Tonight I’m going to make love to you.”
***
Liza began work the following Tuesday, two months after her wedding.
“When did you guys get into town?” Christina asked, over coffee in her office that morning. She and Liza were seated in adjacent chairs.
“Saturday night. We’re still in a hotel. We looked at a co
uple of apartments yesterday. I think we’re going to end up at the Midtown Terrace Apartments.”
“That’s where Jackson lives. You’re going to love that building. It’s close to work.”
“Robert will like living close to Jackson. How is he, anyway?”
“He’s great. The two of us want to take you and Robert out when you get settled.”
Liza lifted a brow. “The two of you? Is anything going on here?”
Christina couldn’t stop the grin that spread across her face. “As a matter of fact, there is.”
“Details,” Liza said, leaning closer. “I want details.”
“Jackson and I are seeing each other.”
“Seeing each other? What does that mean? Are you sleeping with him?”
Christina found Liza’s eagerness amusing. “Yes, I’m sleeping with him.”
“So, you finally did it. How was it? That was a stupid question. It must have been good, or you wouldn’t still be seeing him. So, how was your first time? Was it as difficult as you imagined it would be?”
Christina felt as giddy as a schoolgirl. “That’s the thing, Liza. I didn’t have any reservations at all. I didn’t think about my body or possible pregnancy or AIDS or anything. I just wanted to be with him.” Christina paused, then added, “There were a couple of moments when I was apprehensive, but Jackson helped me through them. He’s a considerate lover.”
Liza reached over and hugged her. “Oh, Christina, I’m so glad it was good for you.” Liza pulled back. “I have one question. Did you use protection?”
Christina nodded. “Jackson came prepared. Since then I’ve seen the gynecologist, so we’re okay.”
“Are you in love with him?”
“Yes, I love him. There are times, though, that I wonder if it’s him I love or the sex. Liza, I never even considered how much I would like it. It scares me sometimes.”
“Don’t look for trouble where there is none,” Liza advised. “Be thankful that you and Jackson are sexually compatible. There are thousands of women out there who’d love to be in your shoes, or maybe I should say, in your bed.”
“So you think this is normal?”
“What’s normal? As long as it makes you happy, it’s normal and right for you.”
“Are you and Robert very active?” Christina asked. It seemed that she was always asking Liza about her sex life.
“Very, and you don’t hear me complaining. Making love binds you. It doesn’t make the commitment, but it cements it. Making love also helps you keep your perspective. It’s hard to fight when you’re making love. And it’s hard to remember what the fight was about in the afterglow.”
Christina stored those comments in her memory bank. “I always thought that communication was the cement that held a relationship together, not sex.”
“Making love is a form of communication. It’s the most intimate conversation two people can have. It comforts, it relaxes, it reassures, it soothes, it excites, it stimulates. It can do all those things depending on the needs and wants of those involved. It can’t be the only form of communication in the relationship, but it’s a vital form.”
“So you think I’m worrying needlessly?”
Liza nodded. “How does he feel about you?”
“He says that he loves me, too.”
“Sounds like there’s a but in there somewhere. What’s the problem?”
“It all happened so fast. We’ve only been together since your reception.”
“Who cares about time? There’s no timetable for your emotions. You have to take love when it comes. Cherish it, don’t question it away. Be happy. Isn’t this what you wanted?”
“It is,” Christina answered. “Sometimes I wonder why all these good things are happening to me.”
Liza put her cup down and took Christina’s hand. “Good things are happening to you because you deserve good things.”
“I’m glad you’re here, Liza. Jackson’s a good listener, but I need to talk to another woman sometimes.”
“I’m glad I’m here, too. I’ve missed your friendship. And I’m glad Jackson and Robert like each other. We can do some foursomes. That makes it all the better.”
“Don’t forget Jackson and I want to take you two out. Just give us a date. Let us know, too, if you need help with anything.” Christina took a slip of paper from her desk and wrote her and Jackson’s phone numbers. She handed the paper to Liza. “Call us anytime.”
***
“Did you see Liza today?” Christina asked from her desk in Jackson’s apartment. They were now spending weekdays at his place, since it was closest to work and weekends at her place. They had fallen into the comfortable routine of bringing work home and working until all hours of the night.
“In passing. We didn’t get to talk, but she mentioned they were thinking about moving in here. That would be great, wouldn’t it?”
