American Street Kings: The Complete Series

by Bella J

  “Ink,” I placed my hand on his arm, his skin warm under my touch, “I want you to kiss me. I liked it when you kissed me before. But what if they come back, Slither and his men? The memories of what they did to me?”

  He cursed, his jaw ticking. Just by looking in his brandy eyes, I could see the anger he felt. “I should have been there,” he said through clenched teeth. “I should have stopped them. If I—”

  “Don’t. Don’t start with the what-ifs. We’ll be here all day if we have to start going down that road.”

  His body went rigid, the muscles in his arm pulling taut.

  “Ink, what I’m trying to say is, right now, I…eh…I”—biting my bottom lip, I struggled to say the words—“right now, I need you, and it scares me thinking I need someone as much as I need you. But what scares me more is that the monsters in my head will take control while I’m with you.”

  He placed a palm against the side of my neck, his thumb tracing circles below my jaw. “I get it, Neon. I do.”

  “No, I don’t think you do.” Tears welled up, and I had to swallow to stop them from escaping. “I’ll hurt you. I’ll end up ruining what we have here, and I don’t want to do that, because the truth is…I don’t know what I’ll do without you.” With my last word, a single tear trickled down the side of my face. For so long, I kept fighting him, kept turning him down, never seeing the man with the scars. But now that I had, now that I caught a glimpse of the man he was inside, I realized how much I needed him.

  A hint of a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “Do you know how long I’ve waited for you to say that?”

  I scoffed. “What? That I’ll hurt you?’

  He shook his head, sucking his bottom lip. “That you need me, and that you don’t know what you’d do without me.” That smart-ass grin of his appeared along with a slight glint of mischief in his eyes. “Just…just let me soak that up for a few seconds.”

  “Oh, my God.” I shoved a hand at his chest. “You’re an asshole, you know that?”

  “Coming from you, I’d take that as a term of endearment.”

  I had to laugh. It was clear what he was doing, playing down the heavy so I could breathe again. No one knew me as well as this man, and he knew talking about my feelings was about as hard as gnawing through wood.

  He lifted a dark brow. “Want to go get a drink?”

  “God, yes. I thought you’d never ask.”

  Taking a step back, he held out his hand. It was more than an invitation for me to place my hand in his, it was him asking me to walk out of this room with him…together. It was a request to make whatever this was between us official so everyone would know who I belonged to. Him.

  I licked my lips, my heart beating so fast with just a sliver of excitement bubbling in my gut. It was probably the closest I’d ever come to having the metaphorical butterflies every soppy love story talked about. The ones that made the heroine do stupid shit, all in the name of love.

  Slow and hesitant, I reached out, my hand hovering above his, every second stretching for an eternity. A war raged between the beat of my heart and the screams of monsters in my head. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath, willing my heart to win the battle—and the second my palm touched his, it did. My heart won, and the monsters had to retreat. I just prayed they stayed away…for good.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Ink

  I didn’t care what anyone else thought or said. All I cared about was holding this woman’s hand and never letting go. Something shifted between us. The open disclosure of our pasts, the stories behind our scars, connected us on some deeper level. Something I knew in my heart wouldn’t be broken easily.

  I wasn’t a fool. I knew our road together would be no fucking walk in the park. But I was determined, and I would walk through hell with a flashing fuck-you sign on my forehead if it meant we’d find just a sliver of happiness on the other side.

  Tightening my hold on her hand, I glanced down at her, loving the fact that she was walking beside me. That was where she belonged, next to me…with me.

  “Yo, Ink.” Manic came rushing around the corner. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere, man.”

  “What’s up?”

  Manic glanced at Neon. Either he didn’t see we were holding hands, or just didn’t feel the need to crack a joke about it.

  Neon let go of my hand, and in my mind I dropped an entire vocabulary of fucks, fucking, fuckers and fuck-this-shits.

  “I’ll give you two some privacy.” She smiled before walking off down the hall.

