The three married men all shook their heads. “He’s a dead man and he doesn’t even know it,” Mike said.
“He thinks they’re just enjoying being together, and I’ll bet you Christina’s already picked out her wedding dress,” Robert added.
Jackson hoped they were right. “You guys don’t know Christina. If she were ready to get married, I’d know. There wouldn’t be any games.”
Again the three married men all shook their heads. “Has she started naming the kids yet?” Mike asked.
Jackson shook his head. “No, we’ve only talked about how many we’d like to have.”
“That’s it, man, when you start talking about babies, it’s all over but the ceremony,” Robert explained. They all laughed. “We’re kidding you, man. I, for one, wouldn’t trade marriage for anything. You and Christina have a good thing going. We wish you all the best.”
“Thanks, man,” Jackson said. He knew he and Christina had something special. And more and more each day he wanted to make it permanent.
***
“I didn’t think I’d like you, Christina, since you busted up what was probably my best matchmaking effort, but I like you a lot,” Betty said.
Christina didn’t know to respond to that, but found she didn’t have to.
“You’ll get used to Betty, Christina,” Jewel explained. “She has a tendency to say what she thinks without thinking about what she says.”
“She’s right,” Betty agreed. “I didn’t mean anything bad. Angela told me that I’d like you, but I wasn’t too sure.”
“Well, I’m glad we all get along, since our men are such good friends,” Christina said. “Have you heard from Angela today? I expected her to be here by now.”
“She didn’t call you?” Betty asked.
Christina shook her head.
“She must have gotten tied up,” Betty explained. “She’s meeting with the producers for her talk show tonight. It came up suddenly and she couldn’t get out of it.”
“That’s great—the show, I mean,” Christina said. “I hope this means it’s really going to happen.”
“I think that’s what it means,” Betty said.
“I’m happy for her,” Jewel added, “but I wanted to meet her new guy.”
“Yes,” Betty said. “So did I. This is the first guy Angela’s dated who works at her station.”
“This guy works with Angela?” Christina asked. “I didn’t know that.”
“She probably decided to give it a shot since it’s working so well for you and Jackson,” Betty said. “What’s it like working with him and living with him?”
“It’s good. You know, we’ve only been doing it for four months, but it seems like we’ve been doing it forever. He understands my day, I understand his. We support each other. I had my apprehensions, but now I recommend it highly.”
“Ellis says you’re his boss,” Betty continued. “What’s that like?”
“We don’t think of it that way,” Christina responded. Betty did ask a lot of questions, she thought. “Because of the nature of our work, we don’t really have to deal with the boss-employee roles.” Christina knew she wasn’t being completely honest, but it wasn’t Betty’s business.
“That’s right,” Liza interjected. “I work for Christina, too, but we’re also friends. It can work if you want it to.” Christina gave Liza a thank-you smile, then Liza added, “I’m a newlywed and I’m missing my man real bad right now. Can we go and see what they’re up to?”
They all laughed. “Newlyweds,” Betty repeated. “I’m surprised you two were willing to get out of bed to come here.”
Liza winked at Christina. “It was tough, but we couldn’t let Christina down.”
***
“You were a hit tonight,” Jackson said to Christina. She was in the bathroom, so he couldn’t see her.
“It did go well, didn’t it?” He heard the water come on.
“More than well,” he replied. “What’s taking you so long in there?”
She walked out of the bathroom then, turning off the light as she did.
“What are you so impatient about?” she asked. She sat on the side of the bed and began to lotion her legs.
“Let me do that,” Jackson said. “Lie back.”
Christina lay back on the bed and Jackson began applying the lotion to her legs. “You didn’t warn me about Betty,” she said.
“I didn’t know I needed to. What did she do?”
“It’s not so much what she did as what she said.”
“I know she’s a talker, but I thought she was basically harmless.”
“She is. There’s not a malicious bone in her body. She’s just a bit more outspoken than I expected.”
“Turn over,” Jackson said. He began applying the lotion to her hips and the backs of her legs. “What did she say?”
“She said she liked me even though I did break up her perfect couple, you and Angela.”
Jackson laughed. “Betty said that? And what did you say?”
“I was at a loss for words. What could I say? I told her I was glad we got along since our men were such good friends.”
“Did you like her?”
“I don’t know if I’d use the word ‘like.’ She’s a nice person. I don’t know if I could be around her for an extended time, though.”
“Well, I’ll make sure you don’t have to. We’ll only see them at fraternity events and get-togethers like tonight’s. How did she and Jewel get along with Liza?”
“They got along well. Liza enjoyed keeping Betty in line. And you know Jewel, she gets along with everybody.”
Jackson slapped Christina softly on the buttocks. “Finished.”
She turned over.
He smiled at her and added, “Too bad Angela couldn’t make it. She would have helped Liza keep Betty in line.”
