Bands of Gold

by Angela Benson

  “Do you think they’ll get back together after all these years?” Jackson asked, his gaze on her stomach.

  “It looks that way.” Christina wished Jackson would stop staring at her stomach. He was beginning to make her nervous.

  “Theirs must be a really strong love. If circumstances had been different, your parents would have been married for more than thirty years now.”

  “Thirty years is a long time.” Not as long as Reggie’s parents, she thought, but a long time. “I heard that you had been to Oklahoma City.”

  “I was out there. How did you find out?”

  “Reggie told me.”

  Jackson lifted his gaze to her face. Reggie. He wondered why it hadn’t occurred to him earlier. “You’ve seen Reggie?”

  She nodded. “He’s visited.”

  “He’s been here, to Selma?”

  Her nod was so slight he almost didn’t see it.

  Jackson moved from the chair across from her to sit on the couch next to her. “What was he doing here?”

  “That should be obvious. He was here to see me. We’re friends.”

  “Friends? Nothing more?”

  “Friends.” No need to mention Reggie’s proposal.

  He knew the answer, but he asked anyway. “Is Reggie the guy you were thinking about marrying?”

  Christina picked up on his controlled anger and moved closer to the end of the couch, away from him. “He has asked me.”

  “And you’re considering his proposal?”

  “I don’t have many options, Jackson.”

  “The hell you don’t. You have me. I’m the baby’s father.”

  “You have a short memory. I did come to you. You were otherwise occupied at the time.” Christina could still see Angela wrapped in that towel. The pain she had felt that day was still with her. “How is Angela, by the way?”

  “I wouldn’t know. I haven’t seen her since that day in Boston.”

  Christina didn’t respond. Why should she believe him?

  “It’s true, Christina. I haven’t seen her since then.”

  “You slept with her, though, didn’t you?”

  Jackson knew he’d have to answer that question. “I did, and I’m sorry it happened.”

  “Well, I hope you didn’t tell Angela that. It’s cruel, Jackson. That’s not your style at all.”

  “You know Angela and me. I didn’t have to tell her. She knew.”

  It still hurt that Jackson had taken Angela to his bed so soon after their breakup. “Why did you sleep with her, Jackson? Didn’t what we had mean anything to you?”

  He heard the pain in her voice and for the hundredth time regretted what he’d done. “I thought it was over with us. I was trying to go on with my life.”

  She couldn’t hold that against him, since she was trying to do the same thing herself. “When did you decide it was a mistake?”

  “The day you came to the apartment. I still love you, Christina. I knew it that day. There was no place for Angela in my heart. It all belongs to you.”

  She wanted to believe him. These were the words she had waited so long to hear. “You sound pretty fickle to me, Jackson. First, you tell me you need space. Then you sleep with Angela. Then you tell Angela it was a mistake. Now you come back telling me you want us to be a family. How do I know you won’t change your mind tomorrow?”

  That hurt. He deserved it, but it still hurt. “I’m not fickle, as you put it, Christina. It was easier for me to give you the ‘space’ story rather than discuss the real problem with you. If I had done that, maybe none of this would have happened. We’d still be together.”

  “What was this real problem?” Christina asked.

  Jackson moved closer to her and took her hand in his. He was relieved she didn’t withdraw it. “It took me a while to figure it out myself. A part of it had to do with the way our work relationship started changing after Liza’s arrival.”

  “But I told you that I wasn’t siding with Liza against you. I was just making the best decisions for the company.”

  “I know you said that. And it hurt me that you did.”

  Christina was confused now. “I didn’t say it to hurt you. I was trying to reassure you.”

  “It wasn’t reassuring to know the woman in my life thought my judgment was unsound.”

  “I didn’t think that. In some cases, I agreed with Liza’s position.”

  “I know. I was there. Remember?”

  “I’m not understanding, Jackson.”

  “I felt threatened, Christina.” He wouldn’t let her interrupt. “I found out some things about myself that I didn’t like. I felt threatened. I felt I was going to lose you.”

  “Now I’m really confused. You left me because you thought you were going to lose me?”

  “Don’t try to make sense out of it. It doesn’t really make sense. I thought I was losing you and I couldn’t bear to wait around for the end to come. So I bailed out first.”

  “I loved you, Jackson. Leaving you never crossed my mind.”

  “You’re a pretty intimidating woman, Christina. You don’t really need anybody. You could have your pick of men and I feared one day you’d think you had made the wrong choice.”

  Christina was beginning to understand. She knew many of Jackson’s insecurities stemmed from his mother’s desertion. “You could have talked about this before now. Why didn’t you?”

  “I tried to a couple of times.”

  “You could have tried harder.”

  “Maybe you could have listened a little better, too?”

  She thought about that. “Maybe.”

  “Are you going to marry Reggie?” he asked.

  “No, Jackson. I’m not going to marry Reggie.”

  His relief was obvious. “Are you going to marry me?”

  She looked at him and she thought about her parents. Did she want her and Jackson to end up like them—trying to recapture a love that they lost for no good reason? “I haven’t received a proposal from you.”