  I glared at Manic. “I hope someone is dying. If not, I’ll have to kick your ass.”

  “I’d like to see you try.” The challenge clung to the arrogant smirk on his face. “But seriously, though. We have trouble.”

  “What kind of trouble?”

  “Crow. He suspects we know where Slither is.”

  I crossed my arms. “How?”

  “I dunno how. All I know is the Sixes are watching us like hawks.”

  “How do you know this?”

  He backtracked a little, and for a fleeting moment I saw a strange look in his eyes. “I just know.”

  “How the fuck do you know, Manic?”

  He rubbed the back of his neck, staring down at the ground, looking guilty as sin.

  “Manic, what the fuck is going on?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Manic,” I growled, grabbing him by the collar and slamming his back against the wall. “What. The fuck. Is going. On?”

  “I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.”

  “You’re lying. I saw that look between you and Crow the other day.”

  “What look?”

  I tightened my grip on his cut. “The kind of look that proves you’re hiding something from us.”

  Manic’s green eyes studied me, a few seconds ticking by before he shoved me away from him. “Fine. But you need to swear to me this stays between us.”

  “No can do, brother. It depends on what the fuck you’re about to tell me.”

  Manic pushed away from the wall. “A secret for a secret.”

  Sly motherfucker, cashing in the IOU card he had by not telling anyone I had Slither chained and demented in a secret room no one else knew about.

  Grinding my teeth and curbing my annoyance, I nodded in agreement.

  Manic stepped closer, glancing up and down the hall. “Crow’s doing me a favor.”

  “What kind of favor?”

  “Personal.”

  I shook my head at him, a simple indication that his answer wasn’t good enough.

  Pulling his hand through his hair, he pressed his lips into a thin line before finally letting out a sigh. “Crow has the kind of connections I need.”

  “To do what?”

  A few seconds ticked by while he kept my gaze. “To find my parents.”

  I’d admit, his answer kinda threw me for a loop for a moment or two. Manic never spoke about his parents, or his need to find them. We all knew he grew up going from one foster home to the other, a shitty way of living for any child. But never once did I get the impression searching for his biological parents was something on his bucket list.

  I crossed my arms. “Since when do you want to find your biological parents?”

  “Since I learned that I might have a younger brother out there.”

  “A younger brother?”

  “Yeah. And if he’s in the system, I have to get him out.”

  “Okay, hold up.” I held out my hands. “So, you’re telling me you know you have a brother out there somewhere, even though you don’t even know who your parents are?”

  Manic paced as he lit a cigarette, frustration pulsing off him in waves. “I’ve done some digging around—”

  “And by digging around you mean bribing your way into system records?”

  “Exactly.”

  I snorted, not the least bit surprised. “What did you find?”

  “My mother’s name.”
>
  “Father?”

  “There’s no name listed anywhere as the father.”

  “Okay, but you have your mother’s name, so it won’t be a problem to find her.”

  He leaned against the wall, lifting his one leg, placing his heel against the concrete. “It’s a little more complicated than that.”

  I went to stand against the wall opposite him. “Remind me again why you got Crow involved in this?”

  Glancing at me from under his lashes, I knew whatever the fuck he was about to tell me wasn’t something I was going like.

  “The name listed for the woman who gave birth to me is Cassandra.” He blew out a cloud of smoke before looking my way again. “Cassandra Blackwood.”

  “Jesus.” If it was possible for my heart to tear out of my fucking ass, this would have been the moment for it to happen. “Blackwood? As in, Cassian Blackwood? Crow?”

  He shrugged. “Seems like it.”

  “Christ.” I pulled my palm down my face. “Is this Cassandra Blackwood related to Crow?”

  He nodded, and I closed my eyes. “Please, please tell me Crow’s mother isn’t this Cassandra Blackwood you’re talking about.”

  Manic straightened. “No. Crow and I aren’t brothers.”

  “Thank fuck.”