Christina nodded. “We should plan something special to welcome them to Atlanta. I just have no idea what.”
“We can have a party for them. Introduce them to some people. Not a lot of people, just a small dinner party.”
“We’d host a party?” It made them seem like an official couple. Not that they weren’t, but giving a party for his fraternity friends made a statement.
“Sure. Don’t you like the idea?”
“It’s not that. This’ll be the first time we’ve hosted a party.”
“I say it’s about time. It would be a good time for you to meet Betty, Ellis’s wife. I hate that you two haven’t met each other yet. Let’s pick a date that she and Ellis can definitely make.”
The plans began forming in Christina’s mind. “Do you want to have it here, or at my place?”
“It doesn’t matter. You decide.”
Christina weighed the pros and cons. “We can have a larger group at my place. How many people were you thinking about?”
“No more than ten, including us. Ellis and Betty, Michael and Jewel, Robert and Liza, you and me, and one other couple. Who do you suggest?”
“Why don’t we invite Angela? She’s seeing somebody, isn’t she?”
“I don’t know. You spend more time with Angela than I do.”
Christina detected his hesitation. “Does that bother you—my friendship with Angela?”
“Not at all. I just wonder if she’ll feel awkward when we’re with Ellis and Betty and Mike and Jewel. Jewel and Betty are the ones who wanted to pair me up with Angela originally. I don’t want her feelings to be hurt.”
Christina remembered the first time she and Jackson had gone out with Mike and Jewel. She had sensed a need to win Jewel over. She had done it, and she now had a new friend. “She may be more hurt if we don’t invite her. Jewel and Betty are her friends, too.”
Jackson picked up his newspaper. “If you think that’s best, let’s do it. I’ll talk with Ellis tomorrow and get some dates and we’ll work it from there. Okay?”
“Okay,” she said. She hoped Jackson hadn’t acquiesced just to appease her. “Are you about ready for bed?”
“I have more reading to do. You go on ahead.” He looked up from the paper. “Just don’t go to sleep before I get there.”
***
When Christina awoke Sunday morning, Jackson wasn’t in bed with her. Maybe he’s in the bathroom, she thought. Or the kitchen. She waited awhile, then, sensing something was wrong, got up to look for him. She found him in the family room. She stood in the doorway and watched him hang up the phone, then lean forward and place his head in his hands.
“Bad news?” she asked, as she walked toward him.
He lifted his head from his hands and turned in her direction after she spoke. “Just another call to my dad. Every call affects me this way.”
She took a seat on the couch next to him and pulled him back so his head rested against her. She began rubbing her hands across his chest. There was nothing sexual in her touch this morning, she only
wanted to comfort him. “What did he say?” she asked.
“Why can’t he get over her?” Jackson demanded to know. “She left fourteen years ago.”
She heard the pain in his voice and she wished she had answers for him, but she didn’t. “Neither of you have heard from her in all this time?” Christina found it hard to believe that his mother had just disappeared.
Jackson shook his head. “I haven’t heard a word, and I don’t think Dad has, either.”
“How do you know nothing happened to her? Maybe she didn’t leave willingly.”
“She left a letter. I never read it. My dad sat me down and told me she was gone. He said she left a letter saying she needed her own space. Wanted to find herself,” he said. “Can you believe that? The old man didn’t even care enough to lie to me. How can you tell your fifteen-year-old kid that his mom just up and left? That she doesn’t love him?”
Christina held him tighter. “It was cruel of your mother to leave, and your father handled it badly,” she agreed. “Didn’t you want to find out for yourself? Didn’t you want to talk to her yourself?”
“Yes, and that talk led to the deterioration of my relationship with my dad. I called him a liar. I told him my mom did love me. I told him she left him, not me. I told him I was going to find her.”
Christina wished she could absorb some of his pain. She hoped talking about it helped him. “What did you do?”
“I set my sights on getting out of that house and looking for my mom. I told myself that she didn’t leave me. She was out there waiting for me somewhere. My dad was the bad guy.”
“You never found her?”
“I didn’t say that. During my second year in college, I hired a private detective. Can you believe that?” He didn’t wait for an answer. “She was living in Los Angeles, married with two kids— twins.”
Christina knew the ache he’d felt when he’d learned the truth was still there. Time had dulled it, but it was still there.
“She was pregnant when she left my dad,” he continued.
“She’d been having an affair. I didn’t even want to know how long it had been going on. That day my mom died for me.”
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