“I wish she could have come, too. Jewel and Betty said Angela was dating a new guy, somebody she worked with. Did you know that?”
Jackson shook his head. “I hadn’t heard. It doesn’t sound like Angela, though. She had strong convictions about dating coworkers. If it’s true, this guy must be something special.”
Christina reached up and touched his face. “Betty said she was following our example.”
Jackson covered her hand with his own. “We set a pretty good one, don’t you think?”
She raised up and kissed him on the lips. “I sure do.” When she moved to lie back down, Jackson followed her. He was about to kiss her again when she asked, “How did Robert get along with the guys?”
“I think they got along well. He’s a frat, and that makes it easier.” He kissed her above each eye. “They had something else in common, too.”
Christina closed her eyes and let herself enjoy him. “And what was that?”
He continued with kisses all over her face. “They’re all very much in love with their wives. It’s obvious.”
Christina tilted her head to give him better access. “Same with the women. Three solid marriages right before our eyes.”
“They seem to think that we should be next,” Jackson said casually. His kisses continued.
“What did they say?” she asked.
“They said we’re obviously in love and we’re acting married, so we may as well get married.”
She opened her eyes then. “What do you think?”
Jackson stopped kissing her and looked into her eyes. “I think they’re right.”
She didn’t say anything. All she could think was that it was too soon. They had known each other six months and they’d only been together for four months. Marriage now would be a disaster. It just wasn’t done. They needed more time to get to know each other.
Jackson asked, “What do you think?”
“I love you, Jackson, but it’s too soon to think about getting married.” At his pained look, she added, “You haven’t even met my mother. I haven’t met
your father.”
“I don’t want to marry your mother. I want to marry you.”
Christina couldn’t think of anything to say. She had dreamed of hearing those words from this man. But it was too soon, wasn’t it? Didn’t they need more time to be sure? What if he decided later that he’d made a mistake? It was better to be sure than to make a mistake and end up in divorce court. That she couldn’t handle. “I couldn’t marry you before you’ve met my mom or I’ve met your dad. It wouldn’t be right.”
Jackson sat up. His back was to her. He admitted his surprise, his disappointment, at Christina’s hesitation. Was she looking for an excuse not to marry him? Maybe she didn’t want to marry him. “I don’t understand. We’re living like we’re married already. What would change?”
“I don’t know,” she said softly. “I do love you and I’m committed to you. I want to marry you and have your babies. I want to grow old with you, but I need time to get used to this.” When he didn’t respond, Christina added, “I don’t want to lose you. Tell me I’m not going to lose you because of this.”
Jackson turned to face her. He saw the fear in her eyes and knew that a part of her expected that she would lose him. That was the past. He was the present. He couldn’t erase the past. All he could do was hope that she would believe in his love for her. “You’re not going to lose me, Christina.”
***
Christina sat in her office preparing for the Friday status meeting with Liza and Jackson. Today they had to select the first application site for Optima. Christina studied the file. She hoped they could agree.
“Let’s start with site selection,” Christina said, when Liza and Jackson were seated in her office. “Who wants to go first?”
“I will,” Jackson said. He spread out four charts that he had pulled together. “We should start with E-Manufacturing. They’re aggressive and they’re prepared to do a full conversion within six months.”
“That’s what concerns me about E-Manufacturing,” Liza said. “They’re too aggressive for a new product like Optima. We need to start on a smaller scale. Maybe Kenner Limited. They have one line that they want to bring up, then see what happens. We could use that time to work out the kinks.”
“The kinks ought to be worked out before we deliver to the field,” Jackson explained. “Kenner Limited won’t be a showcase site for this product. E-Manufacturing will give us the cover page of every major manufacturing journal in the country.”
“You’re right, Jackson,” Liza said, “but it’s too risky. We shouldn’t go that big until we’re sure.”
Jackson knew it was no use talking to Liza. She was much too conservative. He turned to Christina. “What do you think?”
“There’s merit to Liza’s concern. We need the extra time that Kenner would give us. We go with Kenner.”
“Surprise” didn’t adequately capture Jackson’s response. Had Christina gone conservative on him, too? He definitely did not like the way the scales had been tilting around here lately.
***
Jackson walked out on the balcony of his apartment to talk with Christina. ‘That’s the second time this week that you’ve sided with Liza against me.”
Christina turned from the railing to look at him. “What did you say?”
“At the status meeting today . . .you sided with Liza. It’s the second time that you’ve done it.”
“I didn’t side with Liza. I made the best decision for CL. Nothing more, nothing less.”
“So you think Liza’s judgment is better than mine?” He vowed not to get angry, but he felt his temper rising.
“Not really. I think she’s more cautious than you some of the time.”
In his opinion, Liza was cautious to a fault. “You think I don’t use caution.”