  Jackson remembered the pain from the first time he had asked her. “Yes, you have. I asked you before and you turned me down. That’s the other part of what was bothering me. After you turned me down, I became convinced that you didn’t really love me.”

  “Oh, Jackson,” Christina cried. “How could you have thought that I didn’t love you? I didn’t turn you down. I just said your timing was off.”

  Keeping her hand in his, he got down on his knees in front of her. “I love you, Christina. Will you marry me?”

  ***

  “I like him. How about you?” Louise looked up at the starry sky as she and Christian walked along Main Street.

  “Yes, I like him. I hope they can work out their differences.”

  “So do I. It’s obvious he’s in love with her and more than obvious that she’s in love with him. One day they’ll regret the time they wasted.”

  Christian took her hand and they continued to walk. “You’re thinking about us, aren’t you?”

  “Their situation is like ours in many ways.”

  She looked up at him. “There are differences as well.”

  “Do you think we have a chance, Louise?”

  She’d been asking herself the same question. Thirty years was a long time. She was old and set in her ways, and so was he. “There are so many things to work out. Where would we live? Your business is in Chicago. Mine is here.”

  “People are relocating every day. We could work that out if we wanted to. The real question is whether you want to take a chance on me again.” He stopped walking and tilted her face up to look at him. “I want to spend the rest of my days with you, Louise. We can’t make up for our lost past, but we can have a future together. I love you. Will you marry me?”

  “I love you, too, Christian. After all these years I still love you. Though some things have changed, a lot of things remain the same.”

  “You�
�re talking race now?”

  “Yes. The social environment will be more tolerant, but not any more accepting than it was thirty years ago. Are you sure you want to go through that? What about your business? Would it be affected?”

  “I’d like to think my clients judge me by the work that I do. Honestly, I can imagine some effects, though. I may lose a few clients, but it doesn’t matter. I’ve managed to build a sizable business and I seriously doubt that our marriage will cause it to crumble.”

  If it did, you’d hate me, she thought. “What if it did? What if you lost your business?”

  “That’s not going to happen. If it did, it wouldn’t matter. I love what I do, but I stopped doing it for the money years ago. We’ll have more than enough to last us the rest of our days.” He smiled then. “There’ll probably be some left over for our grandchildren. Now, what’s your next problem?”

  Louise turned and started walking again. He kept up with her. “You aren’t taking this seriously, Christian.”

  “Yes, I am,” he corrected. “You’re worrying about the wrong thing. We made a mistake thirty years ago. Do you want to make the same one again?”

  She had known that one day he’d blame her for the decision she’d made. “So, you think I was wrong not to tell you about the baby?”

  “Not exactly. I think we didn’t trust our love enough. I think it would have survived. It would have been difficult, but I believe we would have made it.”

  Tears filled Louise’s eyes. “I’m so sorry, Christian,” she said. “I did what I thought was best.”

  Christian stopped walking and pulled her into his arms. “I know you did, Louise. I’m not blaming you. You did what you had to do, and I accept that. I just don’t want you to turn me away again. This is our last chance.”

  She knew he was right. It was a miracle they’d found each other again, a miracle their love still lasted. More than anything, she wanted to be with him. She squeezed him to her. “I love you so much, Christian, and I want to be your wife, but I need time to get adjusted to the thought of marriage.” She looked up at him. “Will you give me some time?”

  He smiled and she knew it was going to be all right.

  ***

  Jackson scooped dirt from the barrel. Helping in the nursery was not as easy as he expected. “We haven’t talked about the roses.”

  Christina dreaded talking about them. “I know.”

  “Do you still believe I sent them?”

  She answered honestly. “A part of me thinks it’s possible.” He visibly flinched at that and she added, “Another part of me doesn’t believe you would ever hurt me.”

  “Which part is stronger?” he asked.

  She reached into her heart to find the answer. “The part that trusts you.”

  He visibly relaxed. “That’s good to know. Now, what will it take to get rid of the doubts?”

  Christina moved to sit next to him. She was amazed at how quickly they had fallen back into their relationship. It was almost as though they’d never been apart. They were back to their pre-problem days now. Only better. Now, they talked about things, especially things that hurt, instead of allowing them to fester. “Do you think we can find out who sent them?”

  “I’ve been thinking a lot about it. Someone set me up. They wanted you to think I was sending the roses.”

  “Why would anyone want to do that?”

  “I don’t know. That’s what I’m trying to figure out. Who would want to break us up?”

  She spoke her first thoughts. “Reggie and Angela, but I won’t believe either one of them did it.”

  “They crossed my mind, too, but I dismissed them immediately. Maybe the answer is professional, not personal?”

  “I never considered that. So, you think someone thought that causing problems in our personal relationship would affect the work we were doing at CL?”

  “Possibly. Frankly, I’d rather think that over the other. I’ve hired a private detective.”

  “When? What has he found out?”

  “I hired him after I learned you were pregnant, but he hasn’t come up with anything yet.”

  “How did you find out I was pregnant?”

  “Robert.”