  “But seems like we might be cousins.”

  I held up my hands, pinching my eyes closed yet again. “Just shut up for a second so my head won’t explode.” I paced a few feet away, both hands weaved through my hair. “Cassandra is Crow’s aunt?”

  “His aunt, and my supposed mother who disappeared the same year I was born.”

  “Then how the fuck is it possible that you have a younger brother in the system if she wasn’t even around?”

  “I dunno, man. There’s a lot of shit that don’t make sense. But I figure finding out who my father is might give me some answers.”

  “And Crow can help you with this, I assume.”

  Manic merely nodded.

  I rubbed my temples, thinking a mother fucking migraine might be less painful than the current state of mindfuck I was in due to the information overload Manic just dumped on me like a heap of fucking shit.

  “Okay,” I turned to face him again, “let’s backtrack here for a second. How do you know Crow suspects we have the snake?”

  “He told me.”

  “Jesus fucking Christ. Are you two meeting up for tea and macaroons every fucking Tuesday now?”

  “Listen, I have somewhere to be in half an hour. Just be careful. Crow’s on your ass.” He walked in the other direction, leaving me gobsmacked and confused as fuck.

  “And how the fuck do you know this, exactly?”

  “You ask too many questions.”

  “Hey, where the fuck you going? You can’t just drop this on a brother and bolt.”

  He glanced at me over his shoulder. “We’ll talk about this later.”

  What in the name of ever-loving fuck was going on? “PS, you’re a fucking asshole,” I yelled after him, but he had already disappeared around the corner.

  This wasn’t good. This wasn’t good at all. If Manic and Crow really were cousins, that would create one motherfucker of a conflict of interest between us and the Sixes. And now that Manic knew I had Slither, a man Crow was determined to get his hands on, it gave me one more thing to worry about.

  Would Manic betray me? When push came to shove, would he choose blood above his crew? I hated that I was questioning him, that my spine tingled with worry. If a man couldn’t trust his crew, who could he trust?

  God. I needed a beer.

  With my thoughts scattered all over the place, I made a beeline downstairs to the bar. Like always, I immediately found her among the crowd. She always stood out to me, as if she had a goddamn halo above her head only I could see. The second our gazes collided, I forgot all about the newly added stress Manic’s freshly fucked-up situation had put on my shoulders.

  Alyx and Red sat with her, no sign of Wraith. And by the absence of our president, my guess was they were probably upstairs getting it on like fucking rabbits.

  Deciding to give Neon some breathing space, I joined Dutch at the bar. My ass had hardly kissed the seat when Dutch glanced up at me. “You notice anything weird with Manic?”

  I froze, my ass only halfway on the leather barstool. “Nope.”

  “You sure?”

  “Yup.”

  Dutch turned in his seat to face me full on. “Are you really sure?”

  “Jesus Christ. What are you? A fucking bloodhound?” I held out my hand. “Yo, Dice. Gimme a beer.”

  I settled in my seat, yet I could practically feel Dutch’s stare burning holes in the fucking side of my face.

  “Dude, you’re staring at me like you’re about to start humping my leg.”

  “Something ain’t right around here.”

  This time I looked directly at him. “What do you mean?”

  “I dunno. It’s just a feeling.”

  “Listen, Nostradamus, things haven’t been right around here in a long time, so tell your feeling to calm the fuck down.”

  Dutch narrowed his eyes, his nose all scrunched up like a dog who just caught a scent. “I noticed you and Neon have been spending a lot of time together without her throwing a boot at you.”

  I snorted. “Yeah. I can see why that makes you feel like shit ain’t right around here.”

  Dutch snickered before turning back in his seat. “You love her, don’t you?”

  I picked up my beer, holding it in front of my mouth. “Yeah. I do.” There was no use in denying it. I’d loved Neon for so long I hardly remembered what it was like before she waltzed in here with her leather boots and kick-ass attitude. Pity it took a tragedy for me to realize it and accept the fact that I wanted no one else but her.