“You’re deliberately misunderstanding me, Jackson. That’s not what I’m saying at all. You’re good at your job. Liza’s good at her job. Most of the time we’re able to come to a consensus. When we can’t, it’s my job to decide. Sometimes it’ll be in your favor, sometimes it’ll be in Liza’s favor. I’m not being disloyal to you, if that’s what you’re implying. This is business, plain and simple.”
“Whatever you say, Christina,” Jackson said smugly. “You’re the boss.” He turned and walked back into the apartment.
Seventeen
“It’s not the end of the world, Christina,” Liza said. “All relationships have problems. You’ve got to find out what your problem is and fix it.”
Christina looked across the conference table at her friend. “Easier said than done.”
“How’s the sex?”
“It’s been better. We go through the motions, but I can tell something’s wrong and I know he can, too.”
“Have you talked about it?”
“We’ve talked around it. I think it’s a lot of different things.”
Liza nodded. “I thought something was up.”
“You did?” Christina didn’t know why she was surprised. From the beginning, outsiders knew what was going on with her and Jackson before they did.
“I’ve noticed lately that you two aren’t as relaxed with each other as you were before. The staff has noticed, too. I overheard Penny and Doris talking about it.”
“Penny and Doris? What were they saying? Do they know we’re living together?”
“There’s speculation, but no one really knows. They know there’s tension between you that wasn’t there before.”
Christina stood up and walked to the windows. Looking out, she said, “I knew this would happen.”
“Knew what would happen?”
“I knew we couldn’t keep this relationship out of the office. That’s part of the problem.”
“What are you talking about, Christina?”
She turned around and looked at Liza. “I think Jackson resents my being his boss.”
“That’s a pretty serious charge. You need to talk to him about this.”
“I know. That’s why I can’t bring it up.”
“Keeping it bottled up inside isn’t going to work. You’ve got to talk to him about it.”
Christina began to pace. “Our relationship was going so well. It was almost too good to be true. Maybe it was.”
“Don’t blow this out of proportion now. Remember that you love this man and he loves you. Whatever’s wrong can be fixed.”
Christina stopped pacing and looked back at her friend, wanting very much to believe her words. “I wish I were as sure as you, Liza. I wish I were as sure as you.”
***
“What do you want to do this weekend?” Jackson asked. He and Christina were in his apartment.
“I don’t care. What do you want to do?” She wondered if she had imagined the friction between them.
“I was thinking about taking in a ball game with Ellis, Mike, and Robert this weekend. Mike has tickets for Saturday and Sunday.”
Then again, maybe she wasn’t imagining it. “Don’t worry about me. I understand you want to spend some time with your friends.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to do something else?” he asked.
“I’m sure. You go and have fun. Maybe Liza and I’ll do something.”
He walked into the kitchen. “And since the games are downtown, I thought I’d spend the weekend in town.”
“Oh,” was all she said. Our first weekend apart, she thought. We’ve only been together five months and he wants a weekend alone. This is the beginning of the end.
“Don’t say it like that.”
“Like what?”
He walked back into the living room. “Like I’ve said I don’t love you anymore.”
She didn’t say anything. Is that what you ’re saying, Jackson?
“What are you thinking?” he finally asked.
I’m thinking that maybe you don’t love me anymore. “This will be the first weekend we’ve been apart since we’ve been together.”
The irritation in his voice made her angry. She got up. “That’s not the point.”
“Since you know so much, you tell me. What is the point?”
“You know as well as I do that things between us have been strained for the past couple of weeks. I wonder if this is your way of dealing with it.”
Jackson took a deep breath. “I’m beginning to feel crowded. We could use some space, Christina.”
First he wants to get married and now he’s crowded. Bull . . . “Crowded?”
“Maybe ‘crowded’ isn’t the right word. We’re together all the time. We need some space.”
Doesn’t sound like a man serious about marriage. She was right not to consider his proposal. “We? So now you’re speaking for me?”
“All right. I need some space.” He turned her to face him. “I love you, Christina, but I need some space and some time to figure out where this relationship is going.”
“A few weeks ago you were ready to get married. What’s going on here, Jackson?” Christina feared asking the next question, but she had to. “Have you stopped loving me?”
“I love you, Christina, but I wonder if that’s enough. Maybe you’ve been right all along. Maybe this is moving too fast.”
Christina felt each of his words like a dagger in her heart. Jackson wasn’t supposed to leave her. They were supposed to be together forever. “You’ve felt this way and you’ve never mentioned it to me?”
“I didn’t know where to start. I couldn’t talk about it.”
“Can you talk about it now?”
“No more than what I’ve said. It’s not you, it’s me. I’m not feeling good about myself lately. I’ve got to work through it.”
“You have to work through it alone? Without me?” Tears were in her eyes, but she was determined not to let them fall.
Jackson nodded.
“If that’s the way it has to be, there’s nothing I can do.” Christina began putting her papers in her briefcase.
“What are you doing?” Jackson asked.
“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m going home.”
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