  She had guessed it was Robert. “I knew it. I knew Liza couldn’t keep it from him.”

  “You shouldn’t have kept it from me, Christina. Regardless of our problems, I deserved to know.”

  She knew he was right. She shuddered to think that she would have had this baby without telling him. “I know. I came to Boston to tell you, but when I found you and Angela together like that, I couldn’t. If you could fall into bed with her so quickly, I began to wonder if you ever really cared for me. I couldn’t risk finding out that you didn’t.”

  “We’ve both made mistakes in this relationship. Let’s make a pact now to keep doing what we’ve been doing since I’ve been here—talk, even when it hurts. That’s the only way we’re going to make it.” He extended his hand to her. “Deal?”

  “Deal,” she said.

  He pulled her into his arms and kissed her when she reached for his hand. “If you get any bigger, my arms won’t go around you.” he teased.

  “Are you happy about the baby, Jackson? It wasn’t something we planned.”

  He pulled back to look at her. “Very happy. I think I’m going to be a great father. I’ve been practicing.”

  She chuckled. “Practicing?”

  “Yes. I even went to see my dad.”

  “Your dad? When?”

  “Right after I found out about the baby. I don’t want any estrangements in our family.”

  “How did it go?” she asked. She was glad that he was building bridges.

  “Dad hasn’t changed, but he’s not so bad. I learned a lot about him that weekend. With a little training, he’ll do okay as a granddad.”

  “It’s all working out, isn’t it, Jackson? You and your father, my mother and father, you and me. Everything is falling into place.”

  He hugged her to him. “Almost everything. We still don’t know who’s been sending the roses, and unless I’m mistaken, Reggie still thinks you might marry him.”

  She lowered her eyelids. “I don’t like the idea of hurting him. He’s been a good friend to me and the baby.”

  Jackson knew, on some level, that he should be grateful for the way Reggie had supported Christina, but he just wanted the guy out of their lives. “I don’t like to think about that. I appreciate that he was there for you when you needed somebody, but I don’t like that he’s always hanging around you.”

  “Jealous?” she teased.

  “Maybe. The man planned to be a father to my child. I don’t like it. Did he tell you that we almost came to blows on my visit to Oklahoma City? Mr. Stevens told me to talk to you, tell you how I felt.”

  “You could have done that.”

  “Not then. My feelings about our work relationship got mixed up with my feelings about my own manhood. I needed to work that out. And the situation had been complicated by the roses. I didn’t know what to do. Then the Boston job came through and I took it.”

  Christina put her hand to her mouth. “Your work? I had almost forgotten about that. When do you have to get back?”

  “I left it open. We have to decide what we’re going to do. Are you going to marry me?”

  Her mind went to the roses. Her heart went to his eyes. She wanted a life with him. It all boiled down to whether she would trust him to share his life with her. “Yes,” she answered.

  His eyes lit up. “When?”

  “Soon.”

  He reached down and touched her belly. “I’d say the sooner the better.”

  She laughed. “I agree.”

  They stood holding each other for a while. “Jackson,” she said. “I have to tell Reggie first.”

  Jackson began nibbling her on her neck. “I understand that. Tell him.”

  “Jackson?”r />
  “Umm . . .” He was still nibbling.

  “Reggie’s coming to town this weekend.”

  ***

  Christina met Reggie at the airport. “We need to talk,” she told him as soon as he greeted her. “Let’s go to the lounge.”

  When they were seated in the lounge, Reggie said, “This has to be bad news.”

  Christina reached over and touched his hands. She felt the tears puddling in her eyes. “You’re the best friend a girl could have, Reggie. I love you for all you’ve done for me and the baby, but I can’t marry you.”

  “Has something happened?”

  She nodded. “Jackson came to town a few days ago.” She knew this would hurt, but she had to tell him. “I still love him, Reggie, and he loves me.”

  She was surprised to see a half smile form on Reggie’s face. “I half expected this,” he said. “I knew you loved him, I just hoped you’d get over it.”

  She smiled through her tears. “You don’t get over love, Reggie. I hope you find someone and learn that for yourself someday. You deserve more than I could have given you.”

  “Is Jackson still here?”

  She nodded. “He’s waiting in the car. I wanted to talk with you alone.”

  “I’m not ready to congratulate him yet. Do you understand that?”

  She did. “And so does Jackson. Neither of us wanted to hurt you.”

  “I know. Why don’t you leave now? I could use the time alone before I take the next flight back to Oklahoma City.”

  “Are you sure that’s what you want?”

  “I’m sure,” he said, and then he smiled. “You’d better get back to Jackson. He’s probably thinking I’ve convinced you that I’m the better man. Any minute now he’ll come storming through the door.”

  There was so much Christina wanted to say. She wanted to tell him how much he had helped her. She wanted to tell him that if it were not for Jackson she could have loved him. Instead, without saying anything, she stood up, squeezed his hand again, and left.

  Tears began to fall when she thought of Reggie and Angela, two innocent people who had been hurt because they had cared for her and Jackson. She wished they could find a love like the one she and Jackson shared.