  “Good. Now, don’t fuck it up.”

  “I don’t plan to.”

  Dutch downed the last of his beer before he got up.

  “Hey, where you going?”

  “I got some people keeping an eye on Boa, just in case Slither pops up on the radar. Need to check in and see if there’s any new intel.”

  If only I could tell him he was wasting his fucking time, and that Slither wouldn’t be popping up anywhere. But I just nodded, keeping my secret.

  For months, I dreamt about having Slither at my mercy, torturing him, fucking him up in the worst possible ways. Just imagining it thrilled me to no end. But it was turning into a fucking shit show with Crow getting involved, and now having Manic in on it too. This was not how I envisioned it, all these added factors that overcomplicated it. It was supposed to be simple. Torture the fucker. Make him bleed. And then slit his throat…slowly.

  Simple.

  “Don’t touch me!”

  I jerked around when I heard her scream, adrenaline instantly manifesting in my veins. My ass was off the chair and hauling in her direction within a single fucking heartbeat.

  Breaking through the crowd, I was just in time to catch her as she stumbled back. “What happened?”

  A guy standing a few feet away was clutching his nose, blood spilling through his fingers. “The bitch broke my nose.”

  “What?” Trying to steady her against me, I saw the look of horror on her face, like she had just seen a ghost.

  Alyx came rushing from the other direction, panic written all over her face. “Neon, you okay?”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…he touched me, and—”

  “Motherfucker!” I let go of Neon, knowing Alyx was there, and launched myself at the fucker. My fist collided with his jaw, the sickening sound of bone crashing against bone. I wanted to break his face and tear his fucking skin off. Grabbing him by the collar, I crashed his back into one of the tables, people flying out of the way like fucking birds. With a fist to his gut, he crouched over, and I took the opening by slamming my knee into his midsection, over and over and over again. I couldn’t stop. All I saw was red, and it was fucking with my brain, making me want t
o tear this man apart. Fighting like a ravenous, crazed animal going for the kill, I kept beating my fist into his face, one punch after the other, the feel of his bone cracking fueling my rage. There was no voice inside my head telling me to stop, only a demon screaming for me to break this son of bitch.

  I swung my fist one more time when a hand grabbed my arm. Judging by the force with which I got pulled back, I knew it could only have been one person. Granite.

  “What the fuck is going on here?” His voice slammed against the ceiling like a motherfucking sonic boom.

  “He put his filthy hands on Neon,” I gritted between clenched teeth, glaring at the fucker squirming on the floor.

  The guy spat out a mouthful of blood, his face looking like a battlefield. I didn’t recognize him, which meant he wasn’t a regular. “Who the fuck let you in here?”

  He couldn’t talk. He was too busy fighting the pain I just dished out.

  Granite gripped my arm tighter. “Take Neon and get the fuck out of here.”

  “I’m not done with him yet.”

  “Yes, you are. Now, leave. I’ll take care of this fucking mess.”

  My glare met Granite’s, and I bit my bottom lip, tasting my own blood. Jerking out of his hold, I rushed to Neon, whose face was red and cheeks were wet. There was something raw about her tears, like her pain was still an open wound. I placed an arm around her waist. “Come on.”

  She was shaking so badly, she couldn’t put one foot in front of the other without stumbling, so I wrapped my arms around her and picked her up. With no objection, she merely placed her arms around my neck and leaned her head against my shoulder, her tears soaking through my shirt.

  “I got you, baby. I got you.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Neon

  I didn’t know what happened. All I remembered was feeling two hands on my waist—unfamiliar hands—and I was catapulted back into that room, watching my blood drip on the white-tiled floor beneath me.

  Flashes of light. Pain. Fear. It all came crashing down, and I lost myself. I felt his hands. His fingers. His vile touch. For a split second, I saw his face everywhere, and I reacted, slamming my fist into a man’s face.